Funny Story. Due To A Very Strange Series Of Events, A Number Of People Are Now Convinced That I'm The

That would indeed be awesome. My first thought was that Melora would be the most competent of the siblings because of her better track record, but unless I’m mistaken, Amr and Loholt were pretty young when they died and never got much of a chance to prove themselves. It would be especially great and chaotic if instead of just having Bhalbhuaidh visit occasionally, they had a full-on exchange program with Alastrann’s court and, if you warp the timeline to its utmost, the Paladins. I would enjoy Bhalbhuaidh and Medoro confronting Bors and Roland and telling them off for being bigoted.

All the Canons, All at once

I am always thinking about the vast Arthurian Mythos and its various traditions and canons. All of them being mutually exclusive to each other...

...Aaaand I can't help but want to smash them together like playdough. Its my favorite past-time as of late.

Like, don't tell me no-one has ever amused themselves of the fact that the Celtic Gods like Gwyn ap Nudd and Manawydan just hanging out in Arthur's court with Palamedes, Dubricius, Galahad and Nasciens.

Or my very favorite concept of Guinevere being a giantess AND a sorceress while also being Morgan the fairy's ex-girlfriend Best-friend-turned-Arch-nemesis. Nevermind what this means for Lancelot, Arthur, Galehaut, Meleagant and the other abductors.

Or the various children that's been given to every character, including Palamedes, Merlin and Tristan. Even Freaking Lancelot and Guinevere have children together. They even have a grandson in Gargantua.

You could literally have your own next-gen version of the Round Table, led by Amr, Loholt and Melora. Staffed by: Guingalain, Ysaye, Lohengrin, Brisan, Bronsidel, Melehan, Munsolinos, Amren, Garanwyn, Kelemon, Andronia, Florismarte, Pantagruel, Vanoc, etc.

And then Dragon Knight Branor, (From Uther's Generation of Round Table Knights) shows up and kicks their asses.

Ghosts can take the form of large fuzzy animals. One lived at Merlin’s for a while.

Galahad has mugged a senior citizen.

King Alastrann of India might technically have usurped the post from a dog whose parents were previously human and his brothers.

Ector de Maris has hooked up with everyone in Morgan le Fay’s friend group (separately) at least once.

Once, Tristan killed a dragon, stuck its tongue down his pants, and was severely burned.

A war involving Arthur’s warriors destroyed a third of Ireland.

Gawain became the Emperor of China.

Arthur is in fact king of the entire world.

Lancelot got married four times, once while still married (he ended up going back to his third wife and they died old and happy).

When Lancelot first met Gawain, he mistook Gawain for God.

A few things which are “canon” somewhere for people who are worried they’re stretching it too far

Arthur was killed by a giant cat. 

Arthur killed the cat.

Arthur didn’t fight the cat. Kay did.

Kay and Bedivere use salmon as taxis. 

Lucan is half giant, half lion. (This Lucan, Lucano in the original Italian, is evil and not related to Bedivere). 

King Arthur raided the land of the dead.

The human knight Caradoc Briefbras has three half siblings: a dog, a horse, and a pig.

A large portion of Arthur’s troops was killed a while before Camlann by his nephew’s attack ravens in self-defense. Arthur and said nephew were playing chess at the time and neither did much to stop it.

Merlin retired peacefully and went to live in the countryside with Taliesin.

Wherever Arthur walks, plants die. They don’t grow back for years.

Arthur had a spunky (half?) brother who died in battle after making a mysterious oath.

Dagonet is more or less able to run the kingdom when Arthur is gone. His biggest error is overspending on mercenaries.

Guinevere has an evil almost identical twin half-sister.

Hector beat up all the best knights except for Galahad while possessed by a demon.

Gawain plays tennis.

Gawain has used a chessboard as a weapon.

Near the start of his reign, Arthur left Lot in charge of the kingdom and went on a quest with a sassy parrot.

Gawain or Galahad succeeded Arthur as king. 

I would, too.

Movie/Tv Show/Anime idea: An Action Adventure where Aliens invade Earth but it’s way back in the past, Specifically Camelot during the height of Arthur’s Reign. Now instead of eliminating or toning down the more mystical aspects of Arthurian Legend we lean into them.

Sir Kay grabs his sword and starts heating it up to make a makeshift lightsaber before growing to his giant size and slicing through alien ground troops like they’re paper.

Gawain and Ironside (the Red Knight) are just tossing aliens around like nothing with their superhuman strength. Then when the sun sets and the aliens think they have the upper hand over Gawain who loses his incredible strength at night, they hear a wolf’s howl before being attacked by Sir Marrok the werewolf.

Sir Bedwyr piercing the Aliens’ superior technology with his magic lance before darting away like the Flash, Sir Ywain using his battle lion to defend the court, etc.

Even Merlin gets in on the action, using his extensive magic to create illusions and fireballs. Morgan Le Fay even comes out of the woodwork to help, summoning lightning to attack the aliens’ ships.

Arthur, still in possession of Excalibur’s scabbard, tries to initially greet the invaders, only for them to blast him with a plasma cannon. As the smoke clears, Arthur is unharmed but his horse is a pile of ash. Arthur just looks at the alien spaceship and says, “that was my favorite horse.”

In the final battle, right when it seems like the aliens have the upper hand, one of their spaceships crashes to the ground unexpectedly. Out of the crashed spaceship comes Sir Galahad wielding a sword clearly made out of alien technology. Turns out what Sirs Percival and Bors thought was Galahad ascending to Heaven was actually him being abducted by aliens, and he stowed away when he found out they were coming back to destroy Camelot. The Knights, now emboldened by Galahad’s return start pushing the invading forces back. Galahad actually goes to the Round Table at some point, finds the Siege Perilous, and breaks the back of it off to make a makeshift shield/vaporizing weapon.

