Shut Up M'dudes, It's A National Holiday

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”

bro

bro it means monkey bars 

Guys you are never gonna believe what was immediately below this post for me

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

challenge: name an object no human has attempted to use sexually

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

GUYS I'M COLORBLIND

I did guess and randomly place some but WHAT

How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

Having one random ass character be the one human being would be hella funny, like give me Eowyn as Miranda Otto and have every other muppet exclaim her name in unison I beg you

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Guys I'm happy to say my gender is officially goofball.

Tag all your goofball friends :D