Elon Musk Basically Did A Modified Nazi Salute At The Whole Ass Inauguration And Immigration Raids In

lgbt (linguine, garlic, basil, tomatoes)

@HAIKYUU : MAKE SURE TO GET IT ON FILM, BABY!

a lewd anthology series of haikyuu men filming you and him fucking; after a party, while he’s at work, as you’re making pasta.

one thing is for sure: you’re always, always the star of his film.

nsfw content, minors do not interact ˖  ݁ . ࿓ each part has its own warnings. please be sure to read them all thoroughly < 3 kiss

starring ˖  ݁ . ࿓ miya atsumu, sakusa kiyoomi, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji, matsukawa issei, kuroo tetsuro, miya osamu — more characters may be added.

reblogs are incredibly appreciated >3<

001. LA SANTA

✩ ˛˚ . miya atsumu is your best friend — you do everything with him. and so, obviously, you’re gonna ask him how you’re supposed to suck dick after attending a halloween party. and maybe he’ll show you other things, too.

002. TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME

✩ ˛˚ . your husband — sakusa kiyoomi — wants to treasure every moment of your honeymoon with photographs and videos. giving you every ounce of his raw heart and stuffing you with his cum as he records is part of that whole ordeal.

003. ME PORTO BONITO

✩ ˛˚ . your boyfriend is shit — doesn’t know the first thing about pleasing you. so, why not let star athlete oikawa tooru wrap his gold medal around your neck as he fucks you dumb? as he records the dirty deed and sends it to your (soon to be ex) boyfriend?

004. EFECTO

✩ ˛˚ . akaashi keiji is convinced you’re a nymph with the way you make him feel. especially as he’s fucking you in his bathroom, in front of the mirror — one hand on your pussy, other holding his phone to record the unfolding events before the two of you.

005. I FALL TO PIECES WHEN I’M WITH YOU

✩ ˛˚ . you’re matsukawa issei’s favorite shot girl. you’re so sweet, so pretty — he wants to absolutely ruin you and record the whole process.

006. A LOVE FILLED LUNCH

✩ ˛˚ . kuroo tetsuro — your beloved and doting husband — loves it when you take time out of your day to make him a love filled bento and adores it when you take it to his office, since you always make sure to stay for dessert.

007. BREAKFAST AT ONIGIRI MIYA’S

✩ ˛˚ . your boss — miya osamu — asks you to come in early on sunday mornings, the busiest day of the week. today, though, he might have to close shop to rearrange your guts in his kitchen.

© kentoangel — do not copy, repost, modify or translate my works.

just my (blood) type | todoroki x reader

pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader

length: 5,300 words

summary: The real Halloween treat was how sinfully handsome Todoroki Shouto looked in his vampire costume. But that wouldn’t be enough to save him from the petty wrath of one drunk lobster. (In which you suffer deeply, wingwoman a friend, and pick a fight with the hottest boy at UA.)

tags: romance, sfw, halloween, idiot behavior

warnings: aged-up characters, underage drinking, drunk kissing (the characters knowingly and purposefully keep it to kissing only, and everyone is happy about it, but reader is def tipsy.)

notes: Happy (early) Halloween!! I’m not quite where I had hoped to be with this fic but I will be out most of the weekend and wanted to get this up in time. I hope you guys stay safe and have a super fun day!!

You hadn’t been serious when you’d said it.

At least, not at first—not until you saw how much it could mean to your best friend, how much it could alleviate her insecurities.

It had started as a joke, meant to encourage Eiko to stop being a self-deprecating idiot, and start working up the guts to ask her crush out. The UA third years were throwing a halloween party in the Class A dorms, and it would be the perfect opportunity for Eiko to make her move. You had been working on her for the better part of an hour, wheedling, trying every single angle—until you came to the final, extremely regrettable comment that set everything into motion.

“It’s Sero Hanta,” Eiko wailed, from where she was currently sprawled atop your covers with a pile of snacks and her homework, taking up your entire bed. “He’d never be into me.”

