Dark Souls’ Kings And Lords

Dark Souls’ Kings And Lords

Gwyn: I will raise this son as a daughter and in general take a whole diarrhea on him regardless of his merits and accomplishments because he was born aligned to a different aspect than me. I will also disown my other son and erase any records of his identity and history. I embarked on genocide of dragons for possibly very shady reasons, and was fully on board with a dangerous project to recreate that which cannot be replicated, resulting in a catastrophic failure that mutated a wise and peaceful civilization into murderous beast. You are supposed to feel bad about having to kill me, as the sad piano that plays while we duke it out suggests.

King of Oolacile: Dude, what if we totally dabbled in the forbidden arts with our golden sorceries (read: utility spells) as our only back-up and tortured this ancient conglomeration of twisted existences that we revived just to satisfy our sick curiosity? That’d be RAD, I hope nothing about this bites us in the ass down the lane, am I right.

The Four Kings: Man, it was really a challenge, but we finally got this whole New Londo jimjam going strong and steady! *phone rings* GUYS, THIS SNAKE THAT ANTAGONIZES EVERYTHING WE STAND FOR PROMISES TO TEACH US THE 120% ILLEGAL ART OF LIFEDRAIN, LET’S ROLL, I MEAN, WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

King Vendrick: *playing the harmonica off-note in his shitty crypt* I married this really hot chick but she turned out to be, like, a literal aspect of darkness hell-bent on the obliteration of civilization, so, hey, whatevs, man, you gotta compromise in marriage, right? *takes a swig of a black label Johnnie Walker* she then was like “honey, you gotta murderize that entire civilization of peaceful giants”, so we did! It was GREAT, we lost over half of our population, I redefined the concept of “war crime”, it was mad cool, man, well, except for the part where I realized what I had done, engaged full pussy mode, and locked myself in a crypt, where I took to wandering naked and afraid while my bodyguard protects me, despite the fact that I am insanely strong and immortal and wise. WHATCHA GONNA DO *LIFTS ARMS IN MOCK SURRENDER* *LAUGH TRACK PLAYS*

Duke Tseldora: SPIDERS

The Sunken King: Whew! That took a LOT of time, but we finally did it! We built a whole city around this slumbering dragon, our object of worship! This is, in no way, a dangerous idea at all. You know what is also not dangerous? Why, those famed Dragonslayers coming over by yonder, the Drakeblood Knights, led by Sir Yorgh, famed Dragonslayer! Let’s see what they want!

Old Iron King: LOOK AT ALL THIS METAL, HOMIE. LOOK AT MY COOL ASS SAMURAI MAN TEACHING MY KNIGHTS TO BE SAMURAI, HOMIE. LOOK AT THIS BITCHIN’ FUCKIN’ FORMER DRANGLEIC KNIGHT, RAIME, WHO CAME TO SERVE ME, HOMIE. YEAH BABY, WE GOT IT ALL IN THE IRON KINGDOM, WE GOT THESE CROSS-CULTURAL SAMURAI KNIGHTS PIMPING UP THE PLACE WITH PLATE ARMOR AND IAI, MAN, AND WE– H-hold on, Alonne, baby? Where you going, man? Baby, no, I can change, I swear, please come back, baby, NO, BABY, ALONNE *SHANKS ALONNE* aw fiddlesticks well I guess my kingdom goes to fuck now ‘cause I will throw the biggest, meanest tantrum in the history of big diaper pissbabies LET’S GO

Ivory King: Hello! I love you! Yes, you! Whoever is reading this, I love you! I really do! And while I love you a lot, there’s someone I love even more, and that’s my beautiful wife, Alsanna! God, I love my wife, she’s so beautiful and kind and smart, I just want her to be happy forever. I know, she’s a literal aspect of darkness who came with evil intentions and zealous desire to raze my lands, but, I know that anyone, anyone, is capable of redemption, and my love has confirmed that. I love my wife, and I love my kingdom Eleum Loyce, my capable knights, my beautiful tigers, my kingdom of snow and peace! Wanna know a secret? I built my kingdom right on top of the Old Chaos to contain it, to keep it in check, so it wouldn’t rampage across the world. Ah, I’m really sad to have to cut this short, but my soul, well, it wavers. After so many years of fighting it, my very fabric is yielding to the overwhelming chaos. As an ultimate act of sacrifice, I will give myself to the Flame, contain the whole essence of the Old Chaos within my body, and keep it wrested to the ground, so it can never harm anyone evermore. I am glad to have met you, but I must go now. Please live a wonderful life! Shout out to my beautiful wife!

Yhorm the Giant: *hands you the one thing that can kill him* I AM HONESTLY TRYING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER, PLEASE TRUST ME. AND IF I GO COO-COO, USE THAT TO KILL ME, AND ALSO, I AM PUTTING AWAY MY GREATSHIELD SO IT IS EASIER TO HIT ME IN CASE I GO BAD, BUT PLEASE, I AM JUST TRYING TO BE GOOD, BRUSH YOUR SEATBELT AND FASTEN YOUR TEETH.

