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More Posts from Whixy and Others

5 years ago

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

by mysterylover123

Warning, anime onlys: I’ll be mentioning Manga stuff, though only 2 of them are all that spoiler-y

#20. YOU MADE THAT BORROWED POWER Ā YOUR OWN

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

3.19 ā€œRUSH!ā€ Provisional License Exam Arc

What Happens: Bakugo asks Midoriya if he’s made ā€˜that borrowed power’ his own, complimenting him indirectly by saying that of course he passed. Deku gets super excited at being complimented by him.

Why I like it: For all the shit they throw at one another early on, BK & DK do really look up to/respect each other. They won’t admit it easily, but scenes like this (and a later scene in Chapter 194, where Deku compliments Kacchan and he too reacts extremely) showcase that respect. I love it. Also, Kacchan knows Deku’s AM’s inheritor already.

#19. HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANY BETTER? (Manga)

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Chapter 168 ā€œThe Strange Tale of Aoyamaā€ Interlude arcs

What happens. Post Internship arc, Bakugo asks Deku if he’s gotten any better since they last talked. Deku says no, and Bakugo reminds him that he said he’d surpass him. This prompts Deku to work harder.

Why I like it: Ideal RivalShipping is about two characters pushing each other to be their best selves. Bakugo is great at getting Deku to try harder, just as Deku prompts his best self.

#18. YOUR QUIRK IS AMAZING, KACCHAN

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Backstory flashback, multiple times. Mostly Battle Trial Arc

What happens: Baby Deku and Kacchan walk through the woods together, talking about quirks, before DK is found to be quirkless. This is one of many scenes of Baby Deku and Kacchan being casual friends.

Why I like it: I love the cute scenes of them as kids, where they seem to be actual friends and hang out together, bonding over All-Might and quirks and heroes. I hope we get to see them hang out like that again as adults some day.

#17. SECRET OFA TALKS (MANGA SPOILERS!)

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Chapter 217: End of joint Training Arc

What Happens: Kacchan joins in the AM and Deku talks (for the 2nd time) to discuss what’s happening with OFA. He also works with Deku on trying to master his new ability.

Why I like it: Bakugo is instantly able to help Deku zero in on the information he needs up joining the secret OFA talks, in a way that AM wasn’t able to. He makes a great partner for Deku here, getting right to the point and refusing to waste time.

#16. ā€œI COULD MOVE LIKE KACCHANā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Hero-Killer Arc, 2.14-2.19

What Happens: Deku is trying to master OFA. He thinks about how he wants to move, and uses Kacchan’s moves as his model. He’s able to discover Full Cowling like this, which lets him fight Stain and do well in the race - and everyone notices (Iida, Uraraka, Todoroki, Bakugo) that he’s moving like Kacchan.

Why I like it: Deku has lots of moments where he thinks ā€œWhat would Kacchan doā€ or tries to model himself on the guy. He admires the crap out of him - but not in the blind way he tries to imitate AM, or Ochaco tries to imitate Deku, or Iida Ingenium. Because Deku doesn’t hero-worship Baku, but sees his flaws, he’s able to imitate him without losing himself.

#15. ā€œHE’S AMAZINGā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Battle Trial Arc, 1.07-1.08

What happens: Midoriya and Uraraka are pitted against Kacchan and Iida in mock battle. Midoriya goes on and on and on about how awesome Kacchan is and how much he wants to beat him - first in a speech to Uraraka, later telling Bakugo to his face.

Why I like it: Deku really looks up to Kacchan, and even at their most adversarial, he still talks about him in positive terms and speaks of him as a cool guy he wants to surpass. Deku doing this is also good for Bakugo, since he’s able to acknowledge his flaws and strengths without kissing his ass like his sidekicks in middle school; Deku beating him upsets his pride and sets off his Character Development.

#14. TWIN STARS OF CLASS 1-A

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

3.17 Class 1-A, License Exam Arc

What Happens: Aizawa meta’s about his class with Ms Joke, explaining that Deku and Kacchan are the center of every Class A incident, and despite not getting along, their presence elevates everyone else up.

