This Sucks So Bad I Need To (remembers Suicide Jokes Only Make My Mental Health Worse) Join An Expedition

This has been a PSA.

Considering that nautolans can sense pheromones do you think that Kit Fisto walked past Anakin and Padme and decided that Obi-Wan can address that mess.

Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight

Building a Mystery: A Gwynriel Drabble

"Fuck!"

The shout echoed down the hallway, bouncing off the ceiling, and had Nesta and Cassian halting on the way to their chambers in the House of Wind. They eyed each other, both her blue and his hazel filled with suspicion.

"Az, you're doing it wrong."

"I know what I'm doing, Berdara."

"Oh, really? You're putting the D in the C when you're supposed to put the D in the A!"

Cassian choked on a laugh. Nesta quickly covered his mouth, putting a finger over her own as she pressed an ear against the Shadowsinger's door.

"For the last time, the D doesn't fit in the A! It's too tight!" Azriel said, and Nesta could feel Cassian's chest moving with his muffled laughter against her back as he loomed over her to join her in eavesdropping. 

Gwyn groaned. "Cauldron, can't you just squeeze it in?"

A single snort escaped before Nesta could catch it by covering her mouth.

"Gwyn, I'm telling you, it's too tight! If I push too much, it'll snap!"

"It's literally designed to fit! Bang it in! Make it work!"

There was a distinctive creaking followed by a masculine grunt. Then another.

Thud! Thud! Both rhythmic and telling.

Nesta peered up at her mate, who was staring down at her, amusement lighting his gaze.

We should leave them be, she mouthed up at him. He nodded and when they were peeling themselves away from the door, they heard Gwyn yell, "Harder!"

Thud! Thud!

"Just one more good whack, Azriel! Almost there…"

Thud! Azriel grunted and growled...

"Perfect," Gwyn panted out her praise. "Now, was that so hard? And you didn't break it."

Cassian could not hold in his snorting guffaw at that. Nesta smacked him on the shoulder. The noise, both voice and exertion alike, went totally silent.

Love-tapping an apologetic Cassian in the arm again, Nesta cleared her throat and knocked on the door.

"What?" Azriel asked—no, demanded—through the thick wood, his voice full of an annoyance that he usually only had with his brothers.

"You both all right in there? We heard shouts and—" 

With a high-pitched squeal, Gwyn interrupted Nesta. "We're fine! You can go now!"

"You're sure? We heard a lot of racket coming from—"

The door cracked open enough to reveal a shirtless Azriel glistening with sweat, with his arm propped up at the jamb to allow Gwyn to peek through. An equally sweaty and flushed Gwyn. Wearing a rumpled soft cotton shirt and leggings, her copper ponytail was half undone, as if she'd spent half a day flying high over Velaris.

Nesta smiled softly. She wasn't sure what was going on with them—if they'd gotten their shit together and stopped pretending they weren't perfect for each other—but she was happy for them. 

Gwyn brought out a side of Azriel rarely seen. A teasing playfulness that had only been reserved for a select few. He laughed now—a lot. And it seemed her friend Gwyneth Berdara had been making it a personal mission, a daily quota, to pull as many smiles and laughs as she could. 

Azriel pushed Gwyn in the best possible way. Their equally competitive asses always found something to bet on. And not once had Gwyn backed down, accepting everything he threw at her. Once when Nesta had asked Gwyn about Azriel and their relationship, she merely said, We're just friends, Nesta. Really good friends. He makes me feel safe.

Nesta had taken that moment to offer her observation. I see the way you two look at each other, Gwyn. It's more than friends. You two are just too scared to admit it.

In her typical unruffled Gwyn fashion, she'd brushed Nesta off. 

But now, staring at her two friends, sweat-dappled and red with exertion, she wondered if they had finally taken a new step.

"There. Proof of life," Azriel grumbled. "Satisfied?"

Nesta's smile curled up on one side. "For now." Turning her attention to the redhead tucked beneath the Shadowsinger's powerful arm, she asked, "We were concerned with all the yelling. What were you up to?"

"We were building bookshelves," her friend returned a little too quickly.

"Building bookshelves? Is that what you are calling it these days?"

"Good for you, Az," Cassian chimed in. "Nes and I built a whole damn library last night, too."

Azriel's forehead made a thud as it met the door. 

Nesta turned and punched Cassian in the shoulder at the same time as Gwyn. 

"Fuck that hurts! But nice form," the giant Illyrian baby said as he rubbed his arm.

Gwyn's sweet face tilted up to Azriel's and dipped in the barest nod. With a sigh, he moved aside and swung an arm toward the inside of his personal space.

Chaos.

Absolute chaos.

A mess.

Papers and boxes and tools were strewn about. Piles and piles of books. And behind it? 

Two tall bookcases; one empty and one now full. And Nesta couldn't help but notice the titles were mostly…romance and adventures.

Some of Gwyn's absolute favorites.

"Gwyn likes to read in here," Azriel explained, clutching his neck at the nape.

"I just like your chair."

