Getting A Serious Competitive Person To Do Something Is Only A Matter Of Wording

this was more well recieved than i thought. I kinda assumed it would get like 2 likes and thats it lol since the idea is kinda stupid

It's YOURS

Zoro x reader. GN!Reader. Platonic. 643 words. Crack fic

Desc - You walk through a forest and find Zoro lookalikes

The Strawhats walk through a forest, some looking around excitedly while others are more tame. It's alright, but things get a lot better. While walking around you spot something, marimos. Your eyes widen and you run to Sanji while he speaks to Nami, “Nami-swan just know I’ll protect yo-” snatching him by the arm and dragging him over to the marimos in the middle of his oath. Before he can say anything you turn his head to the moss balls.

“Look!” The both of you stare and Sanji takes a moment to process before grinning mischievously. You’ve unlocked something.

“Hey, Zoro!” The cook calls over the swordsman, who walks over thinking it’s something important from the use of his name. That’s quickly thrown out, though. “Look, we found your siblings.” Sanji says while pointing, Zoro follows the direction before scowling. He should’ve known it was something like this.

“You called me over for this?” He’s irritated. “If this is my family then every stupid swirl is yours!” He yells, butting heads with Sanji once his grin faded to anger. Meanwhile, you get your own idea and start picking the moss balls out of the water and stuffing them into your clothes. Uncomfortable but this’ll be worth it.

“Zoro, Zoro.” You call to him, which takes a few times before he finally turns to you.

“What!?” He spots you with a round stomach, your clothes wet with water. “The hell are you doing.”

“Zoro, I’m pregnant.” He stares at you with an annoyed and shocked expression, he can’t believe you’re doing this. You squat down and start pushing like you’re giving birth. “NnnGNGGH!!” The moss balls plop out of your clothes onto the ground. “And they’re yours.”

…

Sanji bursts into laughter and Zoro clenches his teeth. “Stop messing around!” You pick the marimos up and look at him with sadness.

“You don’t accept them?”

“As if!” He barks at you and your eyes widen in faux shock.

“...I’m a single parent..” You look away dramatically and Sanji falls to the ground with tears running down his face from laughter.

“You’re both stupid.” As he says that Robin walks over, curious.

“What’s going on?” She asks and you walk to her while holding your moss children.

“I gave birth,” You hold them up. “but he doesn’t accept them.” You look at Zoro with sorrow. He looks at Robin in disbelief at you but she frowns.

“How horrible.” His jaw drops.

“You too!?” The swordsman yells as Robin wraps her arms around you, comforting you in these trying times.

“Huh? What’s happening?” Luffy stretches down from a tree branch.

“Zoro’s abandoning his children after they were just born.” Robin states and Luffy gasps.

“Zoro! That’s not nice!” The captain admonishes Zoro, completely skipping over any actual logic.

“I can’t believe this.” The other Strawhats continue to gather around as you explain your tearful story dramatically until everyone is comforting you, making Zoro seem heartless while he stands there.

‘How did I become the bad guy here?’ He thinks to himself as Usopp and Nami send him dirty looks. You break from their grasp and slowly walk to your children’s father, holding them out to him.

“Zoro.. please… hold them..” You say softly he stares at the moss uncomfortably, then up at you and the others’ encouraging expressions.

“I…” He falters, starting to give into this weird peer pressure as he takes the wet blobs in his arms.

“How’s being a dad?” You put a hand on his shoulder.

“Uh.” They’re squishy but if he thinks about it they’re cute, in a way. “Not bad I guess-” He looks at you to find you’re barely holding in laughter. “Why am I doing this shit!?” He snaps, throwing the moss ball angrily.

“My babies!” You give chase.

“Cruel..” Usopp whispers audibly to Nami, who nods.

“Shut up!”

