Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Season 2 Spoilers:
The only way for this to be fixed is for Aziraphale to be put in one last, very dramatic “Crowley and/or Humanity vs Heaven” situation.
And he chooses Crowley. He chooses their side. Bonus points if he does it instinctively.
Maybe we bring it around to the “I’ve never killed anything” bit from season one.
Neil and fic writers feel free to use this. Just give me credit. 😂
And when this happens, it’s gonna feel so good.
And it better end in their garden in the South Downs.
Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers Below:
In episode 2 when Crowley asks Nina about Maggie she says, “Not a thing. Definitely. We’re just friends. Actually we barely know each other.”
This is verbatim what Aziraphale used to say about Crowley. And Crowley, who misinterprets the understanding between himself and the angel, says “Got it.”
He doesn’t get it. Yeah, it’s an excuse but it doesn’t mean “this is the person I’m deeply in love with, I just can’t say it”. It means, “We have some kind of deep connection but we haven’t worked it out yet”.
And Crowley just doesn’t seem to get that heaven is still a big part of Aziraphale.
He rejects Aziraphale too. Aziraphale asks him to go to Heaven with him and Crowley says no. And we the audience understand why, but Aziraphale doesn’t.
They’ve clearly never talked about any of this before.
Plus, throughout the entire season, he doesn’t seem to consistently know where Aziraphale’s loyalties are.
He says “the existence I have carved out for myself.”
Aziraphale is the one to say “I thought we carved it out for ourselves”.
Crowley straight up says that Aziraphale only calls when he’s bored, when he needs to gush about his good deeds, or if he needs something.
After meeting Muriel, Crowley says, “I don’t know how your lot have stayed in charge all this time.”
My point is dolphins that they need to communicate!!! Both of them are at fault for what happened, and yet how could they possibly know any better?
Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers Below:
I love Nina and Maggie, and love everything they say in their final scene. But they got one thing wrong.
Yes Aziraphale does believe in magic. That he can fix a system beyond repair. But he’s nothing like Maggie aside from aesthetic. He does not show his emotions, not really. Not when it counts. Maggie tackles emotional issues head on while Aziraphale is the literal embodiment of repression.
Crowley isn’t an exact parallel to Nina, because he’s never actually opened himself up. Despite all of the atrocities he’s seen, he’s still got a bit of hope and optimism.
For all of his hard edges, Crowley believes in magic too. He believes in love confessions in the rain, in looking into someone’s eyes and knowing it’s meant to be. That “one good kiss” means happily ever after.
Good Omens Season Two Spoilers Below:
Remember when the bandstand and “you go too fast for me” and “someone killed my best friend” were our biggest problems? Those were simpler times.
On one hand, I don’t want the “Metatron drugged the coffee” thing to be true because character development and recognition of religious trauma, but on the other hand…
Also don’t listen to Queen’s These Are the Days of Our Lives unless you want to sob.
(Luckily, the Bentley gets great mileage.)
Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers:
I’m doing a rewatch, but it has taken all day to watch the season. I keep pausing because I know what’s coming.
But now The Scene is here and…I discovered something that made it so much worse.
Aziraphale says, “Obviously you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys.”
He doesn’t say “they” he says “you”.
We know that Aziraphale doesn’t see Crowley as a demon not really. Crowley knows what he is, but Aziraphale sees him as a Fallen Angel. It probably doesn’t help that Crowley also often minimizes his own Fall (like telling Aziraphale that he sauntered vaguely downwards). It probably confuses Aziraphale even more. He can’t reconcile that Crowley is a demon who is nice.
And I don’t think Aziraphale wants to “fix” Crowley. I think he sees Crowley’s Fall as a mistake, and that Crowley deserves to be an angel (because he still thinks angels are good).
And it makes sense for Aziraphale to think this way. He just witnessed Gabriel’s redemption. Gabriel who tried to brutally murder him, and callously dismissed human life.
And yeah, Beelzebub is a demon falling in love, but Aziraphale probably explains this as “Beelzebub is another Fallen Angel (rather than demon)”.
Which could perhaps mean that his view of evil is a little more complicated than anyone, himself included, give him credit for. He thinks demons are evil, but not beyond redemption.
But in the moment, Crowley doesn’t think about any of that. He just hears Aziraphale call him “a bad guy”. After everything. In the moment when it matters most, Aziraphale lumps him in the evil category.
And both my heart and Crowley’s shatter a little bit more.
Season Two Spoilers Below
Alright, I’m gonna go on the defensive for Aziraphale.
