Never Felt So Strong On Wanting A Part To😭😭

Never felt so strong on wanting a part to😭😭

Mother knows best

(Yandere Illumi Zoldyck x reader)

TW: Contolling parents, sexual content, abuse, emotional manipulation. Kikyo is the warning.

In the lavious gardens within the Zoldyck estate, in a small fraction on the dormant volcano of Kukuroo mountain, sitting inside the marble gazebo was a woman in her mid forties. Her face was covered in bandages and a strange robotic visor, she wore a bold and frilly purple dress and her hat was covered in the most extreme decorations.

Her name was Kikyo Zoldyck and she was the Matriarch of the Zoldyck family. 

Kikyo liked to consider herself a successful woman. Many years ago, she was nothing more than a nobody who lived in a city that didn’t exist. Meteor City. She made her living years ago as an assassin, dirty jobs and what not. But she always knew she was meant for more in life than living in a town of trash.

It was to her great fortune that she stumbled upon Silva Zoldyck while on a mission. She remembers that day all too well. He was so handsome, his hair was in a long braid and he had that stern look on his face when he was ready to kill someone. She knew then and there that this man was her ticket out of that dump she called home and to a place worth making a future out of.

Now look at her, she owns a large mountain, has a myriad of butlers at her beck and call and four beautiful children who she and her beloved husband have trained to become cold blooded assassins. (Yes, Only four. She’s not forgetting anyone.)

On the table in front of her were cakes, muffins, tarts and delicious tea. Her beloved kalluto was to join her in a bit so that they may talk about his training. Truly, life couldn’t get better than this.

“Pardon me madame.” Said an old voice. She turned her head and saw her husband’s personal butlers. Tsubone and her Granddaughter, Amane. “What is it, Tsubone? Speak, I’m trying to enjoy my tea.”

“Master Illumi has informed us he will be bringing a young woman home with him, we believe she is to be a potential spouse.”

Kikyo Zoldyck was by no means mentally stable. She spent the majority of her childhood and adolescent years fighting for her life and killing targets to make ends meet. Then after marrying Silva, she was required to give birth to Silva’s children to continue on the family line. This woman had an unhealthy affection for all her children. Obsessing over every little factor of their lives and possessive of how they are raised.

Illumi was no exception, especially since he was her firstborn. Although he was not to be the heir of her husband’s clan, she put her blood and sweat into making him the perfect killer. He was her boy, so therefore he deserves everything he desires. Her boy can do no wrong but..

A woman..?

“WHAT?!” She screeched. Destroying the tea cup that was just in her hand. Neither Tsubone nor Amane flinched at her erratic behavior for both were expecting this reaction from their mistress. “A WOMAN!? My Illumi!? Since when!?”

“We’ve only been informed of her now, My Lady. Master Silva commanded us to inform you of her and Master Illumi's arrival next week.” Tsubone replied, composed and calm. Kikyo began to bite her nails and growled in annoyance. As the Lady of the mansion, she would be expected to have a room for her prepared and a grand dinner to welcome the guest.

She was annoyed, greatly annoyed. Her son was bringing a woman home?! Just who was she and who did she think she was?

*******

You stepped off the airship with Illumi holding your hand, like the gentleman you knew him to be. “Thank you Illumi.” He hummed in acknowledgment. You couldn’t help but smile. Your Illumi. He was amazing to you in every way. He was very handsome, long black hair that rained down to his buttocks. His lean yet muscular body. He was such a gentleman to you, flowers everyday at your apartment type of gentleman.

He would take you out on a date every week and when he was away on a trip, he would text you every morning and night to let you know how much he couldn’t wait to get back to you. Your Illumi.

“So, this is your home?” You asked rhetorically. You knew he didn’t need to answer. Why else would he bring you to this place? The mountain was huge, to think he grew up in this kind of place must have been quite the experience. “Hmm.” He hummed anyway.

You knew he was an assassin by trade, it was the first thing you knew about him when you first met him.

Your father was a ruins hunter and he kept you by his side your entire life. You would spend your childhood traveling to different areas in the unknown world with him, discovering ruins and finding ancient artifacts. He taught you nen and you quickly learned you were a specialist, an exorcist to be more specific.

You once helped your father’s comrade be free of a nen curse a malicious user put on him when you were ten years old. During that time, you developed a love for tarot card reading. What started out as a simple hobby is what turned into your ability. Depending what card another person would pick, you would be able to see what future comes from the type of card you pick. This earned you the nickname, ‘Witch of fortune and Misfortune’. Cringe but you didn’t pick it yourself.

When you were eighteen, you tried the hunter exam but failed, you passed the second time when you were nineteen. After you got your hunter’s license, you decided you needed to train more and find out what kind of hunter you wanted to be.

So in order to get stronger, you entered Heaven's arena, where you met Hisoka Morow. It didn’t help that you both had an affinity for cards. He was indeed an odd man but you two sparked up an uncanny partnership, where he would spar with you and you would help him with jobs if necessary. It wasn’t too soon that he introduced you to his partner, Illumi Zoldyck.

Illumi never hid his profession from you, Hisoka introduced you to Illumi because of their give or take relationship. They believed it would be beneficial for all three of you. Illumi would seek your abilities to help him with jobs  while you learned all you could from the Zoldyck Assassin.

It had become a routine until one day, Illumi had asked to court you. It took you by surprise if you were being honest. He had such a stone cold and eerie exterior, you would have never guessed he was interested in you. Nevertheless, you agreed to it because what's the worst that could happen?

Falling in love with him?

Exactly, and how hard you fell was insane. He took you to places you never dreamed of, he made you feel gorgeous at night when he would brush your hair and massage your shoulders.

Sex was great too! Well, he was your first and only so you couldn’t really make a comparison with anyone else. But even so, sex was passionate and hot with him constantly whispering words of love and lust into your ear. 

It's been a year since you and Illumi made things official and he recently passed the hunter exam. He decided it's time you met his family.

You swallowed your saliva in order to make your throat more dry. “I’m nervous ill’, what if your family doesn’t like me.” You are sweating a bit, you haven’t heard much from Illumi about his family. Only that they’re the world’s greatest assassins and that they could have your head removed from your shoulders any time they want.

“Appease my mother as much as you can. Pay your respects to my father and Grandfather. Feel free to ignore Milluki.”

You still are. “What..?” Seriously? That was it? That didn’t help much.You guess it couldn;t be helped. Illumi was always quite vague with his answers.

“Come. If we want to reach the mansion, we’ll have to begin the trek up now.”

****

It took longer than you expected, forty seven minutes to be exact. If you were a normal civilian, you reckon it would have taken six hours and that's subtracting all the obstacles and guards that were stationed around the estate. Although, you shouldn’t be surprised, you're sure the heads of the Zoldyck family would be a hefty reward for anyone who was strong enough to take them.

“Here we are.” The view of the mansion was ginormous. At the front, it looked like any normal manor but the rest of it was just… mountain. Like the building was built into the mountain, the building itself looked like it was five stories high. “Woah..” you mumbled.

“It's okay I guess.” Your lover mused. Sometimes you wondered if your boyfriend ever got surprised.

It was then you noticed three people standing by the front of the manor, an old man with his back bent, a taller man with a body builder body and a woman in the most extreme outfit you’ve ever seen.

“Is that your…”

“Be calm and don’t let them know your fear.”

You wouldn’t call it fear but you were shaking. You two approach the older members of Illumi’s family, you swallow your saliva and take a deep breath. EVerything will be fine. As long as you manifest it in your mind, everything will be great. You’ll greet them, you’ll have dinner with them, you will have a pleasant conversation with them and they will like you-

“Mother, Father, Grandfather. I would like you to meet (Y/n) (L/n). My partner for the foreseeable future.”

Oh crap, you were already in front of them. You bowed your head to show your respect.

“Hello Madame, Sir and Sir. I’m very happy to be finally meeting you-”

“Is that what you're wearing to officially meet us?” You heard a female voice grunt. You were certainly caught off guard, you knew you were already off to a bad start. Looking up, the voice came from Illumi’s mother, Kikyo. “Sorry, Madame-”

She cut you off again.” And honestly, look at yourself! You're clearly sweating and your hair is mangled! You call this presentable?! I am appalled by this!” You shrunk into yourself. Were you really that bad? You wore some black leggings, a blue strapless undershirt with a high neckline and a white cropped waistcoat and a pair of pumps. 

(Definitely not something you picked up from the troublesome duo)

You didn’t want to over dress for this exact reason, you knew you would be going up the mountain and would sweat. But was it that noticeable?

“Leave the girl alone Kikyo, It's her first time traveling up the mountain so she’ll understandably be exhausted.” Spoke Silva. Illumi’s father. You smiled, at least he was a bit more considerate. You noticed the Grandfather, Zeno inspecting you, He nodded his head and hummed. “Yes, Yes. I see she is quite diamond. Rough around the edges but a little work will fix it.”

Really? His grandfather has already assessed you and that you can be fixed.

“Please Father. You're giving this girl way too much credit.”

Ok, you were really starting to not like Illumi’s mother. “Mother, Please refrain from insulting my lover too much, she isn’t as elegant or graceful as you yet.” You had to refrain from letting your jaw slip, But you could definitely feel your eyeballs nearly burst from your sockets. ‘Excuse me?!’

“Hm, I guess not.” She retorted.

“That's enough, we’ll leave you two to freshen up before dinner.” Silva demanded. He walked away with Zeno and Kikyo following him. However, you noticed Kikyo looked back at you and growled. This woman had only met you seconds ago and she really had it out for you. You were confused as to what you did to piss her off so much.

BUt if you were being honest, you were more angry than confused.

More so at Illumi than Kikyo.

*********

The walk to your room was agonizing. After you had entered the mansion with Illumi, he instructed the butlers to guide you to your room. From what you knew, they had already brought your luggage there. 

“Here are your main quarters. Madame Kikyo had it all arranged for you, however we ask for an escort whenever you leave your room, the mansion itself is tricky and you may find yourself lost.” The female butler instructed. She opened the door and you were appalled at the scene.

The wallpaper was ugly yellow color. It had a textured pattern but the pattern in itself was revolting. The bedsheets were a green color, something you’d picture on an old man’s bed. The furniture looked new but it was its color that was off putting. A red polish glistened over all the wood. The curtains were orange and the carpet you stood on was purple.

Just the horrible color combinations of this room deeply disturbed you. “Is something wrong Ma’am?” The Butler asked. You shook your head and held your hands up. “No-no! Of course not. Tell Mrs Zoldyck I am grateful!” She nodded her head and once you stepped inside the room, she closed the door. With you finally seeking privacy, you groaned. “It's official! I never had a chance from the start.”

Honestly, why else would his mother put you in such an off putting room. “I need to sit down…” You went over to the desk with the intention to put your head on the flat surface. But. The chair wouldn’t budge. “What the hell..?” It was incredibly heavy. It took you a while to pull it out but the time you did, you were already tuckered out.

“Forget this!” You hopped onto the bed but immediately regretted it.