Why I like it: The staff of UA seem to ship BKDK. They teamed them up to fight AM and encourage them to get along. Aizawa sees clearly how each one inspires everyone else. This speech groups them together as a duo who act in tandem. Twin Stars.

#13. ā€œTHE MOST AMAZING HERO ALWAYS WINS IN THE END.ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

2.24 ā€œKatsuki Bakugo originā€ Flashback

What happens. Baby Kacchan fights off a bunch of older kids, even though he’s in tears. Baby Deku watches him from afar and looks deeply impressed.

Why I like it: Deku seems to have admired Kacchan since he was really, really young. I’m not sure when this scene takes place, but Deku’s big smile and wide, shining eyes when watching Bakugo seem like a mark of affection and love to me.

#12. ABOUT MY/YOUR SHOOT STYLE

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

3.23 Deku vs Kacchan Part 2

What happens: Post Fight, under house arrest alone, Deku and Kacchan have a very civil conversation, where depending on the translation either Deku brings up Shoot style and asks for advice, or Kacchan offers it on his own. Ends with Deku smiling.

Why I like it: Post-DVK2, they immediately establish that they’re now capable of talking to each other in civil terms. Kacchan gives Deku civil advice, and despite saying ā€˜it pissed me off’, the whole exchange is beautifully positive.

#11. GET OUT OF MY WAY, DEKU

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

1.12 All Might USJ Arc

What happens: Deku jumps in to save Al Might and is nearly killed by Kurogiri. At the last second Kacchan saves him by taking down Kurogiri. Also Later Kacchan is nearly killed and Deku screams in horror.

Why I like it: Bakugo doesn’t have a ton of scenes where he saves Deku, but the few times he does save someone/show concern for them, it’s usually him. This is Baku’s first save, and though he phrases it in rude terms, he still does it. Actions> words.

#10. WELL, NOW I’M EVEN MORE EAGER (MANGA)

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Chapter 202, joint Training Arc

What Happens: Deku and AM go off to talk OFA. Kacchan refuses to be left out and joins them voluntarily. Noticing Deku is upset he encourages him in his own way, which AM observes. Once Deku smiles, Kacchan goes back to being his abrasive self.

Why I Like it: Baku is newly nicer (in his Tsundere way) after DVK2. He’s actually able to be kind to Deku and encouraging. This is similar to the advice the OFA users give Deku later, which helps him actually use the power. OFA Co-conspirators FTW.

#9. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

3.11-3.12 US of Smash

What Happens: Post All Might’s fight, Kacchan notices Deku’s tears and AM’s words, and puts the pieces together. He asks AM about Deku and when he’s shot down he remains quiet and brooding.

Why I like it: Bakugo changes forever in this section of the story. He realizes the truth about Deku. He blames himself for ending AM. He asks about Deku and shows awareness that something’s up with him. It’s all very self-aware and sweet.

(#8-2, examples of super-mega-ultra concern for each other)

#8. YOU’RE PROBABLY THE MOST FRUSTRATED OF ALL

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

3.04-3.10 Training Camp and Hideout Raid Arcs

What Happens: While fighting Muscular, Deku learns that Kacchan is in danger. He goes psycho Madman Deku mode for the whole Training Camp Arc, refusing to pause or rest until he’s saved Kacchan. He falls apart when Kacchan is taken, then immediately goes off to save him again even though he could die.

Why I like it. Deku likes saving people in general, but when someone threatens Kacchan, he goes crazy in a way he doesn’t for anyone else. He spends this whole arc hopped up on ā€œMust save Kacchanā€ juice and keeps pushing and going no matter what. He cares about the guy, no two ways about it.

#7. DON’T COME, DEKU

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

3.07 ā€œWhat a Twist!ā€

What happens: Bakugo is captured by villains. He’s being dragged through the portal and Deku comes barreling towards him with two broken arms, fully prepared to jump through the portal and die just to save him. Bakugo tells him not to and Deku listens.

