Duos Giving Traumatised X ✨️traumatised✨️

pics of me if you even care

Huevember day 6: Ghost 🧠

biting someone's muzzle is a love language

theyre madly in love they want each other dead theyre trapped together in an endless cycle theyre divorced theyve been married for 25 years they know nothing about each other theyre each the only one who truly understands the other. i didnt say their name but they popped into your head didnt they

i just found out about one of the most powerful adhd tools i've ever seen online. i think i'll actually use this one in real life. holy shit

features:

Magic ToDo, which helps you break down tasks into smaller tasks

Formalizer, which helps you adjust your tone depending on your situation - it can make you sound more or less formal, or more or less decisive/clear

Judge, which assesses your tone to help you understand how you're coming across, or you could put in someone else's text to see what it thinks they meant

Estimator, which can help you guess how long a certain task is going to take you

and last but not least, the Compiler, which takes an amorphous braindump and magically rearranges it into a list of tasks, which can then be sent to the Magic ToDo list and broken down into more managable pieces!

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to

quick what is everyone doing right now

joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends"

I never told you what i do for a living

same fate