Straw Hat Pirates + John Mulaney Quotes

I, as a brazilian, am in accord with that statement

full offense but what’s happening in Amazon should be by law considered an act of treason against all of the life on this planet

OMFG I love this!!! It's so amazing!!! and adorable!!! 

Happy Valentine’s day everyone!

I'm-

I'm sorry, what???

HE CAME PRE-TRAUMATIZED ALREADY, COME ON, THERE'S NO NEED FOR THIS.

the majority of one piece becomes instantly funnier when you remember how old the characters are

zoro, a 19 year old man letting this random 17 year old be the boss of him and deciding he would die for that kid after knowing him for like two days

robin, a 28 year old woman asking to join a group of 15-19 year old kids’ little pirate club and is basically their mom now

luffy is literally the 2nd youngest crew member next to chopper and everyone has to listen to him because hes the captain

So the gods are notoriously bad parents, but have we considered what it would be like if they acted like normal parents?

Zeus: AS LONG AS YOU LIVE UNDER MY ROOF YOU FOLLOW MY RULES

Thalia: under your-? YOU MEAN THE SKY?!?!

Or

Athena: I believe it's probably about time we have... the talk

Annabeth: bold words from a virgin goddess

Or

Hades: when I was your age my parents never gave me handouts. I had to work for what I wanted

Nico: your dad literally ate you, I -

Or

Poseidon: if your friends jumped off a cliff would you?

Percy: so... this has happened and I'm gonna let you know now that it will happen again

Or

Will: just gonna say that Aunt Artemis doesn't force her huntresses to go to music lessons...

Apollo: If Aunt Artemis is so great then go live with her!

Will: if I was a girl I would

Or

Aphrodite: Because I said so

Piper: jokes on you, I have charmspeak too

Or

Pluto: Another dog? We have a dog! One could argue that we even have three. Besides, who is gonna end up taking care of this dog? Me. You and Nico aren't responsible. Besides, dogs are expensive. You know, money doesn't grow on trees-

Hazel: because...i can get it from the ground??

Remus: Prongs, truth or dare?

James: truth

Remus: what's the hottest thing about Padfoot?

James: his brother.

Sirius:

Sirius:

Sirius: wHAT–

Hunter, climbing through Darius' window at 3am: Is four followers a lot?

Darius, locking the window and shutting his blinds: Depends on the context. On penstagram? No. In a dark alley? Kind of.

i just found 12 bricks

The blessed time of Cab Calloway of his orchestra and his extraordinary dancers.

(Put on sound)

tgcf facts that everyone easily forgets

- hua cheng is a hot asshole

- xie lian is depressed

- mu qing is the only virgin in the xianle trio

- feng xin is the only character in tgcf who uses a bow and arrow

- pei ming is aromantic

- e-ming is an infp

- ling wen got discriminated cause she was a woman

- yushi huang is a feminist

- banyue was hanged more than once

- pei su is willing to get caught just to get banyue back

- xuan ji is not in love, she is obsessed.

- lang qianqiu was forgotten easily

- yin yu is described to look simple and plain in the novel

- quan yizhen is naive

- shi wudu deserved his death (rip to him btw)

- shi qingxuan and he xuan were born on the same month, day and year, and almost have the same name.

- qi rong is the funniest character in tgcf (might make alot of people mad but whatever)

- fengqing is canon. End of discussion.