Crowley is 100% justified to feel the way he does. He put himself in a vulnerable position, and was rejected. He wanted to be Aziraphale’s first choice for once, and yet again was denied it. More than that, Aziraphale wanted him to change (even though I think Aziraphale thinks he’s saving Crowley) so that they could be together.
But I don’t think Crowley realizes just how deep a hold Heaven has on Aziraphale. He knows and straight up says that both sides are toxic, but he doesn’t seem to get how hard it can be to leave a toxic relationship. I also don’t think he understands how Aziraphale’s faith in the righteousness of God is a part of his character.
Plus, Aziraphale finally feels validated in the eyes of Heaven, something he’s always wanted.
I cried so hard when Aziraphale got into that elevator because I was thinking of all the times I stayed with a toxic friend group, or with my abusive ex.
It hurts so badly to watch a character I love make a mistake that I’ve made.
Season 2 Spoilers Below!
Okay, unpopular opinion, but I kind of understand why Aziraphale may think Crowley would want to be an angel again, if we put aside the queer allegory of conformity for a moment.
Aziraphale probably remembers the first time he met Crowley (then Rafael) when Crowley was building the stars. Crowley had such a look of genuine joy and wonder on his face.
Aziraphale thinks he is being kind. Obviously, yes he still wants to fix Heaven, which is a futile pipe dream.
But, Aziraphale wants to give Crowley the stars again, and he thinks bringing him back to heaven is the only way to do that.
Aziraphale wants to save Crowley from an existence of eternal damnation. To forever protect Crowley from Hell which he sees as the only source of evil and torture. He still has his blinders on and doesn’t realize this about Heaven.
He just doesn’t realize that Crowley doesn’t need the stars and he doesn’t need saving.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself to cope.
I can’t with these reviews:
- “Indulgent, Romantic, and an Ineffable delight”
- “The Sweetest Love Story This Side of Heaven”
- “A lovey-dovey shipper’s delight”
Like, these last hours are killing me!!!!
Also, I hope they put the opening of Aziraphale’s book shop in. It was deleted from the first season, but it’s such a great “crowley being mischievous and also needing Aziraphale more than anything” scene.
So, I’m rewatching Season 1 of Good Omens because we are hours away from Season 2. (I’m very normal about this obviously).
Anyway, I noticed a line that I had never really thought about.
And I finally realized just how hopeful this series is. It’s something I so desperately needed so enjoy…
After Warlock’s birthday when Aziraphale and Crowley are in the car, Crowley mentions that “it’s the last [party] they’ll ever have”.
So…he doesn’t think this plan is going to work. He thinks the world is going to end, The whole “influence the antichrist” plan is his idea, but he doesn’t think it will work.
The funny explanation is that he is convinced after seeing Warlock’s behavior (which included bullying Aziraphale. How dare), he comes to the conclusion that Warlock (who he still believes is the antichrist at this point) is pure evil.
However, Crowley has been visibly less optimistic about their chances (as seen on the bus) for awhile.
Even after Dog is named he bleakly states “we’re doomed.” Yes, he could mean himself and Aziraphale, but his back-up plan is to run away together. I like to think he’s including the two of them along with the humans. Earth is their home as much as it is the humans.
But despite everything, he still tries. He still does his best to save the Earth.
Yeah, he doesn’t want to lose his easy life on Earth where he doesn’t need to work hard and he can drink and drive and listen to music and see Aziraphale relatively unnoticed.
But deep down, despite all of the bad he sees humanity commit, he still thinks that they are worth saving.
When he’s in his apartment, yelling at God, he expresses that She “shouldn’t test them (humanity) to destruction. Not to the end of the world.”
A demon from Hell who has seen the worst of humanity for 6000 years still thinks we’re worth saving. Because he’s also seen the good. And for him, that’s enough.
And that’s honestly so beautiful.
Everyday it’s been getting closer and now it’s here!!!
I don’t know what to do with myself!!!!
I reread this snippet from the book:
“Aziraphale had tried to explain it to him once. The whole point, he’d said—this was somewhere around 1020, when they’d first reached their little Arrangement—the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn’t become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked. Crowley had thought about this for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can’t start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle.”
And I had a few thoughts:
1. Aziraphale and Crowley spent 3 years straight having a philosophical debate. (This isn’t a whole lot of time considering their lifespans). Or they just spent three years around each other, then this rebuttal spontaneously occurred to him, and he blurted this out to Aziraphale out of nowhere (kind of like how the “ducks! That’s what water slides off” incident, just more prolonged).