Anyway the Knights win, Galahad decides he needs to go back to free all the Aliens’ captives and lead a rebellion against their oppressive empire. He also says he’ll tell all the stars what awaits them should anyone try to invade the Earth.

I’d watch that.

Shana Tova everyone, and a happy holiday to all who celebrate! May this year be peaceful and fulfilling :)

any platonic ships?

I like the wacky friendship between Galahad and the Grail Heroine. They’re both such weirdos (affectionate) that he thinks nothing of wearing a belt which she made of her own hair which she had previously been carrying around in a box because she had a prophecy. He needed a belt. She had hair. That’s just how they are. 

When it comes to not-canon-anywhere friendships in not-canon-anywhere timelines, I think that it would be entertaining if Galahad was also friends with Mordred but either Galahad strenuously denied it to himself until he couldn’t any longer or was somehow unaware of or unable to comprehend the absolute havoc wreaked by his friend.

Agreed. This is fantastic. The mention of Camlann rather than Badon was a bad oversight. I’m confused about the sequence of alluded-to events in The Dream of Rhonabwy. On a reread, it seems like the Battle of Camlann happened well before Badon and like both Arthur and Mordred survived it, but this too could be a misinterpretation.

There was no Eliwlod reference intended, but Arthur’s nephew who turns into an eagle would certainly fit in the list.

The source for Arthur being a Red Ravager who makes it so that plants won’t grow where he’s walked for seven years is a quotation from Bromwich’s Trioedd Ynys Prydein.

The part about Merlin and Taliesin is a reference to the Vita Merlini, which I haven’t read, only read references to, and I made a notable omission. Along with them in the woods are Merlin’s sister Gwenddydd and his friend Maeldinus.

A few things which are “canon” somewhere for people who are worried they’re stretching it too far

Arthur was killed by a giant cat. 

Arthur killed the cat.

Arthur didn’t fight the cat. Kay did.

Kay and Bedivere use salmon as taxis. 

Lucan is half giant, half lion. (This Lucan, Lucano in the original Italian, is evil and not related to Bedivere). 

King Arthur raided the land of the dead.

The human knight Caradoc Briefbras has three half siblings: a dog, a horse, and a pig.

A large portion of Arthur’s troops was killed a while before Camlann by his nephew’s attack ravens in self-defense. Arthur and said nephew were playing chess at the time and neither did much to stop it.

Merlin retired peacefully and went to live in the countryside with Taliesin.

Wherever Arthur walks, plants die. They don’t grow back for years.

Arthur had a spunky (half?) brother who died in battle after making a mysterious oath.

Dagonet is more or less able to run the kingdom when Arthur is gone. His biggest error is overspending on mercenaries.

Guinevere has an evil almost identical twin half-sister.

Hector beat up all the best knights except for Galahad while possessed by a demon.

Gawain plays tennis.

Gawain has used a chessboard as a weapon.

Near the start of his reign, Arthur left Lot in charge of the kingdom and went on a quest with a sassy parrot.

Gawain or Galahad succeeded Arthur as king. 

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Thank you so much!

It was supposed to be Mordred as he’s described in my writing. A friend and I couldn’t find any art which matched our headcanon of his appearance, so I decided to try to draw him myself, but my attempts to make him stop looking like me just made him look like an elven version of my mother. There are several characters who this sort of looks like it could be depicting, especially if you ignore the pointy ear (not quite sure where it came from), but I don’t think it quite fits anyone in particular.

Ah, well. At least it’s clear to everyone that it’s not Lancelot. I think Mordred would hate people mistaking him for Lancelot and kill anyone who did or vastly abuse (and maybe destroy) his borrowed reputation.

Arthur's different genealogies from the book "Heroes of the Round Table" by Mike Dixon-Kennedy.

A few things which are “canon” somewhere for people who are worried they’re stretching it too far

Arthur was killed by a giant cat.* 

Arthur killed the cat.

Arthur didn’t fight the cat. Kay did.

Kay and Bedivere use salmon as taxis. 

Lucan is half giant, half lion. (This Lucan, Lucano in the original Italian, is evil and not related to Bedivere). 

King Arthur raided the land of the dead.

The human knight Caradoc Briefbras has three half siblings: a dog, a horse, and a pig.

A large portion of Arthur’s troops was killed a while before Badon by his nephew’s attack ravens in self-defense. Arthur and said nephew were playing chess at the time and neither did much to stop it. [Edit: before Badon, not Camlann, which has apparently already happened despite Arthur and Mordred being alive]

Merlin retired peacefully and went to live in the countryside with his also-magic sister Ganieda, Taliesin, and another of their friends. [Edited]

Wherever Arthur walks, plants die. They don’t grow back for years.

Arthur had a spunky (half?) brother who died in battle after making a mysterious oath.

Dagonet is more or less able to run the kingdom when Arthur is gone. His biggest error is overspending on mercenaries.

Guinevere has an evil almost identical twin half-sister.

Hector beat up all the best knights except for Galahad while possessed by a demon.

Gawain plays tennis.

Gawain has used a chessboard as a weapon.

Near the start of his reign, Arthur left Lot in charge of the kingdom and went on a quest with a sassy parrot.

Gawain or Galahad succeeded Arthur as king.** 

*Whether or not this is canon anywhere is a somewhat meta matter. André de Coutance complains that the story that Chapalu/Cath Palug killed King Arthur and conquered England is a slanderous lie while also implying it's widely circulated. He's saying that it's canon in other places and also that it's wrong. As far as I know, no other text mentions a tradition where the cat kills the king.

**Not in different texts--Bhalbhuaidh is either Irish Gawain or Irish Galahad.