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when i watch other people my age, i see that they have this kind of effortless way about them that i don’t think i’ll ever have. the way they talk to each other and the way they go out and pursue what interests them without having to think twice about it. the way they know how to conduct themselves, the way it all comes so naturally to them, like breathing or swimming or riding a bike. it’s like they all have something ingrained in them that i just don’t have, and it’s so embarrassing and it’s fucking killing me. i wish i knew how to be okay.
one of my favourite things in the world is casual intimacy. a small hand on your back when you’re in crowded streets. a gentle kick from where they’re sitting across the table. a head on the shoulder, a hand in your hand, a squeeze on the arm as they’re walking past you. and i think maybe love isn’t made up of grand gestures or explosive displays but that it’s made up of the little things. the little things that say i’m here and i care for you and that your life has intertwined so deeply into mine that that there’s no need to think, because casual intimacy comes easy