You rolled over from your spot on the floor to glare balefully up at her. “Sero Hanta is a confirmed straight boy. There is absolutely no reason why he wouldn’t be into you like one hundred percent of all other men on this earth.”

If three years at UA had taught you anything, it was that every flavor of man—business student, general course, support course, or hero track—was always interested in Eiko. She was a tiny thing, with shiny dark hair, pert features, and a sweet-tempered charm. Even Bakugou Katsuki wasn’t immune, remembering his manners enough to mutter a “sorry” when he bumped her in the halls—instead of declaring her an extra and demanding she retreat before him like the tides before Moses, which seemed to be his standard for handling everyone else.

Eiko had had a bevvy of admirers since your first day of classes, and their ranks had only grown larger over time. There was no way Sero wouldn’t be into her. She was too pretty, too interesting, and too sweet.

But she was also inexplicably far too shy for her own good.

And far too whipped for one gangly, tape-themed future hero to see they were of the same league.

“There’s going to be a million girls at the party, there’s no reason why I should stand out to him,” Eiko said, running a hand through her dark tresses, before throwing it down on your pillow in apparent exasperation.

You rolled your eyes. There was no reasoning with her when she was like this. You would just have to play along.

You patted your chin as if in thought. “Hmm. If that’s the case, then we’ll just have to make you stand out.”

Eiko blinked, like she hadn’t considered this. “How? I’m just…me.”

God if she wasn’t your best friend you could have strangled her for how oblivious she was.

You’d have liked her less, you supposed, if she was actually as up her own butt as she rightfully should be, but this was bordering on idiotic. She was already going to be the hottest girl at that party, in the tiny black dress and cute little cat ears she’d shown you earlier today.

She’d stand out by just existing.

“I don’t know,” you said, picking your phone up off the floor and absently scrolling. “We’ll spend extra time on your makeup. We can put fun chalk and glitter in your hair. We can hire you a phalanx of men to bear you around like a queen. I’ll even stand next to you dressed as a frigging lobster if I have to—then you’ll look insanely good by comparison.”

You expected a snort to issue from her direction—and it did.

But not before there was a slightly too-long pause, like she had briefly considered the idea.

“….You’re serious,” you said, sitting up. “You want me to?”

Eiko looked horrified. “No, I don’t want you to! You have to be cute, too! What if there is some boy you end up wanting to get to know?”

You’d met the majority of third-year boys, and they generally did not want to get to know you, so her point was immaterial. Even Todoroki Shouto, who was reputed among your classmates for his princely manners, seemed openly mystified by your very existence.

In your opinion you’d done nothing wrong, the few times you’d interacted with him—on school-cleaning rotation, in joint-class assignments, at third-year movie nights—but he seemed perplexed by you nevertheless.

Your first meeting had been in the dorm basements, where he’d stood, looking handsome but utterly lost, like some tragic prince from an ancient ballad. He was gazing helplessly between a basket of laundry, a bottle of detergent, and the washing machines, and you couldn’t stifle the laugh that burst its way out of you.

You’d made your way over, gathered just enough information from him to determine that his laundry had always been done by hired house staff, and then proceeded to talk him through the process of doing his own in your least judgmental tones. You also took care to also detail what he was going to do when it came time to use the dryers, laughing when he acted as though they were going to wake up and bite him.

You made light conversation with him while he worked through the process, and then you’d dumped in your own laundry and bade him farewell. You’d thought the entire interaction had been normal enough, as you hadn’t talked for that long or discussed anything super serious.

You guessed you must have stepped wrong somewhere, however, as ever since then, Todoroki had watched you with that same little wrinkle on his brows, like he was just as confused by your existence as he was the washing machines downstairs. You tried your best to act normal whenever you ran into him after that, but nothing seemed to disabuse him of his prejudices.

Whatever.

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NEW MATCH FOR @whorefornoodles

suna wants to message you. . .

netflix watch party? i'll doordash you concessions

#24 on ur spotify wrapped describes how 2024 will go, how screwed r u

— HQ BOYS + WHAT THEY WEAR

feat. iwaizumi hajime, kuroo tetsurō, miya atsumu, miya osamu, bokuto kōtarō, yaku morisuke, hanamaki takahiro, matsukawa issei

note. this also includes what they smell like. idc if u agree w these. i’m correct. objectively.

