I Can’t Be Allowed To Tipsy And Allowed To Think About Matty , And The Boys At The Same Time

Chapter 20

Word count : 2942

I think I may actually adore this chapter it’s adorable and everything about it is just so awkward and cute and fluffy , no warning needed , I hope you enjoy it

Matty's POV

I don't take my phone out again until I get up stairs after having a small conversation with my mum about how work was, I said I'd be more open with her so telling her that I got a little stressed but made my way through it is being open right, she gave me a hug and told me to get some sleep because we're going to try to get me back into school tomorrow even if it's just for one lesson , which I made sure to tell her I'll go in all day I'm not "that broken".

Once I open my phone again I notice that there's a small message from George only emojis of the phone , so I text him with a smile on my face "someone is needy tonight huh 🤣", I throw my

Phone onto my bed and strip my shirt and look around for my rucksack because I really need to study and it's not that late so I could do a little bit tonight. I riffle through my rucksack and find my English work because that will bring me the least amount of stress. I pull the work out of my rucksack and place them on my desk then the text alert comes through my phone and I smile to myself and blush when I see it's from George the knot in my stomach that I feel tightens everytime I get a message from him

"Only for you 😉, so can we?", God , this man , Jesus , Im constantly in awe of him all the time, This smile I'm currently sporting never seems to leave my face when I'm talking to him, I bring my phone over to my desk and take a seat as I type my reply

"I really have to study tonight darlin" , I place my phone back down as I hear the sending tone go through, and open my textbook preparing to read through everything I've gone over through the last few years. Without even a second to read it a Snapchat message comes through. This time a picture message from George, he's just sat there at his desk I believe , with his bottom lip perturding outwards, like he's sulking, so I send him the same picture back captioned "don't be like that darlin , I can call you once I've finished" . He reads it instantly so I don't put my phone down and watch his little icon appear on in the corner , even his icon is cute the reply comes through instantaneously

"How long will that be then?", I roll my eyes at this message , affectionately though I have no issue with it it's precious really. So I send back telling him that I shouldn't be too long it all depends how long it takes for me to pull my hair out but also ask what he's being so needy tonight. "I just miss you Matty"

"I miss you too darlin , how about we call but you gotta be quiet while I study , can you do that for me?" , I smile again as I see his little icon pop back up in the corner with and immediate

"YES THAT I CAN DO"

"Go ahead then but shush okay", at this I wait for his call to come through and start going over my last analysis of "The death of a salesmen" text. It takes no less than a second for his call to come through when I answer his face is beaming he's smiling to brightly "heya love"

"Hiya Darlin" , I smile at him before I get myself stuck into my work, I understand he's want to talk but I really need to get in the headspace of studying , as I'm studying I hear tapping from his end his Xbox remote in hand and I want to ask him what he's playing but I shake my head to get myself to concentrate and get back to my book, I've gone over this thing a million times I know it forwards , backwards and sideways but I can do English so if I know it all properly I have a better chance at passing at least one exam you know. After a further ten minutes of reading over the script. I feel like I'm being watched "darlin your starin"

"Nah I ain't" , I look up at him and he is indeed staring, looking at me like I'm the only human in the world that's ever existed

"You most definitely are"

"Aren't you supposed to be studying, sounds like your the one talking, you asked me to be quiet you didn't say I couldn't watch you" , he's smiling at me again looking like such a cheeky fucker that he is

"Alright fine, but stop distracting me okay?, play your game alright" , I sit and watch him smirk at me while he continues clicking away at his game , which gets me to continue with my studying , making notes about all the metaphors and symbolism throughout the text , for a while we just get our stuff done just living in our own worlds but with each other company, when he got bored of his game I'm pretty sure he left for a while but came back with the biggest bowl I've ever seen but I tried to not let him know I noticed he was gone because I'm supposed to be concentrating but I keep finding myself zoning out and just watching him doing his own thing , this last about half an hour just working away at my desk before I zone out completely and find myself just staring at the wall infront of me.