The mattress was rock solid. You pulled the blankets off and the mattress looked normal, but when you tried to push down on it, it wouldn’t move. “What the hell?!” You sunk down and rubbed your face. You were becoming more and more frustrated. What did this woman have against you?

“Y/n?” Spoke, the last person you wanted to see.

“Come in…” You groaned.

Illumi walked in, not in the least put off by the room. “I came to see how you’ve settled in.” You turned your face away from him and grunted. “Yeah. it's been a pleasure.” He bends down to your level to face you, but you refuse to look at him. “Judging from your expression and attitude, you're being sarcastic and you're clearly upset. Tell me what's wrong.”

You exploded. “What’s wrong Illumi is that your mother has decided she doesn’t like me! And I’m not just basing that off from our first conversation. Look at this room Illumi! It's hideous. The furniture is heavy like why? And the mattress is not comfortable. It looks like a mattress but I’m convinced it's just a concrete block.”

Your boyfriend sighed. “My mother has always had impeccable taste. Our furniture is always heavy, there is no room for weakness in our family. And that mattress is used for training, to get our bodies used to sleeping in uncomfortable situations. She’s probably just testing you.”

“Yeah well I don’t appreciate being tested, Illumi.” You scoff, getting up and making your way over to the window. You saw endless forests. Your lover comes up from behind you and rubs your shoulders to which you immediately relax. “Darling. This is all just a necessary precaution. You know I want to make you my wife but in order to do that, my family must believe you have what it takes.” You turn around to face him.  An expression of sadness coating your face.

“And what if I don’t have what it takes? What then?” His expression doesn’t change in the slightest.

“You do. I know so. Just be patient, you will be accepted.” He held you in a tight embrace and you reciprocated. That wasn’t what you wanted to hear but you were grateful to know he had faith in you. He kissed your neck and his fingers crept under your shirt. He ran his long digits up your back making you shiver in glee.

“Illumi~ , You know I have to get ready for dinner.” You purred, digging your fingers into his shoulders to bring him closer. “Dinner won’t be ready till seven, Until then, I want you all to myself. “He growled viciously into your neck. You bit his ear lobe as a way to entice him further. It worked beautifully as he grabbed the back of your thighs and hoisted your legs around his waist.

“In the shower?” You ask.

“Yes.” He hushed.

He brought you into the bathroom and slammed the door shut with his foot where he proceeded to do unspeakable things to you. In short, he fucked you in the shower.

******

“So, which dress?” You asked, holding out an array of dresses you had put on hangers so that your lover who was currently sitting on the bed, drying his long raven locks could have a proper look. “This isn’t your usual style.” He noted. It was true. Most of the dresses you had brought were new and appropriately modest.

Usually, you would wear shorter and more flashy dresses. You picked up a certain hobby of attending clubs with Illumi and Hisoka, the night life suited you. Well, at least you thought so. “Well, I am meeting your parents and I’m sure your mother would approve more of these dresses than my other ones.”

“You're not wrong there.” He said.

You froze, glaring at him with evil eyes. “Hey, what's that supposed to mean?” Your eyebrow twitched and he hummed. “I was only agreeing with you. My mother would prefer these dresses.” You were getting annoyed. It wasn’t what he said but how he said it. Like it was to be expected.

“Do you prefer these dresses?” You interrogated. He stood up and tossed the towel onto the bed. “Well, You are going to be my wife soon, so I would like it if you dressed a little more modestly.” Your mouth went agape but you quickly closed it. “If you didn’t like the dresses before, then why didn’t you say anything?” You growled.

He took off the towel covering his waist and began putting his clothes back on. “Because you seemed to enjoy wearing those clothes. But once we are married, that’ll have to stop. You’ll be a Zoldyck soon so you must conduct yourself properly.” He went to the door and you had to hold yourself back from saying something disrespectful. He opened the door and looked back at you.

“Where the blue dress. You're not a Zoldyck yet so wearing purple would be unbecoming.”

He left the room and left you feeling like absolute shit. Was he displeased by your wardrobe? Would you really have to forfeit your lifestyle just to fit in with Illumi’s image of you? You have to try, you knew your relationship was meaningful, you loved Illumi to the moon and back. You had to fight for him, because you were positive he would do the same for you.

“Blue dress it is then.”

You looked at the desk where you put a golden necklace on. It was given to you as a gift by Illumi on your first date. It had three diamonds in the center, making a mental note to wear it.

*****

You and Illumi walked to the main banquet hall, arms interlocked with one another. He had worn a purple outfit, one that you found rather dashing on him while you wore a long frilly baby blue dress. You had taken out any prior piercings and covered up any noticeable tattoos or scars. You were going for a certain look that will appeal to his family, one in your mind that you believe his family would approve of. You played with the gold necklace on your collar bone.

“The dress suits you well dear, you should wear it more often.” He commented. You held back any feelings of negativity, tried to forget what he had said earlier. Illumi says things he doesn’t mean, he’s a bit simple minded. He doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong. You forgive him.

“Thank you, Illumi.” You smile. The butlers open the door and you're welcomed inside the hall. You see Kikyo talking with her husband, a girl standing off to the side watching her mother. She has a bob haircut and a lovely kimono. You see Zeno looking out a large window, probably staring off at the setting sun.

 The last person you spotted was a boy sitting on an expensive looking lounge chair, tapping his foot incessantly on the floor. He was plus sized and looked similar to Illumi which made you cringe internally. “So, This is your whole family?” You asked, twirling your pointer fingers together.

“Well, There’s Great Great Grandfather Maha but no one really knows where he goes- There's Milluki over there, feel free to ignore him, I always do and my younger brother Killua isn’t here. He’s off playing a child. There's the thing in the basement and then there's Kalluto over there.”

You resist making any facial expressions. How the hell were you supposed to take that all in? Things in the basement? Ignore Milluki- his great grandfather is alive? His Grandfather looks old enough already. “Oh!....That's nice.” Just smile through it. Just smile through it all!

“Dinner is ready.” Called a giant lady from a door on the other side of the hall. She had a monocle and her hair in two high pigtail braids. Everyone stopped what they were doing to be seated. Zeno sat at one end of the table while Silva sat at the other end. But before he did, he pulled out Kikyo’s seat.

“Come.” Illumi whispered to you. He pulled out the seat next to Zeno, where he gestured for you to sit. “Thank you Illumi.” You hummed before taking your seat next to Zeno. He took his seat next to you which was also by Silva. Kalluto sat beside his mother.

“Hey! Where’s my seat!?” Roared the large boy. You looked around and noticed there were only six chairs in total. “She’s in my seat!” He hollered pointing towards you, you really weren’t in the mood to get on anyone’s bad side. “Uh.. okay- I’ll just excuse myself-”

“Don’t.” You heard the deep sturdy tone of Silva’s command. You were going to exit the chair but his voice stopped you from moving. He looked back at his son. “Milluki, we have a guest tonight. The servants will bring you your food to your room.” 

The boy wasn’t happy with this decision and grunted. “Fine!” He stomped off and you could feel the awkward tension in the air. You nervously kept your hands together, you didn’t know if this night was off to a bad start or not. “Sorry about that, forgive Milluki, he’s a bit stubborn.” Silva added, looking at you.

“Oh no, it's fine. I just hope I haven’t caused anyone any trouble.” You answered back. Dinner was served and you were each served your helpings. You noticed no one had touched the food yet so you waited as well. You notice  some eye contact between Silva and Zeno before they nod their heads. It was only then everyone started to help themselves.

You looked around the different dishes they had. Tempura, gyoza, seafood, salad. Healthy dishes. You took what you could get and cut into some food. The butlers came around and served wine. You took a small sip before Silva redirected his attention to you.

“So, tell me (Y/n). What is it that you do for a living?” You looked over at Illumi as he continued to eat. “Well, I’m a hunter. I haven’t decided what type of hunter I’ll be but I’m currently a fighter in Heaven's area.” He hummed. “How did you come to meet Illumi?”

“I met him through Hisoka. Me and Hisoka have a give/take partnership. I help him and he helps me. He thought it would be beneficial for both me and Illumi to meet and partner up together.” Your response was professional, maybe too professional? 

“Hmm.. I see.”

He went back to his food and so did you, it was terribly quiet, apart from the clinking sounds of cutlery and dishes. It felt awkward, was this how everyone feels when they go to meet their significant other’s family? Kalluto, the girl sitting in front of you was staring at you. Once you caught wind of her observation, you froze.

You looked around the table to see if anyone else was going to bud in. It was then, she spoke.

“So, what nen type are you?”

If you could bonk yourself on the head you would. After hearing her voice, you could make the calculation in your head. That this little girl was in fact a little boy. Needless to say, you felt incredibly stupid. “Huh hem!” You heard the Kikyo sound as you turned to look at her. “I do believe my Darling Kalluto just asked you a question. It's rude just to ignore him.”

“Oh.” You whispered, looking back at the young boy who kept his glare on you. This family put you on edge, you wouldn’t lie to yourself but isn;t every family meeting like this? You would soon get over this stage and be closer with his family. Yeah. That’s how it will go.

“I’m a specialist. I can use tarot cards to see different futures of my clients, depending what card they choose. I’m also… well…” You were hesitant to say you were an exorcist. Your father always told you to keep your exorcist abilities to yourself. That it would be dangerous if anyone found out since exorcists were long sought for.

“Speak up girl, what are you? A kitchen mouse?” Kikyo spoke up in a snide attitude. It was then you almost forgot where you were. This was Illumi’s family and possibly in the future, your family too.

Hopefully…

“I’m an exorcist. I can deactivate nen curses and what not.” Everyone stopped eating. Silva and Zeno weren’t looking at you but you could tell you had caused the silence. Kikyo on the other hand didn’t look happy, there wasn’t much of her face you could identify but by the way she scowled and bit her lips to prevent herself from making an unpleasant sound that had become obvious to you. After a while, Zeno spoke up. “Illumi, why haven't you told us sooner that you have found such a competent and utilitarian spouse.”

With that, Kikyo had slammed her hands down on the table, standing up, giving you a fright. “Father please! Don’t give this girl any more credit! For all we know, she could be lying to just show off!” You shrunk in your seat, this woman was terrifying. Why did you assume that you were lying?

“Well, Illumi? Answer your Grandfather.” Silva said, completely ignoring his wife.

Illumi put his cutlery down. “Because, I wasn’t sure at first if we would be together long term, I wanted to see if she was up to being my potential spouse, that and her preference for keeping her ability a secret. As her boyfriend, it would not do well on my part to expose her secrets.”

You could feel your heart flutter, Illumi kept your ability confidential for your sake. You smiled. You knew Illumi said things that can come out a certain way, but you always knew, deep down he was looking out for you.

“Is that so?” Kikyo spat, looking directly at you from across the table. You were thankful you were neither beside or across her directly. “Then let me ask you some questions ‘dearie’ and I better not catch you on a lie!” she barked. “Wife, is this interrogation necessary?” Silva sighed. He looked fed up.

