jaystellarbirb

Latest Posts by jaystellarbirb

Ninjago Movie verse memes

"okay kid, i have a doctors appointment, you can handle this big fuckoff bus, i believe in you, keys are in the ignition, this thing DOES NOT HAVE INSURANCE so DON'T GET PULLED OVER, have fun"

A somewhat quick drawing of a Sentinel, one of my fav dragons due to how powerful they are. Also, their design is pretty cool.

Hi kids!

Welcome to your first day at the Fairchild Preparatory School for Young Avatars.

Today we’ll be learning a song to help you keep track of your patron, and the powers all your little friends will soon be serving too.

It goes a bit like this:

The Eye sees everything The Web likes to control Corruption is decay and rot In the Lonely you’re alone

The Slaughter feeds on blood The Stranger you don’t know The End will come for all of us And the Hunt won’t let you go

The entities, the entities There are fourteen entities Choose one to serve until you die Choose the one that’s meant to be

Desolation burns with pain And the Vast is open wide The Flesh is what we all are made of And the Dark is more than night

The Spiral drives you mad The Buried wants you trapped But only one can end the world With a ritual, now how ‘bout that?

The entities, the entities There are fourteen entities Choose one to serve until you die Choose the one that’s meant to be

And don’t get blown up by a mean old lady!

[download here]

So I know this isn’t what I normally post but I figured this would be the best place to

SO!

Property value has gone up a touch…. Like a lot

So if anyone in Gotham is looking for a roommate my apartment has another bedroom, and I’m usually not even there so, you know. Stop on by.

Just don’t piss of the neighbors, and you’ll be fine. Probably.

Getting caught pickpocketing is embarrassing enough. Getting caught because you tripped over your own feet, and seeing the target leave you five bucks out of pity is unexplainably worse.

My perfect mashed potatoes

The secret is in the water; literally, it’s IN the water.

See, when you boil potatoes, a lot of special starches and sugars and stuff leeches out into the water. When you drain the water before mashing them, you throw away a lot of good stuff, which is a big part of what makes mashed potatoes “dry” and bland, even when you add large amounts of cream and butter and things.

So don’t throw out any water.

Here’s how you do that:

First, cut your potatoes into smaller cubes than you probably do. (I’ve left the skins on for flavor and also, that’s where a lot of a potato’s nutrients are, like protien and iron and vitamins B and C, just to name a few)

The reason for cutting them smaller (besides avoiding giant peices of skin) is so that there is less space in the pot between each peice for water to fill, so you use less water to cook them. That’s important because you won’t be draining any water, so you can’t afford to have too much water! For the same reason, just barely cover them with water when they go on the stove.

But! Before you do that, put the pot on the stove with some butter, garlic, and seasonings; let the butter start to sizxle just a little then put most of a single layer of potatoes in the pan and let the brown and sear. Turn them, brown them on all sides, get ‘em fairly dark (I forgot to get a pic here because I was worried I’d burn the butter).

Ready? now throw the rest of the potatoes in right on top, and add your water, give them a stir. This way, you’re boiling in some of that lovely fried potato/french fry flavor.

Okay, so, as they cook, you may need to add a little water, not too much! ideally the very highest piece of potato will be poking just above the surface. Now, when your potatoes are really really soft, mash them directly into the water. Just pull them off the stove, leave all the water in, and start mashing. Trust me. At first you’ll think there’s too much water. If you get them mashed and they ARE a little too liquidy, just put ‘em back on the stove. You’ll have to stir often or constantly, but they will steam off additional water without losing any good stuff.

Now add some salt, and taste. Right?! And you haven’t even put in any cream or cheese or anything yet.

Speaking of which, you can use like, a third of the amount of butter or cream or anything, and they will still taste better than usual. So they taste better AND they are higher in nutrients AND lower in fats and salts! That’s a lot of win — enjoy your potatoes!

Fuck Columbus! Indigenous Rights! And happy Thanksgiving!

Does anyone know what Joker was saying on this morning’s broadcast? It was too bright so I couldn’t hear

October is almost here, and everyone knows what that means!

Stay away from Spirit Halloween

Was anyone gonna tell me Riddler and Penguin have an animal crossing island or was I just supposed to get scammed by them to find out? Furthermore THEY HAVE THE FULL ART GALLERY

Pretty sure I just saw Harley Quinn beat what MIGHT have been joker quite literally into the concrete with a chair, but it’s hard to make out a face under the blood

My boss asked me why Red Hood stopped by today, and I didn’t know how to explain without basically asking to be arrested, so Red Hood, if you get a card saying “I’m sorry for your loss” don’t question it there’s an edible arrangements gift card in there

If there was ever a time for Gotham to become its own state, ITS FUCKING NOW

GIRLS GAYS AND NON BINARY BAES

I SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP

So I was walking with my backpack full of the days loot right, and overall very profitable day, decided to treat myself and keep a bracelet, average night right?

