Hello! I Just Found Out About Your Game Yesterday (I Haven't Tried The Demo Yet). Sorry To Bother You,

old doodles

hopefully i can watch some episodes of one piece without being interrupted (if I don't get distracted with Pokémon soulsilver)

"lighter?" shatters the silence that proofed the two of you in the empty hallway.

cécile frowns — very little deviation from his default expression. in all the time you've grown tentatively closer to the man, you'd really have thought he'd express more than this constant gesture of having his foot stuck up his own ass.

"no." he simply hums. his scar-ridden index and middle fingers clutch the waist of his cigarette, and he pulls it from his mouth to huff. your eyes follow the tendrils of smoke as they feel their way through the air, opting to ignore how they reel your gaze in with a suggestive curl over to his lips. his very pouty lips. you can't count the amount of times you've had to pry your eyes off their intimate entanglement with his cigarette filter, crowbar and all, in the past 30 minutes. hopefully, your own cigarette will keep you rightfully occupied.

"don't be a douche," you drawl. "you're not the only one who needs a little material reprieve."

"my patience for your shit has hit its limit 5 minutes ago. go use one of the torches in the other hallway."

"what, and singe off half my face while i'm at it?"

cécile offers you a pointed look, choosing to exercise silence. it's all you need to know that yes— he would definitely pay to see that.

"i don't think gael would appreciate you and i matching looks." you chirp.

cécile offers you a second, even more pointed look.

"you won't get anywhere using master gael to butter up to me," he flicks his wrist to send the greyed ashes from his cigarette butt flying before taking another drag.

"what? c'mon, i don't need gael to hit that soft spot of yours. you and i both know by now that you've grown weaker for me, or is your ego clogging you up from downstairs?" you laugh hoarsely, opting for a little hee-hee and a little ha-ha.

if only cécile had any humor in him.

cécile lazily pushes himself off the wall to face you, red eyes boring holes into your very skull as he backs you up impossibly further against the wall. you acquiesce to his deliberate show of power, taking one small step after the next back — not in a deliberate show of submission, however. it's not uncommon for him to use his towering stature and piercing gaze to get you to back off as soon as you cross some micro-boundary. at first, it did the job. you were smart enough to heed the big, red STOP sign. now? when you can see the ridges of the scar tissue that eat into his face, when you can smell his heady cologne, when you can almost feel his fist clench at his side... it's hard not to get a little excited in the dangerous game of 'string along the cat with your own tail' and throw all caution to the wind.

"there isn't a single moment i don't wish my hands weren't around your neck. not a single one. i've never met someone more insufferable," he hisses under his breath. alas, the usual this-secret-third-definitely-fucked-up-thing tension that pervades the air you share daily bombards your senses at full force alongside the tendrils of smoke that forcibly flee his lips when he looks at you like that. "you are so incredibly lucky you are under the protection of the sovereigns, not like you're present upstairs enough to even acknowledge that, because if master gael weren't here, i'd have—"

before you can stop yourself, the impulse rising in your throat gleefully kills all civility you did your darned best to attempt as you cave into the everlasting urge to dangle your own flesh in front of the lion.

"you'd have, you'd have— what? cracked my head open like an egg on this wall? save that charade, you'll sooner bore me to death than kill me yourself." you bark with laughter in his face. he doesn't reel back, even as you're sure your moist breath fogs his skin. no, he bares his teeth and leans into the bait.

"i might not be a god like your master, but i'll be fucked if you think i'm a helpless little damsel because i'm all alone in your world. you'd have killed me a long time ago if you were less pussy for it, that's what." punctuating the end of your little jab, you snatch the cigarette straight from his lips. it's a herculean task to ignore the thrill of nicking your pinky on his metal jaw, much less brushing his bottom lip, but you manage. fuck, by god you do. his eyes narrow impossibly smaller, before his hand flies up to clamp like a bear trap around your wrist. the blossom of pain is a dull agony compared to the tiny nick. your bones ache and protest at full under the force of his grip, so hard you fear they just might break, but somehow— somehow, you manage to wrestle your hand close enough to your face.

leaning in so close your foreheads practically touch, you bring his used cigarette to your lips— and you present to him the most grand, shit-eating grin you could manage as you take a fat inhale. the nicotine doesn't hit you first. it's the fact that the filter was damp before you kissed it.

the rush does flood your brain eventually, but in the end? you can't deny it pales compared to his pupils widening at the sight your lips. oh, it's just too much fun to not make a show of the cigarette dragging against your mouth for him as you pull away to puff smoke straight into his face. this could be your new addiction. he barely blinks as it assaults his eyes, and his gaze snaps back up to yours.

"you are impossible." he growls.

"me? impossible?" you chuckle, killing whatever meager distance that placated the two of you so you could stare directly into his eyes while you snuff out the cigarette on the lapel of his coat. he barely acknowledges the singe of fabric compared to the smell of you. "you could've just handed me your lighter, y'know. avoid all this." you gesture with a lazy roll of your wrist.

