How Are My Sweetie Pees

How are my sweetie pees

More Posts from Theshadowblueleaf and Others

5 years ago

anyone else remember being like 13 years old and watching that scene in how to train your dragon (2010) where hiccup carefully navigates the maze of lines toothless has drawn between them without breaking or stepping on any of them and with his back to toothless and eyes shut to demonstrate how he’s willing to put total faith in him not to harm him or run away and to show humility and a desire to establish a natural bond of mutual trust instead of the arrogance to try to force toothless to submit to his will and hearing the music crescendo and fade into silence as he finally crosses the last obstacle so that they’re standing mere inches from one another, tension built on years of bad blood between their two races, so immense it’s almost like a physical barrier, separating them, and after what feels like forever toothless presses his nose gently into hiccup’s outstretched palm and it fits perfectly like it was made solely for that specific purpose, and feeling all the hairs on your neck stand up and a stifling sensation that brought actual tears to your eyes rise in your throat as it touched something profound and full of unspeakable yearning inside you

Anyone Else Remember Being Like 13 Years Old And Watching That Scene In How To Train Your Dragon (2010)
5 years ago

Sometimes people like to write things about florist’s shops.  Here are two things you need to know, the most egregiously wrong things.

1. It makes no fucking sense to sketch out a bouquet before you make it.  Every individual flower is different in a way that cannot really be adjusted the way other building materials can be adjusted, and each individual bouquet is unique.  Just put the fucking flowers together.

2. No one — in months and months of working at the flower shop — has ever cared what the flower/color of the flower means.  No one’s ever asked.  It’s just not something people tend to care about outside of fiction and it’s certainly not something most florists know.  You know what florists know?  What looks good and is thematically appropriate.

Here’s an actual list of the symbology of flowers, as professionals use it:

Yellow – for friends, hospitals Pink – girls, girlfriends, babies, bridesmaids Red – love Purple – queens White – marriage and death (DO NOT SEND TO HOSPITALS) Pink and purple – ur mum Red, orange, and yellow – ur mum if she’s stylish Red, yellow, blue – dudes and small children Blue and white – rare, probably a wedding Red and white – love for fancy bitches

Here are what the flowers actually mean to a florist:

The Fill It Out flowers:

Carnations – fuck u these are meaningless filler-flowers, not even your administrative assistant likes them, show some creativity Alstroemeria – by and large very similar to carnations but I like them better Tea roses – cute and lil and come several to a stalk, a classy filler flower Moluccella laevis – filler flower but CHOICE Delphinium – not as interesting as moluccella but purple so okay I guess Blue thistle – FUCK YEAH, some fucking textural variety at last!  you’re getting this for a dude, aren’t you? Chrysanthemums – barely better than carnations but better is still better Gladiolus – ooh, risky business, someone understands the use of the Y-axis, very good

Focal points:

Long-stem roses – yeah whatever Lilies – LBD, looks good with everything, get used as often as possible Hydrangeas – thirsty fuckers, divas of the flower world and rightly so, treat them right and they make you look good Gerbera daisies – the rose’s hippie cousin, hotter but no one admits it Peonies – CHA-CHING, everybody’s absolute favorite but you need guap Orchids – if this isn’t for a wedding you’re probably trying too hard but they’re expensive so keep ordering them

You know what matters?  THE CUSTOMER’S BUDGET.  THAT’S TELLING.

-$20 – if you’re not under 12, fuck off, get your sugar something else $30 – good for bouquets but an arrangement will be lame $40 – getting there, there’s something that can be done with that.  you can get some gerbs or roses with that and not have them look stupidly solo. $50 to $70 – tolerable $80 – FINALLY.  It sounds elitist but this really is the basic amount of money you should expect to spend on an arrangement that matters.  That’s your Mother’s Day arrangement.  You’re probably not going to spend $80 on a bouquet. $90 to $130 – THE GOOD SHIT, you’re likely to get some orchids $130+  – Weddings and death.  This amount of money gets you a memorial arrangement or a handmade bridal bouquet.  Don’t spend this on a Mother’s Day or a Babe I Love You arrangement, buy whosits a massage or something.

Miscellaneous:

Everything needs greening and if you don’t think that you’re an idiot. 

As a new employee, when you start making arrangements, you can’t see the mistakes you’re making because you’re brand new and you’re learning an art form from the ground up.

With a few exceptions customers don’t have a clear plan in mind.  They want you to develop the bouquet for them.  They want something that will delight their little sweetbread but you’re lucky if they know that person’s favorite color, let alone flower.

Flower shops don’t typically have every kind of flower in every kind of color.  Customers generally aren’t assed about that.  Most people don’t care about the precise shade of the rose or having daffodils in July, because they’re not boning up on flower language before they buy.  That would imply that they’ve got a clear bouquet in mind and, again, they don’t.

Being a florist is essentially a lot like what I imagine being a mortician is about.  You’re basically keeping dead things looking good for as long as possible.  You keep the product in the fridge so it doesn’t rot and look horrible by the time the family gets a whack at it, and in the meanwhile you put it in a nice container.

Anyway that’s flowers.

5 years ago
Shippy Fic Tropes: Tag Yourself

shippy fic tropes: tag yourself


Tags
6 years ago
Yooo Everybody. My Mom And I Were Goofing Around And Found This Seriously FUCKED UP Site. All Your Information,

yooo everybody. my mom and i were goofing around and found this seriously FUCKED UP site. all your information, (phone number, nam, address even) is available for 2.99. like everything. please watch this video on how to remove it. (im not sure if it’s there for minors, but if you’ve ever owned/rented a house you’re definitely there. it’s worth checking it out to make sure.)

video on how to remove information. : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPFLagxnDsA

fucked up website: http://www.spokeo.com/

also, if you’ve lived in more than one place/state it has you multiple times, remove all of your profile things. (it had my mom 4 times, all over our state. even from when she lived in a house 9 years ago.)

psa over.

6 years ago

Me: so what’s romantic love feel like?

Someone: you just know

Me:

image
6 years ago

I LIKE

I LIKE

BIG BOYS

I LIKE

itty bitty boys

I LIKE

MISSISSIPI BOYS

I LIKE

INNER CITY BOYS

I LIKE

I LIKE THE PRETTY BOYS WITH A BOW TIE

Get your nails did let em blow dry

I LIKE

I LIKE A BIG BEARD

I LIKE

I LIKE A CLEAN FACE

I don’t discriminate come and get a taste

I LIKE

FROM THE PLAY BOYS

I LIKE

TO THE GAY BOYS

You my fave boys go and slay boys!!

5 years ago
Moodboard
Moodboard
Moodboard
Moodboard
Moodboard
Moodboard
Moodboard
Moodboard
Moodboard

moodboard

6 years ago

rb if you bully cishets who say they don’t agree with the lgbt

6 years ago

anyone remember that weirdly accurate color oracle test that somehow knew you as if it had been your therapist for the past 5 years

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Gods little mistake <3He/It - 22 - 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

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