And so I’m making my way home, and I hear some punk getting mugged in an alleyway, he calls out to me for help, and I’m like “aw shit I can’t just leave him” so I get in a tussle with the mugger, I’ve got him against the wall, I’m about to give him a good pop to knock him out, buy the both of us time to get away, when I see it

Fucking RED HOOD, DROPS FROM THE ROOF AND LANDS LIKE ITS NOTHING, mind you that was probably a fifteen foot drop AT LEAST, looks at the guy, looks at the guy that was getting mugged, looks at me, and asks which one of our asses he has to kick.

Remember, I have and ENTIRE BACKPACK full of stolen stuff, and now I’ve got a guy up against a wall. I release him, put my hands up, and back away slowly, and as soon as the guy getting robbed starts talking, I fucking booked it

Like HELL I was sticking around, I’m not too fond of the idea of prison

But that’s not the worst part

No, the worst part is I just found a note saying “dear corvid, thanks for the help”

The bats know who I am now. More importantly, THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE

Hey the next time you wanna commit a crime and then talk about it, don’t. Rats have connected words relating to homicide to food, and will not only tell all their friends about it, but the random fucker that can UNDERSTAND THEM

Look I’m not a snitch, but I know about way more than I’d like to. Pigeons are chatterbox’s, stray cats will spill for a decent bowl of food and a warm bed, and raccoons will sell you out for a literal corn chip.

Shout out to Riddler, who let me off the hook when I apologized for taking so long to answer a riddle because I forgot my ADHD meds.

My phone just closed the 8 safari tabs I had open completely unprompted and I’m going to SCREAM

I just figured out why my gay ass likes goth women.

They’re more confident

Let me explain. Almost every goth/emo boy I have ever met is the whiniest little fucker with the biggest victim complex, and purposely ignores people thinking they actually need help, tries to get them that help, just so they can keep upping the whole “nobody understands me” thing even though there parents are doing everything they can to try.

But almost every goth girl I’ve ever met has been shot down CONSTANTLY, always being told they’re never getting a boyfriend, they’re ugly, so on and so forth. And yet they still have the energy and courage to say “fuck you” crush you under their platform boots, deck you in the face, and reapply their midnight rose lipstick afterwards. They don’t give two FUCKS what you think.

Now obviously there are exceptions, but I’m talking generally speaking.

So in conclusion goth women are generally more confident, and confidence is a very attractive trait. Thank you for coming to my Ted-talk

Cottagecore goth?

That's an interesting aesthetic!

The bird that's your profile pic does seem to exactly fit that desc, neat! :P

I'm curious now, mind sharing a cool pic you have of that aesthetic?

💖💖💖

It’s basically spooky forest vibes! And the bird in my profile pic is called a stellar’s jay, and like blue jays are corvids!

@jokesrighthandman hey I feel obligated to warn you Snake got a bazooka and a strong dislike of riddler, plus no self preservation. If your still working for him might wanna keep some distance for a while

I just remembered that time I got called cottagecore goth and in gives my autistic ass so much fucking serotonin.

What do boundaries feel like?

It is not my job to fix others.

It is okay if others get angry.

It is okay to say no.

It is not my job to take responsibility for others.

I do not have to anticipate the needs of others.

It is my job to make me happy.

No one has to agree with me.

I have a right to my own feelings.

I am enough.

When it’s hard to heal and break your family’s cycle of emotional abuse but you do it anyway because SOMEONE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN BLOODLINE HAS TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING

Just got back from a jail break, so I picked up some more.

So I took some wallets.

Long story short, who wants authentic GCPD police badges and ID’S

It is 11 pm

And I just got a phone call from the GCPD station. Y’all remember my old baseball team right?

Snake bit a police officer when asked to leave a protest. Skip and Homie managed to convince everyone they where all just high. And now I’m calling up Lucky and the gang to come help me break them out of the station early. So that’s how I’m spending my night. I’ll keep y’all updated.

Done and Done

So I took some wallets.

Long story short, who wants authentic GCPD police badges and ID’S

Don’t even THINK about flirting with me if your not willing to lie to the cops and break me out of jail. Not bail, like some wimp. BREAK.

✨that’s the point✨ but in the meantime I get free shit from gcpd cars and get stabbed once a week (Gotham central hospital night staff know me by name) and he gets to NOT deal with Batman. Seriously how has your grandpa NOT gotten the hell beaten out of him by lord emo yet?

Hey, @gothamradiokid could you tell you grandpa to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. I got woken up, at three in the GOD DAMN MORNING because MY NEIGHBOR FUCKED UP, AND HE SENT SOMEONE TO DEAL WITH IT. Tell him to do that at midday or some shit, some of us are sheltering highly reactive new mama dogs, and need at least 30 minutes of sleep.

Pumpkin pie is acceptable. But on god me and that man are gonna have words. Why can’t he use his power to overthrow corrupt politicians or somethin?

Hey, @gothamradiokid could you tell you grandpa to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. I got woken up, at three in the GOD DAMN MORNING because MY NEIGHBOR FUCKED UP, AND HE SENT SOMEONE TO DEAL WITH IT. Tell him to do that at midday or some shit, some of us are sheltering highly reactive new mama dogs, and need at least 30 minutes of sleep.