Who Doesn't Enjoy A Good Chat Fic? This Is Mostly Some Blurbs For When I Hit A Roadblock On My WIPs (looking

Sharing Alastor Headcanons

@lonely-lost-insanity (you should go check out her blog) and I were sharing headcanons about our mutual favorite babygirl piece of shit and I decided to post mine here

we borrowed @head---ache 's character ask game for inspiration on this one, so bare with me here. (also if you like Sonic, you should check them out too)

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon: Asexual and completely sex repulsed, mostly because both the fluids involved, and other people's genitals completely repulse him. He also deals with feelings of severe shame any time he gets aroused, but that's more of a gender identity crisis than anything

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon: Though he's primarily masculine presenting, Alastor is actually genderfluid, though he only learned about it recently. Angel is the one who caught on and talked to him about it, and currently the only one who knows since Alastor isn't confident enough about it to tell anyone else

😇 A headcanon about their religion/lack thereof: His maternal grandmother was a slave who was originally from Haiti, so he grew up following the practices of Hatian Vodou. He was actually training to become a Oungan (similar to a priest for those unfamiliar) before his mother died and he got shipped off for the Great War

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood: He used to have a little hand-sewn frog plush that he cared for for years until his dad burned it in a fit of rage. Alastor never forgave him for that because it was a gift from his grandmother

👻 A headcanon about what scares them: He has a phobia of dogs from his death, but he's also scared of heights and confined spaces, and thunder gives him flashbacks to mortar fire

🎶 A headcanon about music: He has listened to and enjoys a lot of modern music, but only plays it when he thinks he's alone - Vaggie was Shook to find him rocking out to Insane Clown Posse while making breakfast one morning

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there: Alastor is actually weirdly good with guns after his time in the military - they're one of the things he makes sure he's always up to date on just in case of an emergency. He can take one apart and put it back together while telling you the caliber it shoots and the brand it is. He also owns a surprising number of them, and usually keeps at least one on his person at all times

💤 A headcanon about their sleep: He has the worst insomnia, but likes to pretend that he just doesn't need sleep to seem mysterious. When it gets really bad, he'll just drink until he either blacks out or temporarily dies of alcohol poisoning. He says it's the same thing as sleeping. It's not

🦾 A disability headcanon: He had a serious hip injury when he was a kid that never healed right, and while he was in combat, the knee on the same side was severely injured. It doesn't bother him too often now, but the cane he always has isn't for show - he keeps it on him to store part of his power, and to have on-hand in case his injuries flare up (which, rather inconveniently, starts happening more after his fight with Adam - when he no longer has a cane)

💝 A headcanon about their love language: His love language is primarily touch which both makes his touch aversion easier and harder to navigate. If he likes you, he can usually get comfortable enough to express his love language, but on his bad days, he just has to go without his primary form of comfort because it would make everything worse

🫂 A friendship headcanon: Alastor and Vaggie can actually get along quite well when they put their minds to it - they're both down to earth and naturally pessimistic (though Alastor hides it better), both love spicy food, and lived surprisingly similar lives (not super similar, but moreso than they'd thought). Alastor becomes okay with Vaggie's touch faster than he did with Husk when they'd first become friends

💔 An angsty headcanon: Despite her best efforts, Alastor's mother didn't actually love him. Alastor was the result of a rape, and after he was born, she repeatedly debated smothering him - all the way until she died. Alastor knew deep down, but she still cared about him and showed him affection on her good days which is more than his father ever did, so Alastor always figured that he could just love enough for the both of them

🪢 A headcanon about their family: Alastor;s grandmother was actually the one to begin teaching Alastor about Vodou since she was a Mambo (female priest for those unfamiliar), but she died when he was 6 so he started learning from his mom and an older woman a few blocks away

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies: He actually really enjoys drawing and has countless sketchbooks with everything from ideas for furbies (straight up furby ocs lol) to landscapes to random doodles, to portraits. If anyone ever picked up one of his sketchbooks and looked through it, he would immediately die of pure embarrassment. The only things he wants people seeing are the things he shows them

