Chapter 33

His hands are my favourite thing on this whole entire planet

♥

Just witnessed my friend doing The Cartlon to “Looking for Sombody (the love)”

NEVER KNEW I NEEDED IT TILL

Chapter 28

Word count : 1k

I’m sorry that is so short but this is a smutty chapter and I’m not very good at writing smut I can read it all the time but I’ve never written it before I’m sorry if it’s not that good but here it is

So warning is smut and swearing ig

Mattys POV

“Now Matty , if your wearing a shirt , take it off for me and take a picture and send it to me” , so I did I pulled my shift off over my head and throw it down next to me on the bed , I momentarily take my phone away from my ear and take a picture of myself chest exposed and my hand splayed across it , after I send it off to George. “Wow your so beautiful Matty honestly”

“Thank darlin, how about you send me something too ?, I need to see you too” , with the anticipation of it can myself hardening in my jeans and I loosen my button on my jeans just so there easier to take off later and slide my hand over my body a few times, I message comes through not to long after and it’s from George again in pretty much the same layout as me laying with his chest exposed seeing the picture makes me whine a little “fuck your so pretty George” , at this I decide to put my phone on speaker and lay it next to me so I have both hands free. “Put your phone on speaker darlin it’ll be easier for you”

“I have , my love don’t worry, now how are you feeling , are you sure you wanna do this?”

“George darlin , I love that your asking but seriously, I really just need to do this”, I begin to push my jeans down my thighs stopping at my knees, and my hands travel back up to my boxers “Can I touch myself”

“Go ahead my love but tell me how you’d like me to do it if it where me okay?”

“I can do that” , I then bring my hand down , sliding it down my body till I get to my waist band and pull my boxers down too “first off I’d just ask you to tease a little bit I guess, just wind me up apparently which is weird I suppose” , my hand travels to wraps itself around me and I start to slowly rub myself as I describe what I’d like George to do “then uh then I’d ask you to actually touch me because a man can’t hold off forever can they” , I hear a small gasp from his side and it drives me a little crazy and I let out a sigh of content as I continue

“Then what my love”, he’s a little breathy already and it’s really setting me off. Little moans and sighs from his end up making my hand go faster and I moan a few times myself embarrassingly high may I add.

“Then em …maybe I’d start slowly undressing you while your touching me , then I’d wrap my hands around you too so not to be selfish ay , cuz I’d wanna see it too”

“Would you like to see it again ??”

“God yeh” , I have to see him all of him honestly I don’t know what I’d do if he was just here in front of me I’d turn into such a fucking horny 15 year old boy that I don’t look like that right now but Jesus “can I please?”

“How would you like to see it love”

“Can we switch to face time”, I feel myself unravelling at the thought of just seeing him all layed out pleasuring himself infront of me. “Only if you want too of course”

“Shit….yeh I want too” , my screen suddenly pops up as a FaceTime and I accept it and try to set it up so he can see me fully and seeing his face even in this situation just makes me smile “heya love I missed your face”

“Me too darlin me too” my hand stilled for a second so I could just look at him and admire him “your so fuckin handsome George seriously”

“Ahhh…no…nghhh…that’s you” , I can see he’s still going to my hand goes back to what it was doing and I start pumping myself faster as I watch him and I start speaking to him better this feels better

“What would you like me do argh… to you …shit …right now” , I can see him thinking off what he’d like to do and his eyes roll into the back of his head and his back rises of the bed as he groans which in turn makes me moan again.

“Jesus fuck Matty…I really…oh uh…I really wan t you too ….nghh…suck me off” , that was it for both us I could feel the not in my stomach start to pull and I was about to cum

“George I’m gunna…arghh…cum …tell me I can…let me cum” , I try to hold off until he says I can because I like when I get permission and the praise afterwards from being good is just amazing.

“Go ahead love let me see you let go”, and that’s when I release all over my hand and my stomach and at the moment I can hear him let out a stomach churning moans and I just catch him as he do releases all over himself. I’m sweating and my breathing is ragged , he looks just as fucked out as I am. We both take some time to come back to reality just breathing with each other. “That was…that was amazing oh my god “

“You can say that again , gimmie a second I’m just going to clean up”

“Me too”

We both chuckle a little as we go to clean up, I dampen a cloth and wipe myself clean of everything and smile to myself that was great. I haven’t been with someone in a while but even that beats anything I’ve done with anyone. That just felt different. I make my way back to my room as I redress pulling up jeans and putting my shift back in that I’d dropped in the bed and get myself comfy back in the bed and wait for George, he comes back not to long after he too is also dressed and his hair is tied up again and he looks so precious “Hey there handsome”

“Hi , can I say that was the best thing I’ve ever done”

This George is my absolute fave Era of G , and Matty and And G playing Rock Paper Scissors is deffo how I imagine them in my Fanfic it’s so funny

Any other lives cuz the guy I was using had to go ?!!!

