Javier Pena X Reader - Blog Posts

Pedro Pascal characters realizing they love you <3

♥Characters: Various Pedro Pascal Characters x Reader

 RATING: Pure Fluff :)

WARNINGS: Y/N who? only MC. like only 2 cuss words. Let me know if there are some other things I miss :)

Din Djarin

He realizes this when Omera introduces him to her sibling, MC. Grogu LOVED you. While Grogu went to play with the other kids in the villiage, Din would spend his time thinking over his emotions with you. He would try his best and try and talk to you but it would just turn awkward. After you started talking to him more, you felt comfortable telling about your dreams and inspirations. You wanted to leave your planet and travel across the galaxies. Once you told him that he knew,

something had to happen between you two.

Javier Peña

You were included in a meeting when he first saw you. He didn’t go head-over-heels as soon as he saw you. Matter of fact, he didn’t think much of you he just thought you were interesting. When he actually met you face-to-face was when they were on a mssion. You both talked a bit but not that much. He decided he would ask you to come to his office to help him figure the investigation out with him. Of course you said yes! Who wouldn’t take up the offer to chat with a VERY handsome dude? You were trying to connect the dots with the homicides and the killer and that’s when it happened. In his prespective you looked adorable and he loved your detirmened personality. Ever since then he’s been questioning his feeling torwards you. He would ask you for another investigation session. He would keep asking you till it became a routine. In his prespective he thought it was a phase and that this feeling would just go away.

Boy was he wrong.

Dieter Bravo

Dieter met you after quarintine. He thought you were pretty cool for someone who was new to the Cliff Beasts franchise.You and him started talking more and became good friends. You were a very monotone and calm person for someone to be friends with the overly eccentric and confusing man. He knew he fell in love with you as soon as he felt that spark ignite when he shook your hand. Everyone else knew that you being the smart and calm person you are wouldn’t know Dieter liked you, was total bullshit. The fact you were VERY oblivious to the fact that Dieter liked you was shit-sticks to them. And if you found out, 

he would literally stay in his room for HOURS.

he is so getaway car and don’t blame me coded

desperately in need of a brown eyed mustached agent named javier

when you want him to choke you headcanons

note — NSFW. this bitch is kinky. obviously. lost of choking references, a little breathplay at the end there. all of the boys are willing in one way or another because pedro plays them, alright?? i believe in my heart that that man is kinky as hell. good morning and good night. happy superbowl. fuck you tom brady. big love to every one else besides tom brady <3

warnings: choking, penetrative sex, breathplay

MANDO

- is stunned

- you want him... to do what??

- excuse me??

- choke you?? like, with his hands??

- in the heat of the moment you guide his huge, bare hand to the softness of your throat

- he can feel the vibrations of your whimpers against the webbing of his hand and he almost blows his load right then and there

- the idea that he can wreck you like that gets him excited

- the first few times it gets his adrenaline pumping, but then he really starts to want to get closer to you, pull you in closer, fuck you on his lap in the cockpit while the baby naps in the pod

- he finds it interesting, all of these kinks, and never gets bored of them, but he's a simple man

- he's just glad you want to share these experiences with him and provide such a stable source of pleasure for him in his life that used to be so devoid of it

EZRA

- finds it quite hard to choke you with one hand, but willing to oblige you

- he's afraid of putting too much weight on your neck, so he refuses to do it in any position where he doesn't have much control

- but he ends up getting really into it

- he finds it so arousing, the dubious nature of it

- he likes the idea of being so in control of you, being able to control your breaths, your breathing

- he quite literally has your life in his hands, and it gets him rock hard

- he likes to control your moans, cut them off with his hand while you're riding him, pretending like you two have to be quiet

- will definitely ask you to let him do it again sometime

FRANKIE

- frankie is a little taken aback when you ask

- but you're so needy, mewling and whimpering underneath him

- he squeezes your jaw hard, and presses his mouth to it

- his husky voice reverberates against your nerves, and his lips move passionately across your skin before his hand moves to tilt your head up for better access

- it's like he can read your mind

- just the right pressure, just the right grasp, and can easily read when it starts to become uncomfortable

- he loves the way you anchor yourself to him by grabbing his wrist, pushing him in closer and pulling him back when it becomes too much

- communication is super important for him, so being able to gauge when he's getting too into it and what kinds of pressure you like are vital

- he loves the way you moan when he does it, so eventually, he's going to ask you to do it to him as well

WHISKEY

- a bit more vanilla than you'd expect from someone so forward, but is interested in this particular kink you have

- he'll trace the shell of your ear with his fingers, brush the side of your jaw, play with you lower lip, before cupping his hand lightly to your throat

- he likes to see how you fit so well in his hand, the way you gasp and shudder for him when he forces your chin up to look him in the eye

- the way his lip curls up when he realizes how smitten you are for him, the way he could tell you to do anything and you'd probably do it with the heat of his hand flush against your neck

- you have to show him how to do it properly, in order to not crush your windpipe, but he gets the hang of it swiftly enough

- is very possessive, and WILL allude to it in public

- he'll wrap his arm around your shoulders, and brush his fingers up against your neck

- he'll say you have something on your neck and go to wipe it away, his fingers splayed down the side of it

- he smiles when he sees your goosebumps, and you know you're in for it when you get home

JAVIER PEÑA

- he likes to kiss you with his hand wrapped around your neck

- to feel your heartbeat through your throat

- if it speeds up when he does it, he knows he's doing something right

- when he takes you from behind, he likes tugging on your hair, wrapping a hand securely around your throat so you know you're not going anywhere

- he really likes it, actually

- he loves the feeling of pressing you impossibly closer into him

- he likes to admire your beautiful throat, when your chest is pressed up against his and he's fucking up into you

- he'll grab your hair at the roots, and pull back on it, to wrap his fingers securely around the base of your throat, keeping you there

- his hands find every erogenous part of you they can, so to have one more spot he knows he can get you off with, that's all the more pleasure from javi

MARCUS MORENO

- he laughs mischievously when you ask him to do it

- he likes to get your blood rushing to all the hottest parts of you first

- he plants wet kisses to your neck, his nose pressing hard into your skin

- the way you heat up for him, and get so excited when he does it

- his free hand finds a way between your thighs and the other one curls around your throat

- it's great for when you're getting too loud and he's afraid you'll wake missy or alert the neighbors, even

- he loves listening to you pant heavily after you're done

- he also loves feeling you dig your nails into his back when you orgasm and his hand is wrapped around your throat

- those scratches aren't terribly difficult to hide, and the idea that you've marked him up as yours is reward enough for indulging in your requests

MARCUS PIKE

- will be the most reluctant, as nobody has ever asked this of him before

- he's scared of hurting you, but you seem to get really into it

- he's in awe of you when you push his hand harder and harder into your neck, moaning and whimpering soft and broken from underneath his grip

- he's not actually the one in charge here, but with his hand wrapped around your windpipe, her certainly feels like he is

- he doesn't want to leave bruises, and definitely checks up on you after the sex or the make out session

- you tell him that he doesn't have to worry as much, but that doesn't give him peace of mind

- it's only when you gently introduce him to the receiving end of it does he understand

- he doesn't like it as much as when you're writing and moaning underneath him, but he figures that if you like it, and he's really not hurting you, he doesn't mind you wrapping his fingers around your neck sometimes

MAX PHILLIPS

- max has always loved your neck, nipping at it, leaving hickeys, pressing his fingers into the pliable skin there

- so when you beg him to choke you, to force all the air out of your chest, to wrap his long fingers around your throat

- he doesn't need to be told twice

- he loves it so much, he starts doing it without needing to be asked

- he presses you up against a wall, or pins you to the bed, and squeezes just enough for you to just barely be able to breathe

- he fucks hard when he chokes you

- you swear you almost pass out when he does it, but he allows you to pull his hands back if he's getting too rough

- he likes to feel your hands wrapped around his throat too, mainly because he doesn't need to breathe, so seeing you fall apart on top of him, seeing your hands wrapped around such a delicate piece of him, squeezing as hard as you can as you ride out your orgasm

- he loves nothing more than orgasms, necks, and good business. and two out of three isn't bad

MAXWELL LORD

- he frames your face with his hands, thumbs tracing your cheeks, and you almost melt at his soft touch

- maxwell is usually quite eager, but gentle in the best ways

- the best part about when he chokes you and fucks you at the same time, is that he subconsciously squeezes in time with each of his thrusts

- his arm frames your head and his face is so close you yours and you just can't help trying to moan around his hand

- he loves loves loves hearing you moan, so usually he'll let up to allow them to escape your mouth

- but then he's right back on it, because he knows that the more he does it, the closer you'll get, and the louder you'll be

- his rings dig marks into your neck, but you love the cold contrast to the warmth of his fingers

OBERYN MARTELL

- will most definitely choke you if you ask him to

- he likes to have you demonstrate for him just exactly how you like it

- your breath hinges in your throat when he takes your hand in his, and presses it underneath his jaw, right above his adams apple

- and you press into his neck and his eyes narrow before he take you and pushes you down onto whatever surface is closest so he can fuck you

- he lights a fire in your core that's impossible to extinguish without him

- he likes to come up from behind you, wrap his hand around your throat, and shove his hand into your pants or up your dress or around whatever you're wearing

- and he loves to feel you push back against him when he does it

- he knows he's got you right where he wants you in that case

- his fingers flex around your throat and he tries to cover as much area at once

- he believes in allowing you to be as loud as you want, since he wants all of dorne to know how good of a lover he is

- but if his fingers are wrapped around your throat, he doesn't mind swallowing all of your moans in a kiss

PERO TOVAR

- tries to choke you out with two hands at first

- you really gotta slow him down and show him the ropes

- sometimes he gets excited about it, other times he's less enthusiastic

- but he loves pleasing you, deep down inside that cold heart of his

- which is why he obliges the request

- once he gets the hang of it, its over for you bitches

- he's up in your ear, panting and whispering dirty things, downright filthy things

- and he squeezes your neck tightly, his fingers wrapped snugly around your throat

- you swear his one hand almost wraps the entire way around, his fingers are so long

- he prefers fast and dirty sex, so this kind of kink is right up his alley

- especially because of how rough he can be with you

- when you two get close, he starts squeezing tighter and tighter, until you almost cant breathe, and your release, when he finally lets go, is one of the best orgasms you've ever had

- which is how pero accidentally discovers his breathplay kink

when you sleep with him for the first time headcanons

note—it gets a little suggestive during oberyn's part, but nothing too crazy. i use sleep here in it's purest form by the way, so enjoy! let me know if you have any ideas for the next one! me and the boys are open to suggestions ;)

MANDO

- mando has always allowed you his bunk to sleep, whenever you like

- when you stayed with him on the razor crest and watched the kid, he was always more than willing to give it up anytime you needed sleep

- he didn't sleep much anyway, and usually your sleeping schedules didn't overlap

- but boba fett's ship doesn't have much space to begin with, let alone enough space for all of the crew mates he's happened to find recently

- which mean's you and mando, having already been living together and already know each other, were sleeping together, in the same small bunk, at the same time

- he offered to sleep on the floor, or pressed up against the wall

- but you got mad at him for even suggesting such a thing

- there was more than enough space for the two of you to sleep, you argued, though there was barely enough room for one

- it was comical, trying to press up against him, and find a spot comfortable enough for the both of you to lay

- it was jarring to you when he removed a single pauldron for you to rest your head on his clothed shoulder

- you felt like you had violated him in some way, seeing him just the lightest bit more bare than usual

- though you were slightly uncomfortable from the rest of the beskar pressing up into your body, you were lulled to sleep in minutes from the sound of his steady heartbeat

EZRA

- the cots had never been a long term solution

- that you knew

- so when the morning comes around, and your cot drops your ass on the floor, you wish you gotten new sleeping arrangements the last time you were in town

- you were just wishing it had taken longer for them to fall apart the way they had

- there wasn't much on the green, in terms of furnishing markets

- the cots had been the only barrier between you and the floor, and now, there was nothing protecting you from the frigid, uninsulated ground of your broken down ship

- it was ezra who offered up the idea: put one blanket down on the floor, and use the other one to cover the both of you with

- you took a second to ponder it, thinking of any idea, any reason that could be used to save you from having to sleep next to ezra, the man who had been so warm and kind to you, but you had frozen him out, because of your ridiculous crush on him

- you offered up the idea of just disassembling the cots and using the cloths as protection from the cold

- but this wiseass pulls out the cloth from the cot and his blanket and compares the two, and there's no way the cloth is going to have any integrity making contact with the ground

- so you agree, and when nightfall comes, you're too exhausted from harvesting all day to fight with him

- he puts his blanket down as protection, and you all but collapse on top of in

- ezra does you the service of tucking you in, before climbing in next to you, and you're soothed by his warmth

- not soothed enough that you fall asleep immediately, still unnerved by the idea of sleeping so close to him, hearing him breathe, feeling him move

- but he throws his good arm over your body and pulls you into him, muttering something about the cold

- and your heart melts just a little bit as you fall asleep, pressed up against his chest

FRANKIE

- frankie had been upset for weeks after his divorce, which was to be expected

- but everything had been so stressful on him, and you were getting worried for his mental health

- he hadn't been answering calls, he'd cancelled plans with you last minute, which is something he never did, and he hadn't been doing anything for himself, just living in a rut of paperwork, sleeping, eating, and going to work

- so when he calls you up to ask you to go camping with him, you obviously say yes

- it's almost a two hour drive to the campsite, and frankie is fairly quite, which isn't usual, but you get some good music going and some good conversation going, and soon enough, you and frankie are laughing and singing your heads off on your way there

- it's getting dark when you arrive, and you make quick work of getting everything out of his car when he realizes something is off

- "oh no" he exclaims, and you fear the worst

- "what? what's wrong?"

- "I brought the small tent."

- "how small is the small tent?"

- "i brought the four-person tent, not the ten person tent."

- "are you kidding frankie? i'm sure we'll fit in a four-person—“

- "i'm telling you, it's not as big as you think it is, trust me."

- when the tent is complete, four-person is an exaggeration

- it's a four-person tent if the four-people were sardine packed and the size of children

- it's going to be just enough room for both you and frankie to lie down in with your sleeping bags

- but that's for a later time, because frankie has marshmallows to roast and lots of things to tell you after he's been ignoring you for a whole week

- he apologizes and you sit next to him at the firepit on your site, and you listen to him talk, and give him advice, and rest your head on his shoulder

- and when it's late into the night and you two go to retreat to bed, you have to squish up against his broad shoulders that seem so much broader in the small tent

- and when he wakes with nightmares of his fighting buddies and far too many sleepless nights, he pulls you close to him, and falls asleep again, until the sunlight streams through the front flap of the tent far too early in the morning

WHISKEY

- that day’s mission was harsh

- it had you spent, not only physically, but mentally as well

- as you lie awake in your bed, you realize you’re not getting to sleep tonight, whether or not you had another important mission that morning

- the hotel bed was creaky and entirely not your bed from home and the air conditioner was broken so it was freezing

- you figure there’s no better time than the present, and you’re well aware whiskey is right next door

- if he’s awake, you’ll ask him to have a drink with you, and if he’s asleep, you can just hop into bed with him

- he’s a deep sleeper anyway

- you’re careful turning the knob into his room, just in case he’s asleep, and you spot him in his bed, on his side, breathing softly, room cloaked in darkness

- you come around on his side of the bed and you whisper his name

- he stirs a little

- you debate going back to your room and just toughing it out, but he doesn’t give you the chance

- he’s up, groggy and hair tousled and in just a plain t-shirt

- “sweetheart? what are you doin’ here? what’s goin’ on?”

- you tell him you didn’t want to sleep alone tonight, and he wipes the sleep from his eyes and squints at you, using only the moonlight to help him see

- “what kind of gentleman would i be if i refused you my bed?”

- this makes you smile, and he lifts the covers for you to get in with him

- you plant your head on his shoulder and drape an arm over his chest, cozying up to him as close as possible

- his hand rests comfortably on your back, and he breathes rhythmically

- and you’re silently grateful he doesn’t ask questions, just lets you curl up into his side ands lets you fall asleep with him there

JAVIER PEÑA

- it happened in a flurry of passion and kisses, hands roaming his body and yours after a far too close dance with death

- if it had not been for his bulletproof vest, he'd be lying in a hospital or a morgue

- but he wasn't

- his body was warm and so was yours and the ride to his apartment was far too quiet for your liking and his

- it was only appropriate you accompanied him for a drink after such a great victory for the DEA, but it had taken a toll on both of you, mentally

- you more so than him, which is why you ended up drinking much more than you normally would have when you drank with javi

- he tried to laugh away the stress, complaining about his sore and bruised ribs, but the room was still tense

- emotions ran rampant through your body, and when he brings it up, tears start to pool in your eyes at the thought seeing him for the last time, in a suit, at his own funeral he wouldn't attend if he had the choice

- he sets his drink down and pulls you into his arms, holding your waist and cupping the back of your neck, stroking behind your ear as he listens to you cry softly in his shoulder

- he reassures you he's fine, nothing happened to him, and you pull away from him, grab his face, and stare into his eyes

- he smiles kindly at your own red ringed eyes, irritated from crying, as you try to memorize each streak of brown in his own

- it's too much for the both of you, and you pull him into a kiss

- his mouth is surprisingly soft compared to your own drunk passion, and as much as he'd love to take you right then and there on his couch, he knows he'd regret it if you woke up the next morning and regretted it too

- so he entertains the kiss, not that he minds, and leads you to his bedroom

- where the silk sheets and heavy comforter that smell so strongly of javier peña pull you to sleep next to him, faster than you'd like to admit

MARCUS MORENO

- missy and your daughter had always gotten along very well

- you were very familiar with marcus, and could even call yourselves friends to an extent

- your daughters were very intelligent little girls, and knew that if they got the two of you talking when you came to pick your daughter from his house, they would have at least another hour to play while you two chatted endlessly about boring adult things

- for missy's birthday party, she had wanted all of her friends over for a huge sleepover, and of course her father caved

- he couldn't say no to her no matter how much he tried

- marcus, the genius he was, figured that if the kids were all under one roof having fun, why not let the adults have fun too?