IWAIZUMI always smells like sweet tobacco when you get close enough. it mixes with his sweatshirt long enough that when you wear them, it swirls around you in a way that settles deep in your skin. (and, of course, there’s that scent of sea salt that rests on tanned skin. so when he kisses you, you almost swear you can taste it). so in that way, iwa will always remind of you feeling a little younger, of making stupid decisions just for the hell of it, of that first taste of independence that you’ll never get back.

KUROO smells like oak, something that could almost be the scent of leather mixing his skin. he’s strong when he hugs you, all encompassing as his arms find your body, pulling you in until all you know is the material of his shirt—either a flannel or a dress shirt, depends if you’re at a bar or not—and the scent of his cologne. and when he presses the lips to the top of your head, you know that he’s all encompassed by you, too.

ATSUMU smells almost like citrus—bright and sweet enough to pull you in and leave you smiling in his shoulder. he’ll make fun of you every moment he can, teasing you with the lilt of his voice and the bow of his head, but when you meet him with laughter, you find that his own is quick to follow.

OSAMU smells like a deep sandalwood. it’s the kind that buries into you and holds you close, the kind that twists around your whole body like it could keep you there forever. it’s almost warm, low and comforting and kind in a way that could only mean osamu. so when his thumb swipes against your cheek, when it follows the curves of your face, you allowing yourself to be consumed—by all of him.

BOKUTO smells like nutmeg, maybe a little cinnamon if you catch him on an especially good day. it’s the scent of those sweet spices, of something that feels a bit like home and that you know would taste sweet if it were to ever land on your tongue. it’s that mix of sugar and laughter and all things good that comes with bokuto. it’s enough to want him to hold your hand or your waist or whatever he may wish until the days become too long for either of you to stay awake.

YAKU smells like fresh pine, a little youthful in the way he smiles and teases you with every slip of his tongue. he draws you in with that damn taunting gaze, with the way his teeth poke out through that held-back smile, only to leave you with your eyes rolling and laughter threatening your voice. and he loves it. every second of it. so he does it everyday just to hear it over and over again.

HANAMAKI smells a little like acrylic paint—not the part that stings your nose and leaves your eyes watering, no. it’s the sweetness of it, the parts of him that are covered in little bits of red and blue from old art pieces. some days, he smells like the dusting of charcoal, of pen against paper—but no matter what, it’s him and it’s passionate and it’s more than you could ever ask for.

MATSUKAWA smells like clean linens. it’s hardly more than a suggestion of a scent, but when you get close enough—your nose buried in his collar while laughter pricks at his tongue—you can smell it. and it’s something that feels uniquely soft to him, something that you would know if it only passed by the quake of your breath, so it’s enough.

reblog this to remind the person you reblogged it from that theyre loved

hockey au sero …… you’ve poisoned my brain.

after his game, he takes you on the ice, after he showers ofc. he’s exhausted and tired but he wants to spend a little time with you so he teaches you how to skate ….. he’s holding your hands and skating backwards meanwhile you’re terrified of falling, but in his words, he’d “never let that happen”. it’s going pretty well, you’re starting to feel pretty graceful, then all of a sudden, he stops. and you crash into his chest. but do you fall ? ofc not ! bc hes holding your waist and the next thing you know he’s cupping your face and asking for a kiss and you nod and fuck you’re kissing and wait omg was this was his plan all along ?? holy shit.

ive been sighing over this all day.

the idea he lures you on to the ice, saying he's still wound up from the game, but really he just wants to spend time with you sharing his passion--

and he slowly gets touchy, more flirty, until he tricks you into crashing with him.... and he's dipping you, about to kiss you on the ice when the speaker system crackles to life.

"No sexual contact on my ice," Aizawa's voice booms. Sero is already sheepishly separating, waving to the announcer box with an apologetic grin, "Go home, Sixteen,"

Oh no I'm thinking of giving cowboy Kirishima all the babies he wants so we have "little helpers" on our ranch