Tw: Death - Blog Posts

I'm still here.

I've just been going through a lot. Grandparent passed, another in hospice, not being able to do my classwork, and finals week.

It's just a lot.

But I'm still here, hopefully, I can draw some fanart soon.

Love is a Fragile Dance- Song Fic

Authors notes: Okay! I’ve never written a song fic before but I figured it would be fun! But please be cautious because this has some possibly triggering topics (De//th, car crash, dr//nking)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He's three drinks down and he's driving fast He's calling her up, but she took a cab

Saeyoung was furious. He was never one for drinking, but he couldn't handle another day like this. To make matters worse he couldn't believe she'd just leave him like that. He knew she knew how hard this time was for him, it'd been so long since he'd seen his brother, and today would be another painful anniversary of that day.

Back to their one room apartment Back to where it all started

The only place she knew in this town was the apartment from not-so long ago. Rika's apartment. He sped up, hoping to catch her before she did something she'd regret. He knew she had nowhere else to go but that God-forsaken apartment. He should've destroyed it the minute she left to live with him, he thought.

Walking up to the doorway Walking in just to realize She was long gone 'fore he got there Broken glass in the bathroom

His heart raced, and he avoided the glass shards that littered the floor. Whether she'd acted in outrage or the hacker got his hands on her, he didn't know, but he wouldn't let that mystery go unsolved for long. He couldn't let her go. Couldn't let her get hurt because of him. Not anymore.

Love is such a fragile dance This love is such a fragile dance

Sometimes he wondered if it was even worth it to keep her in his life. He felt like she only stayed with him because of his threat about the bomb. This argument proved it, he figured. If she would run off any chance they argue, maybe she never wanted to be here in the first place. But he was too selfish to let her go.

She's wondering if she was right to Leave before they got that Chance to talk it all over In a text message he wrote her

The arguments were too much. She would be lying if she said she wasn't scared. The hacker was after them, Saeyoung just got more and more closed off and angry with her. She needed to escape from all of the stress. But was it the right thing to do? Should she have just stayed and let him get everything off his chest? He was stressed, he was scared. But he only hurt her, pushing her away; the more he insisted any closeness would do it first. Even his texts were passive aggressive.

"Love is such a fragile dance Our love is such a fragile dance"

Constant reminders. They weren't supposed to fall in love, yet even after confessing, they still walked a thin wire trying to "make it work". They pretended well.

And no one knew that they were on the edge Cause life is short and love is sweet, so love until you're dead

The RFA members had no clue. Flirts in the chatroom, but never aloud; and loving words that never surfaced in reality. They thought everything was fine.

And no one knew that they were on the edge Cause life is short and love is sweet, so love until you're dead

The façade was cracking but lies came easy to him. Acting became her everyday skill. Nobody could know. But truth be told, she knew they were running out of time to make it work. She knew it could all be gone in an instant.

He's three drinks down and he's driving fast She's calling him back now he's reaching

Finally, they could talk. Finally they could work this out. Maybe they could save their relationship. Maybe they can make this work, and take it all back.

Car tires are screeching Car horns are screaming

He wanted to try, for her. He said he'd die for her.

He's wondering if he was right to Pick a fight just to argue

He just wanted to prove that she didn't really love him. He never wanted any of this to happen.

But he can't take it back now The last message he sent out Life is such a fragile dance This life was such a fragile dance

Tears spilled onto her screen. Her call unanswered, his texts, the last words.  He seemed to know. And yet, he couldn't stop it. She could never take back what she'd said. But did he know what was important? Did he know she never hated him?

Love is such a fragile dance Their love was such a fragile dance And no one knew that they were on the edge

Now he'd never know. She could never tell him. It was all her fault, and she couldn't tell him. She would live with this burden, this secret. They could never know they were struggling. They could never know she was the reason his beloved car became nothing more than rubble, and he- a memory.

Cause life is short and love is sweet so love until you're dead And no one knew that they were on the edge Cause life is short and love is sweet so love until you're dead

They never could vow "Till death do us part". They never would've meant this soon.

She's three drinks down and she's crying

Three down. Just like him. He knew better, and still he went driving. Why? Why hadn't she stopped him?

No fight is worth fighting

She was angry. Of course she wouldn't stop him.

No fight is worth dying

But she should've.

But all love is worth fighting for

He was going to see her. He was trying to explain, to change. He wanted to keep her safe, yet she still ran. She killed him. If she hadn't left him there...

