Literally What Happened Wdym

dude does anyone else have like…certain people that make them dysphoric ???

like i have this one friend — great dude, we’ve been friends since kindergarten, — but sometimes i find myself avoiding him bcuz he’s known me so long before i even realized i was trans, and since it’s relatively new i feel like he still sees me as a girl.

and obviously i don’t think it’s intentional, slip ups are fairly common and expected. plus, he’s never been homophobic or transphobic ever, he’s a part of the lgtbqia+ community himself. but the aura i get from him is just….kinda odd sometimes???

idk, does anyone else experience this? bcuz i feel like im sort of losing my mind.

DONT LIKE, REBLOG

so people who do this may see it.

The growing problem of "they" for trans people

Something I've noticed growing more common in my life recently has been people using exclusively "they" when referring to binary trans people who don't use "they"

Why is this a problem?

Using "they" when referring to someone when you don't know is seen as "better" in a lot of spaces now, which I can agree with as you don't know what their actual pronouns are. The problem I've noticed is that when meeting a trans person, a lot of people seem to default to "they" even after being told what pronouns they actually prefer. This can be for a lot of reasons, but the most common ones I hear are "I didn't want to assume" and "its not misgendering, they is neutral!"

Example situation

Person A meets person B, a trans woman. A doesn't know B's pronouns and so refers to B as "they." B corrects A, saying she prefers "she," but A continues to say "they" because its gender neutral. However, A does not do the same to cis women.

Do you see the problem now?

The use of exclusively "they" on trans people but not cis people, no matter your excuse, shows that you don't really see them as what they identify as and is quite transphobic since you're literally ignoring their identity and not seeing them as how they want to be seen.

"Okay, what should I do?"

Simple, just ask them their pronouns and then ACTUALLY USE THEM!! If he says he, DONT USE EXCLUSIVELY THEY! If she says she, DONT USE EXCLUSIVELY THEY! If they say they, well. yeah, use they, obviously. If xe say neopronouns and you don't know how to use those, just ask! If any part of someone's identity confuses you, just fucking ask them instead of assuming, for the love of god, and once they tell you, don't ignore what they said.

That's all. Just please stop calling people who don't use "they" by that.

Edit:

I got this comment and thought I should clarify and add on some MORE things you should avoid doing now that this post has aged a bit, and I've had more time to think!

Please do not attack this person, i dont think they meant it in any bad way

Clarification on the term 'misgendering'

While yes, 'gender' does not directly tell you someones pronouns or what terms they're comfortable with, but misgendering doesn't only mean calling a man a woman or a woman a man. Misgendering is usually thought to only mean using a trans person's assigned sexs' pronouns or deadnaming, but it's actually more than just that, it includes what terms you use for them, how you group them, and what societal expectations you put onto them based on their assigned sex, not just their gender.

Other things you should avoid

* Obviously, these won't apply to every situation. These are just general rules to follow UNTIL YOU KNOW THE PERSON. Once they tell you what they're comfortable with, then do what they ask, not what some random tumblr post says

Calling all gender non-conforming people 'it'

Deadnaming, obviously

Using gendered pronouns for a non-conforming person

Arguing with someone over the validity of their identity

Automatically introducing someone as trans

Assuming someone is out to other family or friends

Using incorrectly gendered terms, including when referring to a group

Exclusively using gender neutral terms/compliments

Edit 2:

TLDR: Don't say, "But some people use it/its!" and read the paragraph directly above the numbered list.

Stop telling me that some people use it/its, I already know this. I used it/its at one point, and many of my friends do. As i said in the paragraph litrrally directly before, these won't apply to every situation!! Please stop trying to correct me when I already said that it's not going to be universal and to follow the person's wishes once you know them. Its making me feel like a bad person despite the fact i started it with that clarification. It's literally in the paragraph directly above your complaint. I was referring to people who use it/its exclusively when referring to gender non-conforming people who don't use it/its, instead of the persons actual pronouns. Just read.

my ratatouille au has been quickly misinterpreted and derailed by one of my friends

…sigh….

…

…

i don’t hate the idea, though

interesting concept

10/10

wait, wait, wait; bsd fandom. hear me out.

a skk ratatouille au where dazai is linguini and chuuya is colette.

(i’m not sure who’d remy would be in this situation? perhaps atsushi?)

Take this little Brutus doodle i did in math class.

OHHHH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS LITERALLY IN THE PLAYLIST I HAVE FOR THEM

YOU GET IT

Drake? Plum peach? You mean snakes by McCafferty?

reblogging this so i remember it exists

The Dazai Osamu dress up game is up!! I hope you have fun dressing up the bandage man!

itch.io

Dazai Osamu Dress Up by featherphoenix

Wanna play the Chuuya version? Click below!

itch.io

Nakahara Chuuya Dress Up by featherphoenix

Dress up game for Bungou Stray Dogs character Nakahara Chuuya.

saw this and immediately thought of ranpoe

official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate

Like/reblog if you think that you don't need to medically transition to be transgender

just went into a public men’s restroom for the first time as a person under 18 (i’ve gone in singles, but never ones with multiple stalls before)

feelin’ good.