Nothing Stresses Alfred More Than The Batfam's Sleep Schedule

talia in arab clothing 😈

Peter: *creating something in a lab*

Shuri: Bye Brother *walks in*

Peter: *stops*

Shuri: *stops*

Shuri: You have your own lab??

Peter: You have a family??

So now I want to see how the JL reacts being in the bat cave and seeing all of Damian's pets casually roaming around.

They would be listening to Batman talking seriously about a mission but then Batcow just strolls behind him and no one knew if they were hallucinating or not. Then they see Batcow playing with Alfred the Cat while Titus plays fetch with Goliath at the back.

For a prompt request can I ask for a baby Damian with Bruce or Alfred in an early adoption au pls?

"Say 'hello', Damian. Say 'hello Grandpa'."

I like to think Bruce randomly pops up ninja style very frequently in his civilian life because I do that and in collage I scared a lot of people

Just going into an elevator and BOOM Bruce Wayne??? And he’s like, “sup”

Bruce Wayne talking to a group at a gala and suddenly he’s just gone?

Bruce standing right there when you close the refrigerator, “hey Bruce” like yea, he just does that

Wind down #TheBatman doodles. Some Robert Pattinson studies and silly batcat shenanigans 🦇 🐈‍⬛ stylizing humans is hard 😭

OKAY SO I FOUND OUT BRUCE DOES THIS SHIT ⬇️ THANKS TO THIS POST

And you cannot convince me he doesn't use it to protect his birds when they're in danger. Something's been tossed at one of his kids? He tackles them and cocoons them up with him for safety without hesitation. You could almost call it a panic response, if you could get him to admit that he panics.

Their reactions:

Dick: "I've been doing this nearly as long as you have, remember? I could have dodged that, but I appreciate it." Or "If you wanted a hug, dad, you just had to ask."

Cass: if she's in a good mood she's okay with it. A bad mood and he gets glared at and pinched because she can handle this dad, come on.

Jason: always starts cursing and wiggling around trying to get free before begrudgingly settling down and just accepting it. Never minds it as much as he says he does. Bruce would hug you more often if you weren't allergic to admitting you want him to you silly boy (he gets cocooned a lot so Bruce can hug him anyway).

"Are you alright, son?"

"god DAMN it old man!! Let me go!!!"

"I can't yet until I know you won't be in immediate danger."

"ARRRGHHH"

"Jaylad, I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"I don't need you to--!"

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again."

"..........." Sigh. Cue a little more wiggling and an intentional elbow to B's ribs as Jay gets comfortable. His siblings are gonna tease him mercilessly later, he just knows it.

Steph: spends the time roasting him into oblivion and annoying him in the hopes he'll stop doing it; has yet to learn that he does, in fact, value her safety and well-being over his pride. Shocking, I know.

Tim: grew up pretty touch starved so while he finds it annoying, he also doesn't complain beyond a bit of half hearted grumbling because by god he needs the hugs.

"was this really necessary?"

"yes"

"🙄"

"How did you--"

Duke: What is this??? What is happening??? Why's it dark??? Straight up blinds Bruce in surprise every time which just leads to him being cocooned longer because now Bruce has to recover before he can tell if it's safe.

"Son, your powers are incredible and we're very proud of you but please don't use them on me"

"Sorry B, my bad."

"I'll admit that's a useful startle response though."

"Right?? Some asshole at school tried to sneak up behind me as a joke and had to go to the nurse and I didn't even touch him."

"Hn."

"Uh, I mean, I don't use my powers at school at all. Ever."

Damian: gets cocoon tackled the most because baby. That's his baby, people are throwing things AT HIS BABY--! Fucking HATES it. Will straight up start gnawing on Bruce's arm if cocooned too long.

"FATHER RELEASE ME AT ONCE"

"Not until it's safe"

"I WAS TRAINED BY--"

"I don't care."

A sulking puppy for a little while that will never admit to enjoying the affection, but still, only for so long. There is a quota and once it's reached, It's like Bruce has trapped himself with a rabid raccoon.

Why are his children like this.

Tim: I want to tell Bruce that I'm queer but I just don't know how he'll handle it. How could he possibly understand?

Dick: *Having war flashbacks of a childhood spent dealing with Bruce sulking because he misses Khoa, grieving over Harvey, and breaking up with Clark every other month*

Dick: I think you're good, kid.

Another old shitpost

Bruce: I'm pretty sure they learnt their lesson

Alfred: Really Master Bruce?

Bruce: No! But you can let a man dream!

Dick: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Tim: No.

Cass: I did not.

Jason : I may have actually forgotten one.

Damian: Also no.

Dick: Oh good, neither did I.

Duke: *Exhausted sigh*