And no one knew that they were on the edge Cause life is short and love is sweet so love until you're dead And no one knew that they were on the edge Cause life is short and love is sweet so love until you're dead So love until you're dead So love until you're dead

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

Subject: RAPTOR

Nomu!Hawks x Reader (NSFW)

This GIANT is the lovechild of this amazing fanart and this ask:

I twisted the shizznit out of that ask, but the inspiration is still there. A thank you to anyone who makes it through this very long ride.

This fic does takes some liberties in the creation of nomu. Some factors will deviate from canon.

Words: 20k+

You can also read this long-ass story on AO3 if that’s more comfortable.

Heed these warnings: Blood and Death, Teratophilia/Monster-Fucking, Breeding, Mutant Genitalia, Unethical Experimentation, Mutilation, lots of handjobs and cum, LOTS of long tongue action and I’m ashamed, Brief Suicide Ideation, and Shitty Science

——–x——–

Fertile nomu were the greatest breakthrough that the villains could ever hope for. Breeding saves so much time and resources, as opposed to artificially creating each specimen from scratch. There were two major “programs”, as these sick bastards insist on calling them. 

The Mating Program, where the nomu were paired together, one with male sexual organs and the other with those of a female, though there was also the occasional subject that managed to possess both. It was an unpredictable process; miscarriages were common, sometimes the offspring dies minutes after birth, or the fetus develops too rapidly inside the womb and the birth becomes a violent bursting out of the parent’s body. Weaker nomu, usually the ones incapable of rapid regeneration, have been killed from such incidents. “What a waste,” those bastards in lab coats would say.

And then there was the Milking Program, in which semen was collected to later be frozen or artificially inserted into ‘other creatures’. Yeah, they say it as if ninety percent of those creatures weren’t humans.

You were an unwilling member of the latter program, but the assholes sure did love making it sound like they were doing you a favor.

Keep reading

do you have a hunch about how you'll die?

Probably by a car or falling from off a high place. I don't know why but whenever I think about dying I just know it's one of those two options

ali + sang-woo | "i'm your man" - mitski

just so you know, people

this is, by far, my most favourite post

it hits me every time i read it

and i love it

thanks for your attention

Dinner Is Not Over

So y'all know the game What Remains of Edith Finch, yeah? It gets me sad every time :[

So, as a survey, who's death hits y'all in the feels the most upon watching/playing through? Btw I'm using the Fandom Wiki to get all the names and stuff, and I'm also not including Ingeborg, Johann, Odin, Sven, or Sanjay cuz they're somewhat precursors to the game/not explicitly played through or seen in detail by the player

Rest In Peace Lance Reddick, you and your work mean so much to countless people.

We salute you Commander.

I’m so fucked up right now

Gods, I’m not even sure what to say.

Technoblade made me smile, made me laugh, inspired me, and brought me comfort, all with his videos.

I’m so grateful for what Technoblade has done for us. We love you, man, rest easy.

Technoblade never dies, through us he lives on

A very rough comic continuation of this

Context, this is a late redemption au of Hunter where certain canon events don’t happen. This is shortly after Belos death. Hunter has his possession scars because it played out in a much different way. Sadly this also means very slow burn pittwins siblings :(

BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS

One thing I like the most about Bill is that he’s an unreliable narrator. He’s a liar

His dimension is flat but he can see 3d. In the show he claims that everything was flat. Flat minds, flat dreams and that he “liberated” his world. Which we know now was him destroying it. This paints him as a cold killer but yet in the book it is stated he misses home and can’t return but that he’s happy, but that he’s a lair. (Stated by axolotl, a being older and more powerful than him)in the book, it also states that everyone loved him in his dimension but that may also be a lie. He may have been ostracized and looked down on for his mutation, except we know his mother loved him. Him wanting to show what he saw to his race led to him burning down his dimension. It was an accident I believe, that there was no malicious intent , just him wanting to show others what he saw. He wanted to show them the stars. But he went too far. think he caused a some sort of rift that sort of just decimated his dimension or his powers going haywire and reduced it to atoms. It’s stated he was left covered in blood.

I’m pretty sure he’s blocking memories. I think the trauma of destroying his dimension left him cold and allowed him and his morals become skewed.He only became worse as he traveled realms and into the nightmare realm and became obsessed with chaos. He and his awful being and it’s good that he’s locked away in therapy prison.

I like that’s he’s a crazy irredeemable person with such tragic backstory. I’m curious about his history and what led him to be the way that he is. He’s trillions years old so who knows what else he been through. I doubt he’s always been this all powerful dream demon. I think he’s tries to paint himself as this being who was always evil but I don’t think he was like that. (He literally blacks out when he thinks about it too much, it’s easier to lie and say it was on purpose and that he’s just evil)

Yes he’s Bill Cipher, a dream demon no one should trust but once he was just Billy who liked his sandwiches with no crust.

