*LET'S PLAY A GAME*

Ja' te' ri' pr' is bi' ish

Hating black people is only racist if you don't hate everyone else. I support authoritarian police efforts not out of racism but out of a broad and opportunistic hatred for all of humanity.

Bad at math: Dyscalcula

Bad at reading: Dyslexia

Bad at statistics: Religious

One time I was working on a system I invented and when I got to a problem I didn't yet understand I instinctively said "well I'm not an expert on this subject" only to immediately realize "Wait, I'm the only expert"

Someone should write a enemies to lovers fanfic between Hitler and Netanyahu meeting in hell as they state their beliefs to each other and realize they aren't so different.

Start a story with the exact number of days since the start of a specific war then never mention it again: "Just two months and eight days since the fateful moment of the start of the Vietnam war... I got fired. In California"

A little life hack from my time in high school: Copy and paste every factual statement from a Wikipedia article into Google and cite the first webpage that agrees as your source.

CERTIFIED laziest essay writing technique!

If murder only counts if it's out of hatred (Christianity) does that mean fetish serial killers aren't murderers if they just do it for sex?

I think all voters must be required to read the bible. That way no religious human will have the capacity to vote.

Forgot to mention shouting: "READ THE BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!"