Kikyo looked at him like he was mad. Well you couldn;t tell with the strange robotic visor she was wearing but that was the vibe she gave off. “Oh course Silva! This is Illumi’s future we’re talking about! I can’t have him wasting it on some tramp!” You gasped at her outburst. You mouth agape. You couldn’t hold back the “Excuse me?” coming from your tongue.

You felt Illumi suddenly grab your arm in a tight grip. You looked over at him, his hold on you was painful, he gave you a look that told you to drop it. You were hurt and he won’t come to your defense? “Illumi..” You whispered.

“Tell me, (Y/n). How exactly do you plan on becoming one of us? Have you ever killed someone? Do you have what it takes to uphold the honor and tradition that this clan has carried for more than two centuries?” 

You became speechless. Although you’ve trained with Illumi and Hisoka, had your share of fights in the heavens area, you never took a life. You had never been in a position where you had to make that call. And the honor and tradition thing? You didn’t know how much honor a group of assassins could have but you were sure they had plenty of traditions since they raise their children from birth to be cold blooded killers.

“N-No.. I haven’t. I don’t know where you’re going with this Mrs Zoldyck. Isn’t it enough that I love your son and want to find happiness with him?” You argued. She sneered at your statement and pointed a fan at you. “Love? Happiness? Don’t be such a child! You're marrying into the clan of the world’s greatest assassins and you expect to get by on ‘Love' and ‘Happiness’? Don’t make me laugh.”

Your bottom lip wobbled, you wanted to cry, sob. This woman was terrible.

“Also, while we’re on the matter of spouses and marriage. When you become Illumi’s wife, you will have to bear his children. There isn’t any ifs, ands or buts about it. Do you think you're capable of taking on the role of a mother and being the next matriarch of this household?”

You stuttered, finding the right words to say. “Mrs Zoldyck. I do believe the discussion of children and what I do with my body should be between me and Illumi. Besides, I’m only twenty, Illumi and I have our lives ahead of us. Wouldn’t it be better for us to work on ourselves and each other before we think about bringing kids into the world?”

The woman growled, clearly displeased with you. “You're only twenty? Pssh! I had Illumi when I was eighteen and look at how I raised him! He is a capable and competent assassin! All of my children will be the best of the best because I didn’t dilly dally on my duties as the Zoldyck Matriarch! You are completely unfit to marry my Illumi and that's that!”

You had to hide your face in shame. You were in tears. How did this woman have the gall to talk to you the way she did? What's worse is that Illumi didn’t speak on your behalf, not once.

“Kikyo, my dear. I believe you’ve grilled the girl quite enough tonight. (Y/n), you are free to leave.” Zeno groaned, slapping a hand against his face. “Thank you Mr Zoldyck…” You mumbled before you got out of your chair despite its weight and rushed out of the dining hall. You let the tears roll down your face as you let out ugly sobs.

“Miss (L/n). I’m here to escort you back to your room.” The butler from before came from seemingly nowhere to offer her assistance. You didn’t dare deny her request. “Yes, Please.” You wailed, following her. You honestly just wanted to go to sleep and forget this dinner ever happened. You had never had never been this emotionally drained before and you didn’t think you could cope.

“(Y/n)!” Illumi called from down the hall, stopping your butler from carrying out her duties. You knew she would be reprimanded if she disobeyed Illumi. You sniffed and wiped your tears away. He approached you both and waved off your butler.

“(Y/n),  come back with me. You need to apologize to my mother, she doesn’t know it yet but you are new to this. I promise you I can set us on the right track. She’s a stubborn woman but she’ll see your perfect-”

“Illumi stop!” You scowled. He looked as surprised as an emotionally dead assassin can be. You scratched your head while wiping your eye. “I am not in the mood to deal with any more crap tonight. Your mother is clearly not my biggest fan and doesn’t want you and I to marry. What is the point of this anymore? I should leave tomorrow…”

“No.” He said. You looked up at him and he had a face of anger, one you haven’t seen before and it made the hairs on your arms and legs stand up. “You are tired. You're not thinking straight. You need to rest.” he declared, picking you up and carrying you down the hall.

“Illumi stop! Let go!” You protested but he ignored you. You were brought to his room where you were tost onto his (much cozier and comfortable) bed. Your heeled shoes were torn off and your dress was lifted off from above your head, leaving you in just your underwear.

“You are an ungrateful woman, you know?” he chastised, taking off his own clothes. “Do you want to throw away everything we have because of my mother's stubbornness? She will accept you, but are you ready to back out so easily?” You felt your heart become heavy with guilt as he reached behind you and took your bra off.

“Did our relationship really mean nothing if you’re just effortlessly giving up?” You covered your face and sobbed. “I’m sorry Illumi! I’m so sorry! I tried my best! I just don’t want your family to resent me!” He gently pushed you onto your back and took your panties off.

“It’s okay. I understand. You want my mother’s approval. You will receive it soon, you just need to work a little harder.” he whispered. He pulled the blankets out from underneath you and got beside you in the bed. “You want to make it up to me, don’t you?” His eyes, you loved his eyes. But there were times they absolutely terrified you. You nodded your head as he removed his boxers and had you lay down on your side.

He cuddled into your back and kissed your neck. You moaned in bliss. You felt the head of his cock intrude your folds and groaned at the slight pain of taking him inch by inch unlubricated. Illumi loved having you cockwarm him after missions or just in general whenever you're at your apartment. He wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled his head in the crook of your neck.

“I love you Illumi.” You uttered as sleep took you.

“I know..” He uttered back.

******

Kikyo was mad. She was full on ballistic as she paced around her private room. Biting her nails, Huffing and puffing, physically stopping herself from destroying anything in her room. “That little harlot..!” She sneered, taking her hat off and removing her robotic visor from her face.

There she got a good look at herself in her vanity mirror.  Her eyes that were once dark like her children’s were now gray. Many years ago, before she had married Silva, she had contracted an eye disease that to this day has no cure. She had been losing her vision. Silva gifted her with the visor so she would not have to depend on her eyes.

But she could see, she could see the fury in her own eyes as she pulled out her bun, letting her jet black hair that she keeps hidden fall down her shoulders until it hit where her thighs were. She always knew she was a beautiful woman, she took pride in it. (She wished Killua hadn’t stabbed her so she didn’t have to wear these ridiculous bandages) 

She took pride in many things, like her family. her children especially. Illumi was like her in every way, she wished him to have the best of the best. That girl was not the very best of the best. She will never make a good assassin nor integrate into her ideals of what a Zoldyck should be.

She sat down in her seat and opened a cabinet in her vanity. Inside were individual photo albums of all her children. She picked up Illumi’s and opened the first page where she saw his first picture. He was in her arms minutes after she had given birth. She never knew she could love someone so much after spending years looking after herself.

She had made a vow to herself that her children would have everything she never had. The best of the best, the finer things of life. She growled at the image of you in her head. You would not do it. You were below what she wanted for Illumi. She needed Illumi to see that you did not deserve him.

She put her visor back on with disregard for her hair or her hat. She marched over to a set of drawers where she kept a small laptop and placed it on her vanity. It gave her access to the Zoldyck database. Granted she wasn’t as good at computers as her son Milluki but she knew enough.

She went into a small section of profiles that was updated regularly. She didn’t want to resort to this so soon but the last thing she wanted was someone to take Illumi away and tear down all the hard work she put into him. She needed someone she could control. Someone who will obey her and worship her as their mother.

She smirked as she send invites to the five best profiles on her screen.

****

The next morning you awoke in Illumi’s bed, but Illumi was nowhere in sight. There were signs of the bathroom being used but you didn;t think he was still in there. A knock was reverberated on the door. “Miss (L/n), May I come in?” Remembering you were naked, you wrapped the blankets around you to hide your indecency. “Come in.” You yelled quietly.

The butler was pushing a trolley, on the top, there looked to be a tray of food and juice, on the middle tray were some of your selfcare products you had brought with you. On the bottom were your clothes from yesterday, washed, iron and folded neatly. “I’ve brought you your clothes and some breakfast Miss (L/n).”

“Thank you, Miss..?” You never caught her name. She bowed her head in respect. “My name is Quincy, Miss (L/n). Feel free to address me as such.” You nodded and smiled. “Thank you Quincy.” She left and you immediately hopped out of bed and grabbed one of Illumi’s shirt’s from his closet.

You approached his trolley and saw a simple breakfast of rice, egg and bacon. A glass of juice sat next to your hot bowl with a folded piece of paper. You took the paper and unfolded it. 

Dear (Y/n),

I realize how unbecoming it was of my mother to interrogate you like that at dinner in front of the family. You must have been uncomfortable and nervous and it is to my shame that you had to endure that.

Allow me to make it up to you, at this point, you have missed breakfast but I would not have you sit with us after the humiliation you suffered last night and my failure to stop it.  Enjoy this breakfast and use the shower. I would like you to meet with me in the gardens at twelve o’clock. I have a gift for you.

Forever yours,

Illumi Zoldyck.

You rubbed your eyes and a sad smile graced your lips. You knew he cared about you, you just knew it. Hopefully this would all be resolved soon and maybe just maybe, this would make you two stronger.

*********

Kikyo peered into the training room and smirked as her eldest son was completing his cool down stretches. She was in a mood. A good mood shockingly enough but for all the wrong reasons. In her eyes, Illumi was perfect. Her perfect boy who she had raised to be the perfect killer. It took blood sweat and tears but the final result was everything she had hoped for.

Now if only Killua could follow his example, then everything would be jolly but not everything goes to plan. She could only have faith in her husband's words and hope that Killua comes back home. But for now, she’ll wait patiently. He does have that needle in his head so he should be safe.

But for now, she was worried about her current problem, how to get rid of the wench that had seduced her precious Illumi. To her it was unforgivable. The unforgivable crime of having her firstborn stolen from her by some little goody two shoes rat. Illumi is simply minded. Sure this girl may seem pretty but she’s strong. Too strong for Kikyo to feel comfortable with.

Being a specialist and an exorcist is definitely something to brag about but still, from what she knows, she slowly but steadily becomes better and better in combat and her nen abilities. She needs a woman she can control, someone who wouldn’t dare rise against her or turn her son against her.

She’s too kind hearted and loving. That could weaken Illumi and that's not what he needs.

But if he was only using her for things like sexual gradtification then she would understand, her son was young man and he needs an outlet to release all his wants and desires on. But even so, she may be a pretty girl, but she’s not the most beautiful creature to walk the earth.

And she would make her son see that.

“Oh Illumi dear!” She walked inside the training room and Illumi completely halted his actions. “Yes mother, what is it you require of me?” He stood up and was on the same level and she put on a fake smile. A smile she wore many times in her youth when she posed as a damsel in distress in order to get closer to her targets.

“Illumi dear, I haven’t spent much time with you recently and I think you and I should have some mother-son bonding time. Don’t you think that's appropriate?” He tilted his head at her request. “That's new, you usually don’t ask such of me.” He stated. Kikyo got ticked off by the answer and slammed her fan down into the palm of her hand. 

