I Cannot Take Credit For This Pun But Please Consider

snug like a bug in a rug

I love the weirdly specific rules that go with answering a riddle. Like, “I Have Two Eyes But I Cannot See: What Am I?” And the answer’s supposed to be the word ‘iridescent’ because ‘two *i*’s’ right, but like. Why can’t the answer be like… A guy with really bad cataracts. Someone wearing a blindfold. My uncle’s dog. Like why does it gotta be deep

Back pain? Have you tried:

have you guys ever seen a hummingbird in its nest

lmao, idk i see these screenshots from martin shkreli’s trial and i just see how potential jury members act for instance:

like yall what kinda opportunity are you passing up, you have a real live capitalist in here who fucked up so bad you actually get the chance to make him face consequences and you’re like “sorry i can’t be unbiased”

WHO CAN??? it’s just gonna end up being a bunch of rich people who are like “hm, yeah hurting poor people, i can be impartial, sure.”

instead it should be yall who actually care. just be like “haha, yeah i’m impartial i love justice” and then slap him with that guilty verdict. come on. 

This fake yarn is supposedly better for sheep.

Aimed at people who don’t know where wool comes from, it’s 100% plastic. Yes, plastic.

So any garment you wash will release microfibres into the sea. It’ll never decompose.

You’re supposed to believe that sheep shearing is violent and cruel. There are imbeciles out there that work in an unprofessional manner while shearing, but that’s not the case overall.

Sheep don’t suffer from having their fleece removed.

Left on, the fleece can become a home for fly eggs and the subsequent maggots which can eat the sheep. Chemical treatments are available to prevent that happening. It’s much better for the sheep, the land and the farmer to avoid chemical use.

Don’t be fooled. Wool is a sustainable material, one we should make more and better use of.

we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

Reblog if:

You are tired

You are depressed

Just, love Slenderverse

Have fluffy hair (long or short)

Part of LGBT+

Mr. Jennings owns your soul

Kevin Haas is baby

Y'all like, Starbursts

"I'm baby"