His lips twitched. "So, I wanted her to be able to come in here to read whenever she wants without having to lug up her favorite books every time." He featured with disdain to the bookshelves. "I had to buy those from a store and put them together. I'd rather have made them from scratch, but with the missions—"

Gwyn's hand took his, lacing them together. She squeezed. "It's perfect, Shadowsinger."

He offered a small smile and Nesta swore Azriel was blushing as he said, "You deserve more than labeled pieces of cheap wood, Berdara. I promise I'll build you something nicer."

And Nesta watched as Gwyn bounded over the debris to show off her present, Azriel right there to make sure she didn't impale herself on any tools. The shadows swathing around them, serene and lingering, as if they too could see the change before them.

Cassian took Nesta's hand as they relished in their dear friends' happiness and excitement. 

Yes, those two were indeed building something.

House MD is my favourite and most relatable bisexual representation show, because it shows that bi people don't want to cheat. We just want someone to love until we die, do drugs and maybe commit some crimes.

I’m screaming this is so freaking cute

Gwynriel Headcanons: Cozy & Festive ❄️🌲

A/N: I finished Dash&Lily on Netflix and now I'm watching Love Actually. Grab a cup of cocoa and read some heartwarming Gwynriel headcanons

Gwyn gets really into knitting. She's naturally crafty & good at everything.

Nesta, Cass, Emerie and Az wearing gorgeous knit sweaters

Azriel asking if she knows how to make mittens too because his hands get cold 🥺

Gwyn making a matching set of mittens & a beanie for Azriel and Azriel ONLY

Az proudly wearing his Berdara bespoke and looking like a cozy sexy hunk

the rest of IC getting super jealous (as they should)

Midnight flying trips to see the festive faelights decorating Velaris.

Gwyn's beaming smile & wide-eyed awe. Azriel's soft eyes and secret smiles staring at Gwyn's face. It's prettier than the lights.

Late-night hot cocoa and deep intimate conversations. Extra marshmallows and whipped cream for Gwyn, of course.

Azriel getting a hot cocoa mustache

Gwyn: "Shadowsinger, have you ever thought of growing out your beard a little?"

Gwyn, mumbles: "You'd look hot with scruff."

Az:  "What was that?"

Gwyn: "Nothing." 😳

Azriel tells Gwyn all about the IC’s Solstice traditions and the snowball fight

Azriel trying to be suave and cool casually bragging about all his wins to impress Berdara

Gwyn totally amused that he’s being cocky knowing damn well he lost last year

Gwyn teasing Az about his crushing defeat, being a stubborn sore loser, and this silly cocky attitude.

Azriel: 😑

Gwyn: "So is your goal this year just to win or total annihilation?"

Total annihilation, obviously.

Gwyn and Azriel spend the week before the snowball fight perfecting his plan to completely wreck Rhys & Cass. They devise snow density ratios, sphere-forming techniques, psychological analysis of Cass & Rhys' strengths and weaknesses

Azriel: "I surveyed the ground. The best vantage point is beside the pine tree. The snow fort should be approximately this meters tall..."

Gwyn: "Cassian has a height advantage for throwing. Rhys is shorter which is better for dodging. Cass is more easily provoked. If they start attacking each other you can use the overhand technique...

He wins. Thank you, Gwyneth Berdara.

The cold and stormy weather makes training a little harder than usual. One night, they're dripping in rain. The floor is slick and they end up falling and wrestling on the ground. Cue intense sexual tension and a dramatic stare into each other's eyes.

The nights when it's unbearably cold they stay inside just talking or reading with each other

Azriel has a humongous and cozy blanket. Gwyn loves it and looks positively adorable all snuggled up.

For some reason, they can always fall asleep when they're near each other. For some reason, they always wake up leaning against each other on the sofa. One particularly cold morning, they wake up spooning. But they're just friends, of course.

Gwyn's cold breath forming small clouds and Az's shadowing swirling around it. Curious, innit?

Azriel looking devilishly handsome in a black cashmere turtleneck

Snowflakes in Azriel's hair

Gwyn's freckled nose and cheeks tinging rosy red

Gwyn absentmindedly humming Solstice choir music and old festive songs

Gwyn, Azriel, Nesta and Cassian decorating the House of Wind with garlands, lights, holly, and evergreens.

Nesta and Cassian kissing under the mistletoe. Then, making out under the mistletoe.

Azriel catches clumsy Gwyn from falling while putting up lights

Cassian breaking a box of ornaments and Nesta shouting at him

Gwyn and Cassian wrapping themselves in tinsel

Nesta: "Where did they get bells?!?!"

Azriel: *exasperated sigh*

Gwyn and Cass: *jingle jingle* Okay let's try running faster! *jinglejinglejinglejingle*

The gang traveling to Illyria and surprising Emerie. They decorate her shop and share some mulled wine and peppermint tea.