"so what? you could find some other way to get on all my nerves?"

"hah, another pussy excuse and you know it."

"you were right about one thing," he breathes. "you are no god. i don't think you are even man— you are something dirtier. more akin to a devil, tormenting me with every breath."

"you flatter me, cécile."

"that wasn't a compliment."

—

author's note; im severely sleep deprived so this is not my best work however? however? it doesn't matter. i needed to produce a cécile blurb at all costs. trying to make content off him with vague crumbs and my ever drooping eyelids is hard but ill try again when the extended demo drops lols

2024 in Review (Indie Games)

2023 | 2022 | 2021

Helloooo gamer friends!!!

I'm so tired.

Lol.

Anyhoo, y'all don't care about that!!! Y'all are here to see what games I played and what the heck I have to say about them! Reminders: I don't bash games I didn't like, and I try to post more in-depth thoughts and reviews and general yapping to Gem's Game Gems.

DEMOS

When Stars Collide - I am by no means a sci-fi girlie. I need a HEAPING dose of fantasy or fantasy elements to help me out. That said, y'all might remember how I went feral for Gilded Shadows, so I am locked in for this journey with WSC. It's just as mysterious and lore intense as GS, but also just as intriguing and engaging!

Love Me, Love Me Not - I looooove when a game charms me to pieces??? Our MC Addie, the introduced LIs, the story, the art??? Where do I begin?? Anyway, please check this one out y'all! I'm impatient for the full game (shocker, I know).

Threads of You: Beyond the Bay - So my thoughts and reactions for this one are on the side blog, but I really enjoyed the demo and I have eyes for Chris, Vince, and Alex hehehe.

Lost in Limbo - While I'd been keeping tabs on this game for what seems forever because of the character art that originally caught my attention, I almost didn't finish the demo because it was lowkey disturbing (I'm a wimp and not all horror is made equal). But!!! BUT!!!! I push through to the end, had a good time, noted that I need to play the full game in the daylight with the music turned down low. And I absolutely adore Ara and Xal so, so much.

A Simple Twist of Fae - Absolutely no one cares, but I read a lot of manga this year. Like, a lot-a lot. Like, ~180 books and 1/3 of that was manga. Anyhoo, When JMB announced she was cooking up this game, I was impatient to get my grubby hands on it. AND THEN I PLAYED IT AND IT WAS THE SHOJO INSPIRED GAME OF MY DREAMS?!?! Like.....I wish I could both have it on my computer and also on my bookshelf. Final build dropping when??? (Also the UI design is utterly delightful, I cry.)

The Summit Library (FULL DEMO) - The last time I reviewed this game, we got chapter 1 as a taste, and I was. Locked! In!! The full demo gives us the first 2 chapters as well as the previews for all the romance routes and while giving everyone a whirl I'm *still* undecided on who to go for in the future, I must mention this: TSL is so aspec friendly???? I do love a game with smut, don't get me wrong looks at College Craze but sometimes I have my moments of being overwhelmed/sliiiiiiightly repulsed and the variety of options you have to choose how you react and interact with the various LIs in this game is amazing. (I have more thoughts on this, so I'll try to remember to post to the sideblog, but please understand that this game is totally worth your attention and time imo!!!)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

Rabbit Trail - This. Game. Is. SO. Cute. *punches the air* 😭🥹(Copy + paste of my review on the itch.io page -> This was so charming, so fluffy, so cozy, just delightful all around??? I've only reached one ending so far, but René is just the cutest protag to play as, and his interactions as he delivers his mail made me cheese so dang hard! (Also, I wanted to fight his parents for not properly appreciating their kid LOL))

Stuck by Design - I checked this game out because I was looking into games that fellow programmers had worked on, and this cozy game stumbled onto my lap. The music was perfect, the UI is beautiful and clean, and I thoroughly enjoyed the performance of the VA for the LI, Yuki.

Wake Me Up If You Need Me - I called this game older!HSDJY MC x Ryan coded and I'm still right. The voice actor MAKES this game, and the interactions the player has with Reed is so flippin' delightful?? All my love and adoration to the game developer. May they make more beautiful games.

CTRL FREAK - The developer team brought us The Faithfulness of the Universe which is a banger in its own right, and CTRL FREAK is the team's commercial, finished project that I also found delightful. The soundtrack and the animations are chef's kiss 💛

Breathless Winds - Ooo, baby, ooo. So. If there is only one game you play from this list and you have some spare cash to spend (at the time of writing, the game is on sale!!!) please, please, check this one out. It left me absolutely spellbound, both the orginal demo, and then the full game. While I didn't get to blog fully about this one, and I only tackled 2 of the 4 routes, this game is absolutely everything. This is my indie game of the year. Poppy and her journey resonated with me, and between the music and the art, everything just came together so perfectly.

Wake Up Magical Girl - Listen TF up, if miseri creates it, I'm gonna play it, idc, idc. That being said...this game had a kick to it that when I finished my first playthrough, I had to stare off into space and gather myself. It takes the concept of magical girls and heroism and gave me a teeny tiny existential crisis, but other than that, I'm fine, it's fine, play this game, thank you.

