As Much As I Love Jegulus.., I Feel Like James Realistically Wouldn’t Be Able To Be In That State Of

Dorcas “I can’t love you, anymore” Meadows.

Marlene “I can’t love you any more” McKinnon.

I show a post saying Barty went around telling everyone him and James were dating

so I wanted to make a little thingy

It probably started when someone was flirting with Barty and he wanted to get away and went: “shit I got to.. go see” *tries to think of something, mind goes to James* “my boyfriend!” (??). Then he keeps it going for shits and giggles, and then he panics when ppl ask him about it cause he doesn’t know why he thought of James out of everyone

———————————

A Ravenclaw: *flirting with Barty* so crouch.. I heard a little rumour that you fancy people with brains..

Barty: [who would rather be anywhere but there]

Barry: uhhh.. yeah I do, did you know Gryffindors are quite smart too? Like uhhh.. James Potter, for example, like his my boyfriend yk? and all-

Ravenclaw: ..what?

Ravenclaw: Oh. That’s cool I just thought- ykw nvm.

Barty: yeah you didn’t know that? We’re dating

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Hufflepuff: so Barty..

Hufflepuff: [flutters eyelashes, smirks and puts hand on Barry’s thigh]

Hufflepuff: what do you do even Quidditch is on? Do you go back to your dorm.. because I could tag along..

Barty: no, I don’t. I actually uh, I normally go hang out with my.. boyfriend, James Potter. Yk the one who your team lost to? The captain and prefect? The one-

Hufflepuff: .. I’ll go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Doesn’t even make sense cause James would either be playing or watching all the games, but Barty wasn’t thinking)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marlene: Barty!

Barty: what?

Marlene: what is it I’m hearing ‘bout you and Jamie?

Barty: ..

Barty: uhh, where’d you hear that?

Marlene: I was near some Hufflepuffs and heard a mention of it

Barty: why you snooping near Hufflepuffs?

Marlene: don’t change the subject. What’s the deal?

Barty: I needed an excuse to get away from ppl so yk.. I used him as an excuse

Marlene: why James tho? Wouldn’t Evan be more useful, cause you see him daily

Barty: .. James was just the first person I thought of

Marlene: ..

Barty: I guess

Marlene: ..alright then-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dorcas: Barty.. why?

Barty: ‘why’ what? I didn’t even do anything!

Dorcas: Oh, so running around saying your dating, Potter? Is nothing?

Barty: you heard that did ya?

Dorcas: of course I did, I hear everything. May as well call me “Rita fucking Skeeter”

Barty: okay I did! People were annoying me and I just said “My boyfriend needed me” and just threw Potter’s name in there so people would shut up and leave me alone!

Barty: god do people ever stop and leave me alone? Stop asking me about it god!

Dorcas: ..

Dorcas: okay.. my bad then

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus: things I want in my mouth..

Sirius: ..

James: ..

Remus: chocolate.

Pete: ..oh!

Itty bitty waists are a very prominent feature in the house of black

Lily potter is sitting in the corner, of her baby’s bedroom, by the door trying to calm and shush the both of them, while she hears James going down, because of Peter. She can hear Voldemort ordering Pete to go upstairs.

She knows she won’t live, she knows this is her last day. She suddenly thinks back to her sister, saying this, magic, would be the death of her. Oh god, she was right.

Peter opens the door and turns around to meet Pete’s eyes. (It’s Pete’s eyes, but it isn’t Pete.)

Then it clicks in Lily’s mind: he did it. He was the spy, the traitor, the one who killed Marlene. Suddenly she thinks;

She’s hiding in the corner of a room, sobbing trying to shush herself, she knows her family is dead, and she knows she won’t survive.

And now she knows how Marlene McKinnon felt, Now she knows how Joan of Arc felt.

Just wanted to pop in and say before a very smoky and lustful night between Remus and Sirius: Remus asked “Are you mine tomorrow or just tonight?”. And Sirius replied. “Yours forever”.

Someone get Taylor Swift’s music away from marauders, harry potter, hunger games, marvel, percy jackson, star wars and more away from editors rn!!

“If you feel lonely, I could be lonely with you”

But it’s James Potter and Remus Lupin.

Sirius: what did I do to be this short, like why do I deserve this??

Peter: maybe it’s revenge from something you did in a past life

Sirius: you think I did a crime in a past life?

Remus: you do crime in this life, you definitely did it in another

Sirius: ..

Sirius: I guess..

Peter: what crime do you think it would’ve been?

Lily: break and entry

Peter: murder

James: arson

Remus: aggravated assault

Marlene: he ain’t a pussy guys (!!)

Sirius: thank you Marlene! I cannot believe them-

Marlene: he definitely did them all

Sirius: …

Marlene: and probably more

Sirius: okay thanks let’s move on-

A round of applause for Mary MacDonald, the REAL Casanova of the Gryffindor Tower. Thank you.