2. Aziraphale and Crowley saw each other once in 1020, had this debate, and Crowley thought of nothing else but Aziraphale (more specifically Aziraphale’s argument, but still…). He came with this answer and either hung onto it in nervous excitement until he sees Aziraphale again or actively seeks out Aziraphale immediately to make this counter argument. He says it even in lieu of greeting before he can forget it.
Side note: I also think Crowley really wants to show off to his bookish angel that he’s smart too.
Not mine but still fun
Aziraphale : There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.
Crowley : ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
*
Aziraphale : Why are you on fire?
Crowley : This is just how my day is going.
*
Crowley : What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Aziraphale : If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will smite you.
Crowley : I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better.
Aziraphale : ...
*
Crowley , answering the phone: Hello?
Aziraphale : It’s Aziraphale .
Crowley : What did they do this time?
Aziraphale : No, it’s me, Aziraphale . It’s actually me.
Crowley : What did you do this time?
*
Aziraphale : You have your weirdly sincere humility.
Crowley : I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.
*
Aziraphale , opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.
*
Aziraphale : I hate you.
Crowley : Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.
*
Aziraphale , skipping rocks on a lake with Crowley : It’s such a beautiful evening.
Crowley : Yeah, it is.
Crowley : *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.
*
Crowley : I'm gonna get my pilot's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses.
Aziraphale : The big five licenses?
Crowley : Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.
*
Aziraphale : Are you trying to seduce me?
Crowley : Why, are you seducible?
*
Aziraphale : I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”
*
Crowley : I’m having salad for dinner!
Aziraphale :
Crowley : Well, fruit salad.
Crowley : Actually, it’s mostly grapes.
Aziraphale :
Crowley : Okay, it’s all grapes.
Crowley : Fermented grapes.
Aziraphale :
Crowley :
Aziraphale :
Crowley : It’s wine.
Crowley : I’m having wine for dinner.
*
Crowley : I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.
Aziraphale : I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.
*
Crowley : If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Aziraphale !
*Neither of them die*
Aziraphale : …
Crowley : …
Aziraphale : So do you wanna talk about somethi-
Crowley : No thank you.
*
Crowley on Monday: *glues 5p to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.
Crowley on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! 5p!
*
Aziraphale : You use humor to deflect your trauma.
Crowley : Awww, thanks-
Aziraphale : That’s not a good thing.
Crowley : All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.
*
Aziraphale : When do you usually go to sleep?
Crowley : Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.
*
*Crowley is fighting a monster*
Aziraphale : Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!
Crowley : The power to believe in myself!?
Aziraphale : No, a knife! Stab it!
*
Crowley , grinning: I have a knife!
Aziraphale : Put it down, Crowley .
Crowley : Make me! *sprints away*
*
Aziraphale : Pick a card, any card.
Crowley : Fine.
Aziraphale : Wait, that's my credit card!
Crowley : You said any card.
Once again, I did not come up with these, I just have quote generator access…
Crowley : I'm having problems with a guy...
Anathema : Like his dead body won't fit into your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?
*
Crowley : Who the fuck-
Aziraphale : Language!
Crowley : Whom the fuck-
Aziraphale : No.
*
Aziraphale and Crowley : I believe in you, Adam!
Adam, to themself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing they can think to say to me is that they don’t doubt my existence.
*
Aziraphale : There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?
Crowley : Did you just make that up?
Aziraphale : No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.
Crowley :
Aziraphale : A really long fortune cookie.
*
Crowley: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.
*
Aziraphale, texting Crowley: Text me when you’re home safely.
Crowley: I’m home dangerously.
Aziraphale: Stop it.
Crowley: I’m home lethally.
*
Gabriel : Pardon the intrusion, but-
Aziraphale or Crowley: On this moment or just my life in general?
*
Aziraphale: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?
Crowley: Because your toast would get soggy!
*
Aziraphale: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!
Crowley: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!
*
Crowley, at Nina’s: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.
Mrs. Sandwich, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.
*
Crowley, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.
*
Aziraphale: I have very high standards, you know.
Crowley: I can make spaghetti...
Aziraphale: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!
*
Crowley: You can do it Adam!
Crowley: But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch.
*
Crowley: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*
Aziraphale: *standing on the roof* Bless you.
Crowley: God?!
*
Crowley: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
Aziraphale:
Crowley: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
Aziraphale: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&M’s.
*
Aziraphale: Is five a lot of followers?
Crowley: Depends on the context.
Crowley: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers.
Crowley: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.
*
Crowley : You know what’s funny about Aziraphale ? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.
*
Crowley : Are you busy?
Aziraphale : Yes.