Yall fw the format? Thought it might look cooler and i would take advantage of the fact tumblr is more customizable than a03. IK havent written in a long time. Idk why but i coulfnt push thru it. I actually had this written messily a while back and just proofread it and post it just now so im still kinda stuck lolol. Im gonna try and get into it again, rewatching OP to try and get back in the groove 2

When i say i can't handle relationship angst, at least with bad ending, i mean I really really can't handle relationship angst. I'll start crying very easily. Sometimes over very small things. I made up a cheating scenario in my head and ended up having to stop myself from literally crying out in sorrow as i sobbed. More recently i read a smau that included Crocodile and the scenario was like "You wear his shirt" except Crocodile didn't like it and it was supposed to be comedic but it bummed me out, then i started to imagine it in my head and started to despair and i ended up crying sobbing again. To be fair i had stopped taking my meds again (i get lazy to refill the little day by day boxes things, refilled them again 2 days ago bc mood was starting to get really bad) but i know even if i was taking em i would've probably still cried a bit. So unless its platonic or familial angst (though something depressing enough will bum me out a lot) I cant handle it. Strangely enough, whump is an exception. I save whump especially for when im mad or upset, to which i read it and often calm down and can go to sleep.

SOMETHIJG CRAZY HAPPENED IN THE MANGA IT LOOKS LIKE SO ARTISTS REMEMBER TO TAG YOUR WORK AS ONE PIECE SPOILERS OR ONE PIECE MANGA IF YOURE GOING TO POST FANART BASED ON THE CHAPTER THIS GOES FOR FANFIC/ART/ANYTHING EVEN FUNNY POSTS OR SCREENSHOTS PEOPLE REALLY DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED

People following me for my fanfic just to see my mid (peak) takes my b i do be writin that shi doe 🙏

Logged on tumblr. Got a giant one piece manga spoiler. Logging off tumblr

Thanks gifted axolotl

Idea popped into my mind, though i've had it in my mind for a while now. Inspired by this one video i saw a while back (can't find it now) of some person who did the same thing to their cats. If i find it later ill quote this with it. Also comment if you want someone else with this. @mere-mortifer this is just a scenario thing but idk if it counts tell me if it doesnt and you just meant one shots.

Thunk

Various x GN!reader. Platonic. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Brook.

Luffy

“Did you have to spill it? Haven’t you gotten instincts for that?” You say, peeved as you clean up Luffy’s spilled juice.

“I don’t have that on all the time.” He says with a huff, begrudgingly grabbing more paper towels for you until he realizes something. “There’s no more.” It’s run out.

“No more?” You look back at him and see the empty paper towel roll, sighing. “Give it here.” He hands it to you and you bonk it on his head softly with a “thunk”.

“Hey!” He rubs the spot you did it, putting on his straw hat for protection.

“Small punishment, we’ll have to do it with a cloth so go get that for me; even if it’ll be a hassle to have to rinse it out.” Luffy pouts, but gets it anyway since he’ll be scolded if he doesn’t.

Zoro

You’re cleaning up Zoro’s workout equipment, he could do it himself but you’re doing it this time since he’s eating a sandwich Sanji made for protein. “You don’t clean these as often as you should.” You tell him while cleaning up the pole for weights.

“I’m the one who uses it the most anyway, if you think it’s gross just don’t use them.” The swordsman says in between bites. You notice you’ve managed to clean them with the last paper towel, pleased but still annoyed at what Zoro said. You walk over to him where he’s sitting and bonk his head with the empty roll. It makes a “thunk” sound. “Empty head.” He scowls.

“I didn’t ask you to do this.” You thunk him again. “Hey!” Thunk "Ugh."

“It’s not that much of a hassle to clean it, think of it as practicing your patience or responsibility. There’s other types of responsibilities that aren’t protection or fighting.”

“Whatever.” He mumbles and you thunk him on the head for the 4th time. “Stop!”

Sanji

“You should really take more breaks.” You say while rinsing out a cloth you were using to clean.

“I’m used to working this much from the Baratie, you have nothing to worry about.” He sits at the counter after you barely convinced him to atleast sit down for a bit.