👗 A headcanon about their clothes: He much prefers dresses and skirts (if wearing shorts or boxers underneath) to pants because he likes the way they move, look, and feel, but since he isn't confident in his gender identity yet, he refuses to wear them

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence: He's actually really good at hand-to-hand combat because of his time in the military, and he only improved once he went to Hell and fought all the overlords at the time. If he and Vaggie were to spar, it would be pretty close, but he could most likely beat her

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes: Sometimes, Alastor wishes that he didn't have such a hard time with being touched - he can still remember the times his mother would go to touch him lovingly and he'd shy away from her, and he knows he can never go back and change it

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at: Overall, his greatest skill is his ability to read people. It stems from his traumatic ass life when reading people's mood had the potential to save him from getting a beating. Now it's saved his skin on multiple occasions - from interactions with his owner to spats with Vox or other beings more powerful than himself, he knows how to talk people into revealing their plans without them ever realizing they'd done so. It's also a skill that's gotten him in plenty of trouble, but for the most part it's saved his ass

🍫 A headcanon about food: He does like some sweets, but he can only have them in moderation - except for any coffee-based dessert. He would KILL for a whole tray of tiramisu

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about: His relationship with his father. He always claims that he's always hated his father, but deep down there's a part of him that wishes he'd gotten his approval/love, and missed the father he'd have once in a blue moon when the man was in a pleasant enough mood to deal with his son

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon: While he personally has no wish to have a romantic relationship, he's a sucker for reading about the sweet ones who will always go back for each other

💄 An appearance headcanon: He has fawn spots all over his back and shoulders, and it's symbolic of the fact that a large part of him died the day his mother did - when he was just a child

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger: Alastor doesn't like lashing out at people when he's angry because it makes him feel like his father. The problem is that he has a pretty short fuse naturally, so he usually just buries his claws into his palm until he bleeds to try and calm down. If he can feel an explosion coming on, he'll go to his room, lock the door and put up a sound muffling ward before destroying his furniture in a fit of rage. when he calms down, he fixes everything with magic and apologizes to the picture of his mother he keeps on his mantle before going back to what he was doing before

😺 An animal related headcanon: Surprisingly enough, dogs actually really like him which is unfortunate because of his hatred (read: phobia) of them. They'll go up to him begging for affection and he immediately starts having trauma flashbacks to his death

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done: If you asked him, he would say that it was the fact he helped his father bury his mother's body after he murdered her, but Alastor had no choice in the matter since he was so little and the only other option would have been to die with her

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them: He faced different types of torture for the entire 7 years he was gone. Sexual, physical, mental, emotional, you name it, Alastor probably experienced it. Then he was just shoved back into the world and told to get to work, so he still hasn't dealt with anything

😶 A random headcanon: He's a surprisingly great runner. Like yk those videos of track relay races where one person is easily catching up to everyone else after their team was falling behind? Yeah, that's basically Alastor. And he only got better at it after going to Hell and getting deer legs - which are made for running. He's got really good form too, to the point where you'd think he did track or something but nope - entirely self taught

You know that one post about how his mom doesn't love him?

If the hotel ever finds out what Lucifer said to Ali-corn's mama,what do you think their reactions would be?Like if they found out (by angsty means) that Luci had gone and shit-talk thinking that Al wasn't listening (which is still bad!) ,what would they think about it and him? Because right now I'm thinking resting bitch faces targeted straight at the king ,while Alastor is two seconds from one of the most terrific mental breakdowns since Vox.

I'm asking because you have made me think about that interaction non-stop and now I'm just waiting for your response because I'm genuinely in-fucking-vested.

(I cower in fear as you twiddle your fingers)

Alright, so this is the post that anon is referring to for those of you who have absolutely no idea what's happening (ofc @that-hazbin for the inspiration/original post). My response for this is DETAILED, so we're taking it below the cut one character at a time

