Ronald Spiers: If You Undo The Buttons On My Ike Jacket I Will Undo Your Vertebrate

Eion Bailey’s Jawline.

That’s it. That’s the post.

 “One time I was in a training session in Aldbourne on munitions and demolition being taught by Lewis Nixon. Some of the guys were not paying proper attention, talking, yacking it up a little, which annoyed Nixon. So he nonchalantly grabbed a ¼ stick of TNT, right in plain sight, attached a fuse, lit it, and threw it into the middle of the crowd. The fuse was plenty long enough to allow someone to safely grab it and throw it clear with plenty of time to spare”

- Ed “Doc” Pepping, Easy Company Medic

Doc Roe really be sliding into other peoples’ foxholes without knocking like : “what’s good, y’all lookin busted af, what we cookin, yo feet whack, gimme morphine, vibes are off, where’s the sizzuhs, what’s the WiFi password?”

Al Mampre, the last of WWII’s Easy Company (Band of Brothers) medics passed today at 97.

During his time in Holland he survived a shot from a sniper while tending to Lt. Bob Brewer.

“Like a… . mule kicked me in the leg,” he told the West Point Center for Oral History. “I looked back there, and it’s laid open right to the bone… .I gave myself a shot of morphine… . I didn’t want to go into shock.”

Ooh prompt idea: for the ships, who is the one who fills the bathroom with bath, skincare and hair care products and who is the one who uses one product for everything?

oh gosh, this one is too easy, because you  k n o w  who the divas are

WINNIX

when they first move in together, dick is honestly baffled.

how many bottles of cologne can one man have?  they’re all different scents?  he’s not even sure nix shaves every day, how and why does he have so many creams?

nix likes to smell nice, okay.  when you’ve got alcohol literally leaking out of your pores, you’ve got to put in effort not to walk around reeking like a distillery.  it helps that he’s got contacts with this cologne company in paris, and his sister is a bit of a beauty guru who’s constantly gifting him products...

he’s got a collection, okay?   dick has some hair creme and cologne for special occasions, but that’s it.  he doesn’t know what 90% of the things in their cabinet are, and at this point, he’s afraid to ask.

SPEIRTON

speirs hoards hair products.  this...  shouldn’t be a surprise.

lipton didn’t know what conditioner was before meeting speirs.   with all due respect, his hair isn’t the most...  luscious.   all he’s really done before was shampoo it, wash it out, and comb it back.  lip is a ‘meticulously-organized-bathroom-cabinet’ person, not a clutter person.

thankfully, speirs is very organized too.  he color-codes his clutter, so it’s not a big deal.

lipton has a shampoo he’s committed to, a toothpaste he’s used for years, and a cologne he bought ages ago and has worn...  maybe twice.

speirs likes to experiment with different brands and different scents.  it’s all very manly.  he was tempted to buy cherry blossom-scented soap once, just because it smelled gorgeous; he only refrained because it was obscenely overpriced.

BABEROE

babe gets so used to living with his bathroom cabinets overflowing with crap  ---  none of it his  ---   that when bill moves out, taking his many male beauty products with him, it’s a little jarring.

the bathroom cabinets look...  lonely.

it doesn’t help that gene’s, like, really minimalist.  he’s been using the same brands for years, and they suit him just fine.  his four bathroom products, added to babe’s five, and their cabinets are...  pretty damn depressing.

since neither of them are really the “cologne and hair gel” type, babe’s at a loss.  they have to fill it with something...  so, when he’s helping his mom clean out her attic one day, and finds a box of action figures from his childhood, he gets an idea.

gene opens the cabinet the next morning to be met with...  a dozen mini superheroes, and a handful of gi-joes.

and babe’s just getting started.

their cabinets are full of clutter, but none of it’s actually useful.   trinkets babe picked up at the dollar store, cool stones gene found, spare change, little gifts gene’s pediatric patients make him...   they have the most colorful bathroom cabinets, and both are very happy with the chaos they find inside every morning.

WEBGOTT

oh my god, have you seen both of these mens’ hair???  

they need product galore.  they hoard the stuff.  liebgott’s got the silky-smooth texture, but web’s got volume, and they both have their own brands of shampoo they’re committed to.  (web’s smells like kiwi; lieb is a honeysuckle guy.  honestly, they both use womens’ shampoo, and they’re not ashamed of it.)

web also has so much body wash that he frankly Does Not Need.

their shower racks are overflowing, and don’t even open the bathroom cabinet.  weirdly enough, lieb takes better care of his skin than web  ---  he’s constantly nagging web about getting sunburned while out on his boat at all hours.  lieb works hard to look good, and if that means exfoliating cream, he’ll use it.

LUZTOYE

so, neither of them are big on beauty regimes.  joe’s very smart about his deodorant, and takes care of his hair, but he doesn’t go overboard.  george’s hair is more floppy, and one of his sisters is a stylist, so she’s taught him how to take care of it; he’s a got a few shampoos-and-conditioners cluttering the shower, and one always manages to fall on joe’s foot when he’s in there.  whoops.

they’ve also got apricot scented shaving cream.  it was a gift from joe’s oldest sister.  they think it was a joke, but it’s actually great, so they both use it.

and like...  look.  listen.  george got dragged into doing face masks with his sisters once, and now he can’t get enough of them.   his skin is glowing, joe, look at that  ---   his pores can breathe!  it’s liberating!  it’s a miracle!  he’s got a few masks in the drawer, and sometimes if he’s home alone he’ll throw one on after a shower.  joe refuses to be dragged into it as a matter of principle.

Nixon: Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.

Winters: Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do?

Nixon: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

Toye: The lord gave me hands so I could punch a bitch

Dike: *screams*

Speirs: *screams louder to assert dominance*

Winters: Should we do something?

Nixon: No, I wanna see who wins.

more incorrect quotes

bonus:

Am I the only one who thinks that Penkala could be the love child of Randlemann and Martin?