To read after work

unplanned - ross macdonald x reader

chapter 1

a/n: hello! i posted this a long time ago but was very unsatisfied with it, so i took it down to polish up and am far more pleased with this version! plz let me know what u think :) excited to write this.

you feel frightened by how quickly you jolt awake; once you had finally managed to fall asleep last night it was deep, the kind you knew would have been refreshing had it lasted. but only a few hours have passed, and as soon as you’re awake you panic because you know why this has happened. the nausea hits you immediately and you run to the bathroom down the hall, not even worrying about trying to keep quiet despite the fact your grandmother is asleep just down the hall and you don’t want her to know what’s been going on with you the last few days.

it’s a close call but you make it just in time, emptying your stomach even though there’s really not much left at this point. you try to be quiet but your retching is loud enough that once you’re finished you hear a small knock on the door.

“darling, are you ok?” you hear your nana ask on the other side of the door.

you lie your head back against the tub, grabbing a cold washcloth you had left from when you’d been in this same situation a few hours before and putting in on your forehead.

“i’m fine, nan. something i ate i suppose,” you say back, weakly.

“alright then. i’m going back to bed but if you need anything let me know.”

“thanks nan.” you want to cry thinking about how sweet she is, how much you will miss her when you finally head back to the city. you have been here all summer, and all of the paid time off you should have been saving for an upcoming wedding and honeymoon is gone, spent instead on feeling sorry for yourself, mourning the loss of your new home, a large group of your friends, and of course, your relationship with ross. you are due to return to london today, and back to work tomorrow. you try and take deep breaths as you lie there, then get up, brush your teeth, and head back to your room. you lie back in bed, thankful for how cool your sheets feel on your face and your back, then pick your phone up off the bedside table. 5 am. you will be leaving the house in just two hours.

you unlock it and see you have two texts. both you are expecting, but one you dread.

the first is from your friend, gemma, confirming the time you’ll be at her flat this morning . you’ll be staying with her temporarily until you can find a place of your own, at least you hope. you wait to respond, as your answer will depend on what lies ahead in your next message.

it’s from ross:

yeah, i suppose i can meet up. what time

you hate how indifferent his tone is. you know it’s just a text, that a lot can get lost when you’re communicating without seeing or hearing him, but you still have a gut feeling that he is not happy to be hearing from you.

you stare at the screen for several minutes, feeling incapable of responding. you lock and unlock your phone several times, another knot forming in your stomach. you’re sure he’s not awake, that’s he’s barely thought about you since he received your message asking if you could see each other and talk, but you also can’t help but worry that he knows you’ve read your message, that you’re taking so long to respond. you can’t think rationally right now after the news you’ve received yesterday.

you unlock your phone again then go to your mail app, where you have an email from your doctor with your blood results. you scroll to the bottom and see the words again, still as big of a shock to your system as they were when you read them the first time: PREGNANCY (HCG) - POSITIVE.

over the last couple of weeks, you could sense that something was off. you’d felt far more tired than normal; when you’d first arrived at the beginning of the summer, you had made a habit of spending your afternoons gardening with your nana, but the heat seemed to be getting to you more easily now. but when you’d started throwing up a few days before, you realized you had missed your second period in a row. upon this realization you had texted gemma immediately, panicking, but she tried and reassured you that maybe it had just been the unduly high amount of stress you’d been under. but when you did the math in your head of the last time you and ross had slept together, you knew you wouldn’t get any reassurance until you’d seen your doctor.

you exit the mail app and go back to your messages, staring at the blinking cursor. finally you respond:

does noon sound ok? i’m driving back from nan’s this morning so i can just meet you as soon as i get back into the city. maybe at that coffee shop around the block from my office?

you sit up against the headboard after you hit send, feeling your eyes well up again. you are so scared about telling him, scared of how he will react, scared of seeing him again for the first time in two and a half months. you’d known that eventually you would have to contact him again; your stuff was still in the house you’d shared after all, you were going to have to fetch it eventually. but you had not expected your first meeting after your breakup to be under such strange circumstances.

by now it’s 5:45, and you figure you might as well get up and start packing. before you can get out of bed, your cat, harvey, jumps up and starts rubbing his head against your hands, purring up a storm. you smile through your tears at him; he is so old, his fur is patchy, he’s half blind, but he has been a constant source of comfort for you during your summer stay at your nana’s.