Why I like it: Though this arc is filled with Deku being crazy protective of Baku, Baku gets his own fair share in right here. He tells Deku not to basically die protecting him, and Deku listens. Baku basically saves his life here, at the expense of his own.

#6. ā€œARE YOU ALL RIGHT? ARE YOU HURT?ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Backstory flashback repeated a lot.

What happens: Baby Kacchan slips and falls into a creek. Baby Deku goes down to help him up and asks if he’s ok. This offends Baby Kacchan’s pride.

Why I like it: Bakugo probably never had anyone treat him like a fallible human being until Deku came along. Everyone told him he was amazing and could never be hurt - but Deku doesn’t. That bruises his ego at first, but in reality it’s exactly what he needs: Someone who cares about him and will protect him, while still admiring him. (Plus this scene is cute).

#5. HOW CAN HE SMILE… (MANGA SPOILERS. MASSIVE ONES)

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Chapter 210, Joint Training Arc

What Happens: In an effort to piss Deku off and get him to talk, Monoma using Shinso’s power taunts him about Bakugo, saying that Bakugo shouldn’t be able to smile since he destroyed All Might. Deku’s new quirk goes PsychoBerserker out of control in response.

Why I like it: Deku’s power-ups are often connected with Baku in some way. Like many superpowers, OFA seems to be fueled by emotions. So targeting Bakugo brings out Deku’s greatest powers. In this case, though, it’s not a villain trying to hurt him. It’s someone insulting him. And that means Deku will defend Kacchan’s honor and feelings as well as his safety.

#4. I GOT MY QUIRK FROM SOMEONE ELSE

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

1.08 ā€œBakugo’s Start Lineā€

What Happens: Post Battle Trial Arc, Bakugo is in emotional freeful. Deku notices and chases after him, telling him for no goddamn good reason that he has an inherited power. Kacchan doesn’t believe him and instead pours his heart out to him, crying and promising to beat him.

Why I like it: Buncha reasons. 1) Deku ditches all his lovely friends, including Ochaco, to go comfort Kacchan. Even in the same way Ochaco just ditched Kaminari. 2) Deku tells Kacchan about OFA. He won’t tell anyone else, he just decided comforting Kacchan was more important than his entire reason for being here. 3) Kacchan cries in front of Deku and tells him how he feels insecure. He doesn’t do that in front of anyone else. 4) Warm lighting, deep eye contact, and the beginning of a beautiful rivalry.

#3. DEKU AND KACCHAN VS ALL MIGHT

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

2.24 ā€œKatsuki Bakugo Originā€

What happens: Deku and Kacchan work together to fight AM, after a nasty fight. Deku calls Kacchan out for not being himself. Kacchan sacrifices his body to make sure Deku can escape. Deku socks AM in the face to protect Kacchan. They win.

Why I like it: For a moment that started out so dark (sock to the face), this one gets sweet fast. On Deku’s side: He reprimands Kacchan for not acting like himself, compliments his can-do- attitude, and works together with him, overcoming his fear; he finds the strength to punch AM in the face to save Kacchan, with a callback to ep 2. Kacchan’s strength helps Deku win. On Kacchan’s side: He works with Deku to win, giving him his gauntlet, and sacrifices his safety so Deku can get out, even sounding kinda concerned for him when he gets in danger. They showcase what a great team they could/will make when they work together.

#2. MY LEGS MOVED BEFORE I COULD THINK

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Chapter 1/Episode 2: Izuku Midoriya Origin/What it Takes to be a Hero

What happens: Deku, in a fit of depression, sees the monster AM saved him from suffocating some kid. He’s freaking out till he sees that it’s Kacchan. He runs into deadly danger to save Kacchan, inspiring AM to save them both.

Why I like it: Because this moment changed Deku’s entire life and Kacchan’s as well. Deku’s legs ā€˜move’ before he can think. And it’s explicitly because it’s Kacchan in danger; he doesn’t move until he sees Kacchan’s terrified eyes. Kacchan also shows concern for Deku, telling him to get away (he didn’t say that to the pros trying to save him) so he doesn’t die. This is another scene that follows up on an awful fight between the two, and changes both lives forever. Saving Kacchan gets Deku OFA. Being saved by Deku opens Kacchan to his humility for the first time and stops him from hassling Deku. Plus, just a super-snippy moment to me.