“And!? Are you questioning that I have some form of ulterior motive?! How dare you disrespect me like that Illumi! You ungrateful child!” You spat. Illumi blinked and sighed. “I didn’t say that Mother, I just said you don’t usually ask me things like that.” She began to fake tears of betrayal and fell to her knees. “Is it too much for a mother to spend some time with her first born! After all, you are about to leave me behind for some other woman! How can you be so careless of my feelings,iIl?!”

He sighed and bent down to caress his mother’s back. “I’m sorry mother, I had no idea I was thinking so carelessly. Allow me to go check on (Y/n) first.” He stood up but his mother grabbed his arm. “Oh don’t be silly Ill, I’ve already sent a butler to come and show her around. Come let us go to the Gazebo.” She proceeded to drag him out of the training room, uncaring of his protests to shower first due to his clothes being riddled with sweat.

Her plan was showing results.

Kikyo spotted Butler, Quincy leaving the laundry room, a pair of clothes neatly ironed and folded. She placed them on the bottom shelf of the trolly, having already collected the Harlot’s toiletries and breakfast. Kikyo came out from her hiding spot and approached the female butler.

“Servant.” She commanded, Quincy stiffened and turned around to face the lady of the house. “Yes My Lady?” She bowed her head quickly as a sign of respect. Kikyo handed her a folded piece of paper. “Put the note beside her food. I want you to head straight to her room and deliver her food to her. Don’t answer any questions about the note. Tell her it's not for you to say. Once it's there, leave immediately.”

Quincy nodded her head. “Yes My Lady.” She shuffled off, pushing the trolley off in the direction of Illumi’s room. Kikyo smiled victorious. She felt offended that the girl didn’t sleep in the room she set up for her but she is her darling Illumi’s plaything, it can’t be helped.

This will teach her to come to her home and try to steal her son away. She had seen Illumi’s handwriting many times, so forging a note was easy work. This will surely drive them apart.

*******

Saying you were sad was an understatement. You were incredibly distraught. 

After breakfast, you spent much time in the bathroom, shaving your bodily hair, plucking eyebrows, using expensive serum’s to make your skin glow, eye masks, lip masks, face masks, pore strips and eyelash serums. You could keep going. You maintained your hair so it was silky and moving, just how illumi liked it. You spent ten minutes making sure there were no knots in your hair.

And now you were at the gardens, you arrived five minutes early to make sure you didn’t miss him. You then looked at your watch. It read twelve thirty five, you had been sitting on this stone bench for forty minutes and you were completely stumped. Why hadn’t Illumi shown up?

“Miss (L/n)? Are you alright Ma’am?” You looked to your right and spotted Quincy. She bowed and you were honestly getting sick of all the formalities. “No, not really. Illumi promised to meet me here half an hour ago.” You shook your head. You didn’t know what to do anymore. “That is quite strange. Master Illumi is quite punctual.” She informed you but you couldn’t help but put your face in your hands and groan.

“What is up with him? I’ve never seen him act like this. It scares me..”

“Is there something we can help you with, Miss (L/n)?” said a deep voice.

You turned the opposite direction and saw it was the old woman from the other day and a much younger woman with long black hair and grayish green eyes. They approached and bowed slightly. “Ms. Tsubone! Ms Amane!” Quincy bowed quickly at the two other butlers and you were just confused on what was happening.

“My lady, I am Tsubone. Master Silva’s personal butler and this is my granddaughter, Amane. If there’s something troubling you, we’d be more than happy to assist.” She gave a gentle smile, her granddaughter didn’t give one though. You could tell she was trying to come off as friendly. “Well, the only thing I want right now is to see Illumi. He promised to meet me half an hour ago.”

“Master Illumi? Why, He is with his mother at her gazebo.” Tsubone informed. Your face dropped. Then it turned to anger. You quickly stood up. “What!? What is he doing there! He promised to meet me-” You froze and looked at Quincy. Something wasn’t adding up. You pulled out the note.

“Quincy, who gave you this note?” You demanded. Quincy kept her lips sealed, only uttering. “It's not for me to say..” You began to get frustrated. “Okay, someone is keeping secrets from me and this isn’t cool!” Tsubone tapped your shoulder. “If you allow me, my lady.” She held out her hand and you handed her the note. She opened it up and observed the note.

The paper was a light lavender color The paper itself was embroidered with a darker orchid design.

“I recognise this paper anywhere. Madame Kikyo keeps a notebook filled with these types of pages on her vanity, and uses them to write notes to her husband.” You felt stupid after her analogy. Of course! Of course that witch would pull something like this. You’ve been completely bamboozled.

“I knew it.. I knew things couldn’t be that simple. No. Things can never be simple.” You wail, keeping your tears out of your eyes. This woman was doing this to get a rise from you. You massage your temples and groan. “When can I get a moment of peace? Why is she doing this? Why is Illumi letting her do this?” 

“If I may, shall I give you some advice ma’am.” The older woman spoke. You nodded and took a seat on the stone bench. “Master Illumi takes after his mother, Madame Kikyo. I served the Zoldyck clan long before Madame Kikyo became the Matriarch. She is not a good woman. She is a twisted woman and those traits shine strong in master’s Illumi and Milluki.”

You listened carefully to her words. You always knew that Illumi wasn’t the most morally gray man to live, he and Hisoka were always up to no good but you loved him, so you thought you could live with that. “You my dear seem like a kind and compassionate woman, it's obvious you care about master Illumi. In another world, there might have been a chance you could’ve helped him with his demons. But I’m afraid as long as Madame Kikyo is alive, she will always have her claws sunk deep into him.”

“No! That can’t be!” You protested. Your fingers twisted through your locks and pulled at them. “She’s his mother, she can’t seriously control his movements his entire life. For instance, Illumi chose me! He asked to court me, why would he let her mess everything up!” You rubbed your bare arms, Tsubone bowed slightly. “(Y/n), may I call you that?” she requested.

“Um, of course.” You granted. Tsubone sat on the other end of the bench and looked you straight in the eyes. You knew the nexts words she would say would be harsh but something tells you, you need to hear her out. “(Y/n), Master Illumi is not the heir of the Zoldyck clan, I’m sure you know this. That privilege has been left to his younger brother Killua. One the main reasons he is not the heir is because he is too unstable and power hungry for his own good. (Y/n), leave this place, leave master Illumi while you can. I fear if you stay too long, both Master Illumi and Madame Kikyo will break you down, destroy you until you are a putty, and you will be molded to be the ideal woman they want you to be.”

“That… That…” You couldn’t get what you wanted to say out loud. Not until you were interrupted.

“My, My. What is all this commotion?” Sounded an old voice.

The three butlers bowed and you noticed Zeno approach the four of you. “Ah, Mr Zoldyck.” You got up and bowed your head. Zeno waved off the butlers. “Go, leave us be.” The three butlers dispersed at his command. “Is there something I could help you with Mr Zoldyck?” He chuckled at your question. “Child, just Zeno will do just fine..” You blushed as he walked past you. “I- I’m sorry… Zeno?” It felt weird referring to him by his given name, like what your doing is forbidden.

“Me and Kalluto will be heading up the mountain, since Illumi’s not with you, will you join us?” He offered, you looked around, it didn’t appear that your boyfriend would be showing up any time soon so you nodded. “Um… Okay.” You joined him but his side and walked towards wherever he was leading you too.

*****

“So tell me, what do your parents do for a living?” The old man asked as you traveled up the mountain, you kept a steady pace with him as Kalluto kept silent. He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk much and you could respect that. “My father is a ruins hunter. My mother died a year after I was born. She had stage four cancer that went undetected. Dad has raised me ever since.” You both hop over a trench, Kalluto following you.

“I’m sorry to hear that, it must have been hard for your father. Dealing with Child rearing and work.” He stated, you couldn’t help but giggle. “Hm? What's funny?” the old man’s interest in you had peaked. “I don't think it was hard. My dad always told me that even though it was sad we lost mom, his team was there to help pick him back up.” You then divulged your life story to the old man.

You had a happy childhood, your dad would take you on many adventures and you can’t remember a moment when you were sad. It wasn’t just your dad, he had a whole team filled with different hunters who you considered family. A couple in the team had a few kids who you would look after where every morning, you woke up to a fresh catch and everynight, you would sleep under the stars.

“Well, it seems you had a very cheerful childhood.” The old man noted and you nodded. “Yeah, I remember when I left my dad’s team to become a hunter and fighter at heavens arena, everything was very different. The city, the people. I was scared at first but it became okay- oh!” You noticed a certain flourish of leaf-like sprouts coming from the ground.

“What are you doing now?” Zeno seemed confused by your actions. “This is a rare plant! I’ve only seen it in books but apparently it's meant to strengthen your immune system and it's great for building up resistance to poisons and venoms.” That seemed to earn a laugh from Zeno. “That rare plant is a native species to this mountain. We cultivated it to survive and the volcanic soil surely helps with its growth. We always cook it with our meals.”

Even Kalluto was surprised. “I didn’t know that grandfather.” He looked down at his grandson and snickered. “Well we do have the genes, it’s what helped us get where we needed to be.” You smiled, at least now you knew why Illumi was so unaffected by poison now. “That is so cool!” You commented.

The three of you finally made it up the mountain, Zeno sat on a tree stump to rest his weary bones. You went further into the crevice of the mountain and saw the gaping hole of where the volcanic lava should be. “How long has the volcano been asleep for?” You asked Zeno as he rolled his shoulders. 

“Can’t say, I do believe it might have been a few thousand years.” He commented. You looked out at the view but you couldn’t really see much due to the cloud bank. “Aw man… If these clouds weren’t here, I’m positive I could see the world tree..” You moaned.

You felt a tug on your shirt and you looked down to see Kalluto trying to get your attention. “Oh, Is there something you need, Kalluto?” He remained silent. He reminded you of Illumi in a way, very silent and kinda vague. “You said you can read fortunes with tarot cards, can you read mine?”

Your mouth gaped and turned into a smile. “Aw, of course I can!” You said giddily. Kalluto took offense and sneered. “Hey! Don’t be like that! I just want to see if you're telling the truth!” You chuckled before sitting down on the ground. “Okay, Okay. Let's get started!”

Kalluto joined you on the ground and you reached into your card pouch. In your hands were the key to your fortune and clairvoyance. The back of your cards were blue, they were an old brand that your father and you picked up at an old store that sold crystals and what not. You think you were eight when you got these.

You shuffled the cards in your hands, Kalluto spoke up. “So, how long have you done tarot card readings?” He asked. You smirked. “Well I got these twelve years ago, but it took me a while to remember all the cards names and their meanings. So maybe eleven, ten? I wasn’t the brightest kid.” He looked at you like you were stupid and you expected that reaction.

You laid the cards out in front of you in a neat row and looked down at your client. “Well go on, choose one card.” he stuttered. “Wait, hang on, explain to me how these work again!” You nodded. “In this deck are twenty two cards, each with a positive and negative meeting. You will choose one and depending on what card you choose, will determine what part of your future I will see. Are you ready?”

