Call Me Selfish But I Appreciate Having A Person I Talk To Throughout Most Of My Day. It’s Like We’re

i dont think i posted these but here i made a little frog pattern to make tiny frog toys with my grandma

this is the first lil guy I made while still learning how i should sew it

Aro culture is learning not to show your excitement over making new friends because everyone will say you have a crush.

whatever our souls are made of, you and me are going to end up stuck in the same ice hole

Growing up aromantic is

Thinking romance is something others do. Thinking romance is a set of socially constructed behaviours. Thinking romance is friends who agree to call themselves a couple. Thinking I will marry my best friend when I grow up, because we get along well and what more would there be to it?

Thinking romance is a fictional trope, and hating Disney movies because they’re all about it. Not relating to the other kids at school because they dream of fairytale endings and true love’s kiss. Not understanding when my friends start blushing and asking who I like. Thinking “liking boys” is a trend, the result of too much Disney, not an orientation.

Thinking romance is picking a boy I want to know better and calling it a crush. Exaggerating my feelings so I can fit in. Telling a friend how I can crush or stop crushing on people at will, and laughing when she says that’s not how it works. Wondering why she pines for months over a boy who doesn’t like her back.

Thinking romance is a game and scoring a partner is winning. Getting confused when others care about what comes after. Wondering what secret rules they know that I don’t. Telling myself I must be playing the wrong way, and restarting.

Thinking romance is the fiery devotion, the deep care I have for my best friends. Trying to explain it, and the words catching in my throat. Not wanting to call it romantic love, because somehow that feels wrong. Not knowing what else to call it, because if this isn’t romance, what is?

Thinking nobody really understands romance anyway. Reading and re-reading the description of a crush in my sex education book and coaching myself to feel that way. Assuming everyone has to teach themselves how to love. Being jealous of those to whom it comes so naturally.

Thinking romance is a compromise, words and gestures that must be given to prove I care. Trying to give them and feeling out of my depth. Convincing myself I have intimacy issues. Never questioning why love feels so wrong with my boyfriend, yet so right with my friends.

Thinking romance is a happy ending written for others. Watching all my friends pair off. Staying awake at night, terrified that this means I will never matter to anyone. Asking the darkness why my own kind of love isn’t enough.

Thinking romance is something I will be taught, one day. Writing stories about heartless, empty, broken characters who are fixed by true love. Meeting the right person and still not feeling the right way. Exploring various fears and traumas because one of them has to be causing this, right?

Thinking romance is something I have to feel, or what would I be? Convincing myself I can’t be aromantic because, because, because… Being afraid of a blank slate future with no other half to hold onto. Feeling like everything I thought I’d understood is falling apart.

Thinking romance is something others do. Allowing myself to let go of what was never a part of me. Crying when an aromantic friend tells me they love me like I do. Feeling, finally, like I belong, like I am enough.

Knowing aromanticism can mean happy endings too.

Honestly the biggest disappointment I had researching ABC was that medieval authors did not, in fact, see the creatures they were describing and were trying their best to describe them with their limited knowledge while going “what the fuck… what the fuck…”

Change.org

Aromantic has been added to the dictionary! All three words added! We did it!

I have exciting news! Merriam Webster has added aromantic to the dictionary! That means all three words we were asking them to add have been

ASEXUAL, AGENDER, AND AROMANTIC ARE NOW OFFICIAL WORDS IN THE ENGLISH DICTIONARY

Hey just so you all know, the Prehistoric Planet Uncovered bonus episodes are actually being put up on the Apple TV official YouTube channel!

While it is really preferred that you do not pirate this series, if you absolutely have to for whatever reason, PLEASE watch the uncovered episodes on the official YouTube channel to show your support. These mini episodes are only around 5 minutes each and they really give a fascinating insight into all the science and research put into the show.

If we want more accurate dinosaur media where the dinosaurs actually behave like living animals, we need to show as much support as we can no matter how small.

[Edit: Updated to include all 5 Uncovered episodes]

I have absolutely no idea what those flowers/bushes are called ..

“friends don’t look at friends that way” yeah maybe you should stop automatically assuming something is romantic without the person themselves outright saying it because you don’t know shit. it’s almost as if it’s normal to smile and feel happy looking at someone you care about and admire.

can’t i look at my friends and my family with a loving gaze because i just really appreciate that they’re in my life and i love being with them and i’m just thinking of all the fun times we’ve had together?? like why do you think you have the right to judge what SOMEONE ELSE feels based on a glance that you know nothing about. you don’t know what they feel. you don’t know shit and stop acting like you do just for the sake of your own comfort.

y’all might think this is some cool angsty love trope but it’s actually quite arophobic. i’ve had friendships ruined because of this. nothing is romantic unless the people involved directly say so. if you want to know if something is romo or not then ASK. some of you don’t understand that someone else’s love life and feelings are not for your own gratification or discussion and it really fucking shows

I remember posts like this being helpful when I was questioning so I thought it might be good to make a checklist of sorts for The Aro Experience:

not picking up on your friend’s crushes

not understanding the appeal of kissing

thinking about your future and being excited to live alone/with friends rather than immediately thinking about marriage

being annoyed or grossed out by romance in the media

alternatively, seeing romance in the media as formulaic, saying things like ‘these two characters will kiss once then break up I can tell from the portrayal of their first interaction’ rather than getting emotionally invested.

choosing not to read/watch something because there is romance

not getting why people say they want a relationship if they don’t have a crush at the time

your ideal romantic relationship being suspiciously similar to your ideal friendship when you think about it

being able to explain your ‘type’ with fashion style, aka caring more about clothes than looks when considering if you find someone attractive

feeling like your views on relationships are more ‘childish’ than your friend’s views are

feeling uncomfortable when family or friends ask if you’re dating/like someone, even if their questions aren’t particularly invasive

assuming other people make up their crushes to fit in or seem cool 

making your own crushes to fit in, or just mindlessly agreeing that  people all your friends like are ‘hot’ even if you don’t think so

feeling out of place and like you can’t contribute when your friends talk about crushes and relationships

thinking people your age are way too young to date, and this view never seeming to change as you get older

This is mostly from personal experience and obviously every aro is different, but hopefully this is helpful.