I Really Like How The Little Mermaid (2023) Took Ariel's Longing In The Original And Intensified It,

m-miss you dropped your shuriken 😳😳

I refuse to spend more time on this, his jacket is so ugly

*TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of su*c*d*l ideations and feelings and depression.*

Saturday, Oct. 22nd, 2022

7:27pm

Dear Me,

This is Day 5 of my New York chapter, and I don’t feel whole. I’ve been struggling with my depression since the beginning of September and I’ve slowly been losing my perception of myself and the feeling of being alive and real. I was feeling extremely suicidal and lost my will to keep living; my reasons to keep living and to not view my death as my only escape and release.

I went to the Wesley Woods facility to receive more intensive care and to follow through with my obligation of surviving for the people who love me. It was an awful experience, filled with constantly masking, suffering with little help, and lies. I left that facility feeling numb, confused, hurt, betrayed, and like nothing but everything changed. Then, being confronted with leaving Emory U. to go to New York to look for better, proper treatment was earth-shattering. I feel fractured a thousand times over, hurt beyond my bones, and drained of my entire being. I pushed and pushed with urgency to file the medical leave with such disingenuous people because I wanted a change immediately. It just exacerbated everything and left me feeling empty and hollow. Not human, just a shell with no direction.

I left Emory feeling heartbroken and empty (with one friend lost), and arrived in New York feeling unstable, spaced, and unmotivated. I feel completely lost in space and time, and I can’t bring myself to feel positive or negative about this change. I can’t even say what I want right now, I’m just repeating things from months ago. It’s frustrating and disappointing. I feel defeated and I don’t have a genuine reason to keep going.

After being here in New York for 5 days, the answers that I’ve been searching for and desiring have still not come. I feel like my mind is taking up too much space, while also being microscopically small. I’m exhausted and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. My sister and her girlfriend have put in all this money and time because they love me and want to support me, but I don’t even understand what this love feels like… I wish that I could take what they have been saying to me and feel it deep in my bones that it’s true and that it holds meaning, but it feels just as empty as I do. They and my friends have done so much for me, but I’m struggling to see the path and end goal. I don’t feel worth it or that I deserve their worries and effort because I don’t feel it for myself. I wish things were different…

Part 2 Part 3

Some union basics:

1. Striking is the LAST RESORT. If a union is at the place where a strike is being proposed it is because they have been bargaining for a long time and exhausted all their other options.

2. Before a strike happens, all the members vote. Everyone is very aware of the status of negotiations long before they’re made public. But if a strike is occurring it’s because an overwhelming majority voted to strike—you want almost everyone in the union to agree before you take such a huge step.

3. Strikes are difficult but necessary demonstrations of workers’ collective power. The hope is that your labor is so essential that the bosses lost profits will make them come back to the bargaining table. The bosses are hoping that the workers will starve to death.

4. Working during a strike is called scabbing. Coming in from an outside industry to do work during a strike is sometimes called crossing the picket line. Both send you straight to hell.

It’s taking a lot of effort to not block anyone tagging my art as q slur.

It sounds like a lot of you might might need to learn some queer history. Which is fine - there is no shame in learning our history. We don’t get taught it- you have to go and specifically look for it.

It’s also important to note- Every single lgbtqia+ community label has been thrown back at us as slur. There isn’t a single one that homophobic, transphobic people haven’t used in a derogatory way. If we collectively decided to call ourselves Humans as our only lgbtqia+ label - no doubt there would be hateful people screaming back at us. Those types of people hate us - and no matter how sanitized, and pure - and free from any stigma you present your queer self - they will still hate us.

Queer was strategically chosen as an umbrella term during the protests in the late 1980 & 90s. If you’re not aware of the AIDS crisis- please learn about it. It was brutal -and the disgusting response from the government, conservatives, religious extremists was - they were happy that it was happening. They let hundreds of thousands of queer people die because they thought we deserved it. It was a truly horrific medical emergency that was purposefully ignored for many years.

So “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re not going to disappear.” became one of the slogans people would yell during marches and protests.

Queer was chosen because it wasn’t sterilized, sanitized, it was an assimilated, quiet version of being lgbtqia+. It was fucking in your face queer.

You couldn’t ignore it- we weren’t going to hide away in shame, or keep things wrapped up in secret like previous generations. Homophobic , transphobic people had to deal with the fact that queer people existed- and would always exist & there was nothing they could do or say to change that.

Because that’s exactly what they wanted. They wanted assimilation, or total nonexistence of all queer people. And unfortunately they still do.

Which is why seeing “the q slur” is so messed up. It’s giving that sanitized, reagan administration evangelical morality - homophobic, transphobic people everything they had hoped for. A fear based response of - if I make make myself as palatable as possible will you finally respect me?

Here is an amazing photo by Dan Nicolette that I think encapsulates that idea of what queer meant. I’m not going disappear, make myself easier for you homophobes to digest.

this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted

Buck, drunk: What’s the word for when your hands are bisexual? Eddie: Do you mean ambidextrous? Buck: I’m in love with you.

I’ve gained some new followers lately, and over the last few days, I’ve been thinking about being more active on this page. I honestly started this page to occasionally post some of my journal writing as a way to connect with people that I will never meet. Just to have something that will mean something more than what I was feeling in the moment.

I think I’ll continue doing that more often now, but not with the idea of doing it to “connect with others”. I want to truly do it for myself and to make content that is real and if people read it, they can relate or feel inspired by it. I think this is great way for me to pour into something that brightens my life more. So engage if you like, and if you don’t, that’s fine too! Cheers to 2023! 🎉

I hope everyone is having a wonderful beginning of pride month! This is my first pride since coming out and I'd like to share a little bit of my own perspective this pride.

I'm 22 and I only came out a few months ago. I've been super lucky and all of my friends and family have been super accepting. The worst part about coming out has just been me.

My whole life I thought I was straight, I didn't have many crushes (see later learning about demisexuality as well) and any that I did have were very normal cis guys from school. I never had any reason to think I wasn't straight and that was perfectly ok.

My friend group has always leaned on the queerer side. Most of them were out by the time we graduated high school or shortly after and all of them talked about how they always knew that it was always there.

I've known what pansexual is since I was 14 and I'd never thought of it as a label for me, people were pretty but that was it to me, I liked guys.

There's a guilt you feel sometimes when you come out later than your peers. Whether it be like me and you're still young or years down the line. You're still just as valid but there's that part of you that feels guilty for not knowing sooner.

It's my first pride and I feel guilty.

I feel guilty because every year before now pride was for my friends with me as the respectful ally following their lead. I've never even gone to a pride parade, always seeing that as something they got to do, something they deserved to do and I didn't want to intrude.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.

I hope one day there's a part of me that doesn't feel like I'm just faking these feelings so I can be included, that it's ok I didn't always know but for now there is.

I'm grateful to everyone celebrating pride with me this year, my partner, my friends both here and out in the world and my family.

Thank you for reminding me I'm valid even when I can't always see it.

Happy pride everyone, especially if this is your first one.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