zerkalno

Latest Posts by zerkalno

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

i pulled the stunt of pretending i´m well when I was at my most delusional so I would be released so I get to self-regulate now

*by delusional I mean having paranoid thought-constructs and a feeling of pressure around. I def did feel better re:anxiety and keeping coherent thoughts after the treatment actually and can act like a proper Person I think*

and one (1) of the things that makes me feel less insane is actually giving in to my little obsessive thoughts in a while

just do the weird symbolic thing or stick to a pattern like a quantity to count

for the release but also to be doing in deliberately, to encase it in a regulation/speculation that is my own.

this is not possible if making deliberate decisions throughout the day is literally impossible because everything is regulated and restricted.

1312 hits different after being assaulted by cops

what is equally insane is how much worse things could have been, considering i´m read as a white woman. A few days ago the cops that killed Mouhammed Dramé , a 16-y/o black child in Germany last year, have been aquited! by court. He was spotted with a knife, pointing at himself and instead of an ambulance cops came round and had no better approach to prevent him from suicide than pepperspraying him, then shooting when he dashed forward towards them and away from the pepper spray. He died in hospital.

i´ve been in situations of similar structure, assumed to be unregulated and holding sharp objects and never was the event horizon being shot or even pepper sprayed. I pulled some real insane move once in a psychotic state, like potentially a SBC attempt that actually was aggressive towards a cop and didnt even get in police custody.

My encounters with cops and other institutional workers have def damaged me in several ways ( i feel I clawed my way out of the psychiatric complex these past months) and its not "i cant imagine how it must be to endure this manyfold and continiously", because actually now I can imagine better than before. but endure? idk

there´s so much pain and one of the things I need to relearn to survive is to feel rightful hatred/anger.. to let that be a uniting force with comrades. hope, too. I can´t keep piling up pain, mine and others´and be guilted into always-defensive modes of "allyship". i have my own struggle, my own hatred, my own scarred body I bring to this to counter the same enemies.

this body that I need to relearn to shelter and move and move to the appropriate space to me to be. to be at the right spaces and times ...

A fawn curled up beside a fake deer which is used for target practice. 

October 11 2019 - A little old lady throws rocks at the cops in Ecuador. [video]

"We must be bilingual even in a single language, we must have a minor language inside our own language, we must create a minor use of our own language…speaking in one's own language like a foreigner…That is the definition of style."

Gilles Deleuze

"تشعر الطيور بشيء يشبه الألم (والخوف) قُبيل هجرتها، لا يكسر هذا الشعور سوى التحليق (التحريك السريع للجناحين)".

‏— لورين نيديكر

Garo (ガロ) / Seirindō (青林堂) / Sep 1974 issue

actually my posting is not ego-centric I just avoid mentioning others for data security issues

"Because of TZ, I want to write a treatise against the ways in which utilitarian thinking has mutated our activism, our education, our action, our lives. I want to write declarations that defend trying, and trying again, because why not. This would be a manifesto that proclaims empowerment is not the state of feeling good in this reality, but a practice of life unsurrendered to living." - Eunsong Kim, “What I Did Not Do, Will Change Me”

I still haven´t found a healthy amount and way of exposure to the news / the reality of necrocapitalism/genocides happening continiously since 2 centuries /...[..]

and I feel there´s a serious flaw in the intention of sharing graphic content and how these images operate:

some people can´t be phased or even enjoy consuming it. most of them "leftists" would see as political opponents (justifying or endorsing violence towards certains groups of people I guess is somewhat linked to fascism, just as blatant ignorance/denial of it)

some people are empathazing with said groups/localities/lives to the point of 2nd hand traumatization. Some of these people "leftists" would see as (at least potential, if politicized) allies or are among them.

now, if this is taken to be true, who does this the distribution of such images weaken ?

"Be Afraid Of The Enormity Of The Possible"

yeah I fucking am now what???

the beautiful thing about mania/psychosis is feeling how any moment literally anything could happen differently

the absolutely terrifying thing about mania/psychosis is feeling how any moment literally anything could happen differently

ors thinkers

makers

act

There is no binary division to be made between what one says and what one does not say; we must try to determine the different ways of not saying such things, how those who can and those who cannot speak of them are distributed, which type of discourse is authorized, or which form of discretion is required in either case. There is not one but many silences, and they are an integral part of the strategies that underlie and permeate discourses.

Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality, vol. I, p. 27

why is this about to make me sob

Jenny Hval, from Girls Against God

NecroFacebook, necrophotography, necroprecision, necrobusiness, necrorespect, necrosharing, necroautonomy, necrochange, necrometropolis, necropatience, necroerudition, necroaid, necrotoy, necrodrama, necrokindness, necrocelebration, necroexperience, necroplanet, necroproperty, necroGoogle, necrosurveillance, necrostability, necrocommemoration, necrocolumn, necroappetite, necrofervour, necroamelioration, necroself, necroyou, necrowe…Can financial capitalism produce anything else? Are we still alive? Do we still want to act?

Paul Preciado, An Apartment on Uranus

Paul Klee, Hand Puppets (1916-25)

being aware of not being aware of so many (particularities to) things /situations/localities is one (1) thing about social media that´s actively making me crazy

the way my great-grandma had this exact carpet in her flat

reblogging this because this is the right stance on it so u guys know I´m aware that this is the right stance on it

espirit escalier by omgukilledkenney

the way acceptance will have to be the vessel to encompass everything including my insanity that was one to all the magnitude and multitude of things happening and I could not fully process