BONUS: Anime only, OPS & EDS

OP 1: The Day

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Deku and Kacchan are surrounded by the romantic cherry blossom trees.

OP 3: Sora Ni Utaeba

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Deku and Kacchan brooding on each other.

ED 3: Datte Atashi No HiroĀ 

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Admitted by the writer to be about Deku’s feelings for Kacchan. Fantasy Deku with his hand over his heart watching Kacchan. BKDK teaming up in Fantasy AU to beat All Might as they look each other deeply in the eyes.

2.24 OG

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Anime-only Kabe-Don scene.

OP 4: Odd Future

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

Deku’s head bows when Kacchan is stolen.

ED 4: Update

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œCause I love, cause I love, cause I love being with you.ā€ While they watch the stars together.

OP 5: Make My Story

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

2 halves, one whole.

THE BEST:

#1. Deku vs Kacchan Part 2

Chapter 116-121/Episodes 3.22-3.23

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œIt’s about your quirk…If your way of looking at him was right, does that mean my admiration was wrong?ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œNo matter how many times I pushed you away, you always keep coming back!ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œWe never talked about our real feelingsā€¦ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œWhy was I the reason for All Might’s end?ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œThe only one who can receive Kacchan’s feelings is me.ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œTo me, you were an amazing, inspiring person, who was much closer to me than All Might. That’s why I kept chasing after youā€ (is it me or does this sound exactly like Hinata’s love confession to Naruto in the Invasion of Pein arc?)

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œThis is gross, so I can’t tell you, but…you’re my image of victory.ā€

My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)

ā€œIf the two of you recognize each other, and honestly raise each other up, you can become the best heroes, who both win and rescue.ā€

What Happens: Deku and Kacchan tell each other how they really feel. Through a fight because Shonen.

Why I like it: AM himself says it. They’re perfectly matched. They need each other to become the greatest heroes. Kacchan knows he can only talk to Deku about how he’s feeling; nobody else can receive his feelings. Deku loves and admires Kacchan as his friend, not his Great Hero like AM. It’s just perfect.

5 years ago
This Is My Archer Character For Dungeons And Dragons. Just Drew It To Test New Brushes. Her Name Is Ivy

This is my archer character for Dungeons and Dragons. Just drew it to test new brushes. Her name is Ivy btw.


Tags
5 years ago

It was a very special thing to bond with a dragon. Whilst bonding with a dragon provided benefits for both parties, it was still a very rare thing. Dragons were powerful, and by the time they were ready and willing to bond, considerably older than humans. They also had to be a lot more picky with their chosen bonded, than any human did.

Whilst a strong bond with their dragon would extend a humans life considerably, the stronger the bond, the longer their life, the dragons still have to face the possibility of their bonded growing old and dying. Since bonding with another is an incredibly emotionally vulnerable experience for both dragon and human, many dragons are wary about their choices as they get older, not willing to face such heartbreak again.Ā 

Most children go through life boasting about what kind of dragon they think they will bond with, some claiming their strength will ensure them the best dragon, others claiming their wit or looks. For you, it had never been so clear.Ā 

You just like any other child, would constantly daydream about bonding with a dragon and the knowledge and adventures you could share together, preferably away from this horrid town. However, other kids, and even adults, were always keen to remind you how impossible that dream would be.

ā€œTheir deaf! What use would a dragon have for them?ā€ You remember seeing one teacher say to another.

It was true, you hadn’t heard a single sound your entire life. Sometimes, it did upset you, but you had long since learned to love what you did have. Mainly, your sight.Ā The world was so beautiful, and without all the chatter to distract you, you were free to admire it as you wished. You could spend hours drawing the flowers and enjoying the swirling sea and shimmering stars. Perhaps it is that which had driven you to becoming a photographer and artist.