He nods in turn and scans through the selection. You don’t look at the cards because many people think you looking at a particular card means something. It's in all honesty a random shuffle, you don’t know which card he’ll choose.

“Um…uhh….This one!” He picked up a card and handed it to you. You took the card and turned it over so he could see it. “The hanged man, a traitor who surrendered to his fate. Many sacrifice themselves in the name of martyrdom when they believe what they are doing is right, but it could be no matter how much you bet on it, there could always be a negative outcome…. Would you like to see more?”

Kalluto was confused by your words. But the minute he handed your card to him, you could already see the painful yet needed journey he was in for. He nodded cautiously. You held out your hands and he took them.

“WHY!? Why would Killua leave us?”

“I’ll make this right, I will bring him home.”

“Welcome to the phantom troupe.”

Kalluto pulled away when visions of the future came piling into his head. He fell back and looked at you with wide eyes. “What was that?!” he barked. Your eyes were dull, that he noticed. You closed your eyelids and rubbed them. “That was just a small peek into your potential future.”

“Potential?!”  He squeaked.

“These visions are subjective, the future always changes depending on the decisions you make. It's clear that you want someone back in your life, to bring stability. You will be willing to go to great lengths to ensure this but, ask yourself, are you doing it for yourself or for them?” You picked up your cards and put them back into their pouch before you stood up and walked over to Zeno who looked amused at the scene.

“That looked quite impressive.” He stated. You sat on the ground beside the old man, Kalluto never took his eyes off you, he looked a bit shocked, like he wasn’t ready to see what you showed him. But in your own words, A little bit of insight goes a long way. “It takes up quite a bit of nen to be honest, I always keep stores of it whenever I meditate.”

“And what you said, your visions are the subject. Something tells me you my dear don’t believe in fate.” He stroked his chin and you leaned back to look at the cloudy sky. “Nothing is set in stone, I’m a believer of the butterfly effect. You know the theory that when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a typhoon somewhere else.” 

“A bit extreme if you ask me, why, can you think of an example?”

“Yeah actually. When I was living in the heavens area, i decided to stay up late one night, my match didn’t start till later on in the day. It was a bad decision on my part because I woke up later than I expected. I was in a rush to get to my fight and on my way, I ran into Hisoka who’s match wasn’t on until much later. If I decided to go to bed early and make it on time, you might be talking to someone else right now or no one at all, butterfly effect!”

The oldman chuckled at your analogy. “That is a strange way of looking at it, you are an intriguing girl (Y/n)”. A silence overcame the two of you as you stared off into the clouds. Slowly, they parted and you could see the view a lot more better. And that’s when you saw it.

“The world tree! I knew I’d be able to see it!” You grinned, pointing at the large tree in the far off distance. The old man looked at the tree too and smirked. “I remember climbing that tree once when I was a young lad, it was quite an exercise. Have you ever been there?” He asked and you nodded. “Yup, me and my dad have climbed it together a few times, we climb all the way to the top and then we’d eat some sandwiches and enjoy the view.”

You had to admit, you were enjoying your conversation with Zeno, he was a wise man and wasn’t at all what you expected. “Zeno, may I ask you a question?” He looked at you and shrugged his shoulders. “If I can answer it, then yes.”

“Is my relationship with Illumi… a losing battle?” You asked. You tried not to mumble but he heard you just fine. “It depends, why are you asking me this?”

“Well, I love Illumi… but ever since I got here, his mother has made it clear that I’m not wanted. Sure I don’t have a body count and I’m still improving my skills. I want to be recognised because that's what Illumi wants. I want to integrate into the family so that everyone will accept me but I’m kinda scared.”

He chuckled. “Scared of what? That Kikyo will feed you to Mike?”

“No!” You couldn’t help but giggle, although the thought of being fed to that overgrown hound is terrifying. “What I guess I'm saying is, if I do become a member of your family, I’ll have to reinvent myself. I have to become an assassin. I’m not judging you guys but it's a foreign concept to me. Killing people for money.”

He hummed. “I understand where you’re coming. You seem like a good person so let me tell you something. The difference between Illumi, Kikyo and I.” You were all ears, looking up at the old wise man. “You see, although it's embarrassing to admit, I’ve never taken a life outside of my targets. I keep it a principle of mine not to involve innocent people when necessary, keep my work life separate from my personal life.”

To your dread, you could already see where this was going.

“Both Kikyo and Illumi murder reguardless if the person a target or not. They are both mentally unstable, Kikyo will kill someone if they irritate her in any way, Illumi will kill someone if he finds it convenient for himself.” He stands up and you follow his lead. “Let me share some words of wisdom, (Y/n).”

“Yes Zeno.” You respond, putting your hands together, fidgeting your fingers. You wanted your relationship with him to work. Any advice would be good. 

“Illumi is a cold blooded assassin but he is capable of love. But the way he shows it and goes about it is self destructive and dangerous. Up until we met you, I’ve only known him to only be capable of showing love to his family. That fact he met you and fell in love is surprising but I have no doubt in my mind he will do anything in his power to keep you where he wants you.” He finished.

“But what about his mother? To him, she can do no wrong in his eyes.”

“You're right about that, he always has some backwards logic to justify her actions. I would be wary if I were you (Y/n) and watch your back.”

He called Kalluto to come follow him as he descended down the mountain. You followed their steps and began to go over everything that happened since yesterday. Kikyo doesn’t like you. Illumi wants you to conform and work harder for her approval. Tsubone has advised you that getting involved with Illumi was not good on your part and Zeno backs it up by telling you that Illumi is too psychotic for a healthy relationship.

You needed a fucking drink.

****

Descending the mountain until you caught sight of the Zoldyck mansion.  You felt a sense of dread. You would have to face Illumi and Kikyo. You began to question why you even agreed to come here in the first place, the worst decision you ever made. You knew you couldn’t avoid your boyfriend but you had to have a long talk about him and his priorities.

Speaking of the devil, as you entered the gardens with Zeno and Kalluto, you saw none other than your beloved Illumi heading straight for you. “(Y/n).” He did not look happy, and he had an emotionless expression on his face. That spoke volumes on just how well you knew him. “Illumi, I can explain-”

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, you couldn’t help but blush at the contact. “Illumi..?” His grip got tighter and tighter as if you could disappear at any moment. “Where did you go? I searched everywhere for you.” Was he scared that you might have left? “Well-”

“I invited (Y/n) to come up the mountain with me and Kalluto. Calm yourself, we had an insightful chat. In my opinion, she's a bit of your league grandson.” Zeno interfered, putting his hands behind his back and walking off. Kalluto stepped to your side, looking up at you. “Hey, (Y/n)..” He uttered.

You looked down at him from Illumi’s tight grasp. “Yes Kalluto?” He had a light blush on his face before muttering. “Yourprettycool.” quickly before running off to join his grandfather. That honestly surprised you, you thought that he may have some feelings of uneasiness or resentment. You guess not.

“Well, it seems your grandfather and brother like me!” You joked. But Illumi kept staring at you with those serious eyes. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. “You love me right?” He asked, you were silent, you had no idea where this was going but your gut was telling you it was bad. “Uh- Of course I do. Why would you ask me that?” He pulled away from you harshly. “Would you do anything for me?”

“Yes, Illumi… What's going on?” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along.

“My mother has invited some guests.”

*****

Illumi dragged you along to the east side of the manor while you tried to tell him he was hurting you. The butlers opened some large doors into a large drawing room. You paled.

Inside was Kikyo, she looked well as she always did. Wearing her large extravagant dress and frilly hat. She was surrounded by many young beautiful women in extravagant dresses like her. They all looked to be around the same age as you, maybe a bit older. They all had a look of disdain directed towards you.

“Illumi! There you are, please come and talk with us, these women are dying to meet you.” 

At that point, you were done being polite. You were pissed. “Just what the fuck is going on here?!” you screamed. Beautiful woman, around the same age as you and dressed like her? This wasn’t a fucking coincidence.

“You rude little trollop! Illumi, tell her what is going on.” Kikyo smirked. Illumi looked at you and for once, you didn’t recognise him. “Mother has gathered these women to be prospective brides. We’ve come to an agreement.” He seemed… pleased. You didn’t like that.

“Basically!” She interrupted, standing up, the other ladies joining her. They all had devious smiles, like they were about to ruin your day, maybe even your whole life. “These lovely women are from respectable clans, all drained in the ways of assassination. One of them will have the honor of joining our clan and become Illumi’s wife. Meanwhile, we’ve agreed that you’ll become his mistress. You did say you would do anything for him.” The woman by her giggled, making you feel like a fool.

“Illumi. You can’t be serious! Do you realize what you're agreeing to?” You bark.

“It's fine.” He sighed.

“What do you mean it's fine!?” you screeched.

“Don’t shout like that, it's immature. I’m doing it for you. I know I can’t force you to become an assassin. You being a mistress will be a good thing. We can still be together.” He responded condescendingly. You heard the gaggle of women giggle. “Well there you have it! (Y/n), be a dear and return to your quarters, Illumi must decide which one of these beautiful ladies will be his wife.” Kikyo spoke.

He walked forward and you felt a wave of emotions. Humiliation, shame, anger, sadness and worst of all betrayal. You came to the ever prolonged conclusion that even if you fought for Illumi, he would not fight for you. It was over from the beginning, he was never going to fight Kikyo for you. And that was a fact.

The women continued to snicker at you, you felt helpless, trapped. This would be your life from now-

….now…

You reached up to your collar bone and felt for the necklace. The one Illumi had gifted you. It was then you realized you do have a choice. You always had a choice. And you decided at that moment that you don’t deserve this.

Without a moment's hesitation, you ripped the necklace from your body and threw it at Illumi’s head. He didn’t dodge it but he didn’t see it coming. The room went quiet. Illumi turned to face you and Kikyo growled. “How dare you?! I welcome you into my house and this is how you repay my kindness!?”

Illumi’s face had changed progressively, he was annoyed but he was also confused on why you did that. You would not cry, you would not shed a tear. You only had one thing left to say to him.

“You and I are fucking done.”

You stormed out of the drawing room. You heard voices being raised.

“(Y/n)! Come back!” Illumi yelled.

“Don’t bother with her my dear! She was never good enough for you!” Kikyo argued.

You were finished with this relationship. It was sickening, thinking you and him would be forever only to find out he was nothing but… momma’s boy? A coward? No… It didn’t matter any more. You no longer wanted anything to do with him. 

You found your room and  immediately began to shove your clothes into your bag, uncaring if they got crumbled. You were positive your toiletries were still in Illumi’s bathroom. “Fuck it..” You cursed, you could always buy more when you got back to the city. Just grab your things and go, no one was forcing you to stay here.

“(Y/n).” You heard the harsh voice of your now ex boyfriend. You turned around and went white. He was oozing bloodlust, you had only seen him like this a few times but it had never been directed at you. You swallowed and gripped your hands into tight fists. You would not let Illumi force you into submission.

