Monkey??? Sounding Like An Actual Cat And Not Like She Smokes 10 Packs A Day? More Likely Than I Thought,

Parental Disappointment Insults

So I’m listening to my friend play online games while on call and like your usually gamer he’s insulting the people he’s playing against. It started off as your usual insults of ‘suck a dick’ or ‘you motherfucking bitch’ but he has evolved to the funniest fucking insults I have ever heard; ✨Parental Disappointment✨ insults like for example ‘this is why your mother left us’ or ‘you could’ve been the favourite child but you had to go to college and get a degree’ don’t where that one came from or what it means but this man now has 17 children and 5 partners 

the translated text of Rody in the team up mission comics is finally here!!!!!!!!

he don’t got the booty

There's unexplored comedic potential with Captain Marvel/Shazam and his powers.

I know when they say "the power of Zeus" they focus on lightning, but Zeus is also a shapeshifter in mythology, that's one of his favorite forms of abuse of power.

Theoretically, Billy could be like Beast Boy or the Martians, and being a child, he would inevitably do dumb shit with this power.

Imagine him transforming into a goose and asking someone to post something like this

Billy batson is very much a scrapper, yes? And on the streets - and as a kid - you tend to use every dirty trick you can, right?

And as captain marvel he can't catch anything, and solomon is there to make sure he doesn't hinder his own fighting capability with silly things like 'peer pressure' and 'dignity', and he heals injuries after every encounter.

Conclusion: captain marvel bites.

I read this as Alvin the Terrible and was like damn someone takes their Httyd lore very seriously

Ghost Wind AU

part 1 || part 2

These heroes can be real idiots sometimes, Wind thinks dully as he watches yet another poorly concocted plan pan out exactly as terribly as he had foretold it would. This one even involves explosives for that added spice of death.

“For Hylia’s sake,” he says out loud as Sky throws his sailcloth over Hyrule’s hair which is literally on fire.

“Well done everyone,” Time praises once all flames are successfully smothered. They look a mess, the lot of them. Hyrule’s hair is missing chunks and still smoking a little bit, Wild is sporting both a wide grin and a broken arm and Legend is noticeably limping as he joins the rest of the group where they’re congregated.

“I would say that was a pretty successful ambush. We managed to take out all the enemies—”

“And half the mountain,” Wind adds.

“—we may have to work on bringing down casualties on our side, but that’s something we can talk about for next time. Right now, I say we take a well-earned rest. Sky, can you distribute potions to those who need them, please?”

Keep reading

right so turns out my eyes aren’t even fucking hazel but actually just blue/green (I can't tell which) with brown central heterochromia. so apparently I've just spent my entire life going about not even knowing what colour my eyes are.

I just remembered this one time then I was in like primary 3 (so like around 7) and we were doing surveys or something like that. so our teacher took us to the cloak room and gathered us all in the centre and then would pick like a feature or something, like hair or eye colour, that we would group ourselves under.  So he assigned eye colour to three corners and basically said go to the corresponding eye colour for you and I just sat down cause he had only said brown, green or blue eyes and seven year old me is like nah bicth I know what colour my eyes are and they aint that so I just continued to sit there even as my teacher is looking at me like what is this stubborn child doing. but he asked me to go to a corner and I said that no my eyes are hazel and you didn’t say hazel so I didn’t know where to go. and the poor teacher is obviously kinda annoyed at this point but he repeated himself (because I asked earlier about hazel) that no hazel eyes aren’t a thing and im still sitting there being stubborn. So he sighs and asks me to stand up and look at him so he could check and so I did.  Annnnywaaay I got to stand in a corner by my self as he counted how many people were in each corner because my eyes are literally like half brown, half green. 

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you?????