you continue to cry as you pull your suitcase out from under your bed and put your things in it. you don’t want to go back to what you have left behind. you still don’t think you have even fully processed your breakup with ross; the night you’d broken up with him, you’d immediately packed a bag that night and driven up to liverpool. you hadn’t looked back, and because of that you’d spent the whole summer distracting yourself rather than dealing with your grief. your nana had been wonderful, and had offered to talk things out with you several times, but you’d always refused. you feel guilty for not telling her what’s going on now, but you don’t want to tell anyone until you know exactly how you are going to handle the situation.

once your things are in your suitcase, you wash your face, throw on a pair of jean shorts and an old t-shirt, then pack harvey up in his crate and head downstairs, where your nana is making tea and toast. she follows you out to your car, giving you a big hug before you get in. you start crying again as you hold her tightly, not wanting to let go.

“it’ll be ok, sweetheart. you’ll make it through, i promise,” she says, rubbing your back.

“i love you, nana,” you say, still holding her arms as you pull away. “thank you for everything.”

“i love you too, more than you will ever know. give me a ring when you make it back to gemma’s.” she watches as you get in your car, start the engine, and drive off, and you sob as you see her fade away in your rear view mirror.

the drive to london passes in silence, but it’s quick, as you spend the whole time trying to play out how you will break this news to ross. you practice different scenarios out loud, occasionally glancing down to see harvey glaring back up at you from his carrier in the passenger seat, grateful he’s there to help you calm down when you start to feel like you’re getting too worked up about it. when you finally arrive in the city you make a quick stop at gemma’s flat, where she’s left a key for you at the front desk while she’s at work so you can drop off harvey and your suitcases. once you set up his food and water bowls and his litter box you look at your watch. it’s now 11:57.

“shit,” you say out loud, leaving the flat and walking the six blocks as fast as you can to the cafe where you are supposed to meet him. you’d wanted to get there early, to compose yourself as much as possible before he arrived, but the time had gotten away from you.

when you arrive you are a little out of breath, and feel a bit alarmed because you don’t immediately see him. it was unlike him to be late, and while you were driving down the thought of him not showing up at all had occurred to you more than once. but you catch your breath as your eyes take a second glance around the cafe and see him sitting in the corner booth, his coffee already at the table, staring at his phone. after a few seconds he looks up and sees you, gives you a small wave; as he does he gives you a strange look, not exactly a frown and not exactly a smile, a grimace of sorts. you wave back and try to force a small smile, then go to the counter to order.

while you wait for the barista to finish up your drink, you look over at him a few times. he looks good; hair up, arms looking more toned than usual, skin tanned, most likely from his time spent outdoors on the festival circuit this year. he and the boys had seemingly hit a high this summer from what you could tell when you would torture yourself by checking instagram. it bothered you that he looked so good and you looked so pitiful, showing up with a puffy face, frizzy hair, no makeup on. you curse yourself for not thinking of that possibility, but aren’t able to dwell on it for long because your name is being called.

he does not stand up or greet you as you approach the table, just locks his phone and looks up at you when you sit down, folding his hands. “hi,” you say, softly, again trying to force a smile you know he’ll be able to see through.

“hey. alright?” he says, a little too politely.

“fine. sorry i’m so late. lost track of time.”

he chuckles a little at that, giving you a small smile. “i wouldn’t expect anything less.”

you smirk, looking down at your coffee as you stir it nervously with your spoon. “you look well. have things been okay with the band and all that?”

“yeah, really good. just got home from a long run of festivals a couple days ago. don’t have much else planned until the new year, so it’ll be nice to have a few months off.”

that’s nice,” you say, looking back up at him. the tension is sharp, and there is an awkwardness, but even so you can’t believe how kindly he is acting toward you after everything that went down. you’re both silent for a few moments, eyes wandering around the room, not sure what to say next; you keep trying to figure out when to bring it up without it seeming like too big of a bomb, but you’re kidding yourself if you think there’s a way to tell him organically.

but just before you’re about to speak up again, he clears his throat. “erm…have you figured out where you’re staying yet? sort out a flat or anything?”

you take another sip of coffee. “not exactly…like i said, i literally just got back from staying with my nana. think i’ll just be crashing with gemma until I can find a flat. might be a while though. i’ve applied to several places but keep getting rejected because of my credit.”