“You only get 5 hours of sleep each night, that isn’t healthy for you even if you’re used to it.” He’s about to say something when you interrupt him. “Zoro sleeps less during the night but he naps during the day as well, Brook is a skeleton, and Luffy sleeps whenever he wants during the day as well if he’s tired. You do not.” The cook closes his mouth having been corrected. You grab a paper towel to dry off the counter and realize it’s the last one. You walk over to Sanji, who’s looking down at the ground, and bonk him on the head using the empty roll with a “thunk” sound. “I don’t mind you asking me for help if you need it, so use that assistance to rest a bit. I mean it.”

“...Okay..” He mumbles, his gaze still to the ground as he fumbles with his hands like a scolded little kid.

Robin

“I’m usually more careful than this.” Robin says while she makes sure none of the books have gotten wet. “I suppose I was too focused on the text.”

“If it means it was interesting enough then I’m sure the author would be flattered.” You say while cleaning up a drink she had knocked over while reading. Once she’s made sure nothing got wet she puts the books down on her lap. “There’s no point feeling bad about it now.” You manage to clean everything up by the time the paper towels have run out.

“I apologize for making you do this, you seemed focused as wel-” You lightly bonk her on the head with the empty roll, making a “thunk” sound. Her eyes widen as she looks up at you, shocked.

“Lighten up, you’re acting like you’ve forced me. Of course I would do this for you, you’re my friend.” Her eyes are still wide but she eventually smiles.

“Then I’ll thank you instead. Thank you.” You smile back at her when she thanks you.

“You’re welcome.” You bonked the bad thoughts out of her.

Brook

“If I could see your pantie-” Brook gets hit on the head HARD by Nami before she storms off, walking past you as you notice Brook now sitting on the ground rubbing his forehead.

“Hit again? You really don’t learn your lesson, huh?” You say while standing in front of him. “It was hard this time too, I heard it from where I was.”

“She knocked my brains out! Not that I had any to begin with yohoho!” He jokes, though he never really expects Nami to show her panties. It’s more of a habit at this point, something he gained from the past he’s reluctant to let go of.

“More like scrambled since you can still joke.” You’re holding an empty paper towel roll, on the way to throw it out before you heard the commotion. You get an idea and thunk him on the head with it, “To unscramble,” then do it again. “now to bonk those thoughts out.” He looks up at you, presumably processing what happened since you can’t really see an expression. He rubs his head for a second.

“You’ve warmed my heart (Y/n)-san, not that I have one!” His laugh is slightly less loud. “You’re a miracle worker…” He’s silent for a bit, then goes back to normal. “We should see panties to celebra-” Thunk.

Shoutout to tomboys, you’re great and valid. Someone asked me for this in a comment section but I can't @ them but here you go!

One piece men x tomboy reader. Shanks, Sanji, Zoro.

Shanks

Shanks first met you at a bar.

It might be cliche but he gets fawned over by women (and men) often, you were different.

When you came up to him he already noticed you weren’t the most feminine, but you seemed cool so he didn’t mind.

Before he could lay on some charm, though, you had challenged him to a drinking contest with ridiculous rules.

If you won, you got to join his crew.

Immediately it was like the alcohol in his hand didn’t matter, your boldness was too amusing.

“What’s in it for me? Surely a pretty woman like you has something to offer?”

He didn’t mean what he alluded to, just a test to see what you were like.

When you said you had information on something he would definitely like, well, what kind of a pirate wouldn’t be tempted?

What he didn’t expect is how good of a drinker you were.

Shanks gets drunk, but his mind will stay sober, but you were drinking more than he could handle.

It was a tie, the bar ran out of alcohol.

The both of you were on the verge of passing out when he gave you a thumbs up and said you were in, you gave one back and said you’d give him the info too.

It was the worst hangover since the first time he got blackout drunk when young but man was it an amazing investment.

Turned out you knew info on a rival of his causing trouble around his territories, and you were an amazing fighter.

Shanks couldn’t help himself, he might’ve exploded if he tried not to flirt with you.

Flirts turn to touching and touching leads to the bed, you’re good.

Perfect, really, he fell hard for you.

