@ali-kaaaay @riotroast @littlemeangreen

does anyone else have the line - “the people of the underground deserve to breath” - permanently stuck in their head forever?

…cause i do and it’s eating me away

my mind comes up with a universe where vi stands behind caitlyn as she goes through her mother’s projects. and she has such an intense reaction to her trauma being replayed back to her.

like she gets terrified. she has to step back and force herself to see history through piltover’s eyes. how disgusting and painful it would feel to relive a half-realistic portrayal of the way her home fell apart because of poison and demons in masks. and then how those same things caused an argument in order to allow her friends and family to survive in the fissures they already had the curse of living in.

and the memory of her breathless mother doesn’t leave her head when caitlyn looks back.

excellent point!

i think it was such an important statement that vi was so consistently one of the only people who decidedly held onto jinx’s humanity. even if jinx wouldn’t, vi refused to give up on her. and, i think some people forget that part a little too easily.

and this moment in specific, you’re so right, because that belief had been slipping. (and i find it insulting that people don’t remember HOW FAR jinx had to go for vi to try and stop her)

and you worded it so well, because i was also held up on how much the painting doesn’t actually look like jinx. a part of me thought it looked more like powder.

vi came out of stillwater with only powder still alive in her head. then, it was cait and piltover’s villainous version. and then, she had this moment to consider that maybe both versions of her sister were still there. was jinx a good person? no, she’s an answer to the impossible equation of war and trauma. was she a monster? never in violet’s eyes.

she has always been the smart girl striving to prove herself.

something so raw about siblings, is that you love them even if they’ve made awful mistakes. you still want to protect them, because they’re a part of you. but, how do you protect that urge when people are dead?

i LOVE their sisterly relationship. no matter how dirty and warped it is. i love that, no matter what, they truly had each other’s backs when it mattered. even if one was out of the loop, the other was still looking out for her.

why can’t i just have them in one universe where they’re both happy and pranking each other??? 😭 why must they be so doomed!!

i saw a post with this scene the other day. ⬆️

a lot of people had commented this and that about their depictions of vi being jealous and shocked that jinx was up there with vander instead of herself.

and (as a troubled eldest daughter myself) that broke my heart a bit. although, i think it is realistic for vi to have shown a moment of vulnerability with the audience and then be ripped to pieces by individuals declaring it resentment and selfishness. no shade.

personally, i latched onto that tiny moment where her face falls. the animation of such a flicker of something akin to disappointment is astonishing.

i do think she’s seeing the mural for what it’s lacking. because it is lacking her. but, i think it has more to do with the fact that jinx and vander are there, but she’s not with them. not even necessarily including the political context. just the fact that even a random painting on a random wall lacked her presence just as much as real life.

she should have been right next to her little sister, but she wasn’t. she had both lost that choice, and then made the wrong one.

i can’t help but wonder if the years of being an imprisoned child so incredibly scared that she’d never get another chance for see her sister flashed before her eyes.

i think that mural shackled her to the fact that her world had continued on without her. and she wasn’t needed around to make it function anymore.

vander and their parents’ deaths had instilled in her that her sole purpose was to keep the earth spinning and to keep jinx safe. but, in the end, jinx had adapted. vi hadn’t.

lol

sorry for ranting! i could be entirely wrong, don’t take this to heart. it’s just what i took in and reflected on, and i wanted to share my thoughts. i find it so strangely comforting to see an oldest daughter go through so many punches and such heavy emotional strain and still keep her head up.

she’s so imperfect and i love her.

link to chapter one

jayvik au where jayce keeps getting sent back in time to fix what happens to viktor instead of killing him. (mage viktor met kid jayce, why couldn’t jayce just go back?? (and maybe i CAN think of a couple reasons why not, but i’m ignoring them))

so over and over again (similarly to ekko preventing jinx from pulling that pin) jayce is brought back to the day of the explosion in the councilors room.

