"He Hasn't Told Me His Name, So I’m Just Calling Him ‘Guy.’ He—”

Logan, quietly, seeing a unisex bathroom sign: Ah, yes, the three genders: Pants, skirt, and wheelchair.

Thomas:

Everyone who can't hear/see Logan: *gives him strange looks*

v @the-floral-skeleton

Skshdjs now I'm just imagining this and all the possibilities

Light sides: *solving some problem in the middle of the night*

Janus, smacking the roof with a broom handle: SHUT! UP! WE'RE TRYING! TO SLEEP!

Alternatively—

Logan, stomping on the floor:

I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL

Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME

(Remus, tired: Isn't he keeping up the light sides too?

Janus: I believe that's intentional. )

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

Just discovered that I say "I love you~" in a very specific voice to my cats so often that they respond to it like it's their name. Here's how I found out:

Me: Good morning kitties <3

Cats: *mostly uninterested*

Me: I love you~

Cats: *both looking at me with attentive eyes, as if I've said their names*

Me:

Package tracker: You shipment is a state away and should arrive by the end of the day.

Me, sitting in the windowsill in the morning: Mail??

Sometimes I fuck myself up thinking about how on the DSMP Technoblade became Ranboo's sensei, and then became (jokingly) distraught because the sensei always dies, and how in real life Ranboo wears the crown because viewers said they sounded like Techno and they said "if the crown fits, wear it" and then the two became friends, with Techno being an experienced streamer/youtuber and Ranboo being extremely new

And then, y'know

The sensei always dies

I started watching the dream team smp. I've finished episode seven.

I have 82 hours, 30 minutes, and 36 seconds of it left. Roughly three days and ten and a half hours.

Now one of my favorite cosplayers is going to start doing dsmp cosplay.

Am I going to watch 82 and a half hours worth of mcyt to know what the hell is going on so I can continue to appreciate them and their work?

Y E S .

Logan: You malodorous scenturian!

Roman: *blank look*

Logan: *sigh*

Logan: You stinky soldier boy.

Roman: *gasp* How dare you!

An Actual Logan Quote

(Virgil: All I'm saying is that you both suck at what you do and I'm tired of having to keep lighting fires under your butts.)

Logan: You what?! Do you have even the faintest idea how dangerous that is? I never even felt any heat! You're lucky that your acts of arson have seemingly settled themselves in the past, or you could have seriously hurt someone.

(This is seriously what he's saying when he and Roman are talking over each other—)

Patton, when Janus and Roman are fighting: Well, I guess we'll just have to look for proof to see who's not being truthful!

Janus, studying his gloves: Go ahead, search my room; I have nothing to hide.

Roman, indignant: Oh, and I do?!

Janus: Uh, did I say anything about you, stupid bitch?

Roman: ...

Janus, scoffing: Egocentric much?

Another fun fact: Roman, Remus, and Virgil's were all in the same fic

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming