Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Crack - Blog Posts
Stranger things characters as things me and my friends have say
Steve : I want to be fucked so bad.
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Robin : Steve, can you wear my breasts please?
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Jonathan : Mike if you touch my brother we're going to fight.
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Erica : I'd rather test a dick.
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Argyle : Isn't your father a thief? 'Cause he took my virginity!
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Max : Eat pussy as long as it's legal.
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Eddie : I couldn't aim for the hole, that's why she left me.
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Nancy : If you could moan silently.
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Dustin : They put a phone in my ass.
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Eleven : Pissing together strengthens the bonds!
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Lucas : I have a video where he suck it.
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Will : I drink my piss without hesitation.
Dean : I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately
Jack, seriously : Maybe you’re pregnant.
*they sit there in silence for a moment*
Castiel : *Visibly panicking Flying away*
Dean :
Jack : hun?
Later, Dean talking to Sam
Dean : I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. Jack for suggesting that, or Castiel because he almost had a panic attack.
Sam dying of laughter : oH mY gOD!
Gabriel : Samsquatch is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?
Crowley : Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he double over in pain, kiss him.
Charlie : Tackle him!
Castiel : Dump him.
Jack : Kick him in the shin!
Sam : No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!
Gabriel : What are your adjectives?
Sam : …You mean my pronouns?
Gabriel : No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?
Sam : …I dunno. What are yours?
Gabriel : Noisy and chaotic!
Sam : I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.
Eddie : We're having a kid!
Dustin : Oh, congratula-
Steve slamming adoption papers onto the table : It's you, sign here.
Caitlin : Who do we know that has handcuffs?
Barry : Well Len and I-
Joe : *elbows Barry*
Barry : ...wouldn't know.
Time family AU
Doctor - dad
Doctor who
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Kaya - mom
Oc
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Logan & Peter Parker
Wolverine - Marvel - Spiderman
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Tony Stark & Bruce waine
Marvel - Dc
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John wick
John wick
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Eddie Brock
Marvel
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Dean Winchester
Supernatural
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Mycroft Holmes
Sherlock Holmes
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Sam winchester
Supernatural
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Jake Peralta
Brooklyn 99
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Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes
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Barry Allen & Harley Quinn
Dc
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Steve Harrington
Stranger things
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Harry Potter
Harry potter
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Scott McCall & Thomas
Teen wolf - Le labyrinthe
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Malicia/rogue
Marvel
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Percy Jackson
Percy Jackson
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Jenny
Doctor who
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Mom and Dad compilation
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Doctor : I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.
Kaya : And I need you to be less vague and weird.
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Doctor : Honey, is that legal?
Kaya : When there's no cops around, anything's legal!
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Kaya, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?
Doctor!12 : A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.
Kaya :
Kaya : Water you doing?
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Police Officer : You have the right to remain silent.
Doctor : I choose to waive that right!
Doctor : *screaming*
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Kaya : So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Doctor and not do the thing,
Kaya : Well there’s a clear right answer here.
Kaya : *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*
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Doctor, to Kaya : Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.
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Doctor : Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?
Kaya : All the time.
Doctor : Then you should be used to it by now.
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Kaya : I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
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Doctor : Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.
Kaya : Go the fuck to sleep Doctor.
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Kaya : Everyone has a toxic trait. Except my husband, they’re perfect.
Doctor : Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon!
Gabriel : What if people had food names and food had people names?
Dean : Hey, spaghetti, we're having Kevin for dinner!
Sam : What is wrong with you people?
Crowley : Shut up, chocolate.
Peter : We need a distraction.
Matt : Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Wade, whispering : My time has finally come.
Castiel : If I fall…
Dean : I’ll be there to catch you.
Gabriel *looks at Sam* : What if I fall?
Sam : Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.
Crowley : *watches these four interactions*
Crowley, to Bobby : And if I fall?
Bobby : I’ll be the one who pushed you.
Gabriel : I'm so happy, I could kiss you!
Sam : Um...Neat.
*later*
Sam, lying face down on their bed : I said "Neat," Dean. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.
Dean, cleaning the colt : Don't beat yourself up too much, Sammy. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Castiel confessed his love for me?
Sam : Didn't you thank him?
