I Was Inspired By @greykolla-art To Write Even More Angst! Yay, Don't You Just Love Pain? This Is Inspired

Halt: Will?

Will: Yeah Halt?

Halt: When it's only 7:30 in the morning and I've already heard a question that I know will be one of the top three dumbest questions of the day, it depresses me

Will: Sorry Halt

hello its me- haunting your dashboard and askbox once more haha-

i saw this somewhere else but I don't remember where; what would hell's version of winter be like? I remembered your headcanon about alastor getting cold easily and I would just like to share my vision.

so hell has an extreme climate- we know that- so winter is basically Antarctica. not alastor-friendly AT ALL, it only ever happens once in a blue moon in hell so he's never really had to deal with this before. the whump possibilities are endless lmao. all-around suffering for the deer man.

do with this what you will! no pressure ofc, this is more like a concept you could make your own story or au with so i'm not sure if it counts as an ask- but do whatever you wanna, and if you did ever do a fic, (if that be a series or a one-shot) I would love to make a comic or cover as a Collab! :D

PLEASE never apologize for haunting my dash/asks, this blog is very ghost-friendly!!!!! All ghosts are allowed to haunt as they please!!

As for your beautiful vision: I love it. I will help it grow and will nourish it until it becomes a beautiful whump monster right here on my little laptop. Not sure WHEN I will make it happen, but I WILL make it happen. For now though, I will simply add to this headcanon (expect whatever I add to probably end up in the fic lol)

Winter in Hell is quite the phenomena - only occurring around once every century or so. It doesn't stick to a set schedule though (Lucifer still shudders when he remembers that time that they had five winters within the span of a single decade.) They are also completely by surprise: the most notice Hell has ever had for a winter is that the temperature dropped five degrees in one day. The next morning, sinners couldn't even open their doors the snow was piled so high. And of course, it wouldn't be Hell if the winters were the normal length, no. Winters in Hell can be anything from six months to the record of three motherfucking years. The last winter took place in the late 1910s - about a decade or so before Alastor died.

As mentioned in my previous headcanon, Alastor is a Louisiana boy. And Louisiana did not receive a SINGLE FUCKING INCH of snowfall the entire time Alastor was alive (trust me I CHECKED, that shit is WILD). That means a few things. 1.) Alastor has never seen snow in his now 120ish years of existing. 2.) Alastor has never felt anything below 50°F his entire existence. 3.) Alastor is painfully thin, which means his body has no way to preserve heat. And 4.) Alastor does not appear to have any clothing besides his three-piece suit that he wears all the time in Hell's usual blazing temperatures with seemingly no issue. Of course, this means that his suit would do nothing for him in Actual Cold Weather since he's so used to it.

With all of this knowledge, the only conclusion I can draw is that once winter actually hits, Alastor is royally FUCKED. Especially considering that a winter in Hell is compiled of all of the worst things about winter. The cold air is dry, and the wind is sharp and biting - in the way that leaves your face stinging and your hands and lips splitting. Somehow simultaneously, the snow can change between huge flakes and straight-up sleet, which if you've ever been in sleet, you know it sucks major ass.

If someone doesn't give Alastor a heated blanket He Will Die. Alastor makes the mistake of going outside exactly twice (because let's face it, I love him but this man is too prideful to accept that the weather will kill him after only one attempt - he's Just A Bit Dumb). Both times he has to be rescued by someone at the hotel after he almost fucking freezes to death like An Idiot, and he manages to also get hypothermia both times because he refuses to do anything in halves. After he also almost freezes to death in his room (which is how they find out there's a draft), he's not even allowed in there, and they move him to a guest room right next to Charlie and Vaggie's room that Lucifer added a fireplace to. He alternates between the kitchen (the oven is very warm and Food), his room (the fireplace is very warm and the bed is cozy), and the couch in the lobby (the fireplace is very warm and the couch is cozy and also Alastor is antisocially social).

He is cold. He is miserable. He is perpetually shaking like an old chihuahua. Some of the residents thought it was funny at first, but that quickly stopped after the first Almost Death. They have to watch him because Alastor becomes very despondent, and if he stops shivering, he needs to be warmed up again. Alastor is more exhausted during the winter then he has ever been in his entire existence due to all the energy his body is burning trying to stay warm. He's sleeping more than ever, but he looks absolutely terrible - eyebags so dark they look like a goth guy's eyeshadow, hair a mess, and an overall very strained look about him. He also eats a lot less, so he begins losing weight which is the exact opposite of helpful in this situation. It gets to the point where Husk is willingly braving the elements to get to the butcher shop Alastor likes just to get sinner meat so he will hopefully get something in him.