The girls build Frosty the Snowbat. It's quite impressive and large. It’s modeled after Az’s wingspan…for reasons

The gang makes a point to give back and donate food, clothes, and toys (because a certain High Lord can't be bothered to care about his citizens 🙄) #sorrynotsorry

Gwyn organizes a children's choir in the village. Nesta gives dance lessons. Chef Cass makes a feast. Emerie gives out gifts. It's an Illyrian celebration spectacular!

Azriel helps all of them. He's quite popular with the kids. He's the baritone in Gwyn's choir.

The show is a rousing success and their singing earns a standing ovation

Gwyn knows a recipe to make what are essentially fireworks (the evil lightsinger knows how to make evil colorful lights in the sky OooO she's so dangerous)

Azriel doesn't want Gwyn to get burned. He flies them up into the sky and uses his shadows to help set them off. It's bright and magical. Everyone is in awe, especially, Gwyn.

She thanks him for his help and they share a sweet moment under a snowy tree hidden from everyone.

Azriel the Illyrian Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Gwyn jumping into Azriel arms excitedly to hug him every time she greets him (she's really cheery around the holidays and he’s always super warm)

Both of them savoring in each other's warmth and lingering in their embraces

Frosty but sunny morning trips into town for holiday shopping for all their friends.

Gwyn is a beautiful writer and makes her own cards. She writes the most loving and heartfelt notes inside. She brings Nesta and Emerie to tears. Cassian is choked up and practically squishes her.

Azriel is stunned and so moved that he can't form words and his chest feels funny. He waits until they are alone. He doesn't know what to say so he just hugs her for a very long time. He kisses her on the forehead and tells her how grateful he is for their friendship (oh these sweet idiots)

Despite the freezing cold, this holiday season feels warm. They feel the joy, they feel cared for, they feel loved. The long cold nights feel less lonely with each other.

Who else feels warm and fuzzy? already working on a part 2 ☺️

You know what? I want Valkyrie shenanigans. Give me Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn debating if - no, not it - how long it would take to suffocate a man with their legs. Straight up, manslaughter by the power of thighs, and spite alone. 

Nesta is out of the running because Cassian distracts her too much. Emerie obviously would rather do something else with someone else. Gwyn is too competitive to let this go and she is a woman of science - she needs to know. 

Cassian snorts and tells her “good luck” - not quite picking up the chaotic determination she has. Enter Azriel, who agrees to be her sparing partner, and when she asks if she can try a new move, for curiosity sake, he allows it. He does not know what he is signing up for and his shadow didn’t snitch on their favorite girl. 

She’s pulling some Natasha Romanoff shit. 

Em and Nes find them in a very suggestive position but Gwyn is gleeful to have Azriel’s head locked between her legs, and she’s so close to literally sitting on is face, and she’s squealing. “ONE MINUTE AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS! THIRTY-SEVEN! THIRTY-EIGHT…” 

He’s NOT tapping out - he’s not going to admit defeat - but he’s turning blue and he’s slapping her knee as he’s biting back whatever he wants to say. 

Cassian is standing behind them, shell shocked. Of ways to go, Azriel, is this really it, you kinky son-of-a-bitch?! Gwyn is so delighted to have this man on the brink of death - and Azriel is too stubborn to admit it. 

He’s literally flapping around like a fish out of water. He’s struggling and she’s not letting up. At this point, Emerie and Nes are blockading Cassian who’s pretty sure Azriel is too dumb to admit he’s out breath. The Valkyries want to see this through. 

Gwyn’s weakness? Tickling - and she’s screaming as he found her weak spot. She tumbling off him, crying in laughter, and he gasping for air, blue in the face. He’s glaring at the audience and basically same energy as this. 

Audible Symphonia Edition! Where Cassian takes the symphonia (maybe a new one just for this) and reads Nesta’s romances in his courtier voice. 

And then Cassian starts putting his own commentary into it like “go to bed, Sweetheart” or “I can do this much better, you know. In fact I would (insert graphic details here)” and when it hits to love confession scenes, he’ll pause and say “I love you, Nesta Archeron. My heart and soul belongs to you.”  

And Nesta listens to it all the time. She finds she doesn’t mind that he keeps interrupting her reading, since he’s always doing that anyways. She listens to it over and over again especially while he’s away because it makes her laugh, but also because the sound of his voice brings her comfort. 

In an interview in 2015 SJM said that Lucien liked to be irritating and I started to imagine him with the brothers, he must irritate them a lot, I can only imagine in that scene that he gave Feyre something to eat and then laughed at her.

Lucien was absolutely the most annoying child EVER to his himbo brothers. Picture it:

Six* brawny brothers who like to fight, fuck, and cause problems on purpose

*More like five and a half, since Eris is smart and has layers and whatnot

ANYWAYS.

Along comes Lucien, who is a tiny little nerd who asks a bunch of questions and who is very clearly Not Like the Others™️ and you get these brothers who are constantly annoyed.

Honestly picture Beron like the Burger King and all of his sons like ginger Gastons who have no tolerance for this child who cites chapters and verses during regular dinner conversation and probably speaks like six languages and who never seems to get sunburned.