Dean *Pose the gun with a haunted face* : I fucking thanked him.
Caitlin : Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Barry : I- what?
Snart : My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.
Lisa : It’s called connotations.
Cisco : Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."
Mick : Great news! Language is now banned!
Robin : Made you all playlists!
Robin : Eddie, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.
Robin : Steve, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.
Robin : And Chrissy has the ABBA Gold album.
Dean : Hey Sammy!
Sam : *punches Dean in the stomach*
Dean : What the fuck????
Sam : You are my very incredible big brother. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. DEAN You're too young....YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!!
Dean : What the fuck are you talking about?
Sam : I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.
Castiel :
Castiel : See ya. *leaves*
Dean :
Dean : I'M NOT PREGNANT!
Sam : Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes.
Dean : I was never pregnant, Sammy!
Sam : Are... you sure?
Dean : Yes I'm fucking sure!
Charlie : I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?
Sam : Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—
Charlie : *punches Dean in the stomach*
Dean : AW, MOTHERFU--
Made this its prety gud
Spn Finale
All I’ve heard about it is that Jared cried, it’s supposed to be worse than Swan Song, and that it will be really depressing. And “They go there.” All I can think is that by the end of the finale Dean has completed the MoC cycle and killed Crowley, Cas, and Sam. Snaps out of it somehow and then kills himself and at the end of the season EVERYONE is dead.... then Season 11 takes place somewhere other than Earth lol
I’m super into Newsies right now. I loveee it. And as in most fandoms I get obsessed with, I have latched onto a few ships. And it has come to my attention that JackCrutchie apparently gets a lot of hate? So Um basically I loveee discussing Newsies and like I don’t care what you ship as long as it’s not a pro ship but if you’re like super anti-JackCrutchie to the point where u think u have to explain to me why u don’t like the ship, please just block me. 🙂
crack that turned into a headcannon
Imagine Starscream learning about human behaviour and mostly the internet.
And not on the 'aww he secretly still has a heart of gold' (honestly hate that). I mean in a way he only did it cause he was bored and only had human internet available.
And also for new insults he can use on Megatron without being understood so he can get away with it (he still gets abused cause Meg knew what he said was an insult) and cause when he says Cybertronian insults to humans they don't understand. He's just stepping up his roast battle game.
And soon others join in because they can't let Starscream have all the fun. And then Autobots (I know they hang out with humans but I think that they didn't dig into the 'mean' stuff) join in cause the battlefield was starting to be dominated by the decepticons due to the enormous metal damage.
And that's how all Cybertronians started to use human insults. Yeah I headcanon this now
Windblade: Starscream why are you calling
Starscream: I just realised that if the high grade or drugs don't work to stop me being depressed.
Starscream: Why not take both at the same time! I'M GOING TO BE HAPPY GLITCHES!!!!
Later
Reporter: Starscream has been rushed to get dire medical treatment after Windblade found him coughing up energon and unresponsive. He is now stable and is being visited by some bots
Cut to Starscream strapped to a berth
Windblade: Tell me right now! WHAT THE FRAG MADE YOU DO THAT! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!!
Starscream: In my defence I wasn't aware that would happen
Wheeljack: Even I know what you did is dangerous and I'm literally the guy that triggers danger
Chromia: Unfortunately you survived though so I don't see the problem
Windblade: Not the right time Chromia
Head empty just the thought of Starscream being so bored that he starts to go through almost all of earth's music. And then when he finally finds songs and genres that he likes he slowly starts to also have favourite artists. (Soundwave is aware of this new thing Starscream has going on but he thinks that he's gonna sabotage Megatron with music somehow but he can't figure out how)
And of course anything Starscream likes is automatically better than the rest. So when decepticons plan to attack some festivals (due to G1 shenanigans it's probably super normal for it to be a weekly occurrence), Starscream will already know if any artist that he likes is going to be there (he always keeps tabs on their activity and tours). So if they aren't, then okay no problem but if they are he's a hundred percent snitching to the autobots. Something like
Megatron: We must enforce fear onto the humans! We'll attack them at their places of joy -insert stadium or something-
Starscream internally: Wait that's where -random band- is going to have their first performance in 5 years. I've counted each second down to this very performance I can't let Megabum ruin this glorious moment for me.