This winter is the first time any of them have ever seen him willingly snuggle up to someone, and it's fucking LUCIFER because this little bastard puts out the most heat because for some reason that it part of being a seraphim. Lucifer for his part just kinda lets it slide because Alastor would probably die if he didn't and that would make Charlie sad. Ok, and he kinda reminds Lucifer of when Charlie was little and would snuggle up to him, but that's no one's business but his own. If he's a little softer with Alastor afterwards, and less easily provoked by the sinner, that is also no one's business but his own.

hooo, I really let this one get away from me lol. Hope you enjoy this, and please feel free to haunt me as much as you want!! And when I eventually get this pushed out, it would be absolutely fantastic if you decided to make a comic/cover. I absolutely love your art

I don't know if someone's done this already, but imagine the Justice League is doing some mission or another and Batman gets captured. Maybe it was on purpose, maybe it wasn't but whatever the case, the JL is now Concerned. Their main tactician is gone, and some of the villains are Batman's Rogues, who they admittedly don't know much about

They bust into where ever Batman's being held and only one person is there that they see. They take them out and wander around until they find Batman in a room with Harley Quinn. They go in guns blazing only to stop in pure confusion

Batman is tied rather impressively to a chair while Harley sits opposite of him with a clipboard in hand and glasses perched on her nose. Bruce looks absolutely miserable while Harley turns around with a wide smile as if she hadn't been holding Batman hostage. To be fair to her though, Bruce honestly had figured out how to escape his restraints about 5 minutes after he woke up, but he knows that the Joker doesn't ever listen to Harley and she'd get upset when her "impromptu therapy" sessions would get interrupted when they were in college together. He'd always had kind of a soft spot for Harley so he'd stayed. Not that anyone else needed to know that of course

everyone's interaction goes something like this:

Harley: Oh hi!

Superman who is Terminally Polite: H-hey. How are you?

Harley: Oh, I'm good. Batman and I were talking about his obvious abandonment issues and severe anxiety!

Bruce, mortified and hiding it surprisingly well: No we weren't

Flash: Is this...normal???

Harley: Yeah, just about - any time I get to watch him I usually give him some therapy. He obviously needs it and it's not like I'm doing much with my degree otherwise!

Bruce: First off, rude. Second off, why is everyone just standing around? We've got work to do!

And the entire League jumps guiltily as they realize they were kind of just staring at their captured teammate when there is indeed work to be done about the rest of the group they're facing. Then, Harley drops the bomb that she wasn't even involved???? She just heard that they'd captured Batman and broke in to Therapy at him while he couldn't get away

More Ranger's Apprentice Headcanons Because I Have No Self-Control (featuring bullet points!!)

I'm back on my bullshit, so buckle up buckaroos, it's gonna be a bumpy ride

ALSO, before I forget, I received an anon ask about if it was okay to write about my headcanons and such, and that is absolutely 100% okay!! I would love to see other people's interpretations of my thoughts, that's why I put them out there, so please feel free to interpret them as write about them, just give me credit, and let me know so I can see it!

Halt snorts when he laughs, but only if you really get him going. When he does, he'll turn bright red and try to cover his face, which works all well and good if the reason he's laughing so hard is because someone caught him super off-guard with a joke. However, nine times out of ten, he's only laughing that hard because someone decided to test his ticklishness (usually Crowley, but the others do it too once they find out), which means he can't cover his face without almost immediately moving his hands to grab the wrists of whoever's attacking him out of reflex

Speaking of Halt being ticklish, he would never admit it even under threat of death, but he actually doesn't mind being tickled. It shows him that people care enough about him to get close and try to make him laugh. He also finds it kind of nice to just be able to let loose and laugh when he usually can't out of fear of either vulnerability or tarnishing his reputation. Needless to say, if he lets you get away with tickling him, it's the ultimate sign of trust (kind of like a cat laying so its stomach is exposed and trusting you not to attack it)

When Halt is focusing on something, he has a habit of sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth (which I believe is something Horace actually noticed in KoC)

Halt has a bad habit of biting the sides of his fingers when he's nervous. If Pauline or Crowley happen to notice, they'll gently bat Halt's hands away from his mouth

If there is ever a mission that requires disguised infiltration in a high-class setting, Pauline and Crowley will almost always be the ones to handle it - and not just because of how well they coordinate off each other and work together. The main reason is because they both noticed how tense and jumpy being in that sort of environment made Halt after their first such mission. He never brought it up to them, and until KoC, they didn't understand the reason why (though they both had their theories)

Due to his royal upbringing, Halt is actually a very good singer and can play the piano as well (I don't know if the piano existed at this point in time. It's fiction. leT ME HAVE THIS)

Halt said that he can't face a plate of shellfish without throwing up, but he was underselling just how much even seeing a serving of shellfish deeply disturbs him. He'll usually start having a panic attack within the first few minutes, his mind telling him that the food is laced in poison, and that he is 16 years old and back in Clonmel.