- everyone was invited

- the kids would have lots of different fun activities to choose from, from swimming, to games in the backyard, and a movie night under the stars outside

- and the adults were welcome to stay, chat, drink, and play adult card games marcus had saved for special occasions

- the night of the sleepover, a dozen children and adults were packed into his backyard, watching some new movie he had rented the missy was excited about

- but it was freezing, and you hadn't expected to be outside for so long

- marcus realizes this and he leans over quietly, so not to disturb the movie

- "are you cold?"

- "oh! no, it's okay, i'll be fine—“ you try to excuse yourself, but he gets up without a word, and returns with a sweatshirt of his

- it fits snugly over your head, and completely eliminated the chill in your bones

- it doesn't take long for your eyes to start getting heavy, and soon enough, you're passed out on marcus' shoulder

- "what if we camp out here for the night?" he suggests, and the kids are more than excited

- the adults know what he's up to

- but they let him anyway

- it'll be great to tease him about later, and besides, you guys are adorable together

MARCUS PIKE

- working together with marcus was always a joy

- he was always very respectful and funny

- you knew he had his heart broken more than once in the past, so even though you dropped hints that you'd want something more with marcus, you let him take it at his own pace

- when you dropped by his place that night, with important new documents you had received right before you left work and chinese food, you're ecstatic when he lets you in

- you spend hours pouring over the documents, making sure every single detail was covered and examined, when you realize how tired you are, and how loud the rain is coming down outside his window

- "it's getting really late. i should leave," you say, but marcus stops you

- "you could always, y'know, stay the night if you wanted. i'd let you have my bed."

- you smiled at him, but politely decline, as you wouldn't want to kick him out of his bed, but you yawn again

- "look, you're exhausted, and it's pouring" he points out, "you know most accidents happen by people falling asleep behind the wheel when it's raining?"

- you laugh at him

- "you just made that up,"

- "i did, but you should stay. if you don't want to i totally understand, but you'd be missing out. my bed is really comfortable."

- "is that why you're always late to work?" you quip, and close the files

- he gasps in mock shock

- "that was one time, and my alarm didn't go off," he claims, smiling at you

- he lends you a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and you pretend to not see a slight blush on his face when you walk out into his bedroom with them on

- marcus was right when he said his bed was really comfortable

- somehow, in the middle of the night, you two find each other, his face pressed into your shoulder, your arms wrapped around him, and the rain comes down even harder

MAX PHILLIPS

- "i just need some space from him, is all."

- that's all you had to tell him for max phillips to be on your side, rubbing your shoulder and telling you that all men suck anyway, you didn't need that jerk of a boyfriend to be happy

- well, now ex-boyfriend

- of course he had ulterior motives, and you knew this, but you didn’t care

- your heart wanted someone to watch movies with and eat a pint of ice cream out of the tub with you, and if max was the one who would do that, you’d settle with him for the night

- the way he pulled you into his arms, and pressed his body up against yours, was more than comforting

- he made funny jokes, tried tickling you, anything he could think of to get you to smile for him

- and for the most part, you did

- you were sick of your ex bringing the mood down the way he did, no matter how much you missed him

- the movie has gotten boring a long time ago, but you listened to max’s breathing, and felt his chest rise and fall behind you, and it was enough to lull you to sleep

- and he would’ve woken you up, to take you to his bed, but he was scared you’d leave to go home if he did

- so he took his couch throw, pulled it over the two of you, turned off the television, and settled back as you got comfortable on his chest

- this was a side of max phillips you’d never seen before, and you didn’t expect to see any time soon

- so you relished in it, and let sleep pull you in

MAXWELL LORD

- his head aches, and his eye is still bleeding on the plane back to washington d.c.

- the ride back is silent, save for the rumbling of the engine

- he rests his head against the wall of the airplane for most of the ride there, and you take comfort in knowing while he’s asleep, he’s not in pain

- when he starts getting restless, having what you think is a nightmare, you start holding his hand, stroking your thumb up and down his soft skin

- it takes him a minute, but he calms down, and you don’t let go of his hand

- with nothing to do but watch him sleep, you decide taking a nap too would be your best option

- which is when the plane hits a particularly rough patch of turbulence

- he bounces awake, nervous and alert, and you tell him it’s just the plane, everything’s fine

- when you pull him into your shoulder, he takes the opportunity to fall back asleep

- you can feel the tension in his neck just by having him rest his head on your shoulder

- you keep a firm grip on his hand, when your own eyes start to get heavy

- your head rests on his, and the rest of the ride there is smooth and painless

OBERYN MARTELL

- he had been pursuing you for quite some time

- as the second son of a king, he was more than accustomed to people saying yes to appease him

- he was forward with you, and you were forward back with him, and he liked that

- it was your words that told him you weren't looking for anything long term, that if he were to pleasure you, and you him, he would be nothing more than a simple one night stand

- boy did he prove you wrong

- your legs were so weak afterward, you couldn't bare to get up

- he took incredibly good care of you, squeezing your sore thighs and rubbing your aching muscles, pressing kisses up and down your back, brushing the hair out of your face

- it only increased your attraction to him when he brought in more people, caring for them and having them care for you, and by the time you had finished, you felt as though you couldn't physically go another round that night

- he purred in your ear that every night with him would be a night like this, and you whined back, making him grin and capture your mouth in a passionate kiss

- you didn't mean to fall sleep with him, but all the nibbling bites at your ear and the serotonin coursing through your veins had you spent for the night

- he let you sleep, and even stayed for a while before being summoned for an important meeting

- you made a mental note that eventually, you two would need to do that again, because you slept like a baby the whole night through

PERO TOVAR

- it's below freezing when you settle down for sleep that night

- no matter how much wind the tent tried to keep out, it just wasn't enough

- you're bundled up in all the clothes you had brought with you, the only blanket that could be spared, anything that could try to keep you warm, but nothing’s working

- the cold just bleeds through the blanket and your clothes, into your legs and chest and bones so that you can’t fall asleep if you tried

- you figure the only way you’ll be able to get any rest to be ready for the next day, is to go find a warmer place to sleep

- if the fire’s still going, you’ll rest there

- you shiver as you pick up your things, but your interrupted by tovar, who comes in with a thick fur blanket wrapped around his shoulders

- “where are you going?”

- “i was just going to sleep next to the fire,” you say, trying to keep the chill out of your voice

- “it’s going to be cold tonight. lay down.” he instructs, and you oblige

- he lays the blanket down over you and climbs underneath it next to you, so that your shoulders touch and watch him for a second before he turns over and tries to go to sleep without a word

- you pull the blanket up to your shoulders and you feel ten times warmer already, but it’s the heat from tovar that really entices you

- so you push back against him, your back against his, and fall asleep with the warmth of his muscles against yours

when he’s sick headcanons

note — can you tell i was in a francisco morales mood when i wrote this? also, i’m incredibly soft. i just wanna hold them :’( also also send me your  own headcanons!! i wanna hear ‘em!! big love <3 - nat

MANDO

- he doesn’t know how he survived all those bouts of sickness alone when you step in to help him for the first time

- his body aches, and not the usual after-bounty-capture either

- his head is foggy, he can feel the sweat in his helmet, and his breathing is hard

- he can’t tell if it’s coming through the modulator, but when you bring soup up to the cockpit for him, he knows you know

- he takes it gratefully, knowing that if there was nobody else here he would have just gone to bed to sleep it off, dinner vetoed for the night

- your cold fingers wrap around the back of his neck, moving his cape as you do so, and he melts into you

- he doesn’t know that he lets out the smallest whimper when you do this, and it makes you want to tear off his helmet, pull him into your arms, and hold him until he’s better

- but you can’t, so you settle for a hand on his neck, and the tilt of a helmet when he drinks the soup in front of you, as requested

- he definitely has a fever, and maker knows what else

- so you tell him to get some rest, that you’d watch the ship and get him if anything went wrong

- you supervise him down the ladder, just in case, which he finds funny and sweet

- you wish you could squish into his bunk with him, but you don’t want to invade on his personal space, especially while he’s hot and sick

- you you settle into the cockpit, the ship on cruise control, and you check on him every once in a while, keeping grogu occupied and quiet while he gets some well deserved rest

EZRA

- you knew he would get it

- right after you recovered from your illness, he started displaying symptoms of the same one you had just gotten over

- shortness of breath, fever, aches, lethargy

- he had taken such good care of you, so it was only fair that you’d do the same in return

- resources were sparse and quarters were cramped on the green, but you did what you could to make him as comfortable as possible

- his feverish back was pressed up against your chest in a cot designed for one after he’d stripped down to his underwear to avoid overheating

- he really enjoyed you being the big spoon sometimes, and now was one of those times

- when he got too hot from your shared body heat though, you would sit on the floor next to the cot and stroke right behind his ear to get him to fall asleep

- you made sure he ate as much as he could keep down, and you gave him all the fluids you could spare for his speedy recovery

- it broke your heart to see your usually verbose boy so quiet and in pain

- he muttered fever nonsense to no one and whimpered in his sleep

- you moved your cot directly next to his in order to keep a close eye on him

- but you knew that with time he would heal, and that as soon as he started talking to you again he was getting better

FRANKIE

- he sweats through the sheets next to you in the early hours of the night

- you’re the one who wakes up first, and you honestly thought one of you had wet the bed because of how much liquid there was

- but you realize that it’s frankie, back drenched and sweating out whatever flu he had acquired from whoever he had gotten it from

- you wake him from what seemed to be a not great dream anyway, and when he realizes what happened, he apologizes, groggy from sleep and illness

- “no, no! i’m not mad, frankie, you just can’t sleep in this sweetheart. you’ll get more sick. how are you feeling?”

- he curls up deeper under the covers and you get out of bed to kneel next to him

- your hands card through his matted, sweat soaked hair, and you wipe the drops from his jaw

- “do you want a cool shower, baby? you’re soaked.” you suggest, but frankie is so out of it

- he was fine last night, you remember

- sure he didn’t eat dinner, and went to bed early, but you thought maybe he had a late lunch and a long day

- now, helping him out of bed to the shower, you understand that it was early onset symptoms of whatever he was battling

- he pressed heavily to your side and you’re nervous as you strip him down and get him into the tub

- he sways, and you’re not sure what you’ll do if he passes out, or hits his head, so you sit him down, take off the shower head, make sure the water coming out is room temperature, and you run she showerhead over his overheating body

- you’re careful not to get any water in his face and ears, and you don’t wash his hair, just his body with a gentle soap

- you figure this is one of the only times frankie will let you take care of him like this, so you milk it for all it’s worth

- you blow dry his hair on a low setting, just in case he has a headache, you change the sheets of your bed, you lay him down on his side and you bring him close to your chest

- which is how he falls asleep for the next few nights until his illness eventually subsides

WHISKEY

- he curls up in your lap on the couch as soon as he gets home from work, which is how you know something’s wrong

- but you ask him anyway

- “i don’t feel so great, sugar,”

- which scares you, because did he get drugged? is this just a regular illness? is this like a biowarfare mission gone wrong?

- you leave him to get the thermometer, and when you come back, he’s got sad eyes looking up at you that just break your heart

- turns out, it’s not biowarfare. just a fever of 100.4

- you slip your hands up the back of his shirt and it’s so warm, along with his forehead

- he moans weakly at your touch, worn and tired from his extensive mission that day

- he’s definitely been overexerting himself

- as you settle back onto the couch, he settles into your lap again

- you let him rest for a while, but not after long, you realize he’s fallen asleep, and you’re stuck there for god knows how long

- you turn the volume down on the tv just in case, and you stroke behind his ears and you play with his fingers

- it’s best to just let him sleep it off, and you're not opposed to letting him do it on your lap

- you imagine there are statesman resources you can use to help him, but if he’s feeling better after he’s slept it off, then maybe you won’t need to misuse them

JAVIER PEÑA

- you scared the shit out of him, knocking on his door like that

- in your blinding rage, filled with thoughts like “how dare he take the day off to bang hookers, to recover from his hangover, to generally be a hindrance to the fucking DEA,” you had not pondered the possibility that THE javier peña, was sick

- he’s pulling on a t-shirt just as he opens the door, wearing pajama pants, and it startles you to see him so disarmed and casual

- his eyes and nose are red, his hair is disheveled, and he looks... exhausted

- “wow, you look like shit."

- “i feel like shit,” he says, walking away from the door, sniffling

- you take this as an invitation in, and close the door behind you

- he collapses back onto his couch, where you assume he’s been all day, and wraps himself up in a thick afghan blanket

- his hands shake the slightest bit as he opens his lighter to ignite his cigarette

- you take a seat next to him and help him with his lighter, and he nods his thanks to you

- “you’re gonna be late,” he mutters, taking the cigarette from his mouth and blowing out smoke into his apartment, coughing it out halfway

- “i’ll call out,” you offer, eyes wandering up his blanket clad body

- he closes his eyes and lets his head rest on the back of the couch

- “go in. i’m just gonna sleep it off anyway,”

- you lean in close to him and press your hand against his forehead and he freezes, staring at you

- you run your hand down his neck and feel his warmth, and he melts into your touch just a little bit

- you offer to only call out for a few hours to get him settled and make sure he doesn’t die or something, and he lets you, simply because he knows his illness will only get worse

- when your time is up and you have to go back to work, javi’s eaten, gotten some fluids in him, and taken some pain meds

- you let him know that he can call you if he needs anything, and before you even walk out the door is sleeping contently on the couch

MARCUS MORENO

- you find out he’s sick when he calls you, and asks for a favor

- “hey, can you do me the biggest favor ever?”

- he’s super congested. at first you think it might not be him because of how grainy his voice is

- “i hate to do this to you on such short notice, but would you be able to pick up missy? i’m not feeling too hot right now.”

- when you make it back to their home, it's very clear why he thought he wouldn't be able to make it

- he's curled up in bed, tissues piled on his nightstand, trying to get some sleep, but clearly failing

- he notices the two of you come in, and you quietly usher missy away to her own room to entertain herself while her dad tries to get some rest

- he thanks you for picking up missy, and you tell him you'd be there for him whenever he needed you to be

- you make a special phone call as you care for marcus, keeping his curtains closed and running your cool hands up and down his back and shoulders until he felt like he could fall asleep

- you let him know that you'll be right back, that you were going to pick up a few things for him and that if he needed anything at all, just call

- knowing your chicken noodle soup skills were rusty, your special phone call had been to marcus' mother's house, where she had tupperware containers full of soup waiting for you to pick up for him

- when you get back to his house with pain meds, gatorade, and the soup, marcus is passed out in bed

- you don't want to wake him up, but you have a hunch that he hasn't eaten all day, so you whisper his name softly and lightly shake him awake

- he's so grateful and only eats a portion of what he normally does, but anything is better than nothing

- and you don't want him feeling even more sick as a result

- you end up eating the incredibly nostalgic and rich soup with missy at the table and talk to her about your day while marcus gets some sleep

MARCUS PIKE

- it's only when you get home from work that you realize something's wrong with marcus

- he's asleep on the couch

- which would have been fine, if you had worked overtime, or had gotten out late, but it was only four thirty

- plus, you two had planned on going to see a movie you he was excited about tonight in theatres and maybe grab dinner after

- the tv plays lowly in the background, and he hasn’t changed out of his work clothes yet

- he startles when you close and lock the door, and rubs his temples, eyes squeezed shut in pain

- "marcus, are you okay?"

- "yeah, i'm fine." he tells you, and when you mention the date, he looks shocked that he forgot about it

- "oh my god, you're right. i can’t believe i forgot, i’m so sorry babe, i'll get ready right now."

- you tell him it's no biggie, but he insists

- after you've taken off your work clothes and showered quickly for your date, you realize the two of you are most definitely staying in

- he's promptly fallen back asleep on the couch, and he looks adorable

- you put on your pajamas and he does too, and you settle into the couch behind marcus, flipping through channels with him

- he says he doesn't care what you watch, as long as it's not too bright or loud

- so you choose some old black and white movie with the subtitles on

- normally you're the one between his legs, as he rubs your shoulders and plays with your hair

- but this time, he's curled up into you, his back pressed up against your chest, his head tucked into your shoulder using it as a pillow

- you figure you didn't really want to see the new movie anyway, and decide takeout and casablanca was a better way to spend your time with your sick boyfriend

MAX PHILLIPS

- a big baby

- but he IS a vampire and DOES NOT get sick, which slips your mind completely when you come home after some overtime and find him paler than usual on the couch, his head in his hands

- you try to get him to tell you what’s wrong, and he refuses, but he caves when you sit down next to him and start stroking his head, and playing with the hair at the base of his neck

- he tells you that after the whole vampire fiasco with the company, he was set for a while, and has been feeling great, but he hasn’t had human blood in so long that it’s made him weak

- he gives you a sad puppy dog look, and you know he’s being an asshole about it, but you hate to see the dark circles under his eyes or the color his skin turns when he’s like this

- so you oblige, but you give him STRICT instructions to follow, otherwise you won’t do it again

- don’t take more than a pint, don’t leave unnecessary bruises, if you use your safe word he has to stop immediately, and he has to make it as quick and painless as he possibly can

- he nods enthusiastically, and pulls you into his lap

- he nuzzles into your neck, and grabs your chin, anchoring himself to you

- he blows softly on your skin, and presses hard kisses to the area to get your blood flowing and disarm you

- which isn’t fair because he knows your neck is so sensitive

- it’s a sharp prick when he ejects his fangs into your body and you stop moving completely, your hand fisting at his shirt, just listening to your breathing and his soft moans echoed against your skin

- out of habit your rub soothing circles into his back, more to sooth yourself then anything

- minutes pass, and you start to feel light headed and are about to tell him to stop when he pulls away, grinning ear to ear at you

- he’s back on your neck in seconds though, licking and sucking the leaking blood from the small holes he’s left in your skin

- now that, that feels much better than the bloodsucking that was going on originally

- you jump when he presses soft kisses to the sensitive area along your throat and dives a hand between your legs

- looks like someone’s feeling better already

MAX LORD

- tries to power through it as much as he can with pain killers and cough syrups, but after he almost passes out at dinner after a week of symptoms, you beg him to take at least a day off to recover

- that morning, his hair is a mess, he missed a button on his shirt, and his tie was uneven

- he was about to put on two different colored socks when he begrudgingly obliges

- you unbutton his shirt and help him take off his tie

- it’s easy to bring him back to bed after that, and you let him hold you from behind like a teddy bear, no matter how uncomfortable his arm is shoved under your neck

- usually he likes to be held, but he can feel his own back burning up, so he decides to hold you instead

- he whimpers in his sleep, plagued by fever dreams and his traumatic past

- so when he wakes you up in the middle of the night, something he so very rarely does, you’re concerned

- “i’m sorry, for waking you, i just... i just need... you... i want—“

- it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he needs a hug

- you hold him and rub his back until he falls back asleep again, in your arms

- when he wakes up with a killer headache, you fight to keep him in bed again, rubbing his temples and pressing kisses to his forehead

- he falls back asleep in less than five minutes

- needless to say, one more day off couldn’t hurt

OBERYN MARTELL

- it’s not often than he gets sick, surprisingly, considering how close he gets to so many different people

- when you arrive at his chambers that morning, the guards seem keen on not letting you in

- you argue with them, but they insist oberyn didn’t want anyone in there

- you call them out, obviously upset and visibly frustrated when his doors creak open and you see him, in a robe, hair messy and pressed down to his forehead

- he quietly tells the guard to let you in, and you’re a little confused

- he sits down on his bed and looks up at you with guilty eyes

- “apologies, my love, but I don't want you to see me like this”

- you scoff and roll your eyes at him, moving in front of him

- you take his head in your hands, and he stares up at you

- “apology accepted, but i’m offended, my prince.”

- he scrunches his eyebrows and presses his chin to your stomach

- you run your hands through his hair and he brings his hands to your waist

- “you think mere illness could keep me away? keep me away from you?”

- his confusion melts into a small smile, and he lets his head rest against your belly as you pull him into you

- “can i get you anything, oberyn? wine, medicine?”

- “no, my love. just you is enough for me.”

PERO TOVAR

- wants to be left alone for the most part

- grumpy in general, and it doesn't get better when he's sick

- he'll let you wipe a cool cloth over his forehead and neck, and doesn't complain

- he says he doesn’t want you there because he doesn’t want you to catch what he has

- you know, survival rates are low for things like this at this point in history

- but really, like oberyn, he doesn’t want you to see him weak

- he’s afraid it’ll ruin your image of him in your mind

- william asks you to get some rest, as they can’t afford to risk more days at the campsite with sick travelers

- so you oblige, keeping your distance from pero, but you stay vigilant

- you stand guard for him for most of the night, listening to him breathe, watching his chest rise and fall, until you eventually fall asleep too

- but you’re up early, with the rest of the men, except pero, who sleeps well into daylight

- the rest of them take off, desperate to find something for dinner, but you stay back with him, stroking his forehead, a gentleness that’s rarely ever been afforded to him, listening to him ramble half in english, half in spanish, but he has your full attention

- it would be a rough few days until he recovered, but his muttered thanks and appreciation for you was more than enough for you to do it all over again if he ever needed you to

sex headcanons

note — NSFW. whelp. if anyone wanted proof of me being clinically insane, this is what you could show them. not only has all of my free time been devoted to watching anything with pedro pascal in it, this is also what i think about while watching these anythings. i know there are people out there who have loved him for longer and are even more obsessed than i, so i figured i would share my personal headcanons for the PPCU (pedro pascal cinematic universe, duh). big love for any fans of pedrito - nat

MANDO

- VIRGIN with a capital V

- did you see how he reacted when grogu touched his face? this man has not been touched since he was a child

- he grew up with the mandalorians but he was exposed to suggestive behaviors because, helloooo, bounty hunter

- you have to coax him into it, but it doesn't take much, since he plans on keeping you around long term

- plus, you're so good with the kid

- you provide him a safe space to explore both himself and also your body and he has no idea how lucky he is for it

- doesn't make very much noise, but loves to listen to you

- he won't last long, he’s so sensitive from years of going untouched, but this man's recovery time???

- unparalleled

- he also has the dick of a space porn star and doesn't know it

- but seriously, rice purity score is NOT lower than 90, and most of the boxes he checks are "running-from-the-police" related

- he really wants to be held and have someone run their hands through his hair and kiss his neck and hold his hands is that too much to ask???

EZRA

- his words are where he gets you

- who knew dirty talk could sound so elegant??? and poetic??

- what a tease he is, too

- he pants so heavily right in your ear holy sweet lord

- and loves to laugh during sex

- he doesn't take himself super seriously unless he gets super into it, which has been known to happen from time to time

- safe words have been used between you two, which there's no shame in, but he's so good to you afterward

- he loves aftercare, and being gentle and sweet after a rough session

- asks you what you want and makes you beg for it

- makes you feel like you're in control but really, he's the one in control

- will make you cum before he does

- kinky kinky boy, almost always willing to try what you want him to

- loves to pin you down, but after he loses his arm it becomes a bit harder, so he settles for holding you flush against his chest as you squirm in his strong grip

FRANKIE

- a little soft spoken, but will whisper in your ear in public because he knows it gets you riled up

- will stare you down from across the room with bedroom eyes

- he's got that pilot's precision if you know what i mean aha

- he's honest with you about what he likes and has no qualms about telling you up front

- gives off switch energy, but you're gonna have to really make it worth his while if you want to fuck him

- a very gentle touch, which he would love to be reciprocated

- he aches from years in the service, his back, his knees, his shoulders

- would probably drop dead if you gave him a massage as foreplay

WHISKEY

- what an arrogant piece of shit

- "gorgeous, darlin', sweetheart, sugar"

- he will butter you up like a roll on thanksgiving goddamn

- so straightforward, and very up in your face, but it got you to sleep with him the first time you met him, so you can't say it doesn't work

- not the best with his fingers, but dear lord that tongue does wonders when he's not talking

- is a man on a mission to please you

- will spend an absurd amount of time between your thighs, and loves to feel you try to push him away when you get oversensitive

- loves it when you get feisty

- pull his hair, bite down a little harder than usual, push him down onto the bed or forcefully unbuckle his pants and this man will be putty in your hands

- is SO LOUD, and expects the same from you

- doesn't understand that because you're not screaming to the heavens doesn't mean he's doing a bad job

- associates volume with pleasure which isn't always the case

- that's something you'll have to work on with him, but he's a patient man

JAVIER PEÑA

- keeps condoms and lube on hand at almost all times

- ohhhh boy is this man willing to go at it wherever, whenever, you name it

- will fuck you until he sweats, and keeps going afterward

- and will definitely do you right

- he fucks to feel in control, so good luck trying to take control with this one

- almost tries to distance himself from you at first, but really it scares him that he cares so much

- there's just something about orgasming at the same time as you that just makes his whole week, and your hole weak (ahaha)

- likes to fuck you from behind and fuck you roughly, hands both occupied at the same time, mouth on you, and dick inside you

- very hands on, but can be sweet afterward

- this man kisses like no other you've ever kissed before, he leaves you breathless

MARCUS MORENO

- leads by example wink wink

- will show you what he wants done to him, and is pretty vanilla, but in a good way

- is big on foreplay and also aftercare, probably one of the sweeter ones on the list

- he's almost methodical in his sex, very routine, but willing to deviate for you

- gentle, but deep, languid strokes

- thinks he's quieter than he actually is

- always has a lot on his mind, so he really appreciates it when you can ease some of his tension

- secretly was really experimental in college

- very attentive to your needs and likes to tease

- morning sex is his thing. when he gets home from a long day, he wants to eat and relax and sleep. but in the morning? before anyone is up and before breakfast is even being considered, he likes to wake you up with sweet bruises and roaming hands

MARCUS PIKE

- marcus is the type of man to respect your boundaries fully, keep copies of toys he knows you like at his house, and surprise you at work with flowers and a dirty quickie in the bathroom because you've wanted to try it so badly

- a more traditional way of thinking on sex, and semi-reluctant to do anything involving his ass, but will try it for you if you really want him to

- a very quick learner, this one, and incredibly intuitive

- what he lacks in skill he makes up for in enthusiasm

- it's almost like he can read your mind, when he uses just the right amount of pressure and uses just the right motion to make you cum for him

- you have no idea how anyone could give this up, let alone break his heart

- his favorite thing is having you ride him, your face buried in his neck as you grind your hips down as he whispers praise in your ear

- marcus isn't super kinky, but i'm sure you can convince him to try something new every once in a while

MAX PHILLIPS

- OFFICE. DESK. SEX.

- "a private word with you in my office, please."

- so very seductive. the hand on the small of your back gets you going and he knows it, but he'll have to be more subtle if he wants to keep you

- another one who will butter you up to get you to sleep with him. he's very obvious about it, so it may or may not work first time. regardless he's up for a challenge

- pays so much attention to your neck. you will have to invest in many turtlenecks if you want to be with max

- big on eye contact, except for the exception of fucking you senseless over his desk

- obviously, a vampire, so he's absolutely magic between your thighs

- is very personable with everyone else, mainly because he's a business major, but he LOVES to make you jealous, this man LIVES off of it

- will one hundred percent expect you to be putty in his arms immediately, and treats it as a competition if you aren't

- he WILL take it personally and will make it a personal goal of his to get you to like him and want to fuck him without using his powers

- a game of cat and mouse

- does not care at all about being loud in the workplace, but he likes to see you struggle to keep quiet, even if everyone else can hear you anyway

MAXWELL LORD

- has suCH a praise kink wow

- his favorite thing is to hear you moan and tell him he’s doing a good job

- a little more vanilla than his counterparts but does like to take control and be a little rough

- a switch sometimes, falls into ruts where he just wants someone to take care of him

- but he WILL NOT ASK FOR IT. his pride won't let him

- at first, he’s not as mindful of you as you’d like him to be

- his sex is fast and unpleasant with hands everywhere and mouths and teeth and touch

- so you sit him down, and show him what you like. very slow and sensual

- you take your time with him, and he eventually starts to do the same with you

OBERYN MARTELL

- remember din's rice purity score? yeah, oberyn's is maybe ten. which is pushing it

- when you meet him, he knows what he likes, and is very particular about it

- he's done his fair share of experimenting, but he's willing to try new things, if there's anything new to be tried

- takes control inside and outside the bedroom

- not afraid to show you your place

- he's the kinky one in the relationship, and he will let you explore his body all you want

- if he doesn't like it he will kindly redirect you, his hands on yours, stroking and tugging and redirecting pressure and placement so that you learn his body in and out

- loves to watch you with his girls and boys. what an exhibitionist this man is

- for most people, they have to choose between quantity or quality in their sex lives. oberyn martell is not most people

- he is a prince, and will not let you forget it, but likes it when you talk back and he has to punish you

PERO TOVAR

- the roughest one on the list, but not the kinkiest

- sex to him when he's at his worst is just a way for him to feel good and relieve stress

- when he's at his best, it's a way for him to make you scream his name

- very possessive about what's his, and if he has to show it in front of everyone else for them to know that he will do it

- this man fucks like a rabbit. how does he find the time??? nobody knows

- his libido is so high. you have no idea how he isn't absolutely spent at the end of a long day of fighting and training and wandering, but he'll fuck you where you lay if you let him and you're too tired to move

- once you accidentally walked in on him stroking himself, and the AUDACITY OF HIM

- he smirked, groaned, and asked you to help him out

- who could resist a man like that

        ꒰ 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒's works for 𝐏𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐎 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐋'S CHARACTERS.    ꒰ main m. / characters list         ꒰ ꒱ PROMPTS ⒈ & ⒉ for requests /   ...   MY 'READERS' PALETTE   / ABOUT 𝐌𝐄  ... ꒱ "where art thou, why not uponeth me?..." | DARK CONTENT |

        ꒰ drabbles ꒱

₁ DO NOT BLAME THE WIND   ꒰ 𝓙 OEL 𝓜 ILLER -- ONESHOT ꒱

₂ CORIANDER UNDER THE FIG TREE   ꒰ 𝓜 ARCUS 𝓐 CACIUS ꒱

𝓓AVE 𝓨 ORK   ꒰ COMING SOON.... ꒱

𝓙AVIER 𝒫EÑA   ꒰ COMING SOON... ꒱

© THEHYDRAETHEREAL COPYRIGHTS. DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE OR REWRITE MY WORKS. INTERACT USING YOUR COMMON SENSE. THIS CONTENT IS TRIGGERING.

nah, I'm a little too obsessed with this. Read the other part too, but this one was purely delicious! Oh, the talent is killing me softly, really --

Clean

Summary: They are everywhere, at all times.

Warnings: Dead dove do not eat, noncon, kidnapping, fingering, manhandling.

Pairings: Dark! Joel Miller x reader, Dark! Javier Peña x reader, Dark! Marcus Acacius x reader, Dark! Oberyn Martell x reader, Dark! Agent Whiskey x reader, Dark! Dieter Bravo x reader, Dark! Frankie Morales x reader

Series Masterlist

You hadn't recollected yourself when Joel spoke once again, Texan drawl lighter after the relief he had taken on your body. Your shivering hands attempted to paw at scraps of your clothes, using your previously discarded jean jacket to cover your naked form.

"Might as well bathe her if she's sleeping in my bed," He asserted casually, looking down at your disheveled state. "had a long day, didn't you, puppy?"

You stared at him wide eyed, not knowing what to possibly say. The nickname rolled out of his tongue with satisfaction, towering over your kneeling form, as if you actually were a dog. His shoulder flexed under his worn navy sweater, and he shifted to the rest of the men, tucking their still-hard erections away. You sensed the power Joel held over them, taming their savage desire with a simple command.

"Call dibs on that." Dieter proclaimed, a chuckle and a growl mixing in his tone as the rest cackled slightly. Joel tutted, cutting through the sounds charismatic-ally.

"Want her squeaky clean, Catfish it's on you."

Your Savior slammed the toy helicopter on the kitchen table, standing up with a torn, dutiful look on his face. The rest begun rumbling, and Joel simply looked up at them through his eyebrows, silencing them.

Catfish's dark and dirty boots stumped on the floorboards, short lived protests in their wake. His eyes glared at Joel from beneath the visor of his cap, hands twitching at his sides, but softened when he came down to his knees before you.

His hands reached for the over sized jean jacket that you had a white-knuckled grip on, and he gave it a wavering tug. Your eyes pleaded at him, and he nodded, still reaching for the jacket; his eyes reassured you, but you had seen the bulge protruding at his zipper, he was no better than the rest of them.

Burning holes into your head was Joel's stare, so you let go. It surprised you as Catfish straightened up the piece and showed you the arm hole. Slowly, you extended your limb and climbed into the jacket.

"Can you walk?" He whispered, and you tensed your muscles, skimming the possible pain. Your core felt like fire, but your legs felt enough as you pushed yourself onto the soles of your feet. You breathed out, eyes on him as he lifted you around your waist, hands warm through the denim.

As you came onto your feet, you realized the other men had possibly lost interest, fidgeting around with random objects you couldn't place through blurry eyes. Some sat down on the tattered couch, other's perched upon the counter.

A reassuring step after the other, with Catfish's arm supporting your back and waist, palm not fully pressing against you, you walked past the fireplace, and the couch and almost reached the hallway before your muscles turned taut, stretching and pulling at the fiber of your flesh. His careful grip wasn't enough to hold you as your knees slammed against the floor, crevices and lines sinking into your flesh and eliciting a sharp hiss.

"Need help?" One of them asked, and you hand shot to pull the only item of clothing down your bare ass. Preserving some dignity.

His hands were more stubborn, pulling you hastily from the floor to your feet and into the shadowy hallway. You felt cold marble digging against your back as he propped you against the bathroom counter, turning on the yellowed light.

The bathroom was well kept, but it didn't compare in the slightest to your back at home. You scanned for similarities, washbowl, mirror, toilet and tub. Although the porcelain looked stained, and the mirror was barely enough to see you face and some of your neck, it was spacey enough for the two of you to stand with some distance.

He crouched by your legs, hands reaching into the cabinets before pulling out some essentials; soap, a towel and bottle of shampoo which's label had rubbed off. After placing them on the counter, he silently kneeled over the bath tub, turning the rusty faucet on.

You peeked at him through wild strands of hair, debating onto what to do next. Your whole body was ravaged in shock, and you barely processed the situation. The men were speaking on the other room, you heard it as low whispers, along with the water splashed onto the porcelain, intercepted by Catfish's thick fingers.

His dark brown t-shirt expanded over his large back, material so thin you could trace the outline of each bulging muscle; as he leaned over the edge of the filling tub, a peak of flesh showed from the space between the shirt and his worn out boxers. He smelled musky, hidden under a layer of what you could tell was cheaper version of your father's perfume.

The sole idea brought tears into your eyes, stinging their way down your cheeks as you sniffled lightly. He pushed his shoulders back, tensing at the sound, but didn't say anything.

They were dead, that you were almost sure about, bodies were scattered everywhere and guns were going off madly as you ran away. You didn't even get to say goodbye, slipping out of your comfy bed that very own morning to go get coffee down the street before the alarms went off. You ran, because you knew the alarm meant you had to.

The bathtub creaked as Catfish used it to leverage himself up. He dried himself on the itchy hand towel, and turned to face you, but his eyes didn't meet yours.

"Water's cold, sorry for that." He muttered, sincerely. He stepped aside, showing you the half filled bathtub. Your thighs pressed together, sticky mess pooling and drying flaky upon your damp skin; your hands clutched onto the jean jacket as you pressed it as closed as possibly.

Catfish scanned the room, as if checking everything was in place before he moved to the door. "Gonna see if I can give you something to change onto."

Not because of finding something, but if he was allowed to. That went unsaid, and you kept silent as the door creaked shut. For some seconds, you froze, testing the strength of your strained legs or expecting something else to happen. But the more you looked at the tub, you knew you had to get this done with.

What could happen if you took too much time?

You slipped your jacket off, biding goodbye to the last trace of your scent as the cold autumn air bit at your exposed skin. The soap felt greasy and thick against your hand, and your mind dumbly wondered if it could cause any bad reaction against your skin, but the idea of being dirty disgusted you more.

You bit a hiss as you stepped onto the cold water, sinking in quickly to avoid further discomfort. The icy water aching at any pain in your body, but it took away any dirt and sweat as you lathered the soap against your body. You didn't dare to look between your thighs as you rubbed at them underneath the water.

And then you dropped the soap, letting it sink to the bottom as your fingers ghosted over your core. You still felt him, deep inside you, and you hesitated to rub there, to try and clean any trace.

Your mind clawed towards the inevitable future as your shoulders slumped against the cool porcelain, as you scratched the shampoo into the knotted hair, careful on the spots that had been tugged. Some stray hairs tied around your fingers as you attempted to comb it. Once you believed you had finished, you let your eyes closed.

Would they be mad if you stayed here?

For a brief second you allowed yourself to relax, finding comfort in momentary stillness. The door creaked open, making you jump and slosh the water around. It had turned grayish, and you felt your hands shot to cover your bare chest.

Big, puppy dog eyes peeked through the door. He had taken of his cap, and his dark brown hair curled almost in shape. He held a dark bunch of fabric in his hand, and he stretched his upper body to settle it in the toilet lid.

"I'll be waiting outside, no hurry." He mumbled, softly, eyes reassuring and voice barely above a whisper. "Joel's already in bed, told me to bring you once you are done."

You nodded. You heard more talking outside the door, but his words had assured you at least some brief respite of the situation. It had brought everything crashing back, your vulnerability, and you took a deep breathe as you begun emptying the tub.

As the water swirled, you realized you didn't felt clean enough. With shaking fingers you popped the stopper back in and turned the faucet back on.

It pooled around your feet, cold no longer bothering you as you pulled your knees onto your chest, pressing your under eyes against the scratched skin.

Some seconds more, some more seconds of ignoring what was happening to you, you wondered if this was going to become an usual occurrence before the door hinges cried in protest.

You sighed, knowing you had possibly exceded your time in peace as you begun to rise.

"F-fuck you!" Was bellowed, and your head snapped to the door.

A sharp cackle followed that, and the scene unfolded.

Catfish's face was red as it bulged beneath Marcus' imposing bicep, knees folding under the pressure. Whiskey limited your view, body connected the door frame and the knob as he stepped in, too busy laughing at his fellow Raider to look at you. Beside him, Javier leaned against said frame, Cheshire cat grin pulling under his mustache as his eyes narrowed at you.

He pushed the laughing Whiskey into the bathroom, not before shooting Marcus' a smile over his shoulder as Catfish struggled against his confines. A hand was clamped over his mouth, keeping his gaze forcefully fixed upon you.

They neared the tub, eyeing the streaming faucet with intrigue. As you stared at them, slotting your body as far as possible into the tub, you realized they had changed into night clothes.

It gave you a small reminder of your guy friends back into the community, pijama pants and old t-shirts, though their eyes told a different story. Dark and blown out.

You felt Whiskey's breath against your back, making you jolt forward, coming face to face with Javier. Your hands came to grasp at the sides of the tub, knuckles turning white.

"Easy there," Javier commanded, voice stern. His hand dipped into the puddle forming by hour feet, fingers swirling on the water. "It's cold baby, want me to warm it up for you?"

Your head shook on itself, rapidly, frantically. He shifted, jaw ticking to Whiskey behind you. His arms slithered slowly around your collarbones, pulling your crouched back straight against the flannel of his pijama shirt. Your arms stuck to your sides at the armpits, incapacitating you as the heel of your feet kicked splashed water around.

"Can't fuck you without Joel's approval," Javier grunted, wet fingers tracing up your naked thigh as his eyes ransacked your form. Whiskey's grip pulled taught at your breasts, nipples erect and pruned from the freezing water, and you couldn't close your legs without slipping further into the bath and straining your neck. "Should have done it when I found you, you were already in all fours, recall?"

You slammed your head back in panic, Whiskey barely dodging it as he nosed along your neck; he growled at you. You clenched your thighs as best as you could, but Javier was stronger. Elbow pressed against one knee and his hand splayed against the other, forcing you an arm width open for him.

His other hand, the one that was previously tracing up your thigh, lowered dangerously, tracing two fingers through the seam of your sex.

You whined, Whiskey’s breathe fanning over your cheek as a single tear slid through it. It all felt tense, their hands on you, the faint noises of rustling behind you as Catfish attempted to escape Marcus’ grip, and their hot gazes upon you.

Two fingers pulled your lips apart, exposing you if possibly further to the cold air of the bathroom. Javier bit his lower lip, sighing as warmth spread up his neck.

Not even then, as you bathed yourself, you had peace.

His digits prodded at your hole, swollen and pink from Joel’s cock, yet they slipped in with some protest. A louder yelp escaped your lips, Javier giving Whiskey a warning through his knitted eyebrows. The man pressed a big, calloused hand to your lips, and you understood their boss possibly hadn’t given them permission for this.

Experimentally, Javier pushed his fingers to the last knuckle, pads pushing against your walls as they felt around. Searching, they were, along his eyes; searching for something in your expression.

“How is she?” Whiskey whispered, voice laced with amusement.

“Still fucking tight.” Javier growled ferociously, retrieving his fingers and working them back in slowly at first.

A small, hidden moan bounced against Whiskey’s palm, and your eyelids shut close. There was something about the way he was curling his fingers, against something just below your mound, that sent your legs shivering. Tears slipped into his hand, shame, breathing hard by his powerful grip upon your chest.

They shared a mischievous smile, almost juvenile in a way.

“Don’t cry, puppy.” He cooed, but the mockery made you cry harder. “Just gonna make this pussy cum.”

He leaned forward and spat, straining his shoulders from the position. His thumb scooped up the spit and pressed at the apex of your core, beginning to rub careful circles as his hand begun thrusting harder into you, curling quicker.

You felt the knot tighten at your stomach, toes curling and you tried, one last time, to get away. Useless.

“Make it quick.” Marcus hissed, a thin layer of sweat shining over his forehead. Catfish hadn’t stop struggling, vein popping at his forehead.

He didn’t answer, but his ministrations became more forceful, sending your eyes rolling back as you felt wetness spread, coat his fingers.

A sloppy kiss on your collarbone sent you spiraling, biting painfully on your lip as you exposed more of your neck to the man behind you. The knot snapped, walls clenching around Javier’s fingers as they fucked you through your high. Pride resounded in his chest.

The arm that was spreading you dislocated from your knees, curling around your quavering thigh as you squirmed away, ministrations becoming too much.

It hurt, though pleasure laced on the action you felt raw, vulnerable, small. You felt your breathe heaving, growing agitated with the passing seconds. Fear clouded your features, mind chanting please make it stop over and over.

As if hearing your thoughts, Javier slowly pulled out his fingers, cleaning them in the sloshing water and then his pijama pants. He relished in the way your eyes clouded with tears and how helpless you looked, the grin on his face told you so.

You felt the arms around you loosen, and sobs wrecked through your body as the hand came off. From the corner of your eyes, Marcus let Catfish go, but the man just ticked his jaw at him, unable to say more.

A grip on your chin stopped you from casting your eyes downwards, and Javier studied how red your lips looked, puffy from crying.

“Give me a kiss.” He ordered, though his voice was sultry. You swallowed hard, shame tinting your cheeks as you blinked at him.

Cocking his head, he grinned even wider. “Have you never…?”

The threat lingered in the air, Whiskey’s stubble rubbing against your neck.

The hand on your chin rose to cup your cheek, keeping you still as he rolled on the balls of his feet, mouth parted before smashing his lips onto yours.

You whimpered at the feeling of his tongue entering your mouth, taking a claim. Teeth clashing against teeth, Javier coating your mouth with his own saliva, and how the bathtub dug into your back as you tried to escape away, just falling deeper into Whiskey’s spread arms.

He pulled away, leaving a string attached as he revisited for a quick peck, enamored with the taste of your lips. His hand smoothed over your cheek, wiping tears carelessly.

He stood up, and Whiskey followed him, knees cracking. You balled up, face hidden in your knees as muscles tensed and ached.

You heard their chuckles as they left, only one pair of eyes on you now. Catfish groaned into his hand, fist slamming against the counter, sending you flinching.

He softened as he turned on his heel, spreading the towel for you. He could tell you were scared, your eyes looking up at him through your wet lashes, but he just turned his head to the side.

You stood up, droplets cascading from your body as he draped the thick, coarse material over your form. You stepped out of the tub, breathe hitching as you waited for his next move.

He shook the hairbrush in your face for you to take it, and rested the t-shirt and a new toothbrush on the counter as he turned around, head planted to the door.

You stole glances of his broad form as you brushed your hair as best you could, and as you slipped into the y-shirt; it was old and stretched out, yet smelled good. You could tell it was Catfish’s, by the perfume.

You spat out the remaining toothpaste and propped the toothbrush on the empty holder, hand daring to tap at his back.

He gave an off the shoulder glance before fully turning around, quickly scanning your form. How silent you were irked him.

“Gonna take you to Joel’s room.” He grunted, jaw tensing. Though his eyes told a different story; sad and puppy like, warm brown.

You nodded, in defeat. He stopped in his tracks, hand resting at the door knob.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

You felt it slip out of your tongue almost uncharacteristically, just your first name. What good could your surname do at this point?

“Pretty.”

He opened the door, hand once again finding your hip. The lights outside the corridor were off, and the house was silent.

You passed through doors and doors, realizing the state of the house as you stepped in front of the last one. It wasn't like your house, but it was big, not dirty but time had taken its toll. You wondered if they had found it like this, dilapidated wall paper and humidity splattered on the ceilings, or if they had been there for long enough.

Catching you gawking, Catfish murmured over his shoulder. "If you are looking for a way out, I'll tell ya now, they won't allow it."

You swallowed, the idea hadn't even crossed your mind. In all honesty, most of the thoughts you were having were blank.

Catfish knocked on the door, and you heard a faint “come in” grunted.

Inside the room, Joel lay in a king size bed, silk navy sheets carefully done beneath him. You recognized them from the shop back in your community. His thighs were strapped in flannel, and his muscles bulged through a thin tank top. The dim light of a bedside light illuminated his marred skin, shining lightly. At the other end of the room was a door and a window. Through the curtains you saw the deep, treacherous forest, a pool of black and green.

He looked up from the book he had dwarfed in his hands, and his brows furrowed.

“Didn’t tell you to dress her.” He commented, voice sharp.

Catfish sighed. “It’s just a t-shirt.”

Joel let the book on his nightstand, arms crossing as he glared at the defiance. “You can take it, she won’t be needing it.”

Your adverted gaze rose to look at Catfish, but his fingers still wrapped around the hem of the shirt. He peeled it off, gently, before looking once more at Joel.

“That’s it, thank you, Frankie.”

Your mind buzzed, lips parting as Catfish turned on his heel and closed the door behind him.

“Come here.” You heard, forcing you to face once more the man in the bed.

Your legs wouldn’t budge. His eyebrow shifted, threateningly. You felt your lower lip jut out, swallowing a sob.

His muscles tensed, and you forced yourself to take a step closer in fear he was going to stand up. Another, and another, your naked knees grazed the bed.

He nudged to the space of the bed beside him.

Tag list:

@tateypots

perhaps you wanna read @koshkaj-blog @paink1llerf0rm1ller @oldloganslittleslut

Pedro Pascal Characters

Main Rec Masterlist

The Mandalorian

Narcos

Triple Frontier

WW84

Kingsman 2

Game of Thrones

The Mentalist

Prospect

The Great Wall

Forgotten {Javier Peña x Reader}

A/N: So this came to me in the dead of night basically xD. Yes I know I have other series and requests and so much more but this is what is inspiring me at the moment so I grasped this inspiration in my cold dead hands and refuse to let it go. It’s just going to be a little mini series (2-3 more parts)! I hope you all enjoy!

Summary: After a tragic accident befalls Javier while on the Job, he wakes up 2 months later in the hospital with no memory of his life in Colombia or the wife sitting by his side. You and Javier struggle to deal with his memory loss as you are forced to head back home to the states.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, sad, so sad. and that’s really it for this part folks.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Silence was not something you were used to being with Javi. You never got silence while in Colombia because of the constant gunfire or the wailing of sirens. But you also never got silence because of the light conversation from Steve and Javi in the living room, or the laughter that Connie let out as you both baked cookies together …

Now, silence had become your begrudging best friend. 

It was the only thing that surrounded you on the flight home from Colombia. The man sitting next to you, your husband, offering nothing more than an ‘excuse me’ when he had to get up once to go to the bathroom. You had to hold back tears as you both stood in silence at the luggage claim, cursing every god there was for doing this to you and the man you love, taking away the only happiness either of you have had in a long time. 

Although…you suppose it doesn’t bother Javier much. He can’t even remember the happiness he lost since the accident almost 3 months ago. 

He was in a coma for 2 and a half months, and the doctors weren’t sure he’d ever wake up. So, when he did, a collective breath of relief was released throughout the entire room, remembering the feeling of utter joy when his eyes had fluttered open. But most of all, you remember the feeling of your heart crumbling in your chest when he fixed you with a confused look, uttering -

“Who are you?”

Keep reading

A Javier Peña x Reader Romance Story

curriculum vitae: noun cur·ric·u·la vi·tae Latin. the course of one’s life.

Abstract: After leaving Colombia and retiring from the DEA, Javier Peña steps into a new role as a university professor. A woman with multiple degrees and more books than you can count, you meet Javier as you similarly struggle with the future of your career. Despite your odds, the two of you find something you need in each other during uncertain times.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (fem; no y/n)

… . …

Table of Contents

Prologue | 1.8k | M    

Chapter One | 2.4k | M    

Chapter Two | 2.5k | M

Chapter Three | 3.1k | M

Chapter Four | 4.1k | M

Chapter Five | 3.2k | M

Chapter Six | 4.1k | M

Chapter Seven | 5.5k | E

Chapter Eight | 4.3k | E

Chapter Nine | 4.3k | E

Chapter Ten | 7.1k | E

Chapter Eleven | 4.2k | M

Chapter Twelve | 8.1k | E

Chapter Thirteen | 4.2k | E

Chapter Fourteen | 4.1k | M

Chapter Fifteen | 7.0k | E

Chapter Sixteen | 3.6k | E

Chapter Seventeen | 3.4 | E

Chapter Eighteen | Coming Soon!

… . …

Supplementary Materials

I’ve been fortunate enough to have a few friends make things for CV – which still blows my mind! These are links to a couple of gorgeous CV-inspired moodboards. Thank you all so much for your beautiful creations!

Moodboard by @hystericalmedicine​

Moodboard by @mrpascals​

Chapter 12 Moodboard by @b0n-chann

CV Aesthetics

Late Morning | CV Drabble | 434 | T

Headcanons for CV: Javier and Love, That Time of the Month, Another Bad Day

Fall Quarter Playlist

… . …

My Masterlist

Join My Tag List

… . …

💕Tiff

Rushingly Bittersweet, the series index

moodboard by me

Main Masterlist // Playlist for the main story // ao3

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count for the main story: +86.1k (so far)

The story:

Part 1: the meeting

Part 2: the struggle

Part 3: the warning  

Part 4: the realization

Part 5: the raid                          

Part 6: the handbrush

Part 7: the question                    

Part 8: the kiss

Part 9: the rush                           

Part 10: the trip

Part 11: the dayoff                     

Part 12: the union

Part 13: the backstory               

Part 14: the shitshow

Part 15: the finding                    

Part 16: the reality

Part 17: the rescue                                 

Part 18: the recognition

Part 19: the confession                                 

Part 20: the truth

Part 21: the decision              

Part 22: the aftershock

Part 23: the letter                           

Part 24

Part 25

After RushBit: (Coming soon…)

Past Grievances and Turning Points

Clashing Times

Unexpected Meal

Awkward Encounters

Tertulia Familiar

The One you Call Home

Moonlit Room

Formalities and Introductions

Part 25 goes here in the timeline.

Breakfast for two

Mamá’s inheritance

Rubbing Noses

Chocolate y Nuez

Children’s Game:

Summary: Javi and you go to the county fair… that’s basically it. (1.9k words)

Bull’s eye!

The Little Goddess of Love

…

Extras:

Javier’s views of the War on Drugs, as a mexican-american.

Javier in the aftermath of his first kill on the job.

The Letter; from part 23.

A Good Man - Complete Universe Masterlist

Below are all the parts to AGM, and the little companion pieces for their universe. I love them so much, and I hope you enjoy!

*Amazing gif by the most wonderful @bestintheparsec​!

»»————-　♡　————-««

A Good Man:

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

Slices of Life:

THE SWEETEST SINS 

AT THE CARNIVAL

HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS

ONLY YOU

BABY STEPS

»»————-　♡　————-««

Javier Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Chapter 1: Noise

Part of the “Illicit Limerence” series.

Pairing: Javier Peña (towards the end of season one) x F!Reader

Summary: The reader and Javier find themselves in his bed more and more often, but when the reader decides to confront her emotions and put a halt to their meetings, everything seems to just go more and more south.

Warnings: swearing, violence, mention of vomiting and sickness, angst, smut 18+

Masterlist

Next chapter

“Leaving so soon?”, he questioned, sheets barely covering his naked figure.

You looked over your shoulder as you zipped up your pencil skirt. “I’d rather not have Murphy see me walk out of here”, you muttered, stuffing your blouse into the waistband.

He chuckled lowly, sitting up to press a series of kisses to the back of your neck. “Murphy is a blind hillbilly, princesa, just stay a little while longer”, he cooed, gently sucking on the sensitive skin of your throat.

Despite wanting to give in to his sweet promises and lustful words, you knew better. This was just the type of man he was, purely driven by sex and his own libido. So you took a deep breath and shied away from his sinful touches. “I’ll see you at the office Peña”, you sighed, gathering your purse from the floor and heading for the front door.

Keep reading

~ Better Love ~

A Javier Peña x Reader AU Series

LINK TO SPACEDAD’S GENERAL MASTERLIST

Summary: He’s a DEA Agent. You work for the CIA. You’re an unstoppable force. He’s an immovable object. A collision between you is inevitable. The fallout will be monumental. Slices of life from your adventures with Peña in Colombia. 

Genre: smut, action/adventure, angst, h/c, slice of life

Warnings: 18+, nsfw. smut, violence, alcohol, angst. please heed the warnings on the individual works.

A/N: Hi, friends, and welcome to my dumpster fire! Javi and Ears are my actual beating heart, and I am so excited to share their story. Better Love is a Narcos season two (for now) romance between Javier Peña and Hannah “Ears” Aarons, a second person OFC/reader insert character. The series is is still in progress and updating pretty regularly, and I have many, many more plans for Javi and Ears, so stay tuned! Title taken from Hozier’s “Better Love.”

FICS ARE POSTED IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

♠

The Rules of Engagement

multi-chapter, complete. (slow-burn, sexual tension, angst, a little bit of h/c) He’s a DEA agent. You work with Centra Spike. Peña’s not your boss, exactly, but you’ve been fwb long enough that certain people are starting to think of you as An Item, and that just won’t do. 

 part one | part two | part three | part four | part five 

Aftershocks 

multi-chapter, complete. (h/c, fluff) That bomb fucked you up a little more than you thought.

 part one | part two | part three | part four | part five 

Yours

multi-chapter, complete. Javi takes you to a Christmas party. sneak peek here.

part one | part two | part three

Bang 

Slice of life one-shot. Warnings for detailed discussions of handing a gun. Find a quick summary of Bang here if you’d prefer to skip the weapons but still keep track of Javi and Ears. Steve Murphy POV.

| bang |

The Shoebox

plot, slice of life, soft, soft fluff and smut. it’s all in this fic, folks.

| the shoebox |

Shit Hits the Fan

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Javier POV, mostly.

| shit hits the fan |

The White Room

Bill Stechner makes his move. You didn’t even see it coming.

| the white room |

These Hands are Magic

Javier Peña spoils you rotten.

| these hands are magic |

Dangerous

Javier worries about you.

| dangerous |

If I Fall 

Life in Colombia never goes quite as planned. multi-chapter, in progress. Sneak peeks here and here

| if i fall masterlist |

♠

Thots, Meta, and Headcanons

Keep reading

Narcos - Fic Recommendations

Main Rec Masterlist

@autumnleaves1991-blog

Your My Best Friend -> Javier and you had been best friends since Kindergarten, and you’d been secretly in love with him for years. The night before his wedding to Lorraine, you sleep together, sparking him to leave Lorraine, and you. Ten years later Javier returns home before leaving again for Cali and tries to fix the mess he left. But, passions run high and alcohol flows and you can’t resist falling back in to bed with him, the only thing you didn’t plan was ending up married to him.

@jollyrancher87

Thunder: Part 1 / Part 2 -> a Thunderstorm knocks out the power in Bogota, Javi does his best to comfort his scared and timid wife bit it leads to more than you expected.

freedomatsea (on AO3) (Hopelikethesun)

Maybe Tomorrow, Maybe Forever -> This universe follows Javier and his partner (Reader) as they navigate becoming parents following a one night stand after Steve Murphy left the DEA.

@disgruntledspacedad

The Better Love series -> He’s a DEA Agent. You work with Centra Spike. You’re an unstoppable force. He’s an immovable object. A collision between you is inevitable. The fallout will be monumental. Slices of life from your adventures with Peña in Colombia. Javier Peña x fem!reader/OC (Ears)

@echo-hiraeth

Illicit Limerence series -> The reader and Javier find themselves in his bed more and more often, but when the reader decides to confront her emotions and put a halt to their meetings, everything seems to just go more and more south.

@forever-rogue

A Good Man -> Professor! Javi x Reader

@danniburgh

Rushingly Bittersweet -> reader is transferred to Colombia after a long time stationed in Mexico, Javier is really intrigued by her as she just seems way too… perfect. He doesn’t want to fall in love but it may be too late to stop it.

@tiffdawg

curriculum vitae -> After leaving Colombia and retiring from the DEA, Javier Peña steps into a new role as a university professor. A woman with multiple degrees and more books than you can count, you meet Javier as you similarly struggle with the future of your career. Despite your odds, the two of you find something you need in each other during uncertain times.

@aerynwrites

Forgotten series Part 1 / Part 2 -> Following an accident while working with the DEA in Colombia, Javier awake in the hospital with no memory of his time in Colombia or his marriage to reader. You and Javier are forced to endure the hardships of this obstacle as you head back to the states to try and piece back together the life you had.

Fan Fic Masterlist

All These are of fan fics that I like

Pedro Pascal Characters

Peaky Blinders

Harry Potter

Stranger Things

Loki

House of The Dragon

You’re My Best Friend Series

Summary: Javier and you had been best friends since Kindergarten, and you’d been secretly in love with him for years. The night before his wedding to Lorraine, you sleep together, sparking him to leave Lorraine, and you. Ten years later Javier returns home before leaving again for Cali and tries to fix the mess he left. But, passions run high and alcohol flows and you can’t resist falling back in to bed with him, the only thing you didn’t plan was ending up married to him.

This story is told in a series of Flashbacks and follows the events of Season 3 of Narcos when Javi returns to Colombia to take down the Cali Cartel.  

Moodboard made by my darling friend/amazing writer @ghostwiththemostbitch​ 

Pairing: Javier Peña x F! Reader

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 

Chapter 6 

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9 

Javi x Bestie Asks (You’re My Best Friend Universe)

How Bestie Got into Flowers

Passing Notes in Class

Javi x Bestie Questions

Questions Part 2

Rebellious

Javi & Bestie getting drunk

Watching a Sports Game

Skipping Class

Besties First Boyfriend

Getting Stuck in the Library  

scenes from a marriage

tags: nameless oc x javier peña, nameless oc x javier pena yearning, angst ? rating: e ( explicit ) warnings: smut, language, mentions of violence and drugs. word count: 2k+ summary: javier peña is a dea agent, teetering on the edge of finding pablo escobar every second of the day, and yet always being so far away from it too. as if life is not complicated or risky enough as he partakes in this search, javier finds himself falling in love amidst all of the chaos. these are the scenes of a marriage, with all of it’s trials and tribulations, set in colombia, circa 1980–1993. notes: the name of this is definitely is taken from the tv show scenes from a marriage, but it has very little to do with it other than the fact that i thought it was an interesting concept to put a relationship between two people in a bottle and inspect it. this also rose from my desire to write something about colombia that extended beyond just pablo and the chase for him. that’s not to say this won’t cover that, because it is a story about javi after all, but it’s not going to be the central focus on the story. i hope you all like it! i think it’s going to be a ten part series. original gif by: @anakin-skywalker​

Scene One: The Beauty That Lurks

The designs of misfortune carve themselves in the woodwork that is Colombia, marking and scarring a beautiful country for the sake of one man’s empire.

Pablo is everywhere—he is the country. Every newspaper boasts his mug, every politician knows his name, and every citizen somehow becomes mere background characters in this over-sized game of cat and mouse that the government is engaging in with him.

The color of the country is not lost, though; it’s citizens are here, it’s traditions prosper. The thick blanket of tragedy that threatens to spill over has yet to strangle the beauty of it all. Corruption and drugs and lies—they are all nothing in a land full of green, so wondrous and large and bright when not saturated by the workings of humanity.

Sometimes though, in the smaller corners of the country where humanity lingers, beauty finds itself tucked away, like in cries of a baby born to a couple who care immensely, not just about themselves, but it all; in familial dinners that still take place and pride themselves on the joy they still bring; and even in the subtle flirtation of two young people in a bar.

Keep reading

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Reader

The Many Faces of Love (completed): The reader and Din are in love and on Mandalore waiting to be married. Yet until that day comes, they cannot see each other`s face and spend their nights together in darkness. How do they react on their wedding night when they see each other for the first time? smut*

Part 1* Part 2 Part 3Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8*

Blind Pleasure: The reader thinks the Mandalorian tolerates her for the purpose of her looking after the child. During a bounty hunt, Mando leaves the reader and the kid in a cantina with a comm. They run into trouble and Mando saves the day…what happens when they forget to turn off the comms when they return to the ship? (smut)

Hungry Eyes: Din can’t help but watch you move around the Razorcrest in the dress you wore for catching a bounty…what happens when he can’t keep his eyes off of you? (smut)

A Mandalorian Drabble

Another Mandalorian Drabble

Another Mandalorian Drabble

Clumsy: Request- Reader doesn’t know what is happening but Mando knows what Cara is up to by the way Cara always take care of Yoda so you two can get some alone time. It crescendos as Cara basically makes reader trip into Mando’s arm making Mando a flustering mess and the reader making him having to explain finally what Cara has been trying to do these past few months

To Be Alone: The reader is the daughter of an Imperial general who has hired the Mandalorian to escort his daughter to her betrothed in Alderaan. The job is simple but what happens when feelings emerge and things get complicated?

Money For Nothing: Based around Ep 6 “The Prisoner” - When the Mandalorian accepts the mission from Ran, he is thrust back into a life he thought he left behind. How did he endure the immoral morons back then? Breaking into the prison is a breeze but what happens when Qin isn`t the only prisoner Din discovers locked up on the New Republic ship? (smut)

Purple Haze: Din has had enough, he has to escape. He visits the local brothel on the planet you are currently docked on, and seeks comfort from a stranger. What happens when he is offered something he yearns for: the chance to be with you? (smut)

Your Love Is My Drug: Din and the reader have been married for a couple of months and Din makes it his mission to show her how much he loves her every night by worshipping her body. However, the reader can see the glint in his eye whenever she handles the cuffs for the bounties and the silent yearning to take her and show her who she belongs to when a local gets a little suggestive. She finally confronts him about it and together, they decide to experiment and hopefully, Din will be able to give into his darkest desires.(smut)

The Marshal: Follows The Mandalorian and his mechanic through S2E1 (spoilers and smut)

Javier Peña x Reader

Falling: Based off of the song Falling by Harry Styles. (smuttish)

Someone You Loved: Javi is back in Laredo and sees Lorraine. He also sees his best friend from childhood, Y/N. Old feelings are reignited but what will Javi do when he decides to head back to Colombia? (smut)

El Baño: The reader is undercover for the CIA and pretending to be the new girlfriend of Don Berna. When a certain DEA agent gets involved with Los Pepes, he also struggles with the risky business of lusting after the girlfriend of a narco (smut)

Por Amarte (Part Two of El Baño): Javier and the reader are back in the United States and getting used to life as civilians. This is what happens after the crazy events in Colombia between Y/N and Javi as they navigate a new life together (smut)

Dímelo (Part Three of El Baño): Javier and the reader arrive back in Colombia to hunt down the Cali cartel. What happens when things get more complicated than they ever imagined? (smut)

Nunca Te Olvidaré (Part Four of El Baño): Javier and the reader have a lot of things to contend with while Javi attempts to take down the Cali Cartel. Will they be able to stay strong when their pasts come back to haunt them? Or will their happy ending fade away before they can make it back to Texas? (smut)

Four Weddings and a Funeral (On Hiatus): Based on Four Weddings and a Funeral. Javier sees you again at the wedding of your high school friends and the old spark you once had is reignited. Will it survive the evening or will it burn out before he heads back to the DEA Headquarters in Houston? (smut)

Part 1*

Motivation: Javier, Steve and Y/N have a late night in the office reviewing files for new intel and decide to call it a night before heading to the local bar. Y/N notices something different about how Javier reacts to what she says and decides to act on the desire she has been hiding for the past year (smut)

The Casanova of Bogatá: The reader and Javier are friends with benefits. While working at the CEA department, a few of the guys compare Y/N to the informants Javier “works with.” What will Y/N do when Javier comes over that evening with a pizza and a six pack of beer? (smut)

Catch Sicarios, Not Feelings: It’s Javier’s first day back at the Embassy and along with being the new head of the DEA, he also gains an assistant. Javier dismisses Y/N and tells her he doesn’t need an assistant to fetch him coffee but what happens when she turns out to be the best asset he could ever wish for - both professionally and personally? (smut)

Háblame Sucio: The reader and Javi are secretly friends-with-benefits but their partner Steve has no idea. One humid day, you are waiting for Carrillo and Javier takes advantage of the free time…much to Steve’s annoyance (smut)

Fix You (On Hiatus): Two lonely souls seek out the same therapist and meet in the waiting room: one has mandatory sessions and suffers from insomnia, the other has returned from Colombia and reluctantly seeks help to battle his own demons. Will they be able to find what they are looking for from their therapy sessions and maybe, along the way, they find the peace they yearn for in each other?

Part 1

Teach Me Tonight (Complete):  Y/N and Javier both have things to talk about when he visits her apartment one night. Y/N tells her partner about her crush on Brad from the CIA and reveals that she is a virgin and has barely been kissed. She wants to make sure she can impress Brad and asks Javier to educate her on all things sex and seduction (smut *)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 4.5 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

Just Push Play (Part of Teach Me Tonight): Javier and Y/N decide to watch a porno together and Y/N suggests using the camcorder her dad bought her for Christmas to record their own version for Javier to watch when he goes out of town (smut)

Teach Me Tonight Drabble 1 (smut)

Only The Good Die Young: When Javier Peña returns from Colombia, he struggles with the idea of his soul being tarnished by the questionable decisions he made to catch Escobar and the Cali Cartel. He seeks solace from the religion his mother followed before her death but instead finds you, the niece of Father O’Leary, and someone so innocent, Javier struggles to ignore the pull he feels towards you until one night in a shitty bar changes everything (smut)

One Day At A Time: What if Javier never met Lorraine and he never left her at the altar? What if it was you who left him on your wedding day? And when he returns to Laredo after being dismissed from the DEA, he sees you again at Danny’s wedding. Only when he sees you, you aren’t alone.

Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door:  Javier believed you were dead. He’d heard the gunshots, arrived on the scene to find you missing, and never found a body so he was certain that Escobar’s men had taken you away. He is shocked when he finds you again - alive- and in the place he least expected. After months of grieving your death, he wants answers. (smut)

Oberyn Martell x Reader

The Rose and the Viper: Margaery is getting married to Joffrey and you are heading to Kings Landing with your grandmother, Olenna for the celebrations. As the unmarried, older sister to the bride, rumours swirl about you and your single status. Upon your arrival to the capital, you head to the baths to clean up and relax- what happens when a certain Dornish prince enters the ladies baths by accident and you invite him to join you? (smut)

You Should See Me In A Crown: Oberyn and his wife remain in King’s Landing for Oberyn to participate in Tyrion’s trial. During their stay in the Red Keep, Y/N is drawn the Iron Throne and one day Oberyn finds her in the throne room and well…let’s just say he indulges in a fantasy he has involving the Iron Throne. (smut)

The Golden Rose: Oberyn and Ellaria visit their preferred brothel in Sunspear searching for the perfect woman to continue Oberyn’s legacy. Ellaria is no longer able to conceive so she assists Oberyn in finding the best candidate to have his ninth child. When the brothel owner brings you into the room, Oberyn and Ellaria immediately know they have found the perfect one. (smut)

Agent Whiskey x Reader

Train Kept A Rollin: Whiskey and Prosecco are assigned to gather intel from a married couple while pretending to be married themselves. There is just one problem: the Statesman agents can`t stand each other - how the hell are they going to act married?

Maxwell Lord x Reader

What’s Love Got To Do With It (complete): Maxwell Lord is successful, handsome and can have anything he wants with a snap of his fingers. He is living the American dream until his mother turns his life upside down by going behind his back to organize an arranged marriage to help take Chimtech Consortium to new heights. The only thing worse than not being in control is that his bride-to-be is you, the one person he cannot stand (smut)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 6.5 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

WLGTDWI Drabble #1

WLGTDWi Drabble #2

WLGTDWI Drabble #3

Frankie Morales x Reader

Always Be My Maybe (Complete) Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales has sworn off of relationships. He had his heart broken too many times in the past and he has learned his lesson. He knows that no woman could possibly love him enough to sit around and wait for him to come back from missions with no word if he is dead or alive so he decides to stay single and save everyone the trouble. However, his steely resolve disintegrates when he is getting drinks with Pope and notices you across the room. What happens when one night changes everything? (smut in most chapters)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24

Marcus Pike x Reader

Happy Birthday Mrs. Pike: It’s your birthday and a certain FBI agent wakes you up to show you how much he loves you. (smut)

Thunder ⛈

Javier Peña x Reader

Summary: A huge storm rocks Bogota, knocking out the power. Javi has his hands full trying to soothe his frightened wife, but his patience is pretty thin, and it leads to more than she expected.

Warnings: Rough!Javi, rough sex with a timid inexperienced reader. Biting, hair pulling, Think of THAT scene in season 2...you know what I mean👀👀. Mentions of a controlling Parental figure, self doubt. VERY outdated thoughts on being a wife/women. Also age gap kinda.

Word count: 5.5k+.....i know. I write way too much.

A.N.: So this is part one of two, and I was almost going to make this as an OFC, but then I'd have to rewrite the whole thing and...no. But I am planning on turning this into a series, starting with how the two of them met, because let's face it...how the hell is Javi with a girl like this?

As the lights flickered at the Embassy, Javier realized he should have listened to you this morning. You warned him the weather was going to be bad today, but he didn't want to listen. You were standing by the open sliding glass door to the balcony, coffee in hand, watching the sun rise over Bogota. He had just stepped out of the bathroom, towl around his waist, hair still dripping from his shower, yawning, as he rounded the corner and saw you. You were awash in a pinkish golden light as you watched the horizon, making him stop in his tracks, taking you in. He quietly came to your side and placed a kiss to the top of your head, before heading into the kitchenette to grab a cup of coffee for himself.

"Come home early tonight, Javi." You had told him sternly.

He sighed, annoyed, as he put the carafe down a little harder than he ment to. "Why?" He grumbled

"The sky, look at it." He came back to your side, to see the clouds were a mix of firey oranges and blood reds. He looked back to you, a slightly perplexed look on his face, he always doubted your superstitions.

"What about it? Does that mean 'Bad Luck' where your from?" He asked, rubbing his sleepy face.

"Not exactly," you said softly, eyes fixed to the sky,"Bad weather. When the sky would turn this red in the morning we would always bring the goats inside."

He shook his head and mumbled about you being a 'Hillbilly' before walking away from you.

"Hillbilly?" You asked, eyes narrowed as you watched him return to the kitchen,"What does that mean?"

"The news said it's only going to rain today." He said matter of factly, ignoreing your question."You always think too much."

You only frowned at him, brows furrowed,"What do they know?"

Now, at quarter to 4, he was grabbing his keys and putting on his coat. Ready to bolt out of the Embassy, curseing to himself for not listening to you. Knowing he was going to be chewed out completely by you, knowing you were alone, at home, scared.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Murphy asked as he watched him gather his things.

"Home, if the powers flickering here than the power in our building is definitely out. I'm not leaving my Wife home alone in this."

"This?" Murphy scoffed," It's barely even drizzling-" he was cut off when the power went out for a second, only to return.

Javi only shook his head, and headed out.

Murphy gave up, and shrugged," Well God Speed...fucking jackass." He mumbled as he returned to his work.

Stepping outside the sky was only overcast above him, a slight drizzle falling through the humid air, granting little relief from the soup thick heat, but off in the distance a thick line of night black clouds crept closer to the city. Deep rumbles of thunder rolled through the air, the storm closing in. You were right, it was going to be bad.

By the time he made it to his block the rain had started coming down in sheets, the streetlights on the block were out, and the windows of the building were all black. He was soaked to the bone as he entered the apartment. The whole space was bathed in a warm glow, your massive collection of prayer candles the only source of light, every flat surface covered in them. He made a note to scold you on the obvious fire hazard this posed, but he was more concerned with finding you in the dim light. He called out to you, locking every lock on the door. The sound of the bedroom door opening got his attention just as you poked your head out.

"Javi?" You sniffled.

He made his way over to you, pulling you to him, not caring that he was drenched "Are you alright?" You nodded and squeezed him, dampening your clothes.

"I just....the thunder...I don't like the thunder. And then the lights went out, and I was alone-" A loud clap of thunder hit, making you jump, crying into his chest. He ushered you over to the couch and made you sit.

He looked around as he took off his jacket, rain water dripping onto the carpet, "This place looks like a Cathedral...or a low budget porno."

You give him a glare that he could barely see in the dim light, but he could definitely feel it. He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, and wrapped it around you before kneeling. His forehead against yours as he stroked your thigh, whispering soft words of comfort as you tried to stop sniffleing like a child.

"Its just a little thunder," he said softly, taking your hands, trying to distract you from the clap that echoed in the air," Its nothing to be afraid of, Ok?"

You collected yourself, drawing in a few shuddering breaths and nodded. He kissed your forehead before standing up, heading to the bedroom to change out of his drenched clothes. He briefly left to check on Connie, instructing you not to answer the door for anyone but him. You didn't want him to leave you alone in the dark, with the storm pounding against the windows, but you understood. Murphy would do the same for you. You just wrapped the quilt around yourself, trying to breath through each rumble, each flash.

You focused on the words Javier said to you. Its just thunder, it can't hurt you, its just noise, but you were relieved when he called to you through the door. You quickly unlocked the door, the deadbolt, and undid the chain. As soon as he stepped through, you resecured the door, Javi even wedging a dining chair under the knob, bracing the door even further.

Connie had declined the offer he gave to stay the night in his apartment, the baby was sound asleep and she didnt want to risk moving her and waking her. He tried to debate her, when the power goes out here it brings out the worst in people; break ins, looting, ect. But she insisted she'd be okay. He gave her the same instructions; bar the door, dont answer for anyone but him or Steve.

As the day drew the two of you sat at the dining room table and he taught you a few of the card games he played as a kid while you both ate cold leftovers and he sipped his whiskey. His hand gripping your thigh whenever a loud crash of thunder made you jump. He kissed your temple, and urged you to focus on the card game in front of you. You snuck glances at him from the corner of your eye,the flickering candlelight reflecting beautifully in his deep brown eyes. You shifted in your seat whenever his attention was pulled to you. Sometimes you wonder if you'll ever get used to his stare.

You were still shy around him, you've been married about half a year, yet you still felt timid. Whenever he would reach to you in the night you would freeze. Not from fear, he never frightened you, it was just his touch was so unfamiliar to you. The feeling of another person's hand on your body was an odd feeling to get used to. You're instinct would take over, making you flinch away, goosebumps breaking out across your skin as he ran a hand up your back. His voice always soft when he asked for you. You always let him, rolling onto your back, your nightgown hitched up around your waist never coming off despite his pleading, the lights off even though he begged to see you. You tried not to make too much noise as he took you, but a breathy moan always left you anyway, making you feel embarrassed.

It took a lot of coaxing from him to get you to be on top, that was only a week ago. You could hear the yearning in his voice. Looking over your shoulder to him, his brown eyes sad. You wanted to say no, that's not how you've been taught to act. But he had a rough week, and he was your husband, you were taught to do as he said. He kept the lights off, your nightgown on, you tried not to make any sounds. But, then he started guiding your hips, making you move in a way you never had before, feeling somthing familiar, your small bundle of nerves grinding against him, makeing you let out an unexpected groan. He half laughed at the sound, urged you on, told you to keep going, how well you were doing. Soon you're head was thrown back as you began to moan and you suddenly didn't mind how hard he thrusted into you. How hard he grabbed your hips, how his hands were everywhere. You weren't sure if you were suppose to enjoy it, but you did. Your mother always told you to lay on your back, and wait till it was over. But it was hard to hold on to that bit of wisdom when he was groaning under you. Now you lay in the dark every night since then, refusing his touch. You layed awake confused, guilt laying heavy on your chest, makeing your stomach ache.

As day drew to evening, you both decied to sleep on the living room floor. You made a nest of sorts out of blankets and pillows next to the couch while he blew out the candles. He agreed to leave one lit on the coffee table, but only until you fell asleep. He had stripped down to just his boxers, and you were in your thinnest nightgown.

"You could just sleep naked." Javi suggested as he laid down. You looked at him, shocked."I'm just kidding." He quickly added, before rolling his eyes.

The thunder was relentless, growing louder, shaking the windows with each roll. Each clap of thunder made you squirm, each violent flash of lightning making you whimper. He rubbed your side, giving you sleepy words of comfort, his hands occasionally dipping down to tease your breast, which you would smack away. He turned with a huff and blew out the candle, ready to sleep. His back was facing you as you lied awake. The thunder echoing through the city, the rain pounding on the windows. A flash lit up the whole room with bright white light, followed immediately with a clap of thunder that shook the building. You cried and flipped over, wrapping your arms around his torso, face buried into his back

He let out a frustrated sigh as he turned to you, this was going to be a long night. He pulled you close, kissing you in between his soft words, stroking your hair as you sniffled. His hand dipped down to your ass, grabbing a handful. You almost slapped his hands away, but the feel of him against you, his lips all over your face and neck made you feel warm, his voice deep and low lulled you into a state of hazy dreaminess.

You gently turned away from him, your back flush against him. His hands continued their groping, his big hands firmly rubbing your hips and side as he kissed your shoulder. You felt heat pool between your legs, shuddering at the feeling, slowly rubbing your thighs together, mindlessly trying to relieve the growing tension. His hands grabbed your hips as he let out a harsh groan in your ear. You felt him begin to stir as your ass had inadvertently started to grind against his growing cock. His hand left your hip and grabbed your chin making you look at him. You could barely see him in the dark, but you could tell his face had grown stern.

"So, you just want some attention then?" He growled,"hm?"

You could only bite your lip, and grind back into him again. Causing him to let out a shaky breath. His grip on your chin grew firmer.

"You're pushing it." He whispered harshly against your ear. You sighed, your eyes fluttering shut. "Or do you like this? Hm?" He let go of your face and pulled the skirt of your nightgown up, dipping his hand into your underwear he let out a harsh breath as he teased your folds, finding you wet. His other hand wound through your hair, giving it a firm tug,"You like this?" He breathed as he slowly circled your clit, you let out a whimpering moan.

"Javier." You sighed as he pulled your panties down tossing them, he frantically pulled down his boxers kicking them off.

"Yeah Baby? What do you want?" He whispered in your ear before placing sloppy kisses on your neck making you groan, his hand teasing your top thigh.

"Javi..." you gasped as he tugged your hair harder,"You, please, mi Vida. Please."

He hooked your leg over his thigh as he took himself in hand, and you let out a shaky breath as you felt him tease your entrance.You could only gasp as he slowly pushed in, hissing in your ear as you were left breathless from the stretch. He let out a deep rumbling grunt as he pushed all the way into you.

"So tight Hermosa." He spat in your ear as you could only wimper from the feel of him,"so wet," he shuddered as he slowly, almost torturous in his movement pulled out," wet for me? Hm?" He teased, pulling all the way from your core before slamming back into you. Makeing you whine,"huh?" He teased softly,"dripping just for me?"

You found your voice and gasped out,"Yes, yes, yes. For you."

He groaned into your neck, kissing it lazily and he began to piston into you, holding you tightly, rocking into you relentlessly, grunting as you could only gasp as the head of his cock struck that place inside that you had only recently discovered. It was enough to make you whine, to cry, but it wasnt enough to make you feel that blissful feeling. You needed more for that, and he knew it. He knew how to get you there, but his fingers were too busy gripping your hair, holding your thigh in place, to touch that special part of you that ached so badly right now. He was too busy, chasing his own pleasure to pay you any mind.

You reached back to him with a sob, your nails digging into his arm.

"Javi! Please! I-"

He slowed, taking in a sharp breath right by your ear, "What? What does my needy little Princessa need, hm?" He almost sounded like he was mocking you. Thunder rolled once more as you both lay still, he was impatiently waiting for you to speak. You lost your voice as you looked over your shoulder to him, lightning streaking across the sky, lighting his face for brief seconds, making him look near monstrous as he scowled at you, teeth bared, his chest rising and falling from him sharp breaths. He yanked your hair harder, makeing you wimper,"What-" he growled, thrusting into you,"Do-" you wimpered,"You-" he hit that spot again,"Need?" You shook.

You found your voice,"Touch me."

"I am touching you." He grinned.

"Javi, please don't-" you were cut off with a gasp as he pulled out of you, releasing his grip from you as he moved onto his knees. Sighing you rolled over to your back, running a shaking hand over your face as you fought to catch your breath. His chest heaved as he breathed harshly through his nose. His eyes glaring down at you in the dark. Another roll of thunder echoed through the city as you sat up on your elbows, "Javi?"

He grabbed your arm and pulled you up on your knees, pulling you flush against him. You instinctively reached up to him to find your balance, wrapping your arms around his neck. He rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, his nose brushing yours, his breath against your skin. He grabbed your ass firmly, before kissing you, gently at first, his tounge teasing your lips open. You allowed your lips to open for him with a sigh that quickly turned into a sharp cry as he bit into your bottom lip. His short nails digging into your ass as he licked where his teeth had pierced your tender lip. You almost pushed him away, but he attached his lips to your neck, kissing, biting then licking away the pain. His hands under your nightgown working it off of you, pulling away from you just enough to remove it, tossing it to the side before he latched onto your breast.

Thunder cracked though the air again as you whined, your eyes squeezed shut. You weren't sure what you were feeling; pain, pleasure, fear, no matter what you were still dripping as he bit your nipple. Thick fingers ghosting down your belly until they reached where you ached the most. Your nails dug into his shaggy hair as he teased your slit, fingers circling your clit as you gasped. Your thighs shaking as you finally felt some relief. Sighing his name, head lolling to the side, as you felt the approach of that feeling that had long been forbidden for you to feel. Then suddenly, it was gone.

"Javi!" You nearly cried, why was he being so cruel to you tonight? He sat up fully meeting your eyes, gripping your face with a strong hand. Lightning lit up the room, his face was almost unmoved by you're shocked expression. You grabbed onto his wrist,"Javi?"

He loosened his grip, and in one quick movement, he moved aside, gripped your hair, and shoved you down onto your stomach. The air was almost knocked out of you as you landed on the carpet, you scrambled to get up but he only held you down firmer, looking over your shoulder at him. He maneuvered behind you, grabbing your hips and pulling them up until you were on your elbows and knees.

You swallowed hard, your eyes wide, body going cold as he glared down at you. You wanted to sit up, tell him not to take you this way. But then a flash lit the room, and you saw the way he gazed down at you, how his eyes were filled with lust for you, the look of desperation on his face as his took himself in his hand. He shook his head subtlety as he looked at the state of you, finally, finally spread out in front of him. The way he always wanted to see you. Any fear you felt was suddenly replaced with searing heat, your core aching, clenching on nothing as you began to push back against him, wanting to feel him inside you. Needing it. With a sharp breath from him he pushed into you, and he waisted no time, his hips snapping against you as he thrusted into your slick walls.

You're eyes were squeezed shut as you mewed for him. It never felt like this, the pressure from his cock hitting in such a different way, you couldn't stop your whimpers, you used the Lord's name in vain without a care, you swore, making him groan at the vulgar words that spilled from your mouth. Never have you felt this way, behaved so wantonly, you begged for more, harder. And he gave it to you. You lost all control as he pulled you up against him, bracing one arm across your breast, holding you in place as he groaned and bit into your neck and shoulder. His other hand snaking down and circling your bundle of nerves that has been so neglected. You cry,and writh against him, his name a chant as you felt that ungodly yet blissful feeling approach. You screamed, not caring that the thunder didn't cover it, not caring if the neighbors heard, didn't even care if God himself heard. You were in the throws and nothing mattered except for Javier's talented fingers and his harsh groans in your ear as he neared his own release. He followed soon after, right after you buckled against him. He let you crumble back to your hands and knees, forehead against the ground as he continued, hips stuttering as he groaned through it. Until his breath hitched with a swear and his hot seed filled you. He breathed out a few more swears until he shakily pulled out of you, collapsing onto his side as you slowly melted onto the floor, ebbing in and out of consciousness, wimpering as you began to throb.

The last thing you remember was his shaking fingers pushing your hair to the side. The whispering of your name, his lips against your face. Your eyelids softly closed and you found your rest, the thunder faint, the rain a mere tap against the windows, calm settled over the city as you fell into sleep.

***

The sun rose, the unbearable humidity had broke and a cool breeze followed in the wake of the storm. The curtains gently swaying from the morning air flowing through the open windows. Javier groaned as he stretched, his back sore from sleeping on the floor, limbs tangled in the nest of blankets. As soon as he opened his eyes he knew he over slept. The sun was high in the morning sky. He bolted up, and found you seated on the couch in one of his t shirts holding the leaf of one of your aloe plants in your hand.

"Steve stopped by, he said don't come in." You said, your voice sleepy and raspy. "The first floor of the Embassy flooded, no work until its cleaned up."

He sighed and rubbed his face.

"Powers still out?" He asked groggily.

"Yes," you answered, he grumbled and you rolled your eyes. "You'll be fine." You tutted. He turned his head and shot you a look. You only shrugged and continued rubbing your aloe plant on your skinned knees.

He watched you as you winced, guilt hanging over him as he looked at you. Your lip was swollen, neck bruised, elbows and knees rashed with rug burn. He could only imagine the bruises he left behind on your hips. He cleared his throat.

"You okay?" He tentatively asked.

You froze as you thought, looking to him his brown eyes were wide and sad, but then again they were always sad. You turned away from him and nodded. Not wanting to have this conversation, not right now. But he came over to you anyway, kneeling in front of you, taking your hand.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, kissing your fingers" I dont know what came over me last night, I never..." he brushed his thumb over your bruised lip," I cant believe I...I'll never do that again. I promise." He said sincerely.

You swallowed hard, not wanting to look at him. Your eyes were dry and puffy from the crying you did the day before, but still they they stung with the threat of tears.

"Mi vida, please, talk to me, are you ok?"

"I'm ok, Javi,"you said quietly," I'm just...confused."

He rested his chin on top of your knee, his hands moving down to your calves, fingertips brushing over your skin.

"Confused about what, hermosa?"

You gingerly traced the cooling plant against your scuffed elbow, so many thoughts bouncing around your head.

"I dont know." You finally breathed.

"Yes you do, just tell me."

You took a deep breath.

"It's just...last night you were so...rough. So mean. You hurt me, Javi."

"I'm sorry," he said kissing your knee, "I swear, I will never do that again. Everything will be your call, how you want it-"

"I liked it." You breathed, your face burning, before looking away.

He blinked and asked you to repeat yourself because there was no way he heard you right.

"I liked it, Javi. I know I shouldn't, but I did. I liked it."

He sat back, eyes wide as he looked up at you. He nodded trying to comprehend what you said, not even knowing how to respond. His prudish, proper, Church every Sunday, Confession every Wednesday, and Saturday night Mass, makes him leave the room when you change, wont kiss in public wife just admitted she liked being thrown around like a rag doll. He felt himself begin to stir, and given his state of undress there was no way to hide it.

"What do you mean 'You shouldn't'? Shouldn't what?"

You paused, trying to collect your thoughts.

"You know what I mean." You hung your head low.

He was quiet for a moment, brows furrowed trying to find the right thing to tell you.

"Mi vida," he said softly,"enjoying...sex with me doesn't make you a bad person."

"Then why do I feel this way? Why do I always feel like I'm doing something wrong?"

He kept his mouth shut. He wanted to go on a rant; about your crazy mother, how she had you brainwashed, how he loves you. He only took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He told you to look him in the eyes as he gripped your hands.

"You haven't done anything wrong. Nothing. Nothing you have done is wrong." He said firmly, hoping it would finally sink it,"Its okay to want this." He tucked your hair behind your ear as you looked away again. He tilted your chin up to look him in the eyes."look at me, I need you to understand its ok to want this."

You nod, you want it to sink in, listen to him, but you still doubted. You just want the conversation to end.

"So," Javi began after a few moments of silence,"Does this mean...we can start having sex with the lights on?" He asked, half joking while palming your thighs.

You pulled your legs underneath you.

"I dont know."

He grinned up at you," Yes you do." He said as he sat up his nose brushing your cheek. You fought a smile as his mustache tickled you, his lips peppering kisses along your jaw making his way to the spot below your ear that makes you squirm.

"Javi..." you shudder,"I'm still sore."

He kissed your lips tenderly,minding your bruises.

"I know, Baby," he cooed,"let me make you feel better."

You blinked," I already took an asprin."

He laughed, resting his head on your shoulder, his hands still rubbing your thighs.

"That's not what I ment," he smiled, as he kissed your lips again."let me taste you." He purred.

Your eyes went wide, it was early morning, broad daylight. "Um..."

"C'mon baby, let me see you," he whispered raising an eyebrow, his hands skimming underneath the shirt you wore. You sighed against his lips, feeling warm inspite of the tenderness you felt in your core.

You threaded your fingers through his hair,"Will you gentle this time?"

"Do you want gentle?" He asked.

You thought for moment," This time. This time I do."

He smiled with a sigh," Then I'll be gentle mi vida. I'll-"

A pounding knock on the door interrupted him. You clung to him with a gasp as you both froze.

"Peña!" Murphy's voice boomed through the door,"Open up, I know you're in there."

Javi swore and dropped his head with a groan as he left your side to get the door. You squeaked.

"Javi!" You giggled, covering your face. He looked back to you,"um..." he looked down and realized he was naked, not just naked but he was semi aroused. He sighed and grabbed the quilt from the couch and wrapped it around his waist as he made his way to the door as you laughed.

"What do you want, Murph?" He grumbled when he opened the door.

Murphy took one look at him and rolled his eyes.

"Jesus," Murphy mumbled, trying to look anywhere except at Javier,"You couldn't of put pants on to get the door?"

Javier just shrugged and nodded over his shoulder towards you. Your face burned, eyes not knowing where to go when Steve saw you, awkwardly giving you a wave as you pulled the shirt you wore further down your legs.

"We got some intel I need to discuss with you, so if you wouldn't mind letting me in, and for the Love of God put on pants, I'd very much like to discuss it with you."

Murphy came in with a milk crate filled with papers, setting it down on your kitchen counter. You kept your head down while you awkwardly began scooping up the blankets, pillows, and discarded clothing from the floor, before following Javier into the bedroom. He quickly changed into his jeans and a short-sleeved shirt.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said, giving you a kiss to the top of your head. "I'll make it up to you."

"Its ok, I think I'm just going to lay down."

"We wont make too much noise," he promised, stroking your arm," Do you need anything?"

You only shook your head. With one last kiss he left you, shutting the door behind him. You made the bed, opened up the bedroom window to let the cool breeze in, and stripped off his shirt. You nestled into the sheets naked your hips tender, lips sore, elbows and knees stinging. You wanted to rest, to shut your eyes and sleep but your thoughts just kept bouncing around your head.

Your stomach twisted as you thought back to the words of advice your mother gave you as a girl. How last night you defied everything she taught you, instructed you, demanded of you. You never questioned her, never, but now you had the sinking feeling that maybe she was wrong. Maybe everything she told you about being a wife, or just even being a women, was wrong. You let your husband use you like a whore, he took you like an animal, he was rough and cruel. Worst of all you enjoyed it, you liked how he gripped you, how he groaned, how he breathed your name through ragged breath. Enjoyed how it felt when he was behind you.

You shifted under onto your side, listening to the low murmur of the men talking in the other room. Heard Javis grumblings through the door. Your marriage wasn't what you expected. You always expected to marry someone closer to your age, he'd have a humble job, a humble home, you'd do everything for him; cook, clean, lay on your back,push out babies. You'd live to serve him, and your children, and he'd provide while you looked the other way when he spent his evenings with his mistress. After all that's how your parents marriage was, so why wasn't your marriage anything like that?

Javi hated when you did everything for him, hated that you tried to make yourself his servant, he enjoyed a hot meal to come home to and appreciated your efforts, but that's not how he expected you to be. You heard Steve's voice, and you wondered to yourself if he treated Connie the way Javi treated you. You never quite got over the shock of finding out Connie still worked. She didn't stay at home with the baby, and be the housewife you were always taught to be. Being in Bogota was a culture shock, life was so different than your childhood village. So many women out on their own, not having a man to answer to. This feeling of liberation was hard to accept, you felt more confused each day, not knowing what to do with yourself besides listening to your Mother's voice in your head, always chastising you for everything you did.

Eventually you dozed off, giving your mind a rest, your body a chance to relax and heal. Foggy memories of the night finding it's way to your dreams. The sound of him groaning your name echoing in your dreams, you woke feeling your body humming. You felt a slickness between your legs, you expected to see blood on your fingers when reached down, but there was no blood, only the evidence of your longing. You wanted him. You've always wanted him. You spent all this time denying him. Denying a man who puts his life on the line everyday, a man who promised to always protect you, and you won't even give yourself to him. It wasn't fair. You werent being fair, not just to him but yourself.

You heard him laugh in the other room, and it shot straight to your core. You sighed at the feeling, the scent of him was on the sheets, the sound of his voice ringing in your ears. You needed to feel his skin under your fingertips, your lips, inside you again. You wanted him, you wanted him anyway he'd take you. And you were going to have him again before the day was over. Thats what you decided, what you decided it for yourself.

Thank You for reading🥰🥰

Part 2 coming soon...

@zeldasayer @thick-dick-din-daddy-djarin

Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline

I figured it might be helpful for not only myself, but also for my readers if I created this handy little timeline for the series! 

1987

March 1987 - Day One

1988

July 1988 - Take a Hike

1989

Summery 1989 - Old Parr

1992

August 1992 - Promises August 1992 - Josie is conceived October 1992 -  Maybe November 1992 - Missing Out November 1992 - Used to Be Lonely December 1992 -  Merry Christmas, Baby

1993 

April 1993 - All Ours May 1st 1993 - His Family September 1993 - Today September 1993 - Moving In September 1993 - Maybe Forever October 1993 - Stress Relief December 1993 - A Dance Owed

1994

January 1994 - They officially move to Miami  January 1994 - Partners January 1994 - Nightmare June 1994 - A Night Out  July 1994 - Eyes for You November 1994 - The Picnic November 1994 - First Date

1995

January 1995 - Trust Summer 1995 - Summer Days  Late 1995 - Let it Out

1996 

May 1996 - Ballet Practice  August 1996 - The Three of Us October 1996 - Vacation  November 1996 - Positive  December 1996 - Secret Keeper December 1996 - Christmas in Laredo

1997 

January 1997 - First Time January 1997 - Professor 

What Happened to Belen? Part Two

Grab a Latte! Don't forget to check out Ana's Archive! The largest open library in human history, with millions of books and papers preserved forever!

Triggers: profanity, pornography, smoking, attempts at Spanish, contemporary canon for "Narcos" character, fainting, discussions of the book "What Happened to Belen" which involve topics of abortion, miscarriage, homicide, women's rights, medical malpractice, judicial injustice, menstruation, harassment etc...

Series Masterlist

Words: 5k

“Take it outside” you muttered, standing quickly….too quickly, and nearly tripping over the base of the counter at your feet. Everything was so blindingly bright. Stars were beginning to enter your periphery once again, if you could just get some more Advil….Your thoughts started to slog slowly forward, as though on a malfunctioning assembly line, with your feet dragging haphazardly behind them.

“Maybe you should sit back down, hermosa…” Pena began, circling the counter to meet you. “Just get that out of my face!” you pushed your hand against Pena’s perspiration dotted chest, as a high pitched ringing sound drifted into your mind scape. What was happening? You couldn’t think straight, couldn’t see straight. “Hermosa, you’re white as a sheet” but Pena’s voice was nearly inaudible as you focused tightly on the mustache decorating his plump lips. They were moving slowly, SO slowly before the power went out, leaving everything pitch black and sedate....

“Hot as hell out there, hermosa” he huffed, coughing slightly and rushing to help you with the stack of books. “So perhaps you can now tell me, what DID happen to Belen?”…he jested, the smell of nicotine tickling your nose pungently. Your stomach lurched slightly at the fragrance sensitivity. This Advil didn’t seem to be doing much, and your hormones were still raging out of control. You swallowed hard to down the rising bile in your throat, wondering if you wanted to slap Pena across the face or the ass first. “Perhaps I have overstayed my welcome, hermosa?” a concerned look crossed his face as he gauged your unknowable expression. 

“No, not at all!” you rallied, wiping the sweat from your brow and attempting to regroup. Pena had been nothing but conciliatory; it was your body you seemed to be at war with. 

“Let’s put you to work, agent…” you teased, motioning to the display case and putting your apron back on. “One of my favorite parts of the book is the description of the many women and organizations that rallied for Belen’s aid” you encouraged, returning with your book to the display counter and starting to judiciously display your books of choice.

“Excellent” Pena quipped, taking a step back to admire your burgeoning handiwork.

“At first, the word ‘abortion’ wasn’t even used in legal contexts. It couldn’t be written. What isn’t written does not exist. When in doubt, they used the word ‘homicide’. This didn’t happen all that long ago. In 2016 when Belen’s case first came to light, omitting the existence of abortions was part of the lexicon. But with the inclusion of women’s rights groups like the National Campaign for Abortion, representatives from Pan y Rosas, CLADEM and empathetic journalists, Belen’s story started to gain a voice”.

Pena picked up the book and read from the back cover, “Freedom for Belen! Sex ed so we can decide! Contraceptives avoid abortions! Legalize abortion! Save lives!”. 

You gingerly kneeled down, stacking the books aesthetically, hopeful it might grab some attention. “You know, in Argentina, as in many places the world over, you have to make noise outside the country so that people at home will hear about it. A woman’s failure to choose motherhood, whatever the reason, instantly makes her a criminal. Women must reassert the right to say no to something unwanted, whether it’s a partner, a pregnancy, sex or a traditional way of life. They must reassert the right to say no to the social mandates of submission and obedience. And saying no to these things means saying yes to our bodies, our emotional lives, our sexuality, to our participation in society, work, politics and everywhere else” you wiped your hands on your apron admiring your work.

“Well done, hermosa” Pena observed, reading the rest of the book cover, “Belen, you’re not alone. Chin up, Belen we’re with you. We’re fighting for you and for women who’ve been unjustly incarcerated all over the world.” Pena paused to reflect momentarily. “I’m…embarrassed I didn’t know more…” he massaged the back of his neck awkwardly. “This isn’t just about women’s rights. It’s about justice, and I know a thing or two about that…” he placated.

You stood quickly and immediately realized your mistake as bright orbs of crackling energy drifted into your periphery and the smell of iron tickled your nose. Pena was at your side in an instant, hand lightly fixed at your waist, as you swayed unsteadily.  “Hermosa?” his voice seemed to be coming from quite a distance away, as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath through your nose. “S-sorry, s-stood up too fast!” you deflected, leaning against him securely for a millisecond before returning to the counter, shaking your head from side to side. It WAS hot in here, and you were more embarrassed then ever at your momentary lapse. Menstruation was SUCH a drag, but you didn’t want to let on about your recent diagnosis. As if womanhood didn’t feel debilitating enough, you had already experienced years of struggle with endometriosis and were newly considering a hysterectomy. You didn’t find yourself in Belen’s position, but it wasn’t hard to imagine the helplessness she might have felt, judged by the medical community, government, society at large…and maybe even…herself. This was a piece of information you were determined to keep clandestine. Javier Pena’s eyes swam before you as his image coalesced into focus. “Did you hear me?” he gently asked again.

“Uh…sure….yes!” you piped up, immediately unsure of your response. He nodded curtly bringing you a stool and placing it behind the counter for your respite. “Perhaps my endless questions have needlessly exhausted you”. Your cheeks reddened with the heat AND embarrassment as you chastised yourself for existing. “I’m fine…just overheated is all” you huffed as Pena cleared his throat and sat back down across from you. 

“So, what happened to Belen? How did she find redemption in such a storm of injustice?” he asked.

You sighed heavily, retrieving your book and flipping through the pages. “Well, at first she had to survive in the prison system. Family visits, challenging circumstances, holidays…This was an environment she had never been in before…”. You read, 

“I kept walking around the prison and talking to women who were there for reasons unknown to me. I realized some are doing time for murder and others for stealing, and that many are inside because they covered for a partner or family member. Soledad told Belen about a young woman called Maria Magdalena. The doctors who treated her at the hospital accused her of having an abortion. And that’s not right. medical staff have a duty of care”.

Pena dragged his thumb across his bottom lip pensively, starting to bite at the cuticles. “Seems like it all happened so fast. One minute she was living her life, the next…” his voice trailed off reflexively.

“There was no DNA evidence. The report mentioned more than one fetus, and none of them were preserved. There were no records showing Belen’s admission even. There is no evidence, there is simply none. The doctors who accused her were still living their lives. The men who convicted her continued like nothing happened.”

“And I’m still in here” Belen says. All I’m asking is for them to reevaluate the case. They don’t know what it’s like waking up in the same place every day, being away from your family ever day. They’re in their homes. They don’t know what it’s like to have to file a request just to see a friend. The judges are in their chambers, smoking, drinking coffee. And they have to live with the fact that they sentenced me to this place. What happened to me happened because I couldn’t get 20,000 pesos in less than forty eight hours. If I’d had the money, I could’ve defended myself. But I thought, why should I have to pay money when I did nothing wrong? Worse still, they tried to pass off a miscarriage as a murder, seemingly for political gain. ”

Pena had run out of words, reaching into his back pocket for another cigarette and rolling it between his fingers.

“In our society, when people wan to hide something, they find someone to blame. They point their fingers at those who can’t defend themselves, and they accuse them. They don’t listen to them. These people become guilty because of their faces, their clothes, because they’re poor or because they’re women.”

“Luckily, Soledad began to identify the discrepancies at Belen’s first trial, 

“The doctor has a legal obligation to maintain confidentiality unless expressly told otherwise by the patient. The patent’s silence can in no way be seen to provide a valid ad rational motive to breach the physician’s duty to professional confidentiality. All the evidence adduced in Belen’s case should have been inadmissible. The physician’s and midwives’ testimonies were in themselves a crime. She was convicted without valid evidence. In addition, no one can be compelled to testify against himself. It is a cruel, latent and ignoble violation of this precept to use the distress of a women who had an abortion to report her crime, whether wrenched via exploited confession or duress through a state of physical and spiritual helplessness. Moreover, public interest cannot justify so inhuman a dilemma; prison or death.”

“Finally, some common sense!” Pena exclaimed, dangling the cigarette in his mouth and immediately removing it under your scolding stare. “Lo siento, hermosa, continue por favor…” he returned to delicately fingering the unused smoke.

“At the time, Belen did not know she was pregnant, nor did she look pregnant. She never stopped menstruating and felt no movement in her belly, her body was normal and her breasts hadn’t grown. She and her mother went to the emergency room for the abdominal pain. A person who wants to commit homicide—a person who knows they’re going to have a baby and is determined to cause their death simply doesn’t go to a hospital”

“Obviously!” Pena retorted, grabbing for his lighter and subsequently tossing it on the counter impotently. 