“Illumi, please get out of my way.” You were forced out. It was scary seeing him like this, but you had to be brave, not to show him any weakness. “You can't leave me.  You really want to throw everything we have away?”  You scoffed at the hypocrisy of this man. “If you're so willing to cast me aside for your mother, then yes. I am.” You grab your bag and rush past him but he grabs your wrists.

“You should go to sleep, it's getting late.” He stated before pulling you out of your room and dragging you off in the direction of his room. “Illumi! Let go of me! I said I’m done!” he gripped your wrist tighter as you tried to pull away, even digging your feet into the floor to resist. “No you’re not, we are still together! Are you acting like a child because of this? Nothing has changed.”

“Nothing has changed?! You just agreed to make me a side hoe! All the while you get married to another and have kids with her!” You challenged, trying harder to pull away, dropping your bag so you could use your other hand to pull him away from you. “That's what you're worried about? Sure I’ll be married to another woman but my sights will always be on you. You and I can still have kids, don;t worry about that.”

“What? So your mother can take them away from me as soon as they're born?! Don’t make me laugh! I’m done wasting any more of my time and energy on you! I tried to do this for you, I tried to fight for you but you won’t do that for me, especially in the face of your controlling mother!” You barked.

That pissed him off. “Do NOT talk about my mother, do not bring my family into this. This is between you and me.” You scoffed at his response. “How can I not- actually, here look at this lovely letter you put on my tray this morning!” You grabbed the purple note and shoved it into his hands. He opened it and read it slowly.

“I never sent you this.” He said, which made you laugh. “Yeah, cause she planted it there. I was outside waiting for half an hour until Tsubone came and told me that the paper came from the notepad your mother had in her room. She has constantly set me up for failure and instead of siding with me, defending me you choose to bow down to her!” You pointed out.

“I do not bow down to my mother, you're being ridiculous. Not to mention you're giving yourself too much credit for being a victim. You can’t handle the pressure of being a Zoldyck. Perhaps I was wrong about you…” He was mocking you, so you would smack him with the truth.

“No Illumi, The only person who is wrong is you. Your mother has her nails so deep in you, you can’t even see it. Your nothing but a slave Illumi…to your family.. To your mother and to yourself. Your so trapped in your worker bee mindset, you can’t even see how FUCK UP you’ve become! I should of gotten the fuck out Heavans area if I had known a cowardly brian dead slave like you was gonna walk into my life-”

*SLAP*

“AGH!” You squealed as Illumi backhanded you across the face, sending your skidding across the floor, you felt dizzy at first. You couldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on. But you could hear Illumi’s footsteps get closer to you. “STOP! Get away from me! You monster!”

“Now…”

“Illumi! That's enough!” Barked the familiar voice of Zeno as he interrupted Illumi.

Finally your vision came to you as Zeno approached you two with Silva in tow. “Father, Grandfather.” Illumi acknowledged. You looked down at yourself and you were covered in your own blood. Illumi had broken your nose and your lip had been busted. The shock was only leaving and only then could you feel the pain Illumi had inflicted on you.

You couldn;t stop the flood of tears as you looked at the men you once loved. You could no longer recognise him. He had a violent tendency but never did you think he could or would hit you. Its like someone had ripped off a pair of rose coloured glasses from your face and made you look at the truth.

“Illumi, how much longer do you plan to dishonor our clan?!” Zeno barked. Illumi tilted his head dumbfoundedly. “What do you mean?” Silva had already gotten sick of all this drama happening in his house. “Kikyo already told us your agreement, what respectable woman is to sit back and let you treat her like this. It's bad enough you let Kikyo walk all over your relationship but raising your hand against her when she expressed the desire to leave?” 

“I was disciplining her, I thought that was necessary with one's wife.” Illumi argued before Zeno pushed past him. “Except she’s not yours. Not anymore.” Zeno offered his hand and you gratefully took it. “Tsubone, Amane.” Silva commanded as his two butlers  appeared. “Yes master Silva?” They said gracefully. 

“Take (Y/n) here and escort her to the airport, she wishes to leave.” Silva said, unfeeling.

“Yes sir.” Tsubone responded, taking your bag and taking your hand as Zeno passed you along. “Come now my dear, let's go.” She said comfortingly as Amane handed you a handkerchief for your face. You took it and allowed them to escort you out of the mansion.

****

“Is your nose ok?” Amane asked to help you down the mountain while you trained to keep awake, the smack took a lot out of you, the blood coming from your nose had stopped but you were still dizzy. “I think he broke my nose..” You sobbed

Tsubone let out a sad sigh. “I’m sorry you had to endure this, but I’m glad you found the courage to stand up to him.” You hummed acknowledgement. It was hard but in a way you needed to experience this. It was your first relationship so of course you didn’t see the red flags. Now you know better. Hopefully the nest man you meet will be nothing like Illumi-

“Mike!” Amane shouted. You looked up at the huge hound dog and paled. “He must have smelled your blood and came here!”

“Shit.” You cursed The two butlers in front of you. “(Y/n)! Stay back!” You actually backed up until Mike laid down and crawled on his belly towards you. Now if this had been a smaller dog, you would of found this adorable but with this big ass dog, you were fucking terrified.

“Oh, He’s not showing signs of aggression.” Tsubone noticed as they let  him pass. You backed into a tree and he cornered you. “S-Stop! N-Nice doggie…!” The dog sniffed you, around your lower torso, taking a nice long sniff. “Uh.. Is he gonna eat me..?” You squirmed as he got up and circled you almost protectively.

“No, but I don’t know why he’s acting like that. He only acts so friendly if it's one of the Zoldycks.” Tsubone commented as Amane came to retrieve you from the big dog. He had followed you to the testing gate and whined. It was nice to know only a few people in this place had your back but this was probably this last time you’ll see them or this place.

You shook your head to rid yourself of any doubt, as the testing gates were opened and you left the Zoldyck estate.

****

“Did you have to ruin the boy’s relationship?”

Kikyo didn’t notice her husband coming into her private chambers. She had been dressed for bed, wearing a silk nightdress and a sheer feather robe. Her hair was let down and the only thing she had yet to remove was her visor.

Her Husband was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed and his face contorted in a look of annoyance. “Ruin? I have no idea what you're on about dear, I simply showed the boy the truth.” She removed her pink lipstick, her favorite shade she wore daily.

“These actions of yours will have serious consequences Kikyo, have you thought about that?” He sneered approaching her vanity. He was angry, she could see he was trying to stop himself from roaring. “Honestly Silva, the girl would have never integrated into the family. She is too soft. Our new guests are girls trained from childhood to be the best of the best. They’ll do what they’re told. It's better this way for Illumi.”

“When has that boy even asked anything of us?” Silva questioned. That question put Kikyo off. “What? What do you mean?” She slowly stood up to stand face to face with her husband. She’s always known him to be unfeeling, it's how he has to be if he wants his children to be anything like him.

“For as long as I’ve known him, Illumi has always done what he told. Everything he has ever done has always been for the sake of the family. You and I both know that if it came down to it, he would die for this family-”

“Get to the point, Sliva!”

They were at a standstill with one another. Silva sighed, already fed up with the conversation. “The point is, you took away the only thing he wanted. If he wanted the perfect assassin bride, he would have come to us but no. He chose that girl.” Kikyo chuckled at Silva’s assumption. “Dear, Do you honestly think Illumi is going to throw a tantrum because I took one of his toys away? Don’t be foolish, he’s not a child.”

“He may not be a child, but he's a fully grown, cold blood killer who’s mentally unstable.” As soon as Silva spoke those words, Kikyo freaked out. “HOW DARE YOU! There is nothing wrong with him! All my sons are perfect. You’ll see, by tomorrow, he will have forgotten all about it.”

“ No Kikyo, by tomorrow, he will start to act out, he will fall so deep that not even you can pull him back up. Mark my words, this is only the beginning.” Silva stated before leaving his wife’s chambers.

****

Hey. Can we talk?

Can you please get over this tantrum? I want to see you.

Where are you right now? Are you meeting up with Hisoka?

You're not doing yourself any favors by dragging this out, talk to me.

I know you miss me, just talk to me and we can put this all behind us.

You know you’re in the wrong, I tried to help you.

My mother would have accepted you with open arms, you’re being too emotional.

Why are you not answering? You’re overreacting about all of this, I think you need professional help.

Why are you still ignoring me? Is it because I hit you? You brought that upon yourself.

Stop ignoring me.

Pick up your phone.

ANSWER ME.

STOP IGNORING ME.

Illumi stared down at his phone, his scream had been cracked. Why were you behaving like this? Won’t you be a good girl and come back to him? He had been messaging you on all your socials. Texting you, trying to facetime you, call you. He guessed you might have been upset so he set a few letters to your house along with a few bouquets of flowers and gifts.

How long has it been? Two? Three weeks since he last saw you. When he’s not on missions, he’s held up in his room, looking at his phone. He’s either trying to get through to you or looking at photos you two had taken together. He decided to take a break from contacting you and to look at your more recent pictures.

He stopped at the picture you had sent him. It was taken the morning before you left for his house. He was spooning you in bed and you put on a goofy face before taking a selfie. He remembered that morning all too well. You were so good for him. You were the best.

After that picture, you asked him for permission to suck his cock which he allowed. You looked so beautiful, using your mouth to pleasure him. After that, he tied your hands to the bedpost and ate you out. Afterwards you and him made breakfast. You sat at the table together in a comfortable silence, eating french toast and bacon. 

You two had gotten in the shower where you massaged shampoo into his scalp and went to work on his hair. He liked allowing himself to be vulnerable. Only in front of you though. He did the same for you and you two had relaxed in the bath together, allowing the minerals you had put in before to sink into your skins.

After a light yoga session, he had rubbed your feet to make sure they didn’t get sore. Afterwards you had asked his permission to kiss him, he granted it and you had crawled onto his lap to smooch him. He remembers holding your waist and grinding you against his clothed cock until he shoved you onto the couch and pumped a nice creampie into your pussy, filling you up nicely.

Why? Why did things have to end the way they did? Did you not understand everything he tried to do for you? Sure he would be married to another woman but that wouldn;t mean his feelings would change for you. He would never feel comfortable with another woman. Couldn’t you see you were the one for him?

He won’t be happy with anyone else.

“Illumi dear?” He heard the shy voice of his mother as she entered the room. She came to check in on him. Over the past few weeks, she had been distant. Too distant for her own liking. Never bothering to look at her, say hello when he comes home from a mission.

It's been a week since the woman she invited over had left. She had instructed them to do whatever they could to have Illumi fall in love with them, but not a single one was able to live up to her expectations. He always shut them out or ignored him. She told them to pack up and leave, that they would  try again in the future.

“Yes… Mother..?” He was tired. He’d never sleep. Maybe two to three times a week at best. The bags under his eyes were proof enough. Kikyo was startled at her son’s condition. “Illumi! What is going on!? This is no way to conduct yourself!” He was on the floor, in the dark. Simply staring at his phone.