Halt and Will both have severe PTSD, but only Halt is ashamed by it. At first, Will was ashamed of the way he was affected by his trauma, but Halt and his other friends shut that down really quick. Halt however, never had anyone who knew about what he went through, so he never had anyone to tell him that his struggling was okay. He was afraid that Will would end up the same way as he did, which is why he fought so vehemently against Will thinking he was doing a "bad job" of handling his trauma

Halt is very much a "do as I say, not as I do" kind of teacher. I mean look at him. This man's never even heard of self-preservation, but god forbid anyone he cares about pulls some self-sacrificing bullshit (that he pulls maybe 30 seconds later)

Sharing Alastor Headcanons

@lonely-lost-insanity (you should go check out her blog) and I were sharing headcanons about our mutual favorite babygirl piece of shit and I decided to post mine here

we borrowed @head---ache 's character ask game for inspiration on this one, so bare with me here. (also if you like Sonic, you should check them out too)

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon: Asexual and completely sex repulsed, mostly because both the fluids involved, and other people's genitals completely repulse him. He also deals with feelings of severe shame any time he gets aroused, but that's more of a gender identity crisis than anything

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon: Though he's primarily masculine presenting, Alastor is actually genderfluid, though he only learned about it recently. Angel is the one who caught on and talked to him about it, and currently the only one who knows since Alastor isn't confident enough about it to tell anyone else

😇 A headcanon about their religion/lack thereof: His maternal grandmother was a slave who was originally from Haiti, so he grew up following the practices of Hatian Vodou. He was actually training to become a Oungan (similar to a priest for those unfamiliar) before his mother died and he got shipped off for the Great War

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood: He used to have a little hand-sewn frog plush that he cared for for years until his dad burned it in a fit of rage. Alastor never forgave him for that because it was a gift from his grandmother

👻 A headcanon about what scares them: He has a phobia of dogs from his death, but he's also scared of heights and confined spaces, and thunder gives him flashbacks to mortar fire

🎶 A headcanon about music: He has listened to and enjoys a lot of modern music, but only plays it when he thinks he's alone - Vaggie was Shook to find him rocking out to Insane Clown Posse while making breakfast one morning

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there: Alastor is actually weirdly good with guns after his time in the military - they're one of the things he makes sure he's always up to date on just in case of an emergency. He can take one apart and put it back together while telling you the caliber it shoots and the brand it is. He also owns a surprising number of them, and usually keeps at least one on his person at all times

💤 A headcanon about their sleep: He has the worst insomnia, but likes to pretend that he just doesn't need sleep to seem mysterious. When it gets really bad, he'll just drink until he either blacks out or temporarily dies of alcohol poisoning. He says it's the same thing as sleeping. It's not

🦾 A disability headcanon: He had a serious hip injury when he was a kid that never healed right, and while he was in combat, the knee on the same side was severely injured. It doesn't bother him too often now, but the cane he always has isn't for show - he keeps it on him to store part of his power, and to have on-hand in case his injuries flare up (which, rather inconveniently, starts happening more after his fight with Adam - when he no longer has a cane)

💝 A headcanon about their love language: His love language is primarily touch which both makes his touch aversion easier and harder to navigate. If he likes you, he can usually get comfortable enough to express his love language, but on his bad days, he just has to go without his primary form of comfort because it would make everything worse

🫂 A friendship headcanon: Alastor and Vaggie can actually get along quite well when they put their minds to it - they're both down to earth and naturally pessimistic (though Alastor hides it better), both love spicy food, and lived surprisingly similar lives (not super similar, but moreso than they'd thought). Alastor becomes okay with Vaggie's touch faster than he did with Husk when they'd first become friends

💔 An angsty headcanon: Despite her best efforts, Alastor's mother didn't actually love him. Alastor was the result of a rape, and after he was born, she repeatedly debated smothering him - all the way until she died. Alastor knew deep down, but she still cared about him and showed him affection on her good days which is more than his father ever did, so Alastor always figured that he could just love enough for the both of them

🪢 A headcanon about their family: Alastor;s grandmother was actually the one to begin teaching Alastor about Vodou since she was a Mambo (female priest for those unfamiliar), but she died when he was 6 so he started learning from his mom and an older woman a few blocks away

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies: He actually really enjoys drawing and has countless sketchbooks with everything from ideas for furbies (straight up furby ocs lol) to landscapes to random doodles, to portraits. If anyone ever picked up one of his sketchbooks and looked through it, he would immediately die of pure embarrassment. The only things he wants people seeing are the things he shows them

👗 A headcanon about their clothes: He much prefers dresses and skirts (if wearing shorts or boxers underneath) to pants because he likes the way they move, look, and feel, but since he isn't confident in his gender identity yet, he refuses to wear them