Still, when the day came that those your age were finally allowed to try to bond with a dragon, you found yourself joining them. You knew the chances were low, and could see the looks you were getting from those who knew of your disability. Despite this, you wanted to try, at least then you would know for sure.

You waited for the rush to finish, before slowly making your way onto the grounds. Dragons and humans alike stood preening and attempting to gain attention, eager to find the best possible bonded, in hopes of a strong bond. Not feeling the need to rush, you walked calmly amongst the magnificent creatures, slowly wandering deeper and deeper.

Suddenly, something made you pause. With an air of curiosity, you took a few steps back and peered at the impressive dragon before you. It was a massive thing, strong and tough, baring the scars of many a battle, and obviously quite an ancient creature. It was beautiful and you could feel the power rolling off of it in waves, which is why you were confused to see no one walking its way.

It wasn’t until you drew closer, that you realised why.Ā 

Over its eyes where deep ragged scars, long since healed but having well and truly done their harm. As you stepped even closer, you watched as the dragons eyes slid open, baring to you oceans of milky white, confirming your suspicions. They were blind, and had been for quite some time.

Thinking of never being able to see the world as you did, caused your heart to clench and unthinkingly you moved closer. The powerful beast was obviously still highly aware, as it easily followed your progress with its head, slowly lowering it to meet you as you drew close.

For a moment, the two of you simply remained still, taking in each others presence in your own unique ways. Something about this moment was special to you, and you found yourself unwilling to break it, knowing you would carry this moment with you till your final days. With an empathetic pang in your heart, you reached out, smiling as the massive beast pressed its giant nose against your tiny palm.Ā 

And with that, Everything Changed.Ā 

5 years ago
They Need A Motto… Right? Right??
They Need A Motto… Right? Right??
They Need A Motto… Right? Right??
They Need A Motto… Right? Right??
They Need A Motto… Right? Right??
They Need A Motto… Right? Right??
They Need A Motto… Right? Right??

They need a motto… right? Right??

✨patreon✨

ā˜•ko-fiā˜•

5 years ago
The Space Between The Tides [CTC]

The space between the tides [CTC]

5 years ago
So True… And Not Just For Cats…
So True… And Not Just For Cats…
So True… And Not Just For Cats…
So True… And Not Just For Cats…
So True… And Not Just For Cats…

So true… and not just for cats…

5 years ago
Resident Hard-ass Adopts Small Child, Steals My Heart 😭

resident hard-ass adopts small child, steals my heart 😭

–

in other news, i long for the winter months, i am melting.

5 years ago
© Authorized Reprint For Tumblr © Source || Artist: 大柠 (@llemonyyyy) 🚫 Do Not Repost/edit Source!
© Authorized Reprint For Tumblr © Source || Artist: 大柠 (@llemonyyyy) 🚫 Do Not Repost/edit Source!

© authorized reprint for tumblr © source || artist: 大柠 (@llemonyyyy) 🚫 do not repost/edit source! do not claim as yours! 🚫 commercial use is prohibited!

5 years ago
Ā  Choose Your StarterĀ 
Ā  Choose Your StarterĀ 
Ā  Choose Your StarterĀ 
Ā  Choose Your StarterĀ 
Ā  Choose Your StarterĀ 
Ā  Choose Your StarterĀ 
Ā  Choose Your StarterĀ 

Ā  Choose your starterĀ 

5 years ago

When someone toxic needs a friend

I just wanna add a little personal reflection to the discussion of Spinel’s treatment in Steven Universe: The Movie.

A few signposts so you know where I’m starting with this:

A criticism I’ve seen:Ā 

Steven was not particularly warm to Spinel. He did not hug her. He did not offer to be her friend. He spoke carelessly and triggered her toward becoming murderous again. He only cared about what she could do for him.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

A perspective I’ve seen:Ā 

LOTS of people with borderline personality disorder or strong feelings about abandonment personally relate to Spinel and are critical of Steven from this perspective.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

Rebecca Sugar’s commentary on Spinel:

The thing about Spinel is that she’s a really toxic person.Ā 

She’s so toxic that she’s literally trying to poison people.Ā 

In my interactions with friends who have had a history difficult enough to make it hard for them to trust other people and sometimes even actively want to hurt others, it’s just a very difficult situation to navigate. In the case of Spinel and all of these characters, that’s extremely exaggerated because cartoons have the ability to be extreme exaggerations. I wanted to explore what it’s like when you’re trying to help someone who really doesn’t want to help themselves, who wants to embody the negative feelings that they have about themselves. I think that’s something really real. I hadn’t seen that in a cartoon before.Ā 

Spinel, unlike many other characters, actually has the goal of hurting people, which is new territory for the show. She really wants to hurt Steven, and there’s a reason that she does—because she’s in so much pain. I just wanted to explore all the dimensions of that.

I also think Steven has his way of trying to handle and dissolve conflict. It’s not necessarily a good way for him to handle this situation. It really leaves him in a difficult state, and I think what I wanted to show in the way that they interact is that at a certain point, when you can’t help someone, you have to be able to protect yourself.Ā 

Ultimately, he can’t really convince her to change. It’s something she’ll have to want for herself. But what he can do is protect himself from her, making it impossible for her to hurt him.Ā 

It’s sort of up to you if you would like to love her. If you watch this movie and she, you know, frustrates you, that is totally fair. I want that to be a big part of who she is.

[From the AV Club interview]

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

So here are a few things I want to shed light on.

It’s very interesting that Rebecca intended Spinel to be read as ā€œa toxic personā€ because so many fans fell in love with her, said they’d be her friend, hated intensely on Pink Diamond because of what she did to abandon the poor Gem, and sympathized with her directly. But Rebecca was looking at Spinel from Steven’s perspective. And that’s also what I did.

I’ve been Steven. I have VERY much been Steven.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

When you meet someone who was done dirty, when you recognize the horror they’ve been through, when you see how much pain they are in and agree they have the right to be angry, it’s natural for empathetic people to offer themselves as comfort.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

But when you’re Steven, you also know it isn’t YOUR fault either. Before you have the ability and experience to set boundaries, you can get sucked into other people’s stormy waters and think you’re helping if you drown in solidarity with them. What’s really important to preserving yourself is learning that you can stand on the boat and toss a life preserver. That it doesn’t ACTUALLY HELP to jump in the water and sink with them.

Some folks are angry that Steven didn’t jump right into sacrifice himself on the altar of friendship in the service of an intense, literally murderous stranger who tried to poison him and his planet and lash out at his friends, robbing them of their rich pasts and their relationships because all of it hurt HER so much. It is SO easy to understand WHY SPINEL WAS ANGRY. But nothing she was doing to Steven, his friends, or the Earth was going to fix her problems, and furthermore, she FULLY UNDERSTOOD that it was NOT THE FAULT of any of the people she took her anger out on. It was irrational, yes, and that is part of her dysfunction. But also, in these situations, what helps explain it still does not excuse it.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

Some have railed at Steven saying he somehow forgave genocidal tyrants like the Diamonds but couldn’t be friends with a damaged Gem like Spinel who just wanted friendship. The big difference there is that Steven got involved with the Diamonds when both parties believed he was a different person. The Diamonds believed he was the lost Pink Diamond, and Steven has also spent much of his superhero life believing he WAS his mother and was therefore obligated to accept punishment for her crimes or to clean up the messes she made. Now that he knows he is not her and that she did some pretty horrible stuff, he also wants the right to stop feeling responsible for every person Pink hurt in the entire region of space.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

Steven gave Spinel basically compassionate treatment. He did not abuse her. He did not insult her. He occasionally coddled her when it seemed important (and though some said he was too businesslike while he pursued his mission, he was literally looking at the world ending within two days if he didn’t solve the problem). And most importantly … .