Miasma

Statement of Hannah Dean, regarding a sick patient she took care of. Original statement given August 12th, 20XX. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute.

Statement begins.

My name is Hannah Dean, I work as a doctor at Pearl Garden Hospital. Let’s just get right to it. I don’t know when she was admitted into the hospital, where she came from, who her parents were, nothing. All I knew was that I was to be taking care of her. When I first entered her room, she was sat in her cot and stared right at me. She looked to be around, 13 or 14 years old? Had greasy hair and old bandages around her arms and legs. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice how everything was so… dirty, at first. The walls were stained, the floor was grotty, and the patient herself was overall, filthy. I walked over to her nonetheless and introduced myself, like I always did. I tried to run a few checkups on her, but as soon as I got close I felt a wave of sickness… emanate from her, somehow. I immediately stepped back, and that sickly feeling went away.

Have you ever heard of the Miasma theory? Where diseases are supposedly caused by bad air and such? This patient—I’m not sure how else to explain this. She had… bad air. There was like an invisible ball of gaseous sickness all around her. It made me want to puke. She gazed up at me with an innocent and confused look, and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I went back to do a physical exam on her, checking her skin and eyes, looking into her throat and ears, checking her pulse, the usual. It was hard to focus though, the awful feeling of nausea and illness ruminating off of her and right back at me. She was in a rough shape from the looks of it, she could’ve be suffering from a myriad of things. I figured I’d prescribe some acetaminophen, so I told her I would be back, and left the hospital room.

When I exited, I instantly noticed the change in air quality. It was so much more fresh and breathable outside of the patient’s room, despite still being in a building with what should’ve been the same conditions. That’s when I realized the difference in cleanliness as well, the halls had a scent of rubbing alcohol and chlorine, but her room… honestly, was foul. I went to grab the medicine for her when a friend of mine and also fellow co-worker, Wendy Lovett, bumped into me. She was surprised to see me and said that I looked unwell. I didn’t know what she was talking about until she showed me with her phone. I looked like I had a cold or something, but it wasn’t that serious, could just be the long hours getting to me. I mentioned I was getting some medicine for the patient in room 43, but Wendy looked more concerned for me. She told me there wasn’t a patient in room 43. I said that there definitely was one, and that she could come with me to take care of the patient if she really didn’t believe me.

We came back to the patient and Wendy wrinkled her nose as she entered. The patient still sat on that cot. I poured one chewable tablet of the medicine in my hand and instructed her how to take it. I’m not sure why, but she looked a little disappointed when she took it. Wendy walked over to the patient and I could see her face shift from mild disgust to utter repulsion. She must have gotten a little close and experienced that… bad air. Once the patient was done, I gave her a glass of water and Wendy practically dragged me out. She shut the door to the room and told me that patient was not normal. It was hard to disagree with Wendy, there was something strange about her and we both felt sick after being around her. We agreed that I would give the responsibility of taking care of this patient to someone else, probably more capable of dealing with sicker patients. The next day, I asked another doctor, Vincent Roussel, if he could handle the patient for me, as I was feeling ill. He begrudgingly agreed, and I stayed home.

I came back to work feeling much better after that, but I couldn’t help but notice Vincent looked really bad. His usually kept hair was a mess, he had stains all over his shirt, and his glasses were smudged and crooked. I asked if he was okay. Vincent glared at me and told me he was just fine, but judging from his cough and sniffly nose, he was not. I didn’t see him for the rest of the day, until I walked past room 43 nearing the end of my shift, the door slightly askew. Curiosity got the better of me, and I took a little peak inside. The room looked a lot dirtier than I remember, now with insects crawling and flying around the walls and floors. Vincent was now lying in the cot and he looked like a corpse, but he was still alive, the shaky rise and fall of his chest showed that. The patient stood beside the cot, remarkably looking a whole lot healthier, with her hand on Vincent’s shoulder. I think she was saying or whispering things, but I couldn’t hear what. I… I quickly left after seeing that.

Vincent was found dead in the hospital a few days later. The police haven’t found anything about what could have caused his death. I’ve only told Wendy about seeing the patient with Vincent so far, since I doubt the police would find the information helpful. We’ve both been avoiding room 43, even though it’s probably perfectly normal and clean now. That patient… I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since. I hope I never do.

Statement ends.