Oceiros, the Consumed King: *spams your Facebook feed with photos of his invisible baby*

Nameless King: Funny story, but I am actually not a king. Anyways, check out these delayed attacks and these FPS drops.

Prince Lothric: What If Stay Home Instead

More Posts from Variusandmany and Others

7 years ago
Anyone Else Hope This Is What Happens Next?
Anyone Else Hope This Is What Happens Next?

Anyone else hope this is what happens next?

6 years ago

Are they twins divided at birth ?

Sure look like that!

It’s Not Very Different?! Nobody Noticed.
It’s Not Very Different?! Nobody Noticed.
It’s Not Very Different?! Nobody Noticed.

It’s not very different?! Nobody noticed.

Except

image

Yeah….


Tags
4 years ago
What’s Encrypting Your Internet Surfing? An Algorithm Created By A Supercomputer? Well, If The Site

What’s encrypting your internet surfing? An algorithm created by a supercomputer? Well, if the site you’re visiting is encrypted by the cyber security firm Cloudflare, your activity may be protected by a wall of lava lamps.

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Cloudflare covers websites for Uber, OKCupid, & FitBit, for instance. The wall of  lamps in the San Francisco headquarters generates a random code. Over 100  lamps, in a variety of colors, and their patterns deter hackers from accessing data.  

image

As the lava lamps bubble and swirl, a video camera on the ceiling monitors their unpredictable changes and connects the footage to a computer, which converts the randomness into a virtually unhackable code.

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Codes created by machines have relatively predictable patterns, so it’s possible for hackers to guess their algorithms, posing a security risk. Lava lamps, add to the equation the sheer randomness of the physical world, making it nearly impossible for hackers to break through.

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You might think that this would be kept secret, but it’s not. Simply go in and ask to see the lava lamp display. By allowing people to affect the video footage, human movement, static, and changes in lighting from the windows work together to make the random code even harder to predict.

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So, by standing in front of the display, you add an additional variable to the code, making it even harder to hack. Isn’t that interesting? 

via atlasobscura.com

6 years ago

I wonder if people in an Urban Fantasy setting have to worry about mimics posing as packages at their doors

6 years ago

BNHA Imagine

What if your quirk was 

The power to interact with the world as if in a video game.

Quirk: Video Game.

You can alter the laws of physics to mimic any and all video games. This power can give you a wide variety of abilities.

Ex:

Absolute Strength from games such as Hulk.

Gain Speed or Driving Skills from games like Racing or Sonic games.

Can use a cheat code from a real game to trick your foes.

Cyber Avatar for their own use.

Enhanced Accuracy from every shooting game.

Glitching by using exploits from games.

Head-Up Display

Health Point Meter

Independent Growing Booster

Magic by using every single power from fantasy games.

Martial Arts from fighting games.

Nigh Omnipotence via hacking and mods.

Omnilingualism via subtitles.

Point System

Reality Playing

Resurrection by gaining extra lives or give an extra life someone else.

Self-Power Bestowal - one may gain new powers and abilities like in an RPG and even create their own.

Slow-Motion

Team Combination by working together to defeat the bosses and challenges.

Team Wipe by defeating an entire Raid Group in one attack.

Temporal Reload via saving and loading.

Time Stopping - Can pause the surrounding area.

Variable Manipulation - Level up any thing to their will.

Video Game Constructs

Video Game Materialization

Video Game Mimicry - virtually any physiology from any game.

Manipulate weapons in various weapon games.

Limitations:

May be limited to existing games or games you know about. However, this power doesn’t necessarily rely on specific games. It could mimic general styles, genres and teams common in video games.

Depending on how it is used, it may bestow others in the area with video game based powers as well.

May also gain weaknesses depending on the video game that is mimicked.

Any Cheat Codes on things that manipulate what people do like car infinite mass and pedestrian war and evil cars may or may not work.

If the user relies on remembering the ability in the video game, Memory Manipulation is highly effective.

Example of this quirk —> (Here~!), (Here~!), and (Here~!)