A capable woman who’s fun to be around, gets along with his crewmates, and is great in bed?

He doesn’t care that you aren't feminine, you’re the most attractive woman he could ask for.

Shanks asked you out and you accepted, now he’s your #1 supporter.

Playing a drinking game? His bets are on you.

Threw a guy who touched you across the bar? Way to go!

You think you can beat him in a fight? Sure, just don’t mind if he gets a little handsy during it~

Overall there is no clear calm and smart one in the relationship, both of you are dumb and Beckman couldn’t be any more unhappy.

Sanji

Sanji is completely put off.

When you first met he was absolutely ready to fawn over you but the moment you, instead of getting mad or flirting back, patted him on the shoulder with a “Thanks, man!” he just stood there.

He almost looked around as if someone else said it.

The way you speak, act, the way you are, it’s like everything in him is rejecting it.

Women are supposed to be sacred, beautiful creatures to be worshiped, yet why are you working out with the mosshead and yelling as loud as Franky?

He still treats you kindly, of course, but there is a bit of a gap between what he’s known all his life and what’s being taught to him.

It changed one day though, you two were running from marines and he tripped.

Embarrassment had flooded through him at tripping in front of a lady(?), but when you had picked him up and kept running his heart started racing.

Here he was, the gentleman, being carried like a princess by a woman.

He couldn’t even protest, it wasn’t long after that that he caught feelings and you two started dating.

Now he worships you in other ways. Always calling you strong and beautiful.

Sometimes he’s still embarrassed, but lord knows he's in way too deep now.

Please be understanding if he pretends that something is too hot for him to touch or if he acts like a damsel.

Getting taken care of by a strong girlfriend just feels way better for him than he could’ve ever imagined.

Zoro

He dislikes you at first, not because you’re a woman that’s masculine, but because he sees you like a challenger.

You drink like him, work out with him, even sleep in random places sometimes. He’s supposed to do that!

You even took the spot he likes to nap in!

Not to mention he can’t even pick a fight with you without the cook immediately butting in because you’re a “lady”.

Lady his ass! You’re hardly a woman!

This sort of thing stopped one day when you two were bickering a bit, and once again Sanji stepped in.

Usually the argument switches over to him and Sanji but this time you weren’t having it and grabbed Sanji by the leg, flinging him away like a ball before looking back at Zoro.

He couldn’t help it, seeing the curly brow about to defend you like a knight only to be flung away was too funny and he ended up cracking a smile.

Like that, he stopped seeing you less as competition and more as someone to do things with.

One day Nami made a joke while dragging you two back to the ship “Ugh you two are always together, are you dating or something?”

That seemed to open something up.

Zoro didn’t really think of you as a woman, not that that was much different than other women, but if he were ever to have a lover in his life he would like someone to do the things he loves with.

He asked you out and you said yes, then you two started dating.

Seems loveless at first, but he ends up using the time to get to know you, and really appreciates you.

He treats you like a person, not like some unruly woman (even if he says that sometimes to mess with you).

You’re the type of couple where people can’t tell if you’re dating or not, but behind closed doors he’ll rest his head on your lap and let you play with his hair.

You’re the only one he’ll tolerate making any sort of grass jokes about his hair, girlfriend privilege.

Akainu: We're going to kill every last pirate here!

Koby: PLEASE STOP! THERE'LL BE TOO MANY CASUALTIES!

Borsalino:

If you want something to laugh/get mad over there are somehow trumpies in this comment section getting mad at their own lies they made up. Straight up denial not even joking. Like some of these gotta be ragebait

Trump voters on tiktok are EXTREMELY mad about the following:

They just found out what tariffs are

They just found out what denaturalization is

They (particularly black and Hispanic trump voters) just found out that other trump voters are racist

Leftists and liberals don't want to be their friends (they are furious about this)

Leftists keep telling them they hope they get what they voted for (they are really mad about this too)

Needed to clean my dog and while i was holding her and making sure the water was okay she started shaking like a medieval sinner watching as the iron maiden is being prepared. Like girl it's not that serious.