She turned on the light and was even more appalled at what she saw. He had been covered in poorly wrapped bandages, bloody could be seen through his coverings and judging the shape of his body, he had lost weight. “Illumi! Look at yourself! You’re scaring me!” She marched over to him and pulled the phone out of his hand.

“Don’t-”

The only thing she saw was photos. Photos and videos of him and (Y/n). Some wholesome, some lewd. But altogether, they looked happy with one another. “Illumi..” She wanted to say more but he aggressively snatched the phone out of her hand. “Don’t go touching my belongings.” He growled.

“Illumi!” she cried as he stomped over to his bathroom and slammed the door. Looking around his room, it was in disarray. His sheets did not look clean, there were visible stains, certain stains she could easily recognise, being a married woman, she grabbed his duvet and threw it over his bed to cover them.

While doing that, she smelt a strong fragrance coming from them, noticing a purple perfume bottle on his nice stand, she grabbed it. It must have belonged to (Y/n). Illumi had been spraying it on his bed at night. She also noticed the perfume was from one of those lewd lingerie companies. typical.

“Illumi, please talk to me.” She said calmly, opening his bathroom door. He was standing over his sink, brushing his teeth, with a pink toothbrush... He turned to look at her, he had some pink fluffy headband pushing his hair back, on the sink was a punch of feminine looking facial products and tools. Even the hair brush was a shade of hot pink. “Illumi… Is that.. (Y/n)’s toothbrush you're using..?”

He didn’t say anything, only proceeded to slam the door in her face.

****

“I messed up.”

Kikyo admitted after storming into Silva’s personal chambers and sitting in the chair in front of him. Silva merely relaxed, a face of indifference on him as his hound snored. “I told you this would happen. This is only a taste of things to come. He will spiral out of control and there is nothing you can do about it.” He looked away from his wife.

Kikyo bit her nails, thinking. “There has to be a way to fix this… that girl is our only solution..” she scowled. As much as she didn’t want to admit it that girl was the only solution to fixing her son. “True, she might have been the solution.”

“Might?! Silva, I’ve seen the boy brush his teeth with HER toothbrush, using her tools and products. Hell, all he does when he’s home is look at pictures of her. I think it's safe to say she is the solution!” Why was her husband being like this? First he tells her that this girl and Illumi should be left alone and now he wants to avoid involving her?

“Kikyo, I won’t involve that girl any more. She’s already made up her mind she no longer wants anything to do with Illumi. Unless you’ve got a good reason to bring her back, then I don’t want you or anyone going after the girl.” Silva demanded. His words were absolute. Kikyo growled, storming out of his room.

She couldn’t have this continue. Her son’s sanity and dignity as an assassin was at stake. Those wounds on his body, they aren't self inflicted but she could tell he’s been slacking off. He no longer cares if he gets injured, he’s not upholding that standard of what a Zoldyck assassin should be.

She entered her room and grabbed her dial phone, punching in the numbers to the butler's quarters. “Hello?! Yes, Gotoh. Bring me Votu. I have a mission for him!”

****

“Well, well, well. It's been a while since you and I have seen each other~.”

You went to meet up with Hisoka in Yorknew after a few weeks of isolating in your apartment. You were dealing with what people called ‘The five stages of grief.’ The grief of your now dead romance with Illumi, you hadn’t told anyone yet but you figured you should tell Hisoka. You do plan on walking away from the partnership.

“Yeah, well forgive me magician, I was going through a bit of turmoil.” You sat down on the bar stool next to Hisoka. You were wearing a short shimmering silver dress, hoop earrings and 5 inch heels. He hummed in amusement, swirling his whiskey around in his glass before turning to the bartender. “A drink for her please, what will you be having~?” He asked You sighed before looking at the bartender. “I’ll have what he’s having.”

The bartender nodded. “So, Illumi told me you were behaving like a brat at his place~ But I wanted to get your side of the story~” You groaned at his name. Resisting the urge to rub your face, not wanting to smudge your makeup. “Do you want the long version or the short version?”  You asked.

“Don’t bore me with the details, short version.”

“Bascially, Illumi’s mother is the devil but Illumi sees her like some fucking angel. Hates me for no reason. Made it pretty fucking apparent when she invited five other hoes to be wife while they agreed I would be some mistress. So I said, fuck that shit, I’m out. Illumi got annoyed, didn’t want me to leave, so I called him and he hit me in the face. So yeah, I broke up with him.” You clapped your hands as the bartender put your drink in front of you. 

You took a much needed drink of your whiskey, letting out a sigh of relief. Looking back at Hisoka, he had a look of surprise. “What?” you asked. He in turn took a sip of his own drink. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that..” He remarked.

“What were you expecting?” You questioned, looking at the rack of liquor on the shelves. “I don’t know If I’m being honest, I’ve never met his family, he doesn;t like anyone contacting his family.” You two finished your drinks and ordered more. “So what will you do now? It's not like you can avoid him.” He noted.

“Actually, I can. I never want to see him. So, I’m ending the partnership…” You sighed, he raised his eyebrows. “What? Are you being serious?” He questioned. “Look Hisoka, You know I have nothing against you, I just don’t think I can ever be around Illumi again. I will be there for you if you ever need me, I owe you a lot.” You drank from your sugary cocktail as he chose another bourbon. 

“Well, it's your decision. I can’t force you. Are you here for the auction?” He changed the subject and you shook your head. “No, I just came here to talk to you.”

“Well that's good. I wouldn’t have gone to that auction if I were you.”

“Why do you mean?”

He used his fingers on the bar in a crawling motion. “Oh..” You knew what that meant. It meant he was up to no good with the Phantom troupe. “So what will you do now? Will you continue fighting in Heavens area?” You shook your head. “No, I’m done with Heavens area. For now anyway. I think I’m going to go join my dad and his team on the field. I’m a hunter so I’m gonna do my best to be like him-”

You felt a flood of pain enter your brain and you clutched the side of your head.

“Are you alright?” He asked as you took another sip of your cocktail. “I’m fine..” He just continued to stare at you. “What? Hisoka, you're kinda freaking me out.” You looked away, not wanting to face him. “Since when do you wear so much makeup?” You froze. “I.. uh.. Broke out.”

Your nose was fine, your lips too. But over the course of the last few weeks, your face broke out, acne covering  your forehead, cheeks and chin and body. You’ve been doing all you can to stop it but you know the reason why it's happening.

“(Y/n). Are you sick? Women’s troubles?” He asked quietly. You didn’t see any more reason to hide it from him.

“I’m pregnant.” You stated. 

Not loud enough for everyone to hear, just to reach Hisoka’s ears. He didn’t know how to react, his face was stone cold. “Did.. I hear that correctly?” You nodded. “Yeah. I went to the doctor to get a blood test two weeks ago which confirmed it.” Hisoka looked left and right before coming back over to you. “How far along are you?” he asked.

“Seven weeks.” You muttered. A serious expression painted his features. “If Illumi or the other Zoldycks find out-”

“Don’t worry, I’m going to book an appointment at a clinic in the federation of Ochima. I’m meeting up with my dad and his team for their next expedition. I’m going to abort it…” You said sadly, taking a last drink from your cocktail before ordering another one. “By your tone, you sound like you don’t want to.”

“I don’t know. But I can’t risk being hunted down by the Zoldycks of all people. Besides, if I did give birth to this child, it would resent its life. They would be trained like Illumi was and I don’t wish that upon anyone.” Hisoka hummed at your resolve. “I have to admit, Illumi always did have a few screws loose. I don’t think he would be proper father material anyways.”

It hurt you more than anything but Hisoka was right. Before you had visited the Zoldycks and got a true glimpse into what their lives are like, you dreamed of what your life would be like. Illumi always told you he wanted to start a family with you. You would dream of a nice happy home, children in your arms, Illumi coming home to greet you with a kiss everyday.

That dream had been shattered.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. My flight is this week so I probably won’t see you for a few months.”

“Shall we drink for new beginnings?” Hiskoa raised his glass, a smirk on his devilish face.

“Lets.” You clink your glass with his.

*****

“The girl is pregnant, madam.” Spoke Votu on the other end of the receiver.

“What?! Are you sure?” Kikyo huffed, sitting at her vanity, looking at herself in the vanity mirror, biting her nails. “Affirmative Madame.” Seven weeks but she discussed with Morow that she plans to abort the child once she reaches The Federation of Ochima.”

“I see.” She stopped biting her nails to straighten her hat. “Would you like any further action from me madam?” Votu asked, currently standing on the street outside the bar you were in, talking to Kikyo on the phone.

“Yes, I want you to tail that girl and give me any more updates. But before that, break into that clinic she got her blood work done and fax me those results. I need prove she is indeed with child and remember, do not mention a word about the abortion. Do you understand Votu?”

“Of course madame, I will take this with me to the grave.”

“Good.” She slammed the receiver back onto the base of the dial phone.

****

“Silva!” Kikyo cried as she burst into the dining room where her father, husband, and Kalluto were currently eating breakfast in silence. First thing Kikyo did that morning was go to Milluki’s room where the fax machine was kept for Zoldyck intelligence only. He was a bit surprised to see her come in so early.

After she confirmed with Votu that the results he sent her were correct, she rushed to her husband’s side.

“What is it now, wife?” He asked, slightly annoyed. She put the papers in front of him so he may read it himself. “What is this Kikyo..?” She slammed her hands to show her authority. “Positive Pregnancy test results Silva! What else?”

“Are you guys having another baby?” Zeno asked curiously and worried.

“Am I going to have another sibling, mother?” Kalluto pipped, eyes full of hope.

“What? No! Don’t be ridiculous.” Kikyo fumed while pointing her finger at a certain section of the page. “Look there.” Silva looked to where his wife had directed him. “(Y/n) (L/n)” Silva read out loud. The room went dead silent. Everyone stopped eating. “(Y/n) is pregnant with Illumi’s baby. Is that enough reason to bring her back here?”

“How do you even know this in the first place?”  Silva interrogated. 

“I sent one of the butlers to do a bit of recon work on her. You said it yourself, you won’t bring her back with a good reason, I had to dig up whatever I could.” That caused Silva to sneer. “And how do I know these results aren't fake? For all I know you had someone forge these.”

“Do you believe I would go that far? As far as anyone is concerned, she could have at least a million photos of Illumi on her phone she could give out to blacklist hunters, Each one giving her a million jenny! Jeopardizing Illumi’s anonymity? Why would I fabricate something like this?!” Kikyo argued.

At the end of the table, Zeno shrugged. “She does have a point, Silva.”

The man folded his muscled arms, going over all the information that he had just received. “Where is this butler you had watch the girl?” Kikyo in turn folded her arms. “Votu. Is currently watching (Y/n), His last report told me she flew back to her apartment in Padokea and is ending her apartment lease with her landlord. She’s already packed up and on her way to the Federation of Ochima.” 

“I see..” Silva was still debating it in his mind so Kikyo decided to give him the extra nudge.

“Look Silva! That girl is pregnant with a Zoldyck child! We can not allow her to walk around with Illumi’s bastard. This will put a serious stain on our reputation and honor if enemies are found out. It would smear our very name. We will look no more like lowly, unruly mercenaries.”