Crowley : Cool, listen to this...
*
Aziraphale or Nina: How would you like your coffee?
Crowley: As dark as my soul.
Aziraphale or Nina: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!
*
Crowley : I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.
Aziraphale: Crowley, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.
*
Aziraphale: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?
Crowley, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.
*
Crowley : *trying to get five seconds of sleep*
Aziraphale, poking Crowley ’s arm: Crowley Crowley . Crowley . Crowley .
Crowley : WHAT?
Aziraphale : …We’re out of Capri Suns—
*
Crowley : Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*
*
Crowley : *makes Aziraphale a cup of tea but puts salt in it*
Aziraphale : *sips tea*
Crowley :
Aziraphale : *finishes tea*
Crowley : Didn't it taste bad?
Aziraphale : Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Crowley, tearing up: Oh, okay.
*
Aziraphale : How petty can you get?
Crowley : I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
*
Aziraphale : Crowley, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.
Crowley : Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?
*
Crowley, to The Squad: You should change your passwords to “incorrect”. Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you, “your password is incorrect”.
*
Aziraphale : Not to brag, but I can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying.
*
Crowley : I wanna sleep for 40 hours.
Aziraphale : You know that's called a coma, right?
Crowley :
Crowley : That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.
*
Aziraphale : Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Crowley : I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Aziraphale : But you’re always acting stupid?
Crowley : ...
Crowley : Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
*
Muriel : Hey, aren’t you Aziraphale ?
Aziraphale : You a cop?
Muriel : No.
Aziraphale : Then yes, I am.
*
Aziraphale : Crowley ! Have you no dignity?
Crowley : Of course not! How long have we known each other?
*
Aziraphale : What are you drinking?
Crowley : Vodka.
Aziraphale : Straight?
Crowley : No, gay. Why?
*
Aziraphale : So you like cats?
Crowley : Yeah.
Aziraphale : *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*
*
Cop: You ran a red light.
Crowley : So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
Crowley : That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.
*
Aziraphale : What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Crowley : Burn the house down.
Aziraphale : And what did you do?
Crowley : I made dinner.
Aziraphale :
Crowley :
Aziraphale :
Crowley : And burnt the house down.
*
Aziraphale : Do you need help getting up?
Crowley : Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.
*
Crowley : Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.
*
Anathema: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Crowley : My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.
*
Aziraphale to Crowley : Turn that frown upside-down!
*a little while later*
Aziraphale : What are you doing?
Crowley , trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .
*
Gabriel: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Crowley: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.
I know a lot of these have been done but this is partly just for me.
Crowley: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.
Anathema: What hints have you given them?
Crowley: Well, I think about them a lot.
Crowley: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.
*
Aziraphale: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Crowley: AS ENEMIES?!
Aziraphale:
*
Crowley: *angrily presses Aziraphale against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Aziraphale: ...
Aziraphale: Are we about to kiss-
*
Crowley, throwing their head into Aziraphale's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Aziraphale, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty f***ing annoying, that's what you are.
*
Crowley: Aziraphale is playing hard to get.
Crowley: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
*
Crowley: This date is boring!
Aziraphale: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Crowley: Then why did you invite me?
Aziraphale: I didn’t, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "f*** you Aziraphale I'll do whatever I want!
*
Crowley: Aziraphale and I are no longer dating.
Aziraphale: Crowley, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
*
Aziraphale: I owe you one.
Crowley: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.
*
Aziraphale: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Crowley: Marry me.
*
Crowley: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for millennia now. No response.
Aziraphale: Wow. They sound stupid.
Crowley: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Aziraphale: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Crowley: I guess you’re right. Hey Aziraphale, I love you.
Aziraphale: See! Just say that!
Crowley: Holy f***ing s***.
Aziraphale: If that flies over their head then, sorry Crowley, but they're too dumb for you.
Crowley: Aziraphale.
*
Gabriel : Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Crowley : Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
*
Aziraphale : There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.
Crowley : I photosynthesize with this.
*
Aziraphale : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Crowley : It was autocorrect.
Aziraphale : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Crowley : Yes.
*
Aziraphale and Crowley, to the angels/demons: I'm allergic to death.
*
Crowley : I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
*
Crowley : Don’t worry, I have a permit.
Aziraphale : ...This just says “I can do what I want”.
*
Aziraphale : You know, Crowley , when you generalize, you tell general... lies.
Crowley : ...
Crowley : Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.
*
Crowley and Aziraphale : What’s up? I’m back.
Shadwell or Heaven/Hell : I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead
Crowley and Aziraphale : Death is a social construct.