it gets worse before it gets better. either jayce dies in the explosion because mel couldn’t get to him, or viktor gets upset with him because he abruptly cancels the meeting to bring peace to zaun and viktor just ends up growing more distant from him, or viktor dies anyway because he was getting sicker by the day before the explosion killed him, or viktor gets addicted to shimmer and bad things happen between that and the hexcore all over again (this specific outcome nearly makes jayce go insane, because he had been SO close before it all went to shit), or (most common) NOTHING he says will make viktor stop from leaving after using the hexcore to save him.

he. just. keeps. walking. out.

jayce can’t figure out why, but keeps trying. it’s incredibly debilitating watching your soulmate die dozens of times. but he keeps going, getting more and more desperate each time he wakes up to a new dying viktor.

it might be easier to have been brought back farther. before viktor’s collapse, before sky dies, before viktor was already fused with arcane and shimmer. before he’d made the mistake of choosing fame over his purpose. basically, before viktor started to realize that he was all alone. but who said changing fate was supposed to be easy?

what it comes down to is an au where jayce has to trial and error his way into getting the life back to viktor’s very destroyed soul in…like…three days. and he has to learn that he c— sorry i can’t say what the lesson would be! because that would be spoiling it!! you silly goose!!!

it’s basically a love story :D

bonus: (meljayvik bonus: because we know i love mel too much not to include her) she senses something going on through her empath powers. and at some point she’s unintentionally being dragged into it. power of teamwork to save their doomed dying partner!

Fuis Moi

Jayce Talis x Viktor - Arcane (League of Legends) - 1 Chapter - 36,806 Words

LINK IS HERE

tags for those of you that wanted a fic:

@missconchshell @lalluviadeanoche @assorted-fans @caraspud @neil-jortson @woefulstar @backseat-serenade-me @stitch-me-not @bicanthropus @evedaser @koffeinkaos @thetallwinchester @thebookgremlin00 @geronimooo @sweet-thoughtsof-insanity @smolavidreader @achaoticreaderslife @wolfeyedwitch @lazuliheightslep @justaz @sammythetoaster @pino-san13 @kidnappedbythefey @pastelcheckereddreams @arthursbubblebutt @merthurotica @captain-ozone @lizarin @i-have-passed-through-fire

there are so many of you!!! if i missed anyone, i’m sorry 😭

has anyone written a merlin au where arthur finds out balinor is merlin’s father, and that’s how he learns of merlin’s magic?

and i mean only arthur knows. merlin and balinor don’t have a clue.

like balinor starts to get through to arthur, telling him how he can still fix the mistakes that have been made. to do so he shares that he had to leave the love of his life in order to protect her and their son. he had to shield them from the dangers that the anti-magic propaganda had created for him. on the run from hunters who either felt entitled to use his power, or set him ablaze in cold blood.

he describes a town much like the one merlin brought him to once. the woman he speaks of falling in love with someone so similar to merlin’s mother that he sees it.

he notices how merlin and balinor laugh the same, ponder with furrowed brows the same, and how they prefer to eat with their hands instead of utensils.

he connects the dots with a flurry of nightmares. he realizes that merlin has magic in his blood and he’s terrified of what might happen if the truth gets out.

and when balinor dies, he yells in horror. not just because an innocent man was dead, but because it doomed merlin unfathomably. the one man he wouldn’t be able to hold back his own tears for.

and he couldn’t stand to break merlin’s heart with the news. so, when he eventually learns of merlin’s magic, he understands a little more what it takes to make someone lie for love.

cause if they have, let me know 🙏

edit: it seems i may write it myself lol

James knotted the rope as tight as he could. The fraying fibers cut into Peter’s shoulders like twine making a hay bale bulge, but he couldn’t help the urge to check that Harry was still asleep upstairs.

His eye twitched the longer it was trained on Peter’s pale, sweaty face. And his fists clenched tightly around the wands in each hand. He didn’t miss the way grey eyes flickered down to ebony wood. He was scared, James realized with a bit of a start. He was shaking in the chair like a cornered animal.

His sandy hair was choppy, like someone had taken shears to it as a punishment. His face was breaking out, splotches of red like hives throughout his skin. His teeth were yellowing, and his nails were caked in dirt and overgrown.

He began to cry, and James’ curiosity quickly changed to fury.