Charlie - Charlie loves Alastor despite how shifty he can be, and cannot STAND for it when people hurt those she loves, so hearing what he dad said about him felt like a punch in the gut. She knew he and Alastor didn't get along, but this is entirely too far. She always tries her best to keep from getting angry at anyone, but she positively loses her shit once she hears about what he said. It's even worse if she finds out that Alastor heard everything, and his response was to smile and make everyone dinner with a recipe his mother loved. She cries to Vaggie about how unfair it all is that Alastor was unloved for things that happened before he was even born, and that her dad would be so cruel as to say he wasn't worthy of love anyways. Even when he apologizes, Charlie can't help but add the whole incident to the mental tally she has of every time Lucifer has hurt her, even though she knows that it isn't about her. Alastor should be the one who is upset, but he just...isn't. He doesn't show that he's bothered at all, and that's honestly worse than if he'd gone into a rage, or screamed and cried about it because that just means that he's used to it

Vaggie - Vaggie usually doesn't give a shit about Alastor besides the fact that Charlie cares about him, he's part of the hotel, and he has the potential to be a threat. However, hearing what Lucifer and Alastor's supposedly "incredible" mother were saying was...jarring. It was honestly shocking how quickly she became defensive over Alastor considering how little they usually got along. She didn't say anything to his face (bc that's potentially her future father in law and the KING OF HELL), but she immediately became much more short with him, heading off any of his attempts to speak with her and remaining stiffly formal despite his insistence otherwise. Of course, it's not too hard to maintain icy formality with someone who can't even bother to remember her name despite the fact they live together and that she's dating his daughter. And if she manages to interrupt Alastor and Lucifer's arguments before Lucifer can start truly cutting with his words, that's no one's business but her own

Nifty - Thanks to her lobotomy in life, it's sometimes hard for Nifty to keep up with what's going on in the world around her - especially when it's something emotionally based rather than physical. But that doesn't mean she's dumb. And she'd known Alastor pretty much the entire time she's been in Hell. 70ish years is definitely long enough to pick up on Alastor's tells. Unlike almost everyone else, when Nifty sees him at dinner after he overheard Lucifer and his mother, she immediately knows that he's deeply upset and hurt by something. She'd already realized that Alastor's mother didn't love him, and that Alastor was steadfastly ignoring that fact and loving her twice as much in return. All it took was some alone time with Alastor once he'd had a few drinks, and she knew exactly what he'd overheard. No one in the hotel besides Alastor and Husk had ever seen Nifty truly angry before, but they quickly realized just how unsettling it could be when she go to that point. Being angry made her surprisingly lucid, and she didn't act as everyone had become used to. Instead of delivering frightening threats, she ignored Lucifer and plotted, and glared out of the corner of her eye, her expression sparking with a protective sort of rage. Alastor was hers, and anyone who hurt what was hers was a pest waiting to be swatted like a bothersome fly. At the same time, she made sure to shower Alastor in affection in the only ways she knew how: bug crowns, drawings, little things she found that made her think of him. If she curled up against his chest or comfortingly pet his ears while he tried to go to sleep, well it wasn't as if Alastor was going to tell anyone - and he hadn't pushed her away either

Husk - Husk and Alastor had a...complicated relationship. Alastor saw his thrall as a great source of entertainment as long as he didn't broach certain topics, and Husk resented having his soul owned, but didn't hate Alastor himself. He'd seen a lot of fucked up shit while he was alive, so he doesn't blame Alastor's mother for not loving him - but he doesn't blame Alastor for it either. Lucifer on the other hand had no right to comment on the issue the way he had. Not only did it make Alastor's mother feel worse, but Alastor managed to overhear, and reacted accordingly - by trying to make himself as little of a burden to his mother as possible. He'd talked at dinner, but he hadn't truly spoken, only saying anything to make his mother feel less awkward. Husk already hadn't liked Lucifer - Charlie's rampant daddy issues spoke for him well enough, but Lucifer hadn't really done anything to endear himself to the hotel residents since his arrival. He still proudly displayed his general disgust of sinners as a whole, and one couldn't help but be offended at the treatment. However, he couldn't exactly confront the king on that whole mess, and Alastor would probably eat him for daring to fight his battles for him, so Husk instead settled for being a listening set of ears and having Alastor's favorite bottle of rye at the ready on the days Husk could tell he was really struggling