Also have a companion that’s like Beemo, from Adventure time. And you take with you everywhere, even to school.

~~~

BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine
BNHA Imagine

I don’t own anything but the imagine part. :P


Tags
6 years ago

Tags list (in progress)

Demon’s Souls: The Maiden in Black  Dragon God Penetrator Garl Vinland Maiden Astraea Fool’s Idol Tower Knight Yurt the Silent Chief Yuria the Witch Mephistopheles Vanguard The Old One False King Allant Dark Souls: Knight Artorias Great Grey Wolf Sif The Fair Lady Chaos Witch Quelaag Quelaana of Izalith Dragon Slayer Ornstein Executioner Smough Lautrec of Carim  Crossbreed Priscilla Lord’s Blade Ciaran  Hawkeye Gough Dark Sun Gwyndolin  Seath the Scaleless Havel the Rock Oswald of Carim Gwyn Lord of Cinder Solaire of Astora Siegmayer of Catarina  Sieglinde of Catarina Anastacia of Astora  Gravelord Nito Xanthous King Jeremiah Darkwraiths Ingward Kirk Knight of Thorns Dusk of Oolacile Gwynevere Princess of Sunlight Darkmoon Knightess Black Knight Moonlight Butterfly Black Iron Tarkus Capra Demon Stone Dragon Black Dragon Kalameet Asylum Demon The Bridge Wyvern Belfry Gargoyle Laurentius of The Great Swamp Iron Golem  Manus Father of the Abyss The Four Kings Paladin Leeroy Witch Beatrice Hawkeye Gough  Titanite Demon Taurus Demon Centipede Demon Sanctuary Guardian Witch of Izalith Pinwheel Marvelous Chester Undead male Merchant Crestfallen Warrior Kingseeker Frampt Darkstalker Kaathe Big Hat Logan Oscar of Astora

Dark Souls II: Pursuer Throne Watcher  Throne Defender Creighton the Wanderer Emerald Herald  Rosabeth of Melfia  Fume Knight Heide Knight Desert Sorceress Mild Mannered Pate Milfanito The Last Giant Darkdiver Grandahl Darklurker Grave Warden Agdayne Velstadt the Royal Aegis Amana Shrine Maiden Mytha, the Baneful Queen Cromwell the Pardoner Skeleton Lords Lucatiel of Mirrah The Rotten Lonesome Gavlan Ruin Sentinels Royal Sorcerer Navlaan The Lost Sinner Jester Thomas Manscorpion Tark Vengarl of Forossa Old Dragonslayer Dragonrider Sir Alonne Nashandra Elana Squalid Queen Nadlia Bride of Ash Alsanna Silent Oracle Giant Giant Lord Old Iron King Executioner’s Chariot Looking Glass Knight Smelter Demon King Vendrick  Demon of Song Benhart of Jugo The Sunken King The Ivory King Ornifex Manikin Ancient Dragon Stone Trader Chloanne Mad Warrior Dark Souls III: The Fire Keeper Yhorm the Giant Siegward of Catarina Abyss Watchers Company Captain Yorshka Lorian Elder Prince Lothric Younger Prince Anri of Astora Horace Yuria of Londor High Lord Wolnir Old Wolf of Farron Aldrich Devourer of Gods Boreal Outrider Knight Karla Dragonslayer Armour Soul of Cinder Eygon of Carim Irina of Carim Crystal Sage Sirris of the Sunless Realms Nameless King Rosaria Mother of Rebirth King of Storms Pontiff Sulyvahn Yoel of Londor Ludleth of Courland Ringfinger Leonhard Hawkwood the Deserter Dancer of the Boreal Valley Vordt of the Boreal Valley Sword Master Saber Painting Woman Slave Knight Gael Filianore Darkeater Midir Bloodborne: Huntsman Plain Doll Father Gascoigne Eileen the Crow Yharnam Pthumerian Queen Djura Annalise Queen of the Vilebloods Vicar Amelia Moon Presence Martyr Logarius Lady Maria Rom the Vacuous Spider Ludwig the Holy Blade Alfred Bloody Crow of Cainhurst Yurie the Last Scholar Henryk Micolash Host of the Nightmare Cleric Beast Amygdala Simon the Harrowed Brador Valtr The Old Hunter Other: 

Chosen Undead Ashen One The Hunter Crystal Lizard Music Comic Skeleton Wheel Mimic Patches

3 years ago

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

7 years ago

Could I get either a scenario or headcannons about Qrow finding out that he has a faunus daughter, around Ruby's age (or Yang's if it's more comfortable), from a past relationship that ended badly, so the mom never told him and also ended up dying when the girl was young. Then, when he meets her, she is one of those "rebel" kids at one of the academies. You know, tattoos, piercings, drinking, getting in fights cause she takes no shit from anyone, ect. Lol, I can almost see it!

-Well, first of all he would like to know how he never even heard about it for so long.

-Then he’ll want to catch up over a nice drink or two.

-He honestly doesn’t try to stop her from getting the tattoo’s, piercings, or from getting into any future fights. 

-He was the same way as a kid, and look how he turned out.

-Qrow will absolutely want to make up for lost time, though he’ll only come back into there lives unless they really want him there.

-If she say’s no, then he respects there wishes. Though he’ll always be there to protect his daughter, he’ll just let her live her own life. That means making her own mistakes and learning how to cope with them.

-Though he’ll lend a shoulder to cry on if it’s that bad.

-If she says yes, then he’ll have to pay a little visit to Tai for advice on how to handle a teenage daughter.

Could I Get Either A Scenario Or Headcannons About Qrow Finding Out That He Has A Faunus Daughter, Around
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variusandmany - I repost so i don't forget
I repost so i don't forget

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