“What are you weeping about?” he demanded, watching his volume. Peter wailed, only stopping when he bowed his head at James’ pointed wand at his nose.

“I’m sorry!” he stammered through each syllable.

James thought of Snape and Regulus answering vaguely whenever he asked about Peter. Saying he was serving Voldemort from one manor to the next. Staying hidden for the sake of keeping Sirius locked away. He briefly wondered if they’d held back more information to spare him the feeing he had in that moment.

Lily’s face appeared in front of him, the walls of their old home like blurry shadows behind her. He didn’t hear anything when her mouth moved, but he recognized the terror in her eyes. The tears that had fallen as she’d said goodbye.

“How could you do it?” he asked, hollow to Peter’s wide, fretful eyes.

“He made me,” Peter pleaded. The fingers of his left hand wriggled. “He made me vow to serve him until my death.” He shivered, as if the memory he’d conjured up made him weary. James felt like he was back in front of the television. “An unbreakable vow.”

James felt his heart break. It caught him off guard, and he sought to figure how it could have splintered even more. Instead, he stuffed a cloth napkin in Peter’s flapping mouth.

“I hadn’t asked you to do so much,” he waved his wand and watched as thin strings of silvery magic wrapped around Peter like cords of wire. He looked his betrayer in the eye, “Funny how you’ve made everything worse for yourself just on your own.”

He heard light taps above them, signaling his son’s rise.

the “fic” mentioned in the tags

now that i’ve acclimated back into my fandoms, i’ve officially dusted off my discord as well!! (lol)

by which i mean i made an entirely new one.

if anyone has any fun little servers to recommend, or if anyone is interested enough in my stuff to talk about what atrocities i’ve already created, add me or let me know please!! i’ve decided to give being social a try 😔 instead of lurking in the shadows and dropping random seeds.

either way, here’s my discord >:) if you see this and you’re waiting for me to update one of my fics, i swear i’m not procrastinating 😀

i’ll be playing update roulette

Ok I read this amazing fic yesterday (basically a sorta rewrite/canon divergence) by @gardezamour and it gave me a burst of inspiration regarding Viktor's codename in my crossover AU with P5R as in this, he goes by "Canary" along with Powder's "Jinx" (she kinda doesn't become Jinx tho at the same time) and it actually dawned on me that canaries were used in mines and Zuan had such! Yeah... I was a little slow there... But anyhow! Read it! It's so good guys!!! 😍

Tho idk if it's final or maybe a variant of the word will be considered because aaaaa it's too good so I tip my hat to you author! It's also inspiring HCs in my brain too so there's that at least if anything! ^_^

thank you for your input!! i’m so happy to see that someone else wants james to be utterly pissed at the order’s shortcomings. because i’m still mad that dumbledore and snape knew voldemort was close, and they didn’t go the extra mile to protect them. it genuinely makes my eye twitch.

and i definitely don’t think i’ll be making james involved with anyone. at least not for a long time. i find it impossible for him to get over lily for at least a few decades. i’ll be keeping her ghost very close to him.

as for the order.

james hides away in london. he keeps an eye on the dursley’s for lily’s sake, makes sure death eaters don’t kill them. since it’d just be another bucket load of guilt weighing down the slab on his shoulders anyway.

harry grows up a quiet kid. he doesn’t talk much because he doesn’t have many people to talk to. and he and james rarely have to verbally communicate what they need. he loves dessert like his father, but hates lemon like his mother. he loves to fly around the house on james’ old broom once he grows big enough to hold it upright. james does not approve of it. he watches the cartoons that sirius loved, and the late night comedy shows that remus would change it to.

the hardest part for him was realizing that the last bit of mischief he’d held onto before, was gone. he was anxious and miserable. he pathetically joked that it was karma for the pranks he sprung on his own parents.

snape brought him messages from dumbledore, and allowances from gringgotts. and regulus kept coming because sometimes severus and james got too upset. and even though, one day, they’d both end up crying in each others arms, he’d keep tagging along anyway.