After that, Silva stood up and faced his wife. “Okay then. I’ve made my decision. While I do not want this girl involved in any more petty drama you have going on with, We can not ignore that she is carrying our grandchild. Inform Illumi and tell him we will allow him to go get her back.”

She nodded her head and as she exited the hall, she had a malicious smirk on her face.

****

As she wandered down the hallway to illumi’s room, it finally snapped in her head. She was going to be a grandmother. A grandmother. It was one thing having your own kids but having them give birth to their own children. Kikyo felt elated, cheery, happy. She never once thought what having grandchildren was like but now one thing was for certain.

She wants them and there was no way you were going through that abortion.

Before she entered Illumi’s room, she pinched her cheeks and thought sad thoughts. “Killua leaving home. Killua making friends. Killua abandoning me.” She quietly chanted to herself before she dramatically bursted into Illumi’s room without a care on what he was doing. “Illumi!”

He was on his bed, going through his phone, looking at pictures of her before his mother burst in, gracefully falling to the floor with tears flowing past her visor. “Oh Illumi! Illumi my son!” he cried. He didn’t care. He didn’t think he could care any more. Not about his mother, Hisoka, hell not even Killua. Not unless (Y/n) was with him-

“It's (Y/n) my dear! Oh my goodness Illumi, My poor heart can no longer take this suffering!”

Well, that got his attention. “Mother? What's wrong? What happened to (Y/n)?” He put his phone down and got off his bed, crouching beside his mother. She in turn grabbed his shoulders. “Illumi! (Y/n) is seven weeks pregnant! Pregnant you here! And we have no doubt that the child is yours!”

Illumi froze, for weeks you’ve been ignoring his calls, his text and all other forms of contacting you. These past few weeks, he has felt empty without you by his side. Not being able to touch you, hear your voice. He even started to regret hitting you. And then his mother comes in and tells him you are with child. His child. He didn’t know what else to say, other than-

“Well, yes. We had sex almost everyday.”

Kikyo went silent, looking at him with an awkward stare before going back to bawling her eyes out. “That's not even the worst thing! She plans to abort the pregnancy! She wishes to deprive me of my first grandbaby!” In a second, Illumi’s emotions went from hopeful to murderous.

“....What..?” His bloodlust began to ooze everywhere, had she not seen him like that a million times, she might have been scared. Illumi was mad, furious. His teeth chattered with pure rage. First you abandon him out of ill temper and now you want to kill his baby? Kikyo grabbed her son by the face to have him look into her visor.

“Listen to me Illumi and Listen well. Your father and grandfather are under the assumption she intends to keep the baby. If they knew the truth, they would not have told me to tell you to go and drag her back here. Do you understand what I am saying Illumi?”

He clenched his teeth together as his bloodlust eased. He knew what he must do.”

“Crystal.” He sneered.

“Good, I have a butler tailing her to The federation of Ochima, I’ll give you his contact and let him know your-”

“Mother.” Illumi interrupted. Kikyo stopped in her speech as Illumi gave her a serious look. “Why are you doing this mother? I thought you disliked (Y/n). Why are you telling me this..?”

“Me? Dislike (Y/n)? No son! You have it all wrong, I was simply trying to protect you from a girl who would be the right match for you, she is a soft heart girl so you can see why I was skeptical of her. But now that I know she’s with child, this completely changes everything! I’m more than happy if you want her!” Kikyo lied through her lips. At this point, she would do anything to get her son to go along with her plans.

“I understand mother.” Before he went to stand up, Kikyo pulled him back down “But Illumi, there's something we need to discuss. You know how (Y/n) misbehaved when she came here. I don’t mind if she’s not an assassin but she must learn how to be a subservient and obedient wife. Promise me when she gets here, we’ll start on her training.”

It was that word that made him agree to it instantly. Wife. Kikyo just told him he’s allowed to make (Y/n) his wife. This is what he has wanted since the minute he knew he was in love with (Y/n). His smile was unnatural and creepy. Like a specter haunting his unaware victims, his words were absolute.

“Yes Mother.”

*****

“So, you’re telling me, you go out, you met some stranger and you decide to have unprotected sex with him?! (Y/n), I thought I warned you all about this!” Your father lectured while you sat at the table, drinking some hot chocolate. “I’m sorry dad but I was drunk! We were both drunk! Neither of us thought to use a condom and by the time I woke up, he was already gone!” you lied.

Now, Embarrassingly enough, you didn’t tell your father about your year long relationship with Illumi. One reason was because you didn’t know how he’d react to you being involved romantically with one of the most infamous killers in the world and two, Illumi wanted to wait to reveal your relationship until his parents approved of yours and gave you their blessings.

It's ironic now that you think about it. He was more concerned with his parents' approval of you then his with your father. “Whatever, what’s done is done.” He sat down beside you, running his hands through his hair. You two were in his tent on his next expedition. He met you at the airport where your two caught up. He brought you to the expedition site where everyone celebrated your return. 

You didn’t want to ruin the night by telling of your ‘So called’ one night stand and the abortion you planned on having but you couldn’t keep it from him forever. “So, when is your procedure?” He asked, taking a sip of his own hot chocolate. “Tomorrow night, I booked it in advance before I came here.”

He scratched his neck and sighed. “Listen, I’m not mad. Just a bit disappointed. I hope you learn from this and to not be so careless anymore.” He stated. You nodded. “I won’t dad. I promise.” He smiled and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

He took your empty cups and brought them to the basin where all the dirty dishes were kept. “In a few weeks, let's say you and I take a trip to the world tree. See if you can finally beat me this time.” You closed your eyes and laughed cockily. “You're on, old man!”

You hear something heavy drop to the floor.

You open your eyes and the world itself has slowed down. Nothing felt real at that moment. Your father lay on the ground, his throat slit too deeply to recover. He didn’t make a sound as all the life drained from his eyes. He went too quickly. Too quietly.

It was then reality hit you.

Your father was not moving.

“NOOOO!” You screamed at the top of you and you pushed the chairs out of your way to grab your father’s still body. “NO! No dad please! You can’t leave me! Not now! Please dad, don’t do this to me! Dad! DAD!” You screeched at the top of your lungs. You pressed your hand against his throat to stop the bleeding but it was all in vain, but you didn’t give up.

“EDITH! Please someone! Anyone please! Come help us please! Dad’s hurt! EDITH WHERE ARE YOU!?” Your continued screeching for the team's medic or just anyone to come help you save your dad. 

“I’m afraid Edith is ‘out’ at the moment.” You heard the all too familiar voice of your ex.

Illumi walked into the tent, you could see the blood on his fingernails as he looked down condescendingly and furiously. In that moment, you knew he knew. No one had to tell but you knew he knew. Did Hisoka rat you out? No, he couldn’t have done that. Hisoka is many things but a snake he isn’t, only not to those he’s actually friends with.

“Illumi…. Illumi please don’t do this to me..! I’m sorry! I’ll do whatever you want! Please just help my dad!” You were in full blown tears, having a proper hysterical fit. You heaved your chest quickly and viciously, were you going to die? It certainly felt like it. Your dad is badly hurt and he isn’t moving and illumi is angry with you. What should you do?

“(Y/n), You should calm down, all this stress of yours is not good for the baby.” He kneeled down beside you and put his hand on your belly, gently rubbing it. “Illumi! I-ill-illumi! My dad! My dad! Please help him-!”

“Yes, don’t worry. I’ll make sure your father is okay. You know you can depend on me.” Illumi smiled, making you look at him. In that moment, you knew everything would be okay. Illumi was there for you. Of course he would. He was your Illumi.

You knew you could trust him, even as he stuck a needle into the back of your neck to make you rest.

“Good girl.”

*****

You woke up with a terrible headache, your vision was blurry and you felt cold. Not unbearably cold but a chill. Thankfully whatever you were laying on was comfortable enough. Although, your arms did ache a lot.

“Ah, You’re finally awake.” You heard the voice of the devil. Your eyes shot open, even though your vision was still a bit blurry, you saw none other than Kikyo standing beside you. You looked around, you were in a holding cell of some sorts. You went to move your arms but they wouldn’t budge. You looked up and saw that your wrists had been chained to the wall.

“What is this!? What's happening!? Where’s Illumi? Where’s my DAD!?” you screamed, struggling in the bed they put you in. Looking down, they had put you in a white cotton nightdress.You kicked your legs, wanting to get free but not matter what you did, you couldn’t free yourself. You even tried to use nen but nothing worked.

“Are you finished with your tantrum? Because if you are, I’ll answer your questions.” She smiled smugly. You stayed still. You had no idea what more this woman wanted from you. “To answer your first two questions. We have placed you in solitary confinement. We became aware that you were pregnant with Illumi’s baby and decided you're much better off with us.”

You huffed sadly, looking up at the devious woman. “But why? I wasn’t planning to keep it, why go through all this trouble?” She seemed annoyed at your question, slamming her fan against her palm. “Because! You're a filthy little ingrate who sunk her paws too deep into my son! It's like he can’t function without you correctly and that became a problem! Besides, you are the womb that's holding my grandchild. I can’t simply ignore that.”

You swallowed but your throat was dry. Your sweat had made you cold and palpable fear built up in you.

“And to answer your previous question. Illumi is gone but he’ll be back in a bit. He brings you some things to make your stay comfortable, you can't have too much stress, it's bad for my grandbaby.” You were disgusted. This woman kept talking to you as if you weren’t human. Like you were only an incubator for Illumi’s baby, it sickened you.

“And for your last question, hmm! He’s gone, flew away to heaven to join your dear mother!” She said happily. You froze. So that wasn’t a dream? But that’s impossible! Illumi said he would help him, how could he do this. “But don’t worry dear, from now on, Silva will be your father and I will be your mother. I’ve decided you're much better off raising Illumi’s baby then off on missions, it's all you’ll be good for anyway.” She smiled, like it was an average tea time chat.

You started hyperventilating as she started to rant about how she’s excited for the arrival of her grandchild, hoping it would be a girl, what names she picked out, what your wedding will be like, what your dress would be like. This woman had your whole life mapped out for you and there was no longer anything you could do.”

“(Y/n), are you alright?” Illumi’s voice appeared as he walked inside to join you. At that moment, you lost it.

“NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU LIAR! YOU COWARD! YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP HIM! WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP HIM! MURDERER! MURDERER!” You cried. Hoping anyone, anyone to come help you. But unfortunately, you were all alone in this.

“Illumi! Your wife is misbehaving!”

“I do believe she might have what some doctors call hysteria.”

“Oh! Well as her husband, you should see to it that she’s taken care of then!”

Kikyo smirked as she closed the cell door and Illumi walked towards you and put his hand up your skirt. Kikyo revealed in your screams as they traveled down the corridor.

Ah yes, What a fine daughter you will be.

For any of you wondering, I took inspiration from the new horror game, the quarry for (Y/n)'s nen ability and I've already posted this on on my A03 account if you want to check it out.

TheRedHarlotYouBreathFor - A03 account