You shook your head reprimandingly, “It was nearly two years of waiting and resolving before Belen had her second day in court, facing her original sentence, this time with Soledad at her side. Belen recounts, 

“First of all, I’d like to say I didn’t know I was pregnant, so you can’t tell me that I committed the atrocity that I’m being accused of. How can you say I cut the umbilical cord? Where is the DNA evidence that proves the discovered fetus of 36 weeks was mine? They gave me an intravenous sedative and when I awoke, I was covered in blood and police officers were examining my private parts. No one looked after me, before treating me like I was a murderer…”

These trials end up being more moral than legal, ironically enough as God is said to serve in the capital. The morning in court when the judges read her the grounds for her conviction, Belen cries again. Unlike the day her verdict was read the courthouse i packed because now people in Tucuman know what is happening. “Calm down, no one can see you anymore” a prison guard encourages. Now raise your head and look outside. All these people are here for you”. Belen sits up, at first fearfully. Finally, Belen relaxes. she cries, but this it’s different”. 

“Some of us can raise our voices and have the privilege of health care access. Others can afford to become mothers. Others experience the same troubles Belen did but are less formatted because their cases aren’t talked about, and so they are still in prison. Then there are others who aren’t here to tell their stories today, because they died trying, during miscarriage. This issue moves me. A great deal. I still don’t understand how it is that in the 21st century we women still have to relinquish our independence and our freedom to a society that imposes its way of life on us. Why do we have to be the talk of the town? Why do we have to air our most private decisions?”.

Pena gulped in silence, possibly reflecting on his own private decisions, playing with the lighter in front of him. You grabbed a tissue from your apron and wiped your brow profusely. The AC had been broken all week, but it was supposed to be getting cooler, not hotter. The words of the book began to blur and dance in front of you, as you put a wearied hand over your eyes.  “What time does your shift end?” Pena asked, already aware of how propositional his question sounded, but your countenance was pale and blanched as compared to the start of the day. Something was obviously wrong, but he didn’t want to leave you alone in whatever plight you found yourself. 

Unhearing, you sallied forth. “Where was I?” you blinked, squinting at the book with determination. “Eventually she has her day in court, and things start to change slowly but surely.

“Belen starts to receive support from everyone around her at the correctional facility, online and even abroad, The organizations put together an online campaign to denounce the press’ persecution of Belen and call for people to leave her alone. The campaign consisted of people taking selfies with a sign that says are you looking for Belen? I’m Belen. Men and women of all ages, some angry, others amused, some bearded, others very young, hold the same sign and post it online with a caption—‘They’re trying to infringe on her privacy, to see her face. But what they don’t realize is that Belen isn’t just one person. She thousands! Belen is all of us!’”

Pena leaned back against the stool beaming momentarily, before absentmindedly lighting the cigarette in front of him and taking a deep drag. “Victory” he puffed before viewing your incredulous face. His expression immediately fell with chagrin, considering how to snub out the cigarette, whilst desperately inhaling. “Lo siento, hermosa” he mumbled into the cigarette, possibly trying to inhale it in one draft. He looked towards the front door, considering an ill-timed exit before taking in your pained look. The fragrant aroma of the cigarette usually would have been fine, but your head was pounding and your abdomen was irritatingly alight with menstrual cramps and distress.

“Take it outside” you muttered, standing quickly….too quickly, and nearly tripping over the base of the counter at your feet. Everything was so blindingly bright. Stars were beginning to enter your periphery once again, if you could just get some more Advil….Your thoughts started to slog slowly forward, as though on a malfunctioning assembly line, with your feet dragging haphazardly behind them.

“Maybe you should sit back down, hermosa…” Pena began, circling the counter to meet you.

“Just get that out of my face!” you pushed your hand against Pena’s perspiration dotted chest, as a high pitched ringing sound drifted into your mind scape. Oh shit, what was happening? You couldn’t think straight, couldn’t see straight.

“Hermosa, you’re white as a sheet” but Pena’s voice was nearly inaudible as you focused tightly on the mustache decorating his plump lips. They were moving slowly, SO slowly before the power went out, leaving everything pitch black and sedate.

This was the WORST mattress you had ever been on, including the taut pillows. It felt hard as a rock. To say nothing of the nicotine infused fragrance of whatever hotel room you found yourself in. Your eyes blinked open hazily, taking in your surroundings. Why did this hotel room look exactly like a Barnes and Nobles?

“There she is” Pena’s voice was amplified to that of a megaphone as the tingling sensation in your arms and legs started to dissipate. You squinted up into the bright lights of the ceiling as Pena’s concerned expression drifted into your line of sight. You licked your lips to say something, but your mouth was as dry as cotton. Were you on the floor?

“Power outage?” you heard your voice rasp quietly, attempting to take stock of the situation.

“I guess you could say that” Pena chuckled softly, running a hand across your forehead. Oh my God, did you have your head on his thigh? You tried to sit up, but felt as heavy as an anvil, as he placed a hand behind your neck. “You sort of had a personal power outage, before fainting into my arms, hermosa” he smiled. “Had me worried, I nearly called the police”. You sank back down against his lap for a second, waiting for the disorientation to pass. “I’m a total ass, no more cigarettes this time, I promise” he apologized, placing a heavy hand on your forehead appraisingly before shrugging with helplessness. “This seemed preferable to books for pillows” he chuckled, the tinge of worry in his voice evident.

“Well this is embarrassing” you finally smirked, focused on breathing deeply and bringing your knees up slightly underneath you.

“Mierda…” he encouraged, leaning against the wall and finally relaxing. “It is your time of the month, no?”. You froze with apprehension at the intimacy of his observation, but quickly relaxed against his thigh once again.

“Guilty as charged” your cheeks blushed with a crimson hue. This had to be the strangest work day in the history of employment. You found yourself surprisingly grateful that you weren’t alone.

“You’re not the first woman I’ve made faint” Pena tried to tease as you scoffed good-naturedly. You took a look around at the smattering of books littering the floor. “You managed to bring down half the display case with you however” he noted, straining to reach for the copy of “What Happened to Belen” before settling back against the wall. You both sat in silence for a minute or two, thankful that no customers were entering the bookshop, as Pena thumbed through the book introspectively. You were surprised at the tenderness in his voice as he started to read Belen’s words to her supporters, 

“Greetings to all the women, to the warriors, and to everyone who’s stood by me until now. I want to thank you for making my fight your own. Thank you for standing up for me, for making sure my voice and truth were heard. I was silent for two years. I couldn’t bring myself to talk. I was scared. They told me I would get life. They convicted me on hearsay alone, for being poor, for going to a public hospital, for not having the money to to a private clinic and hire a good lawyer. I haven’t been home or seen my family March 21st, 2014. They robbed me of so much. All I wanted was help and instead I was detained, surrounded by police officers and accusatory fingers. Two years and three months away form home. They took away my life! Did any of them wonder how I felt that night? They accused me and asked if I’d induced an abortion. My mother was mistreated, too. No one cared about me. She’s ignorant, she doesn’t know anything, they probably told themselves. Even though I said I hadn’t done anything, that I hadn’t killed anyone. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I cry because of the injustice I’m experiencing. But I’m also calm, because I know I will get justice. I am stronger now, calmer. I never hurt anyone, never stole, never killed, I don’ know drugs. I’ve worked my whole life. I always did everything I was supposed to. I will forever be grateful to every who’s helped my voice be heard. I’m sending you all my love. It makes me so happy not be alone. Thank you and thank you again to all you women. Let us all fight and be heard so that no woman is imprisoned for abortion again. ow your struggle is my struggle, too”.

Pena’s soft baritone voice hummed quietly as you heard the dull traffic sounds outside. Dusk was starting to descend as you looked up into his face. You could have sworn you saw the smallest of tears glistening at the corner of his eye before he brushed it away, clearing his throat.

“Can you stand, hermosa?” he asked, sitting upright, your head still atop his lap.

“Let’s find out” you parried, his solid hand easing you forward and massaging the back of your neck deftly. A small moan escaped your lips as you tucked your legs beneath you.

“Long day” Pena observed, allowing his hand to drift to your back in slow, methodical circles. “Is this okay, hermosa?” 

“More than okay” you realized, scratching at scalp and smiling tiredly. This work day had proven unexpectedly enjoyable, amidst an obstacle course of challenge. You leaned back towards him with a slightly dopey expression. “Thanks for your help, Pena”.

“We aim to please” the corner of Pena’s mouth drifted upwards, as he carefully stood to his feet, offering his hand once again in support. You felt a bit like Bambi at first, getting your legs beneath you and holding on to Pena’s steely grasp. Closing your eyes for clarity, you breathed in his warm fragrance of nicotine, cologne and sweat as Pena watched you intently.

“Nearly done with our story” you whispered, locking eyes with him and finally noticing his hand at your waist, moving in soothing circles.

“I almost don’t want it to end” he replied, licking his lips attentively. You looked towards the clock once again. What had started as a day of doldrums had nearly evaporated before you. One more hour before your shift was over. “Sit back down while I clear things up” he offered, setting you back on the stool definitively and collecting the books at your feet.

“I guess I can be grateful today that we didn’t defund the police” you tried to joke, but caught Pena’s apologetic visage.

“This story is a travesty” he grumbled, collecting the books and handing you the literature of the hour. “I’m as imperfect as the next man, but I joined the DEA to make a difference. Belen’s story is…an embarrassment. I wish I knew how to help”. He set the last of the books on the counter and leaned against it with dejection.

“It’s not all bad” you sighed, uncharacteristically reaching up to cup his face in the palm of your hand, and running a thumb against his five o’clock shadow. Pena’s eyes took on a new sheen of redemption as he took your hand in his. “Tell me” he agreed as you referenced the book once again.

“Finally after nearly three years, Belen is released from prison. She can now begin the long process of championing her government to make the necessary changes, 

“The warden insists before her release, ‘You need to understand that you’re not a criminal. You have no reason to hide.” In the evening the cellblock breaks into song and applause. The sounds travel over the wall and infect the women who have been waiting outside since morning. The activists from the  organizations form two lines to shield Belen from the cameras. They wear masks of white and green, but their expressions are the same; rigid, stern faces and masks featuring the words, “We are Belen”. Belen steps onto the street watching balloons float high in the sky. “This must be a dream” she wonders, but after two years, four months and twenty three days in prison, Belen gets back some of her freedom”.

Pena smiled, placing his hands on his hips defiantly, “Todo va bien”. He was looking resolutely at the ground and nodding definitively. 

“Justice for all” you agreed, feeling tears spring to your eyes at the end of a long day. Stupid hormones. “Thanks to events like ‘Green Action Day’ and the printing of this book, Belen’s government begins the arduous process of lawmaking, and she remains timidly at the forefront.

“It is difficult to conceive of a sphere more ‘private’ than an individual’s own body. The right of individuals to prevent others from invading or interfering with that body is an essential component of a private life, where personal autonomy is paramount…as listed in the Constitution.” The prospects might seem tenuous, but Belen’s case was gaining more and more steam. The majority of women were in favor of legalizing abortion, while a majority of men were against it. Belen says, 

“It’s been three years since I was released, and I feel enormously happy and grateful to everyone who helped me through the most difficult time of my life. Today, I am firm in my decision. I’m not the weak woman I was bak then, broken by a patriarchy that, 6 years ago, sentence me to 8 years in prison for a crime I didn’t commit. Now I am a strong woman pumping her arms in the air and calling for an end to the unjust imprisonment of women for abortions. It’s been three years since I was released and I am here, yelling at the top of my lungs; we can do it girls, the patriarch will fall!”

“Freedom fighter indeed” Pena observed, slamming a soft fist against the counter definitively. “It can’t be easy though…reclaiming her life after….everything….”

The fatigue was starting to catch up with you as you searched the book for your notes. “You’re right, the road to redemption is rarely an easy one” you acquiesced.

“She’s been having panic attacks. Then second she walks out of the house, she start shaking and feeling faint. Her heart races. She has regular fits of crying and rage. “It was like my body was still in prison, like it couldn’t get used to me being free. They told me to try therapy, but I could’t make it to the offices, because I got dizzy every time i tried to leave the house. My family helped me with that. And when I got frustrated they would be there to tell me everything was going to be alright. ‘You got out of prison, there’s no way you can’t get out of the house. Sometimes I wake up at night screaming “No, don’t take me! I didn’t do anything wrong!” When the Supreme Court finally issued the decision to exonerate she looks in the mirror and utters the words she would like to say to the whole world. Didn’t I tell you I was innocent?

Belen hasn’t been to a hospital in three years. She still has nightmares of physicians and police officers storming into the operating room. She still feels scared because of how she was treated that night, long ago. Yet she isn’t a fearful person. “One day I’ll probably have to tell people who I am, but I’m taking it slow for now”.

You took a deep breath, smiling at Pena in repose. “Belen has done so much to change the landscape of this discussion, not just in Argentina, but internationally as well. To know that there are other women, facing great struggle, but using their voices to take a stand…” you felt the emotion of the moment swirling within you, but decided to press on… “I know I already live such a privileged life, but you wouldn’t believe…”. Your voice cracked as it bent under the weight of recent challenge and a lump crept into your throat tightly. Pena grabbed your elbow firmly in solidarity.

“Steady, hermosa” he cautioned, stroking higher up to your shoulder with encouragement.

“It’s okay, I mean you’ve already seen me at my worst…Or my most unconscious!” a sound escaped from your lips somewhere between a cry and laugh as your body trembled in place. “The author even talks about the liberation of the women’s rights movement as it relates to women in the workplace. We’re no longer required to hide our sobs in the company bathroom” a big, fat tear rolled down your cheek as Pena lightly brushed it away. 

“Fine by me” he whispered. “We all must bear the weight of our burdens, but this isn’t something you have to carry alone”. Your eyes widened with realization at his beautifully articulated point. He was right. In as much as it is our responsibility to articulate the challenge, it is our continued privilege to accept the support. You sniffled quietly as Pena gazed up at the clock knowingly.

“Looks like I’m your only customer for today” he observed softly, turning towards you and pulling you in for a tentative hug. You were about to protest before reconciling to the desire, wrapping your arms lightly around his waist, and trembling in his grasp.

“I wouldn’t have thought you so eloquent when we first met” you mumbled into his shirt, relaxing against his solid frame. Pena rested his head quietly atop yours, swaying a bit from side to side.

“I keep telling everyone that I read Playboy primarily for the articles…” he teased, pulling back to gaze at you pensively. “Time to close up shop” he brushed a few stray tears from your face once again before kissing you lightly on the forehead. The surprise that registered on your face seemed to delight him as he headed to the front door. Turning the sign to the the “CLOSED” position he caught a straggler that was approaching from the sidewalk. “I’m sorry we’re closed for the night!” he shouted through the window as they dejectedly shrugged their shoulders and walked away. He turned back to you gesturing apologetically as you giggled from the counter.

Pena helped you tidy up a bit before you headed back to the locker room to discard your apron and grab your things. Holding the book lovingly in your hands you met him in the foyer before exiting. “I don’t know how to ask this without sounding somewhat brazen…” Pena actually looked embarrassed, rubbing his hand at the back of his neck awkwardly. “But…could I see you home?” he finally confessed, his eyes a deep brown of sincerity. “Just…to make sure you’re okay…or…” he tripped haltingly over his words. It was a strange dichotomy to see such a confident man, momentarily unravelling.

“I’d like that” you smiled tiredly, taking his hand in yours and locking up the bookshop. His hand swung easily in your grasp as you headed to his car.

“So, what finally happened to Belen? Did she get the freedom she so richly deserved?” Pena asked, opening the car door for you and seating you inside. 

“See for yourself”. You opened the book to the final chapter, referencing your favorite part;

“I woke up to a message that the Chamber of Deputies had approved the bill, legalizing abortion. I think it’ll become law because women’s suffering is finally out in the open. I learned to fight, little by little and from the bottom. Even though things weren’t easy for me when I moved to Buenos Aires, I began rebuilding my life from scratch, she told the journalist who interviewed her. I never imaged I’d be unjustly imprisoned for there years, for doing nothing, But wounds heal.”

“Two days from now will be the first anniversary of the date I effectively regained my freedom. How will I ever forget the day I set foot on the street again, with my angels! How will I ever forget how much they helped me! How will I ever forget all the women who spent hours waiting to welcome me outside! How will I forget my fellow inmates and the prison guards and the night we said goodbye! How will I ever forget my family, who was anxiously waiting for me! How will I ever forget that day! Everyone awaited my return after two and half years of unjust imprisonment. How will I ever forget that was the day…I WAS REBORN! How will I ever forget the day one of my angels put a pencil to paper and wrote down the words I couldn’t speak! A year after my release I can only give thanks to God and my angels. Who is it that said we don’t have angels? I can testify today that they exist. How will I ever forget that amidst all the anxiety and distress my angels were there with me, holding my hand and listening. I am eternally grateful. Thank you! Thanks to every woman and every organization, to the women’s movements and to all the people who did their part to help me, who put on their “Freedom For Belen” T-shirts and went into the street to fight for my freedom.”

“Excelente” Pena observed, starting the car and turning towards you. “Alright, hermosa, show me the way home” he smiled, tucking a stray hair behind your ear tenderly.

As the author states at the beginning of the book, “There are many people hiding stories we aren’t always prepared to hear.” But after spending the afternoon with Agent Pena and remembering the value of your own unique narrative, you at least were sure this was a story you wouldn’t soon forget.

Pena's Pose

Thank you @auteurdelabre for our beautiful coloring book! I don't often like reposting my own work, because it messes up my dashboard. I guess Pedge and I run a tight ship, much like Pena himself, but occasionally he decides to let loose. Don't forget to check out our Afterglow Series that focuses specifically on intimate topics. Pena particularly enjoys "Workplace Benefits" and don't forget to listen to Pena's Playlist for the fully immersive experience. Narcos was absolutely amazing, definitely check it out if you haven't seen it yet....Pedge is heading to bed....