Assassin's Pratt

Imagine letting your partner become unavailable because of a random skunk

Staci makes Jacob go check the creepy basement at 3am because ✌ ƃuᴉɥʇǝɯos pɹɐǝɥ ǝɥ✌

And Jacob always goes through a whole lot of trouble for nothin'

But that's okay, S̷̢̬̖̱͔͚͔͈͗͗̓͗̏̇̃̈̿̚t̸̮̮͎̫̓a̵̰͖̠̝̗͌̇̾͆̂͒̀̄̌̍̑̿̆̚͝ç̷̨̛͉̭͉̰̫̙̜͔̜̦̪̪̂͂͂̒͑̅͂͜į̸̜͙͔͕̭̲̝̃͗̽̓ ̷̖̩̯̹̩̰̲̖̗͗̋̅̈́̓̐̅̉͌̔̀͊̑̀̐͜k̷̢̧͔̺͔̦̖̈̀͒̉́̈́̒̉ň̵͓̦̝̫̜̊͒͜ǫ̸̢̫̦̞̲̺͎̝͙͇̥̥̲̓̀̀̀́͑͐͒̅̾͂̀͝͝w̸̤̖͉̞̼̲̳̯̒s̶̢͈̫̦̮͖̣͓̻̱͑̊̊̓͘͝ͅ ̶̢̧̛̱̯̤̝̳̭̗̖̜̟̇̓̾̾́̑͂̚̕͠b̴̧̲̬̠̜͙̟̱̭̘̭̦̿̋͗̍̇̄͋͌͘͜͝͠͠ȇ̷̲̼̝͊̈́͘͝ṱ̶̟̦̮͙͔̜̰̫̼̮͈̇̌̎͂́̓̚t̵̢̛̗̬͕́̂͋̒̕e̴̛̜͚̖̭̜̬̹͍̱̾̊̽̔͂̽͑͒̑͘r̵̨̡̛͕̭̬̦̞̻̺̟̙͍̾̎̃̎͛̓̾̑̐̍̏̋̊ͅ ̶̨̨̢͎̠͓̺͙͇͉͓̻͎̏̈̀͌́̓͑̈ͅṉ̷̢̠̥͕̩̞̗̃̐̾̐͋̃̐̆̎̃͋̽̚͘̕o̴̪͍̍̓̿̚ẅ̵̡̱́̃̒̄́̊̆

That's Mathematics, Son

Jacob gaslighting Staci when "sharing" the last can of food in the bunker.

One time Jacob near-starved to death because he wouldn't tell his Pa that he was hungry (since he's the silent type, of course).

get outta here, pumpkin.

friendship with jacob has ended, now jacob is my best friend.

Charlie Hunnam. AGAIN?!

So if you merge Jacob and Staci, apparently, you get

Charlie Hunnam. AGAIN.

You can see more Hunnam content

here

here

here

and here

Keeping Up with the Seedians

So I was googling something and saw that the Russian localization of the game does not call the brothers:

Джейкоб (Jacob) Джозеф (Joseph) Джон (John)

but instead uses the Slavic biblical variations of the names

Иаков (Iakov) Иосиф (Iosif) Иоанн (Ioann)

And I realized that the same can be done in Armenian. Thus, I present to you the Seedian family:

Հակոբոս (Hakobos) Հովսեփ (Hovsep) Հովհաննես (Hovhannes)

Among these three, the biblical and modern forms are the same except for Hakobos vs Hakob

What are you looking at? Helicopter. Hell yeah. What are you looking at? Helicopter. Hell yeah.

How The Turn Tables

Fuck around, and find out. Everyone has their limits

Oh no, the tables have turned. Again.

Meet Cartel Boss Staci's twin brother:

Mob King Stacy.

Yes, their parents named them Staci and Stacy. They also refused to elaborate further.

Staci Silver and Jacob Flint

What do you mean Jacob and Staci are not a canon ship?

I have seen them (a little hot shit in his 20s and a grumpy ginger man in his 40s) in a ship, on a ship, sailing the said ship for 2 seasons straight and 2 seasons gay.

They are very much cannon.

ba dum tss