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Confession: the things i want Varric to do to me. Tease to oblivion, keep me on edge for hours, show me what the dwarven stamina is all about. And when i finally have enough the tall human legs straddle him and ohhh he never imagined how much he loves being below. I fall onto his chest when im done and just play with it mindlessly. He's safe and he's loving and he's a friend BEFORE he is a lover always and ughhhh i want him so bad

When the cat won’t let you poop in peace 🙄

Varric and Blackwall: Grizzled or Masculine?

Transcript:

Varric: So how do you like being described, as "Grizzled" or "Masculine"?

Blackwall: Do I really have a choice?

Varric: No. I was just being polite. Going with "Grizzled" then!

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Dragon Age Inquisition

I hear chicks dig Bespectacled Varric.

"Varric Tethras, at your service!”

Oh Christmas dwarf, Oh Christmas dwarf,

How shiny is your chest hair?

He is perfection 😌🫶🏼💙

The Black Stag

Varric: Great, we’re in the Deep Roads. I feel myself getting dwarfier by the minute. Did I just sprout a beard?    

Varric: (Sighs.) I hate caves.

Cassandra: Yes, yes. You hate the Deep Roads, and caves, and the outdoors.

Iron Bull: And slopes. Uneven ground. The dark. Pretty much all kinds of weather.

Blackwall: Also quiet. Most kinds of smells. Rain. Water in general.

Sera: And everything that isn’t hearing himself talk.

Cole: The smell of the sea. “Who made the ground vertical?” Mountains covered in the dead.

Dorian: Orlesian cafes. Taverns that are too tidy. Slopes of greater than ten degrees.

Vivienne: And Orlesians, Fereldans, Nevarrans, mages, Templars, the entire Merchants Guild, nugs.

Varric: Look, I have to complain, or you’ll forget I’m even here and trip over me! I’m providing a service.