At the Autobots base
Optimus Prime: Autobots I have called you here due to this anonymous message we have received about some Decepticon activity that's apparently taking place soon
Pops it on the screen
Jazz reading what it says: Megaglitch- yeah it's definitely Starscream who sent that, not really anonymous anymore. But why would he tell us this, it's not like him to care about human activity unless it's a plan to kill Megatron for the gazillionth time
Cliffjumper: Probably an artist that he likes is playing there, I mean there's this band that hasn't performed in 5 years playing there that I like, was hoping to go watch it anyway
Prowl: I highly doubt that that's the reason, we all know Starscream is not one to like anything that's from organics
Cliffjumper: Hey I know my kid (-cliffjumper is his papa I don't care talk to the wall-) better than you all and I know it has to be because of that. Hopefully the few good characteristics he has left from me means that it's also about the same band that I'm thinking about.
Ratchet: What do you mean 'my k----
Jazz: Dude total lore drop right there tell more later. But shouldn't we be going now
Optimus: It is decided. Autobots roll out!
After the confrontation there's now a video of the bands performance with giant robots fighting in the background being spread by the internet to the point everybody now knows the band
Cliffjumper messaging Starscream: Son have you seen it
Starscream: Seen what autodork
Cliffjumper: If you were here I would have grounded you (literally) but I'm to excited. WE'RE IN THE MUSIC VIDEO
Starscream let's out the loudest scream of joy which has now awoken unicron
Yeah idk I'm sick. Thought it was funny. Probs won't be when I'm better. You can rip cliff and star papa and son duo from my dead, decaying, cold hands cause I love it now so much even though it was just a crack little thing I thought of randomly when I was bored
Read rags they are going to be funny.
Hopefully
To the few people who like this cliff and star dynamics. I like you. You have great taste.
I just woke up and somehow the only thought in my head was Jason Todd as an Etsy witch but he only sells ‘violent spells’ and instead of doing spell work he just personally goes out and beats the shit out of whoever you choose
Noble gases are clearly aroace I need people to disagree with the current majority even if you don't agree with me
Plz rb if you vote
Green Arrow had a new child scientist villain. Who needs glasses?
Danny was already with the many Blob Ghosts working for him (think of them as Minions of Despicable Me). This new place is a super funny vacation place! He should think ghostwriter about it. True, his eyes were hurt by the portal, but that would be gone in a few years. But who cares about it? With just his genius and no powers as a human, he can show he is a genius! That was how Danny, without knowing it, became a wonderful child who was just having chaotic fun in the new world. It's like a game for him; it's not like he would have problems.
Batman has the Joker.
Superman has Lex Luthor.
Wonder Woman has the cheetah.
But Green Arrow! Green Arrow has a child scientist! with a tragic childhood who does musicals to explain his evil plans.
Just for the poor comedy and Oliver trying to hide it from the other heroes out of embarrassment. Of being defeated by a child and not being able to capture him. ++ Danny looked at Oliver Queen without his green Arrow mask. "An ordinary civilian with a goat?" Oliver saw as he put on his hood. Danny:"An ordinary civilian dressed up as a Green Arrow?" Oliver puts on the mask. Danny: "Ah! Green ARROW! " Green Arrow gave a tired sigh. Black Canary:" When we finally are able to capture him, The first thing we will do is send him to an ophthalmologist." Danny:" Since you are here, I wil tell you about my trash-inator!" Oliver:" So It creates trash." Danny:" NO! Man, are you evil? It collects all the trash in the whole city and teleports it away." Black Canary:" That is a pretty good indicator. You could do much goo..." Danny:" Yes, then into the Bat Cave all the trash of the Star city will go. I was paid by Red Hood to do that." Oliver:" NOO!!"
++ So because Oliver covered it up until now, Danny has now become a world-wide problem. Oliver really didn't want to say he lost a child or explain it. Danny with his Shrink Ray:" Tonight we steal the Legion of Doom HQ/The Hall of Justice!" All the Blob Ghost:" YAYY!"
And yes, Danny stole the Legion of Doom HQ/The Hall of Justice as both Heroes and Villian fought each other in a great battle.
That was the moment Oliver had to explain the problem that he had covered up.