at first, james only let them in because a selfish side of him loved the way severus read books like lily. and he loved watching the way regulus wore rings like sirius, and ate too much chocolate like remus. he loved how to two of them cracked smiles at the jokes he rarely made, even if they weren’t that good.

eventually, voldemort goes into hiding. james hears that it was because he was almost arrested by some nameless auror from one person. but, another swore that it was because he’s grown scared of the new minister of magic.

james believed neither. but he considered checking on what was left of the order, seeking answers to questions he knew would only make him despise his naive self even more.

also, here’s chapter one lololol

@ravishinglavishingluvr (just in case you were interested as well)

harry potter au where james is still alive, but lily still sacrificed herself.

i’m thinking she had her wand, james didn’t, she made him take harry and run. and she was so infuriated and frightening, that james listened to her, praying to the whole universe that she would make it out alive. they had their final, desperate kiss. and then she was running towards the explosion at their doorstep.

he ran into the darkness, grabbing his broom and sobbing with his sleeping son in his arms as blue and green lights flashed through their windows. he took off and forced himself not to look back. because he would’ve ruined everything if he had.

he made it somewhere over the ocean, looking over dark waves as the sun rose again. he was freezing, but harry was watching him silently from his blanket. they were still in their pajamas. harry had always loved their broom rides, but he didn’t giggle like he usually did.

they eventually go into hiding. he reads about lily’s death through the paper, dealing with the grief on his own.

he reads about sirius’ arrest, and peters death. then, he reads about voldemort slowly taking over the ministry one department at a time. making it harder and harder for muggle born witches and wizards to come and go. then, it’s remus’ arrest after killing fenrir greyback in a blind fit of werewolf bloodlust.

he grieves again, because he’s truly alone.

while out shopping, polyjuice potion disguising him as he sorts through produce, he catches a cat watching him from the stoop of the small store. then, a familiar nose that makes him grab his son. then, a rippled vision of his best friend.

he pays five minutes later, because harry was much too thin to go a day without good food. and he tries to run. but, he’s quickly caught, and the flurry of spells he tries to send at the men are deflected with awful, sympathetic grimaces.

he doesn’t relent until the cat finally transforms, a cold hand patting his cheek as his favorite professor pulls him into a tight embrace.

it takes possibly too much convincing, but eventually he’s making them chai, and keeping harry protectively close. they ask him to rejoin the order, to let them protect him. protect harry.

he screamed at them, only catching himself haphazardly when harry began to cry. but he’d been so full of wrath as they spoke, like he hadn’t experienced the torture of own failure. like everyone he’d ever loved wasn’t gone.

all, except his son. he wouldn’t allow the order to fail them a second time.

he’d never seen severus or regulus look so defeated. like he was someone they cared about, and they weren’t sure how to comfort him. like they were friends. he bluntly reminded them that his friends were as good as dead. minerva teared up.

he packed everything up with a rushed spell, and took harry away with the three of them still sitting behind steaming mugs.

he took to teaching harry everything he could. going through old books that his own parents had collected. some of his own from school, which held idiotic notes that he’d cry over late at night.

a few months after harry had turned five, it was severus (of all people) who found them again.

lol. this got too long and i’m still thinking about how the plot would go. i’ll possibly post more parts as i think of them. i already know if or when i do write this as a proper fic, it’ll be long. i crave james angst i fear. possible ship recommendations would be appreciated for consideration. i don’t promise anything, but romance can make things so much more tragic 🤭

new thoughts for this post

i really want to do an alternating chapter fic.

i’ve already started said fic here.

and it starts with james escaping with harry, and kickstarting an au where harry grows up with his father while voldemort survives halloween night.

BUT

imagine if the even numbered chapters were an au where lily survives. she doesn’t flee upstairs, she RUNS. she takes her son and she doesn’t look back. she thinks james is behind her, but eventually realizes that it was peter chasing her.

and, basically, at the end, the au’s connect in some way. in as close to a happy ending as possible (😬). i don’t want to spoil everything i have planned so far. but i’m so excited lolol.

just— two alternative universes where both parents are single handedly trying to raise their son in a failed world. trying to stay alive when every corner they turn could be the end.

i love them :,) tragically