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence: He's actually really good at hand-to-hand combat because of his time in the military, and he only improved once he went to Hell and fought all the overlords at the time. If he and Vaggie were to spar, it would be pretty close, but he could most likely beat her

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes: Sometimes, Alastor wishes that he didn't have such a hard time with being touched - he can still remember the times his mother would go to touch him lovingly and he'd shy away from her, and he knows he can never go back and change it

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at: Overall, his greatest skill is his ability to read people. It stems from his traumatic ass life when reading people's mood had the potential to save him from getting a beating. Now it's saved his skin on multiple occasions - from interactions with his owner to spats with Vox or other beings more powerful than himself, he knows how to talk people into revealing their plans without them ever realizing they'd done so. It's also a skill that's gotten him in plenty of trouble, but for the most part it's saved his ass

🍫 A headcanon about food: He does like some sweets, but he can only have them in moderation - except for any coffee-based dessert. He would KILL for a whole tray of tiramisu

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about: His relationship with his father. He always claims that he's always hated his father, but deep down there's a part of him that wishes he'd gotten his approval/love, and missed the father he'd have once in a blue moon when the man was in a pleasant enough mood to deal with his son

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon: While he personally has no wish to have a romantic relationship, he's a sucker for reading about the sweet ones who will always go back for each other

💄 An appearance headcanon: He has fawn spots all over his back and shoulders, and it's symbolic of the fact that a large part of him died the day his mother did - when he was just a child

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger: Alastor doesn't like lashing out at people when he's angry because it makes him feel like his father. The problem is that he has a pretty short fuse naturally, so he usually just buries his claws into his palm until he bleeds to try and calm down. If he can feel an explosion coming on, he'll go to his room, lock the door and put up a sound muffling ward before destroying his furniture in a fit of rage. when he calms down, he fixes everything with magic and apologizes to the picture of his mother he keeps on his mantle before going back to what he was doing before

😺 An animal related headcanon: Surprisingly enough, dogs actually really like him which is unfortunate because of his hatred (read: phobia) of them. They'll go up to him begging for affection and he immediately starts having trauma flashbacks to his death

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done: If you asked him, he would say that it was the fact he helped his father bury his mother's body after he murdered her, but Alastor had no choice in the matter since he was so little and the only other option would have been to die with her

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them: He faced different types of torture for the entire 7 years he was gone. Sexual, physical, mental, emotional, you name it, Alastor probably experienced it. Then he was just shoved back into the world and told to get to work, so he still hasn't dealt with anything

😶 A random headcanon: He's a surprisingly great runner. Like yk those videos of track relay races where one person is easily catching up to everyone else after their team was falling behind? Yeah, that's basically Alastor. And he only got better at it after going to Hell and getting deer legs - which are made for running. He's got really good form too, to the point where you'd think he did track or something but nope - entirely self taught

Have quite a few things in the works, but I figured I should post something to show that I'm not actually dead lol. I just finished the chapter layout for a horror/hurt+comfort multichapter fic for hazbin hotel, and I wanted to put a few sneak peaks for anyone interested. It'll take a while to be posted but I think it'll be worth the wait, especially if you enjoy Alastor whump as much as I do lol

again, this is in layout formatting, so it'll change style once the fic's actually written lol

also, while this isn't a part of the series, the next two installments of the therapy pig series are already in production, so dw, those will happen eventually

Tickling the Ivories

Alastor has always loved playing the piano, and Rosie loves to listen. She also loves fucking with Alastor because it's written in the job description of being a best friend. He really just makes it all too easy when he keeps messing up the song he's trying to play

This is a platonic sfw tickle fic (though you can picture it as romantic if you would like to). If that's not something you're interested, then just keep right on scrolling

this one's a bit shorter than my usual stuff, but I'm tired, and it's ok to do things differently sometimes. This is for a friend on discord, idk which one right now. They said: "Alastor playing piano. right?? yes okay. Someone (rosie, vox, lucifer, anyone) is tickling him while he plays. if he messes up, grabs for them, tries to stop playing, tickles get worse and/or he has to start the song over. it eventually just turns into a full on wrecking." If you see this, this is for you.

Thanks for the tag!!

These are just my most recent favorites since I can't choose between all of them

Go wild lol

I'll tag @lonely-lost-insanity , @oberveroftheinfinite , @that-hazbin , and @giggle-guru

Not me having some kinda type... Who shall I tag? I think I wanna tagggggg... @mybugsmybugsmybugs @mexicangela @lunar-years @biscuitboxpink but no pressure!! I just thought it would be fun!

Halt: You ever just look back and cry-

Will: Halt, it's okay to miss your childhood-

Halt: -tears of relief that you don't have to deal with that anymore?

Will: ...Halt, are you okay?

Halt: I'm fine, why?

I love therapy animals, and I show this by giving one to all of my blorbos - because they desperately need them.