Sometimes it's hard to move away from pain because it just gets familiar and "comfortable" despite how much it hurts us. And it may also be the only thing that connects us to what brought us pain in the first place (especially if it's a connection/loss). In our subconscious mind, the idea of healing may feel scary: what will be of me without this pain? What will I do? It's true that maybe our pain and "secure/known" current situation helps us think we are safe as per how things are, and we are also saving ourself from the chance of getting hurt in other ways, but is it really worth the amount of mental and physical hurt it brings to our present and future self? I hope you find ways to bring yourself compassion and find the strength to move on from that, even if it feels scary to leave a "comfort zone" for a totally unknown one. You'll find a new way to balance yourself in it and find a new safety in it too, I promise. It won't be bad. You deserve to feel good and at peace. And to heal.
“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.”
— Andrew Carnegie
Admit to yourself that you want things.
Admit to yourself that you're hungry and then don't settle for less than your fill of life.
Just because they’re nice to you, doesn’t mean they value you. When you value something, you deeply understand it’s worth. It’s precious and means the world to you. If someone values something, they take good care of it. They’ll check up on it, make sure it’s needs are met and keep it safe.
"انتبه للمسرّات الصغيرة خلال اليوم، كن شخصًا شاكرًا ومُمتنًا لكل النعم حتى تلك التي تبدو كأنها جزء من اليوم، أصوات عائلتك وضحكاتهم، تلذذك بطعامك، قدرتك على رسم أهدافٍ جديدة، حواراتك الحنونة مع الأصدقاء، الشعور المُريح عند استعدادك للنوم، صحتك، كُن شاكرًا لأن أيامك مُحاطة بالنعم."
i think I like to just sit and drink coffee while reading
anyway I love things like having independence, being intelligent, taking pride in my skills, not feigning incompetence, referring to myself as a woman instead of a girl, aging unapologetically, having pores, stretch marks, grey hairs, wrinkles and body fat, listening to my body's needs, eating as much as I need to satisfy my hunger, being bare-faced, wearing comfortable clothes, etcetera
"وحين تموت خذ معك فأسا لتكسر باب الفردوس إن أردت الدخول فليس لباب الفردوس مفتاح. لا مفتاح ولا بواب، المفتاح الوحيد هو الفأس .. لا تنظر إليّ برعب أيها الراهب الصغير والفقير والطيب. لقد قال الكتاب المقدس الشيء نفسه: إن الرجال العنيفين قد هيمنوا على السماء بالقوة"
New York Artist Neke Carson riding his Atomic Bicycle, 1970
Tony Hoagland, from “Dickhead”, Donkey Gospel