Sleeping Under Spells - God, I love me a game where I get to argue with a LI. I love it. Bonus points if it's lowkey stupid stuff we're bickering over LOL!!

Our Wonderland - Yeah, uh huh, you thought you'd escape me talking about this game this year, didn't yah???? Too bad. The fifth and final arc dropped this year and I played it and I cried and felt for the briefest moments that life was okay. To say something different than my review of last year, I love that this seems to be the game that helps fellow ace devs find and flock to each other, I'm not kidding 🤣 so thank you Carrot for helping us fellow aspec peeps feel seen and validated and understood!

I Watched a Full Game Playthrough and Highly Recommend

Replay Boys - Okay so technically at the time of posting, there's still one more video I'm waiting to watch (Naja of BlerdyOtome uploaded her stream to YouTube) but my Godddddd. I've had my eye on this game for FOREVER but I was lowkey waiting for it to move to itch.io (I'm still a lowkey Steam hater 🥹) anyhoo, watching this absolutely wild game made me go ahead and buy a copy for myself to replay at a later time, but it's just great. The summary only scratches this surface of what the game entails 🤣

Gemi’s Gushies

(a list within a list of games that have devs trucking along in the background and I want to spotlight for y’all)

Save the Villainess - Life got away with me and unfortunately I never finished my play of the demo BUT what I have played was fun and I hope to return to this in the new year!

Woman of Xal 2 - Plot Twist Studios is on that Sequel Train with the next installment of WoX!!! Which I'm VERY excited for!!! I've unfortunately only completed one playthrough of this game, but the first game is definitely a masterclass in replayability, and I hope next year I'll be able to do a second playthough as I wait for game 2's Kickstarter!

...

And that's 2024! Any shared favorites?

- Gemini 🫶🏾

Screenshot redraw featuring our beloved, Qin <3

artists who don't specialise in writing should make out sloppy style with writers who don't specialise in drawing. people who do both should just sit in the cuck chair in the corner idk

man this guy is my favourite character (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him) (throws rocks at him (thr

And what is so beautiful about them is this. Luffy is touchy and would always feed Zoro's touch starved body while Zoro is Luffy's rock where he knows Zoro would never let him be alone.

✦ AMON AND ARA'S REWORKS - TAKE 2

Back to the usual schedule, folks! We want to get these sprites settled before the New's Year, so let's see if everyone (or almost everyone!) is happy with this new iteration! :^)

Let's start with Amon who was the one who needed tweaks the most, as Ara just needed some adjustments!

✦ AMON

And a close-up, so y'all don't need to open the image on a new tab and all that jazz!

Let's see the changes:

Desatuarted his skintone

Detailed his face further with textures and shadows to better translate the old sprite into the new style (age, facial features, etc.)

Accentuated scars

Made his forehead bigger

White streaks on his hair accentuated a little bit

✦ ARA

Ara just needed a few tweaks here and there, which are the following:

Desaturated her skintone and haircolor

Added an anklet bracelet (thanks to @/kinnel for the suggestion!) and a ring on her toe

Modified her thigh again because we weren't entirely satisfied with it

And that's it, folks! We have to thank everyone for the last round of feedback, and I want to take a moment to also thank Raquel for her hard work. She has worked on this with a lot of passion and love, and dare I say at an impressive rythm. We obviously couldn't do this without her, so let's all hope she can get some rest these holidays! 💜

My Captain

if a trans man talks about the discrimination and violence he faces because he’s a trans man and you say “that’s not because you’re a man, it’s just because you’re trans! you can’t be oppressed for being a man!” you owe him and every other trans man a minimum of $100 each.

you cannot treat our transness and our manhood as two completely separate things. we’re trans because we’re men and men because we’re trans. when we’re oppressed for our transness, we’re being oppressed on the basis of a transition to manhood. our transness and our manhood are inseparably linked. you don’t get to ignore the existence of trans manhood as a unique cohesive position in the hierarchy of gendered oppression just because the concept of a gender-oppressed man doesn’t fit into your current understanding of how those hierarchies work. you don’t get to pick and choose whether you want to address us as trans people or as men based on what you find the most convenient for your worldview in a given situation because we’re always both and there’s nothing contradictory about that.

if a trans man says he’s oppressed on the basis of being a man and the conclusion you take away from that is that trans men can’t be trusted to talk about our own oppression and his intentions must be malicious, you’re just a transphobe. the correct conclusion to take away from that would be that it’s time to update your understanding of gendered oppression because your current way of thinking about it doesn’t apply to an entire group of people. if you immediately get defensive and paint an entire group of trans people as unreliable narrators of their own lives instead, you’re just being transphobic.

if you believe that an oppressed group should get to lead discussions on their own oppression and be believed by default when they talk about how it works, you have to apply that principle to trans men too. we’re not an exception to the rule, you’re just a hypocrite making excuses.