There's Something So Endlessly Poetic About Eva Noblezada And Reeve Carney's Relationship.

Everyone needs to calm down when the plane lands. You will get off, don't worry! I know the buckle seatbelt sign turned off, and that makes you very excited, but you don't have to jump up and push your way through the aisle yet. The door hasn't even opened! Wait your turn! Complaining and pushing each other won't make the process go any faster

Me and some coworkers one day, talking about getting maimed and amputated on the job: hey you know that scene in Pirates of the Caribbean when Barbosa detaches his prosthetic leg to drink out of

Us: haha that would be cool, we could have a peg leg like that too!

One of the guys: wait, keg leg!

Everyone: OMG KEG LEG

Me @ myself every morning: I need you to understand that work is vital to your survival, and you must get out of bed post haste

And yet I keep replying with "is survival really that important tho"

I've finally done it! I've succeeded!

Shout out to @softcats for the recipe

Reblogging for good fortune kitty

There is literally no difference between onion article headlines and those of real news reports anymore

Currently consumed by unexplainable sadness

Does anyone else compulsively fiddle with paper? Like no matter the situation or importance I cannot stop myself from fraying the corners

Anybody else sometimes wish that limbs were detachable like lego people so you could just swap them out for new ones?

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big