Batfamily Damn Good Ao3 Tags Pt.2

Gonna Reblog this every time I see it, don’t hate, love!

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

Homeless artists needs help!! Please consider buying a piece of art.

Six weeks ago I was evicted from my childhood home by my mother’s bankruptcy trustee. The eviction was very much against my mom’s will. My mom has had a number of health issues necessitating her being in an assisted care facility. At the time I was saving for an apartment. I never had quite enough to pay the deposit and first month’s rent. Since I’ve had to blow through all of it. I periodically have to contribute money to mom as she isn’t able to work. I have to pay her phone cell bills so we can talk. I often am too poor to get to the suburban neighborhood of the facility.

I book airbnbs for 4-7 days as I can afford. Without airbnbs I’d have nowhere to go. I don’t have family that would help. People I’ve known 18 years won’t even acknowledge a birthday text or a handpainted present.

A week ago my e-mail was hacked. The hacker used their control of my email to change all my passwords and steal all of the money I had for food, transportation, and shelter. I did get it sorted but still have not received any of my regular distributions from Etsy. I haven’t had one in well over 10 days because of that disgusting hacker. I have to get a new airbnb as my current booking is up tomorrow.

In addition to being hacked my mom had a breathing crisis. Being 5'11 112lbs, still recovering from viral pneumonia and crazy high pollen counts are a bad combination. I had to go be with her. She’s back at the rehab facility now with a prescription for an immunosuppressant.

I’m in a really desperate situation. I’ve set up a 40% off sale on etsy for purchases $50+. The sale coincides with Mother’s Day.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/KateHavekostFineArt

However it takes time for money to clear through etsy and then my bank. So for tumblr followers only I’m having another sale. I receive money via PayPal and Venmo instantly so

Sales can be paid via

paypal.me/KateHavekost

or

Venmo

Kate-Havekost

Thats a big as mood.

Reading this just made me mad as hell lmao

Not to sound like a 90s shallow prep, but how you dress can affect your self esteem, and putting energy into wearing things you actively like and projecting an ideal of yourself through fashion instead of seeing clothes as things you have to put on out of obligation helps.

It also can give you a sense of control over your appearance that you otherwise wouldn’t have lmao

This website will never cease to amaze me

Batfamily damn good ao3 tags

This is a list of ao3 tags about batfamily that I think deserve to be used more (semi-serious list)

Canon tags:

• Bruce Wayne's Love Language ('cause yes, we need it) • Cassandra Cain is a Wayne (Because I say so) • Bruce Wayne Gets a Hug (There are many gen fanfics with batkids being comforted but far less with Bruce. Let's give him hugs too.) • Crying Bruce Wayne (I used it once (1) time, it was good, I recommend it) • Damian Wayne Acts Like a Kid (Honestly one of my favorites) • Jason Todd Calls Bruce Wayne "Dad" (I'm just so weak for this tag) • Damian Wayne Has a Heart (he's a kid, stop treating him like a 2D hater murderer) • Batman Needs a Robin (DCU) (I just like this) • Tim Drake Lies to Bruce Wayne (it's a beautiful tag and you know it) • Bruce Wayne Adopts Cassandra Cain (There are like 10 fanfics with this tag. I object) • Stephanie Brown Disobeys Orders (do it for chaos or for angst) • Damian Wayne Tries to Be a Good Sibling (I'm weak for this too) • Evil Genius Tim Drake (just for fun) • Fashion Disaster Dick Grayson (I laughed so hard the first time I read this)

Fanon/not yet canon tags (tags that I have used or seen around on ao3 but that are not recognized as canonical tags):

• Bruce Wayne Adopts Duke Thomas (I will make this tag canon or die trying) • Confused Justice League (not really a batfamily tag but close) • Jason Todd and Damian Wayne escape the League of Assasins (I see this as a sort of subtag of "Jason Todd and Damian Wayne Meet in the League of Assassins" but we should make it a canonical tag) • DC stands for Disregard Canon (It makes me laugh and we use it a lot) • Stephanie Brown Swears (There is a canon tag for Jason's swearing but not for Steph? Unfair) • Sarcastic Stephanie Brown (I just need this to be canon) • Alfred Pennyworth Makes Mistakes (Don't hate me, you know what can happen)

Maybe I'll do a part two. Let me know if you want it <3

Do i need to add more??

Wait, I just realized english is not just a language for us to understand each other, but THERE are people using it unironically 

no one who speaks english as their first language is valid and that is the tea for today

RACISM BEING USED AS A TACTIC 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