Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Beauregard - Blog Posts
A lil’ something I’m working on...
Beau got so pissed when someone stole her gold… Imagine the fury (of blows!) when she finds out someone stole her friends lol
Snow In New Orleans
* * * *
Everything in New Orleans is a good idea. Bijou temple-type cottages and lyric cathedrals side by side. Houses and mansions, structures of wild grace. Italianate, Gothic, Romanesque, Greek Revival standing in a long line in the rain. Roman Catholic art. Sweeping front porches, turrets, cast-iron balconies, colonnades- 30-foot columns, gloriously beautiful- double pitched roofs, all the architecture of the whole wide world and it doesn't move. All that and a town square where public executions took place. In New Orleans you could almost see other dimensions. There's only one day at a time here, then it's tonight and then tomorrow will be today again. Chronic melancholia hanging from the trees. You never get tired of it. After a while you start to feel like a ghost from one of the tombs, like you're in a wax museum below crimson clouds. Spirit empire. Wealthy empire. One of Napoleon's generals, Lallemaud, was said to have come here to check it out, looking for a place for his commander to seek refuge after Waterloo. He scouted around and left, said that here the devil is damned, just like everybody else, only worse. The devil comes here and sighs. New Orleans. Exquisite, old-fashioned. A great place to live vicariously. Nothing makes any difference and you never feel hurt, a great place to really hit on things. Somebody puts something in front of you here and you might as well drink it. Great place to be intimate or do nothing. A place to come and hope you'll get smart - to feed pigeons looking for handouts”
― Bob Dylan, Chronicles, Volume One
a nice beau drawing from a while ago :)
Fitting in the rest of the romance/bromance of the M9 and NPCs just makes the whole situation better:
Nott canonically is in love with Caleb and everyone knows it and is kind of cool with it (Yeza, who drinks his respect women juice and knows what kind of woman his wife is, supports it and actually kind of gets it cause who knew self-destructing anxious wrecks hiding absolute chaotic dumbassery was his type??? Not him!). So sometimes Nott will just. kiss Caleb on the mouth in greeting and goodnight and all that happens is Caleb gets flustered and Jester demands one as well
“Nott we run a detective agency together everyone knows that fulfils the homoerotic quota for mouth kisses now lay one on me”
Fjord is good. He’s fine with no mouth kisses from Nott (but sometimes their bantering/arguing just gets.,,,,,,real intense,,,oh boy)
It also means Luke is brought up knowing who his biological parents are but since he is born from the trickster womb of Nott and grew up with the M9, as years go by he sometimes introduces other M9 members as his parents. Fellow friends and other parents are bewildered by the tirade of powerful and influential figures who all apparently sired this little halfing Luke please this giant goth woman with wings is not your mother,,,,,please,,,stop calling her Ma Yash
No one in the M9 really knows what weird connection Caduceus and Fjord have with the Wild Mother and each other, and Ducey doesn’t swing any way, but there is something very married in their morning meditation sessions, week-long “discover yourself” trips and the fact that Fjord may love Jester and Caleb but he is most vulnerable with the other cleric. They are often mistaken for husbands by any religious faction they encounter and honestly they keep getting free shit out of it so who cares???
While Jester may have the curse of accidentally seducing any WLW who comes her way (Yasha and Beau both have accepted themselves as the foundation of said curse and love it), Fjord is bisexual bait and has his own curse of seducing any Dom/Top within a mile radius, usually by getting his ass beat in the process. Avantika was not a fluke when Darrow and his duel Fight Pit/Spa date shows otherwise
Honestly though, it’s Caleb who happens to incidentally seduce the most people, and it is usually other wizard twinks with crippling issues with authority. Essek is always welcome in the tower and often in the bed as well if he’s up for it :))))
*Meanwhile, two thirds of the triad, Fjord and Caleb, grabbing onto Beau* sir, ma’am, people who know better, this is my emotional support lesbian
*Jester, grabbing the other arm* And this is my occasional bed partner and blue bestie
*grabs onto Yasha* and this is her wife and my other female friend who I occasionally kiss on the mouth
Jester’s mum is delighted by her daughter’s many and wonderful partners but her father is A Gentleman and has had Enough of his daughter crashing his places to throw impromptu “sleepovers” we cant keep replace the furniture Jessie we just cant
Honestly, people from outside the group has given up on figuring out what the fuck in happening in the M9 and chalk it up to the kind of shit that happens when you live co-dependently with people you saved the world with
(The fact that there’s been rumours of a similar group on a different continent just cements the fact. It’s been decades and some of them are important political figures,,,,,and one is apparently dead??? But sometimes he shows up on the wings of ravens or some shit and people have to accept him and his antlered wife and their purple bf starting some shit in public almost immediately,,,gross)
y’all are missing out on the funniest relationship dynamic of CR2
Forget about the tangled web of love that stretches between the M9 (barring Caduceus our aroace king of staying out of drama), I would love if the love triangle between Fjord, Jester and Caleb just somehow naturally fell into a little triad all on its own.
Like no dramatic love confessions, they do that shit constantly with each other in secret little ways, but just Jester coming home to her mother like
Jester: mama I want to introduce my partners to you
The Ruby: ah yes that handsome orc boy that you kept going on about, he was so–
The Ruby: wait, partners???
Jester: lmao yeah I have Fjord, who rejected an eldritch monster he was accidentally raising to get close with Mother Nature herself, but that hobo wizard who eventually cleaned himself up and became one of the most powerful casters around is also my bf.
The Ruby, the actual sex god on this plane of existence and all others: hell yeah my daughter deserves the best, get ‘em my baby girl.
The dynamics of it are so funny as well. Like, Caleb is a highly respected wizard now under the tutelage of several powerful figures, so any time he goes to some sort of elbow-rubbing-fancy-pancy wizard event he of course brings his beaus.
And people are like??? “Ah yes, members of the iconic and world-saving group you are part of Mr Widogast, they must be of such high pedigree.”
And then someone recognises Fjord as Captain Tusktooth who had some sort of fake accent going on for years at a time (and didn’t he sleep with that Captain lady who was horny for water or something??? And then get her killed by the pirate king? There was something about a forbidden eldritch god?) and is praying that Mr Widogast’s other partner is normal–
but the first thing that Jester tells anyone is: “have y’all heard about my mother, best lay in the land? I am the daughter of the greastest sexer around and my childhood imaginary friend is my personal god, anyway how are you?”
Even better, out of the three, the tiny blue tiefling is the only one who can pick up and hoist their partners around, making the comical sight of long-cat and long-suffering Caleb being slung bonelessly over one shoulder, while a blushing Fjord is held like a football under the other as Jester parades them down the street in her cute frilly dresses.
Fucking FjordxJesterxCaleb is where the good shit is at wake up sheeple
Imagine Percy meeting the Mighty Nein. Yes, there’s a trigger-happy goblin and an adorable tiefling and a woman that he should really introduce to Grog, but then he meets
- The one who made a pact he didn’t quite understand with a powerful evil entity that threatens to harm him if he doesn’t do its bidding
- The one who lost his family in one tragic night and was driven mad so now he spends his time trying to make things right
- The one who grew up with a big family until a dark magic tainted his home and now he just wants to be with his siblings again
- The one who’s smart but standoffish and her self-assured attitude isn’t doing her any favors (not to mention she wears blue and is secretly motivated by a need to prove she can exceed her father’s expectations)
“…No no no no, this won’t do. You’re all coming with me. Have you ever had snow mead? Whitestone has some of the best honey in all of Tal’Dorei. Vex’ahlia! Vex’ahlia darling, go tell the children they have four new siblings!”