There Are No Villains On This Island, And There Is No War In Ba-Sing-Se.

We were cleaning the python's tank and I was holding him, and he went up my shirt, and needless to say, snake in boobs.

Wh

What?

is your comfort character also a sad pretty boy with trauma and questionable morals or are you normal

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

*learns basic social skills well into my 20s that most people know by the time theyre like 11*

OH MY GOD??? BELOVED NIGHTMARES UPON ME??? I AM GOING TO USE THIS TO MAKE MY DND PLAYERS CRY???

This is the wrong season to be talking about it, but literally no adaptation of Christmas Carol will ever top this one stage adaptation I saw in 2018, and it’s 100% because of the first scene of the play

Almost every Christmas Carol starts with the same scene: Christmas Eve, the day before Scrooge is visited by the three ghosts. This is the same scene that the rest of the audience - including myself - is expecting to see

The house lights go out. The stage is dark

A boy is singing: “God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay…”

The sound of wind whistles through the dark of the theater.

“Remember Christ our savior was born on Christmas day, to save us all from Satan’s power…”

The boy pauses. The wind picks up. Somewhere in the audience, a child sounds upset

“…When we had gone astray. Oh tidings…”

The boy’s voice fades away. The wind howls

A church bell rings

The stage lights come on. Fog is floating across the stage. A deacon, two gentlemen, and Scrooge stand in the fog like islands in a sea

Between them is a coffin

The wind howls. It makes the word, “Ebenezer,” in a voice that shakes the floor

The deacon says: “Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God to take unto himself the soul of our departed Jacob Marley…”

“Ebenezer,” says the wind

Scrooge whips around at the sound. Fog coils around his feet

Nobody else on stage hears his name

“…We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth-”

“Earth,” says the wind

“-ashes to ashes-”

“Ashes,” says the wind

“-and dust to dust”

“Dust” says the wind

“In the certain hope of eternal life through our Lord Christ; who shall change-”

“Change” says the wind

“-our vile body-”

“Change” says the wind

“-that it may be like unto His glorious body-”

“Change” says the wind

A church bell rings. Children are crying in the audience

One by one, the parishioners exit the stage. Scrooge is left alone with the coffin

He says a few words - laughs at his mishearing voices on the wind - and turns to leave

A church bell rings

Scrooge pauses - and turns to look at the coffin

Lights flash. The coffin lid slams open, and the ghost of Jacob Marley, horrible, pale, and screeching, leaps out of the coffin, hands reaching out to Scrooge and howling - 

“SAVE YOURSELF!”

Lights flash and the stage goes dark. Children are screaming. Parents are screaming. I’m screaming

The rest of the production was gorgeous, but I still maintain that the first scene was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen attached to any adaptation of Christmas Carol

Once in highschool I lent a girl two dollars.

Once, in highschool, I lent a girl two dollars and then she moved away.

Can we get...??? The screen cap??? Or???

coupled with like. you know how in mandy there’s that scene where she walks out of the water and he looks at her through the fire and the only look we get at her is from the neck up and she looks like this gaunt and kind of grotesque and incredibly beautiful otherwordly thing with one enormous throbbing eye. and you’re like oh he loves her.

Absolutely.

What an amazing spell!  Would you cast it? 

You ever think about ancient inventions that may no longer actively be used, but which were so geniously designed that technically speaking, they still work?

Consider that old historical monk haircut. The tonsure looks like that on purpose, to keep them humble and away from temptations of sin. And it still works exactly as intended. Do you guys have any idea how much gay porn there would be of medieval monastery dudes knowing each other biblically if their haircuts were not so unfathomably unsexy.