Angel - Angel's always protected his friends from people more powerful than himself, so you better believe he immediately confronted Lucifer on the shit he said about Alastor the minute he heard about it. He and Alastor may not have been super close, but they bonded over their shared hatred of the Vees, and had been slowly getting closer as friends. Plus, Alastor (like Vaggie) was someone who was always guaranteed to never want Angel for his body, which was a nice change of pace. Alastor wasn't exactly happy with Angel stepping in on his behalf, but Angel was quick to shut any protests down by saying that he shouldn't have to defend himself from people (especially people who had been around since before time started and should really be more mature by now) picking at his family's personal (and incredibly painful) issues. Just like Husk, Angel wasn't exactly endeared to the king anyways with the way he openly disregarded them all in their first meeting without even talking to them

Overall, everyone got a lot more defensive of Alastor then anyone (especially Alastor who assumed that Lucifer's claim was accurate) would have expected. And it will take some serious grovelling for them to even consider letting Lucifer off the hook for saying something so fucked up about an already fucked up situation. But then again, he is the sin of pride, so that makes it a lot less likely that he'll even get around to admitting he's wrong in the first place

More Ranger's Apprentice Headcanons Because I Have No Self-Control (featuring bullet points!!)

I'm back on my bullshit, so buckle up buckaroos, it's gonna be a bumpy ride

ALSO, before I forget, I received an anon ask about if it was okay to write about my headcanons and such, and that is absolutely 100% okay!! I would love to see other people's interpretations of my thoughts, that's why I put them out there, so please feel free to interpret them as write about them, just give me credit, and let me know so I can see it!

Halt snorts when he laughs, but only if you really get him going. When he does, he'll turn bright red and try to cover his face, which works all well and good if the reason he's laughing so hard is because someone caught him super off-guard with a joke. However, nine times out of ten, he's only laughing that hard because someone decided to test his ticklishness (usually Crowley, but the others do it too once they find out), which means he can't cover his face without almost immediately moving his hands to grab the wrists of whoever's attacking him out of reflex

Speaking of Halt being ticklish, he would never admit it even under threat of death, but he actually doesn't mind being tickled. It shows him that people care enough about him to get close and try to make him laugh. He also finds it kind of nice to just be able to let loose and laugh when he usually can't out of fear of either vulnerability or tarnishing his reputation. Needless to say, if he lets you get away with tickling him, it's the ultimate sign of trust (kind of like a cat laying so its stomach is exposed and trusting you not to attack it)

When Halt is focusing on something, he has a habit of sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth (which I believe is something Horace actually noticed in KoC)

Halt has a bad habit of biting the sides of his fingers when he's nervous. If Pauline or Crowley happen to notice, they'll gently bat Halt's hands away from his mouth

If there is ever a mission that requires disguised infiltration in a high-class setting, Pauline and Crowley will almost always be the ones to handle it - and not just because of how well they coordinate off each other and work together. The main reason is because they both noticed how tense and jumpy being in that sort of environment made Halt after their first such mission. He never brought it up to them, and until KoC, they didn't understand the reason why (though they both had their theories)

Due to his royal upbringing, Halt is actually a very good singer and can play the piano as well (I don't know if the piano existed at this point in time. It's fiction. leT ME HAVE THIS)

Halt said that he can't face a plate of shellfish without throwing up, but he was underselling just how much even seeing a serving of shellfish deeply disturbs him. He'll usually start having a panic attack within the first few minutes, his mind telling him that the food is laced in poison, and that he is 16 years old and back in Clonmel.

Halt and Will both have severe PTSD, but only Halt is ashamed by it. At first, Will was ashamed of the way he was affected by his trauma, but Halt and his other friends shut that down really quick. Halt however, never had anyone who knew about what he went through, so he never had anyone to tell him that his struggling was okay. He was afraid that Will would end up the same way as he did, which is why he fought so vehemently against Will thinking he was doing a "bad job" of handling his trauma

Halt is very much a "do as I say, not as I do" kind of teacher. I mean look at him. This man's never even heard of self-preservation, but god forbid anyone he cares about pulls some self-sacrificing bullshit (that he pulls maybe 30 seconds later)

Tickling the Ivories

Alastor has always loved playing the piano, and Rosie loves to listen. She also loves fucking with Alastor because it's written in the job description of being a best friend. He really just makes it all too easy when he keeps messing up the song he's trying to play