“shit,” he says. “sorry about that.”

you can tell by the way his jaw clenches that he wants to say something else on the subject, something about how this could have been prevented, but he bites his tongue. you nearly roll your eyes at this, but continue. “it’s alright, really. i’ll make it work. you, um, is it still okay with you if i keep my things at the house until i sort something out? i promise i’ll get them out as soon as i find a place. just can’t really afford storage at the moment.”

“sure, i don’t mind. not bothering me. i’ve only been back from tour for about a week myself so everything is sort of all over the place at the house anyway.”

another silence. then, he goes again.

“your nana doing alright?”

“yes, she’s doing really well. still as active as ever. and your family?”

“great. my parents are supposed to come visit in a few weeks i think.”

“good.”

another silence. you start to pick at the skin on your thumbs a little, and watch as he taps his phone, pretending to look distracted. from your side of the table you can see that only about seven minutes have passed since you sat down, but you feel like it’s been hours. a lump builds in your throat when you realize this; if anyone had told you this would be how things between the two of you would be a year ago, you would have laughed at how absurd a notion that was. you can’t believe the two of you were a couple for four years before this; you are behaving as if you’ve never met.

you swallow, take a deep breath, and then look him straight in the eyes.

“look, ross, there’s something i need to tell you.”

“i suspected,” he returns, a little too sarcastically for your liking.

you take another deep breath before deciding to brush his comment off, then say, “i…i’ve tried to think of about a million different ways to tell you this without just totally blindsiding you, but i guess that’s not really possible because i just found out myself and…and…” your eyes are starting to well up again, a couple of tears escaping and running down your face.

he starts to look alarmed now, his eyes getting wider. he adjusts his hands a little, at first looking like he’s about to extend one to you, but then remembering his place, remembering that that might no longer be appropriate, and puts them back together again. he doesn’t say anything, though, just keeps staring at you, searching your face and listening intently.

“okay, erm…i’m pregnant.”

another silence, but his face speaks volumes. obviously, he’s stunned; there is no expression, just his brown eyes still wide, his mouth a straight line. he stays quiet for about a minute, keeps his gaze right on you, eye contact not breaking. slowly, he sits up straighter in his chair, messes a little with his watch band, then takes a breath, looking out the window next to you as he does so.

“uh…” is all he can muster up. you wipe another few tears with a napkin. after you do so, he says, “okay. when did you find this out?”

“yesterday,” you say, setting the napkin back on the table now, feeling a little relief since you’ve at least spilled the beans. “got it tested through bloodwork, so it’s official.”

“okay.” he’s looking down now, continuing to mess with his watch band, not looking you in the eyes anymore. “and…okay, i’m sorry, what i’m about to say might make me sound like a massive dickhead, but you’re sure it’s mine?”

dagger straight to the heart. “oh my fucking god,” you say, starting to raise your voice a little bit, but catching yourself. “of course. do you really think i would…is that what you think of me?”

“okay, i’m sorry, i’m sorry. that was unfair.” he puts his hands up, like you’re pointing a gun at him or something. “i haven’t seen you or spoken to you since you left. it’s been, like, three months. i just had to be sure.”

you sigh. “no…it’s ok, i get it. this is…it’s just a lot for both of us.”

he scratches his nose, then puts his hands behind his neck and leans back against the chair, looking out the window again. “no, it was a stupid thing to say. i just…am shocked. and…like, you’re sure? i’m just trying to think how this could have happened.”

you can’t believe how thick he’s acting. yes, toward the end, you two had barely been having sex, and you know this comment is a petty allusion to that fact, but again, you try to keep your patience with him. “come on, ross. i know we were having issues, but…” you give him a stern look. “don’t you remember the last time? that party at george and charli’s when we both got wasted and fucked in the linen closet?”

his eyes get big again, it finally dawning on him. “oh. but…I mean you still have the iud and all that right? just because…”

“unlikely, but not impossible.”

just then, a ghastly smell from the counter hits your nose, and you feel a wave of nausea hit you again. you stand up quickly, halfway shout an “excuse me,” to ross, then run to the toilet as quickly as possible, throwing up the coffee. when you wipe your face off and rinse out your mouth with water, you look in the mirror. you look like shit, you feel like shit. you stand there and stare at yourself, furious that you’re in this situation, dreading returning to your table. but when you walk back out the door, ross is standing in the corridor, waiting on you. hands in his pockets, he looks extremely concerned.

“are you ok?”

you wipe a little sweat off your forehead, and reply, quietly, “i’ll be fine. morning sickness, i expect.”

“do you want to get out of here and go for a walk?”

