To Be Fond Of Dancing Was A Certain Step Towards Falling In Love.

TDT blue/noah kiss 💔

just musing about how niko was one of edwin's biggest unconditional supporters and gentle guides in his self-discovery of his sexuality, and i think it's so interesting that we still never saw edwin confide in her overtly about his feelings for/attraction to charles, though he easily could have at any time.

before the cat king ever shapeshifts into monty or charles to tempt edwin to realization, niko's there to tell edwin that it's okay for two boys to like each other, to let him know it's okay if he noticed monty when they first met, or if he enjoyed the idea of monty liking him; and she plainly tells him that he's completely allowed to want explicit things with another boy.

they talk about edwin's feelings and desires multiple times - he admits to her he's never kissed anyone, and even that the idea of kissing has become appealing to him. she asks him, does he want to kiss monty? does he want to kiss the cat king? but she never asks him directly, does he want to kiss charles? charles is the elephant in the room of that conversation, so to speak; the only other boy they know, the one she knows edwin is actually closer with than anyone else.

but she doesn't ask edwin about charles.

i think it's actually one way niko shows her love and care for edwin, her perceptive understanding of his boundaries, and her respect for his comfort, that she never pushes him to open up to her about this most vulnerable and newly-developing aspect of his truth—that his feelings are for charles—who is already the most important person in his life, and thus so much more life-alteringly consequential to him. even though she hasn't known edwin a long time she seems to grasp that he needs both the push and the personal space to come to his deepest realizations, even as she opens the door for him to come to them.

(i did consider for a split-second that maybe she never realizes it's charles that edwin's in love with, but i vetoed that thought immediately because... edwin just seems too deeply unsubtle for that to ring true. monty can see he's been passed over for charles. the cat king knows it immediately and asks about their 'special friendship,' and not just because he can literally read edwin's desires. crystal is going through amnesia and an identity crisis, and she still clocks that edwin and charles are like a married couple. so it only makes sense that niko can see it as well.)

plus, niko's got excellent reading comprehension, by her own admission; and she and edwin bond over both being great, astute detectives—getting to the bottom of a case is a love they share. and so i just think it's neat that between niko and edwin, the conversation about charles seems to remain deliberately unspoken even when it could easily become overt.

instead she speaks to edwin about charles in metaphors. she starts their conversation about physical intimacy and romance specifically with drawing edwin's attention to the red and blue starfish. "isn't it romantic? they're in love." they proceed to talk about monty, and about the cat king, but i doubt either she or edwin could fail to notice the color symbolism there. and when edwin tries to get scientific about it, she reminds him, "luckily, love requires no logic." and finally she gives him the red sea glass, for courage. courage to help him come to terms with what—and whom—he really wants, whoever it could be.

and in the end... edwin tells niko, "i did actually tell the boy i like that i like him." this is directly after niko tells edwin she's sorry monty turned out to be an evil spy crow and she and edwin commiserate about how things with monty didn't work out for him. and obviously, it was never the cat king edwin really liked. so, just like that, through process of elimination, edwin can only be talking about charles. and even then, they never say his name. they never have to.

i just think there's something awfully soft about how edwin's feelings for charles are first so deeply ingrained and natural to him as to be something he had to be woken to rather than something that happened to him suddenly. then once he was awake to what he felt and wanted, there's something i find lovely about the deep bond niko has with him, that she understands and honors his need to speak around his feelings for charles while holding space for him to still share them with her in his way. something about how charles is so deeply loved that it is easily understood, that he is there in the conversation without his name ever needing to be spoken.

sometimes I think about Neil’s 4 minute mile and my jaw drops that we don’t talk about it that often, for reference only 23 high school students in the US have ran a 4 minute mile since 1964 😭😭

jack harkness rose tyler & the doctor are like the world’s most fucked up polycule and yet I wish every day we got more of them together. throw mickey in there for the hell of it its so funny. jack is like “we’re all bffs but also you two are in love with each other but also I’m desperately in love with both of you” and rose is like “i flirt for fun & as an expression of affection. because i’m young and recovering from an abusive relationship i have trouble quantifying my existing romantic feelings. i’d make out with either or both of you at the drop of a hat. it’s so great that we’re all friends :)” and the doctor is like “i am in love with rose tyler i want to spend the rest of my lives with her she is everything. however i am a monster and i destroy everything i touch so instead i will be fucking jack harkness on the tardis floor”. and meanwhile mickey just wants them to meet up with him on time for once

I love drawing and writing

except for like the drawing and writing parts

Anything’s better than the 1450s

portable boyfriend

charles and edwins disguises look so married and now I can't stop thinking about some random guy trying to connect with charles in his disguise over 'I hate my wife' jokes and charles goig on a wild tangent about how much he loves his wife and how she's his favorite person in the world and getting really protective because internally he's like: that's not his wife that's his best friend but if he WAS his wife he would love him so much

and then he would simply not get the implications of that and go about his day like "wife successfully defended, friendship successfully friended, job officially jobbed 😃👍🏻"

do you see my vision?