This is a platonic sfw tickle fic (though you can picture it as romantic if you would like to). If that's not something you're interested, then just keep right on scrolling

this one's a bit shorter than my usual stuff, but I'm tired, and it's ok to do things differently sometimes. This is for a friend on discord, idk which one right now. They said: "Alastor playing piano. right?? yes okay. Someone (rosie, vox, lucifer, anyone) is tickling him while he plays. if he messes up, grabs for them, tries to stop playing, tickles get worse and/or he has to start the song over. it eventually just turns into a full on wrecking." If you see this, this is for you.

Messing with Nifty's cleaning is the easiest way to get on her hit list, and Alastor learns that he isn't exempt from this rule.

OR

Alastor fucks around and finds out.

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic, if that isn't for you, feel free to scroll right on by

This is the first fic I've ever written and posted, and I literally woke up at 1 AM to write it, only to immediately fall back asleep once I was done. I hope to write more in the future, especially when I get back from my 5ish month hiatus around the end of November, so let me know how I did!

either autistic characters need to stop being so relatable, or I need to see a doctor

Alrighty the recent poll of who draws on who in the RA world brought me to a whole new idea

Autistic! Halt + drawing on skin/doodling

- Halt's hands are always littered with texsts and things to remember, as he isn't actually that good at remember *certain* things. (Some things stick, some don't, to do's and people are especially non-sticky)

- He gets distracted fairly easily in long briefings, but doodling on his skin helps, it keeps him from retreating into his own mind too much. Crowley knows this by now, and always has two pens with him for Briefings.

- Halt has trouble with showing love and affection in a, what he deems to be, 'socially normal and acceptable way' (kissing and touching, public hugs, saying I love you...) so he has a habit of doodling on the arms of the people he loves. Small imprints of his presence there, as if to say 'I want you to think of me, as I do of you' Crowley often has a bunch of his freckles connected to form constellations, or birds species (one of Crowleys absolute favourite things, it's why he loves to whistle)

- When Halt goes bad, getting to draw can sometimes help. Either as a form of mindfulness, or as a plain communication tool when he goes mute. He'll draw or write out what he needs at this time of distress. (And as Ranger's they dont tend to take a lot of paper, because it'll get wet anyways, so skin it is)

- Sometimes he thinks the drawing will help, but then he'll just get stuck in it, drawing the most horrid, deformed faces on his, or Crowley's hand, way too fast, and actually quite hurtfull, because of the tip of the pen. But even though it hurts, he can't stop. Crowley knows he hates this, and will be careful to wash his hands after a breakdown like this, so Halt doesn't have to see what he drew.

- When Halt gets really bored and doesn't know what to draw, he'll just ink his entired hand, but because ink doesn't go off easily, it can stay on there for a few days when it's as layered like this, terrefying possible opponents.

This is like the 3rd or 4th time I've seen this crossover, and it is my FAVORITE fucking thing I stg

It's so in character for them I hate it /pos

I genuinely hope people keep doing this crossover, I'd do it myself if I could manage human-like anatomy, but for now I must rely on the good will of Actual Artists

Inspired by this video and I can't stop laughing for minutes straight. Which rarely happens despite my horrible sense of humor!!

AAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY SHIT I LOVE IT

Honestly don't even worry about the line art being messy, it gives it kind of an ethereal quality that's dope as shit. And I love the sketch of Alastor having his panic attacks, you captured the emotion really well!!!

your mind is beautiful and I love you for it, thank you so much for this

RAHHHH IM BACK WITH ART

some drawings from the very talented writer @void-occupation's fic "hidden hurts" GO CHECK IT OUT THE WRITING IS SUPER GREAT!

here are the promised drawings!

alastors tree:

(side note: I just realized how this reminds me of that one tree in my neighbor Totoro, also so sorry void the lineart is a bit messy lmao)

and another scene from the fic as a doodle!

once again! go check out voids work! (hope you enjoy! ⊂((・▽・))⊃)

Crowley: Are you bleeding?

Halt: ...No?

Crowley, practically vibrating at this point: That is not a question you should answer with another question