“sure.”

the two of you keep your hands in your pockets as you walk side by side. you can’t help but notice how strange it feels; even toward the end you rarely walked anywhere together without his hand in yours, his thumb rubbing up and down the back. the silence between you now is a little more comfortable at least. you both know you have things you must say, but you’ve come to an understanding that, at least until you get to your destination, you can keep quiet. about twenty minutes pass before you reach a park you two would often visit when he would meet you after work and you find a bench you can sit on. when you sit down, you start to notice loads of families, many with prams. you try to imagine yourself with one, but shiver a little at the thought.

“so…um…have you decided what you’re going to do?” ross breaks the silence.

“no, i haven’t really considered all the options i suppose. still trying to let it all sink in.”

“what’s your first instinct?”

you laugh a little. “not a fucking clue. was going to see what you thought, to be honest.”

“oh, this is the thing you want my opinion on?” he retorts, and the two of you really start laughing then, a deep, refreshing chuckle you could feel in your belly. “four years with the most opinionated woman i’ve ever met who constantly reminds me she doesn’t need my thoughts, then all of a sudden a child’s in the mix and she wants me to make the decision.”

“hey,” you slap his arm, playfully. “i always take your opinion into consideration. when i ask for it.”

“oh, really? and please enlighten me, when was the last time you asked my opinion for anything? i can’t seem to recall.”

“seems like i asked you what kind of fencing we should consider for the garden when we were getting ready to start the renovation.”

“only because i was going to have to be the one to put it up.” he smiles at you sweetly as both of your laughter fades, and for a second you feel like nothing between you ever changed, that the last few months had just been a bad dream and things were how they were supposed to be. “seriously, though,” he starts again, “it’s your decision. i’ll be fine with whatever you decide. it’s your body.”

you sigh. “right now i’m thinking i’ll wait until after the first scan and then decide.”

“seems reasonable enough.”

“do you…um…do you want to come with me for that?”

“do you want me there?”

you smirk a bit. “who else would i bring along? harvey?”

he laughs again at this. “sick bastard would probably puke all over the table, make it all about himself.”

you giggle, tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear. “is that a yes, then?”

“of course.”

you look up at him, taking in the way he smiles, the little lines around his eyes that you love so much and how much his dimples pop out. it’s killing you how much you’ve missed this, how much you’ve missed him. you have to fight back the urge to touch him, to take his hand or kiss his cheek. “thank you. and also, sorry, i guess.”

“sorry? it’s not like i’m blameless in this situation either. you do know how making a baby works, right?”

he walks you home shortly after; still contactless, another silence settles between you two, but this one is far more comfortable. you are still scared shitless, but you still feel as though an enormous weight has been lifted off your shoulders knowing that, at least for the moment, ross is not going to abandon you completely.

as you approach the steps of gemma’s building, he says, “you still look a bit green. are you sure you’ll be alright for now?”

“yeah, i think so. this has been going on for a few days now. i’m just going to try and take it easy until i have to go back to the office tomorrow.”

“when is the scan?”

“next tuesday at 2:00.”

“i can drive us there. if you want, that is.”

“i don’t think i’d mind.” you give him a small smile.

“okay…well, see you then?” he puts his hands behind his back. you can tell he is unsure how to say goodbye to you; as long as you’ve known him he’s never left you at least without a hug. but, especially with the bizarre twist of events that today has brought on, he is unsure what is allowed, and doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

“see you then.” you don’t reach out, you just turn from him and begin to walk up the stairs, seeing him walk away from the building when you talk. quick glance back. when you get back up to gemma’s flat, you hear your phone ding as you sit on the sofa, greeted by your cat, who nestles into you as you unlock your phone. it’s from ross:

i forgot to mention this, but if you need anything from me between now and tuesday, let me know. i’ll be around. xx

you smile at this, and cannot help but feel grateful that, even though your relationship with him is an absolute wreck, and you are uncertain what the future holds, that there is a small glimmer of a possibility that your lives will still be somehow entangled, at least for a little bit longer.

That’s my man right there

https://href.li/?https://x.com/balladofmonica/status/1715597227454861632?s=46&t=v1791RkgLUh7Mscc9miDfg

I MEAN I UNDERSTAND THE PREMISE AND IT MAKES SOOOO MUCH SENSE BUT I DIDNT KNOW HE HAD THAT DIAGNOSED TOO THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ADHD

Again tho I understand the Premise

Also just a quick probably stupid question “how do you annotate a book” , I know that shit you learn in school but I never listened I only liked writing not so much reading , so if anyone can help me out that would be much appreciated

Here we go here’s my wrapped for 2023 guys

Been a great one , I honestly expected nothing less tbh 😂