He let her leave the garden.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

Spinel stayed in the garden all those millennia because Pink Diamond told her they were playing a game. All that time, she had visions of Pink returning so she could see her smile, hear her laughter. We see a sequence where she tried to follow Pink out of the garden and Pink manipulated her into staying willingly. We watch those feet leaving and one pair of feet staying behind. We see Pink disappear.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend
When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend
When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

When Steven goes to leave the garden, Spinel follows in the same manner. Some have criticized him for letting go of her hands.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

But he invited her out of the garden. He didn’t say stay. He said come with me.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend
When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend
When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

As he sang about her deserving someone better, he was sincere. But he did not say the person to make her feel found should be him. He did not want to take on another person with thousands of years of baggage who would require a specific brand of attention and so much tenderness to avoid snapping. He did not allow her to be held by the hand and led out. He recognized that she needed encouragement to leave this place because of what was done to her, but he wanted her to take the steps.

Compassionate people are crushed all the time under the weight of needy people who make it hurt to love. People like Steven can acknowledge that Spinel deserves love and deserves to be happy without accepting that it’s heartless to stop short of personally doing it. Especially when you literally have to take physical, mental, and emotional damage as a general consequence of offering support and counseling. It is sometimes just beyond what you can do.

I made the mistake several times of getting very close to someone who treated me poorly while taking comfort in my presence. I cared that they were hurt and I didn’t know how to say ā€œYou deserve loveā€ without stepping in and loving them. In EVERY case I was involved with, the person went from initially grateful to ā€œwhy don’t you help me more?ā€ shockingly quickly, and two of them deliberately tried to create situations where I would be trapped with them and isolated from others.Ā 

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

I could get very personal here but I don’t think I need to. Those of us who relate all too well to Steven wanting to help others will have been in this situation. Your heart hurts for people who live with pain that has never touched you, but when they’ve made it clear with one of their first actions that they feel satisfied at the idea of ruining your life, trusting them could mean the end of you. Especially if they demand that you risk life and limb to fix and save them before you’d dare to call it love, and especially if they want to be fixed without feeling responsible for initiating any of it. Some people mistake suffering for working hard toward a goal. Both can hurt but only one is constructive. If I’m expected to spend extensive resources on someone, I need some partnership in the goal, and I can’t accomplish that with someone whose wish for companionship manifests as ā€œI want you to feel as bad as I do, and will take steps to hurt you so I have someone to cry with.ā€

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

Steven risked his actual life while he didn’t have powers so he could go talk to Spinel, and he wouldn’t fight her when she wanted to fight. He protected himself while she spent her anger. He STILL put himself in the line of fire far more than a less compassionate person would. He took time and tenderness to listen to her story and sympathize with her, tell her she deserved better, bear witness to what she’d become after being treated like a discarded plaything, and bring her hope with promises of a new future and a way to feel found.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

Sadly, Spinel flipped back to being murderous at the first sign that Steven might be about to prioritize someone other than her, reframing his reasonable needs as if he was planning to abandon her, isolate her, discard her. This was a trauma reaction, yes, and she isn’t entirely to blame for being upset because she was worried she was just being used and none of her actions were logically thought through.Ā 

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

But does someone ever ā€œdeserveā€ the friendship of a specific person who can’t feel warm toward them because of their OWN bad experiences?Ā 

No!Ā 

Steven has a big heart but he has his very own huge storehouse of trauma, and being physically attacked with his family and planet put in danger over the actions of his mother is at the top of the list. Instead of assuming that the person who has trauma the loudest is the most hurt, can’t we just acknowledge that Spinel’s and Steven’s respective traumas make them NOT the best match for friendship?

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

The ending of the movie, with Spinel going off with the Diamonds, might seem a little disturbing with all the codepencency floating around there, but if you want to talk about compassion, I think this is a good place for Spinel to start.Ā 

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend

She just wanted to make Pink Diamond laugh and enjoy her life. She longed to do that for so long and then it all ended when she found out she would NEVER GET TO DO IT. I think bonding with the other Diamonds and having a familiar, safe place to experience the kind of love she’s used to will be a good FOUNDATION for building herself into a person beyond that. For now, she needs comfort. I hope they treat her well.

When Someone Toxic Needs A Friend
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whixy - WHIXY
WHIXY

Lic. Graphic Designer and Illustrator. Venezuelan. 22.

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