"You tryna shot lasers out your eyes there Matty?" , his voice cracking through the screen startled me out of my day dream

"Huh!", pulling me out of my day dream I shake my head again a little as my hair bounces and look at him just staring at me giggling. "Sorry was just daydreaming"

He puts his bowl into his desk and turn to look at me properly "what you studying , maybe I could help you stay focused?". I roll my eyes and giggle at him again

"I'm doing English, I would be concentrating fine but my heads still banging , and I can't fuckin read it properly cuz I ain't wearing my glasses and can't find my contacts"

"Why aren't you wearing them love, your heads gunna hurt if your straining your eyes"

"I hate them, they just make light lighter and that hurts my eyes so either way somethings gunna hurt", sighing I hold my head in my hands again and shove my books away from my view. "I'll finish it another time, how are feeling anyway darlin?"

"Yeh I'm doing alright", he picks up his bowl again shovelling noodles into his mouth waiting for himself to finish then he continues on "my dads doing my head in now though", that fact that he's really enjoying those noodles makes me smile,I make a mental note to remember that if he's ever here to make sure I have some.

"Why's that Darlin?", just watching him talking about what's bothering him and not being able to just be there for him, he told me about how he hadn't gone to school that day and his dad was just on his back about it really making him not want to go even more. Which I get because I hate it when you get told to do something repeatedly. "I'm sorry Darlin , is there anything I can do to help?"

"No love it's okay , just being here in your company is help enough", I know what it can be like and I understand where he's coming from, I just feel so calm when I'm around him , is that codependency already maybe , but I don't want to change it. "I've wanted to talk to you all day, and just hearing your voice has made the day so much better Matty honestly"

"We spoke earlier darlin , are you sure your okay?", I could get used to needy George so long as it doesn't mean he's upset, I adore this boy more than anything. After asking my question I get up from my seat stretching my legs and it relaxes me so much once all my muscles are stretched out. Picking up my books to return them to my rucksack and come back to the seat. I can feel his eyes on me the whole time which makes me smile.

He's smiling again and cheeks blushed because he knows I caught him "yeh love I'm alright , I...I don't ...I just wanted to hear your voice again....after earlier I suppose...I just feel a little needy right now is all"

"Can I talk to you about earlier actually?", I don't want him to think I wasn't enjoying it as much as he was because Jesus I was but there's a lot going on with me and I need to be sure that he understands "but don't worry about it, I just need to explain stuff."

"Sure thing love , what's up"

"Well , first off please don't think I wasn't as interested as you because , yes I did I want too like really wanted too but um...I was on all these meds for stuff and it just messed me up a little, just made it hard for anything to work...my labido has been kinda none existent for a while , but , but uh , man I don't know what I'm saying, I wanna try with you"

"I didn't think you weren't interested love , you had work and I was just feeling the way I was , don't feel like you have to be that way with me every-time I do", he's moving his hands around like people do when there having an awkward conversation "I'm interested in you but I'd never force sexual stuff on you"

"But..but I...I want too, like I really want too", I'm blushing due to the nature of the conversation and the honesty but also because of how precious his little face is.

"We'll we can , when your ready love, just let me know" , he's got the biggest smile plastered on his face and he looks amazing "you know ...you never have to explain anything to me love..I just wanna be around all the time"

I nod at him while I pick up my laptop and take it over to my bed yawning, I remove my shirt and slip into bed getting cosy. Today has been so busy my muscles are stiff and being in bed really helps me relax.

"Are you tired love ?, I can go if you'd like?" , he still looks wide awake and I swear he's got other things to be getting on with instead of looking after me right , but I just don't want him to go.

"I'm tired yeh but I'm not going to sleep yet, you can stay if you like , but if you've got other stuff to do, then your allowed to go"

"No , I don't want to go yet , I just don't want to keep you awake", he mirrors my actions gets himself into bed "we can watch something if you'd like"

"Oh, oh , oh, have you seen game of thrones , we can watch that if you want", I'm sure everyone has seen that show by now but I love it and the world it surrounds amazes me

"I have seen bits of it yeh , We can watch anything you like love, want me to screen share or can you do it ?", he looks so cute wrapped up in all those darn blankets he has on his bed and it makes me smile and totally forget to answer "Matty?"

"Huh!" , I release my gaze from his face for a second and try to gather what he had asked "oh sorry um yeh , no , um I'll do it", I pull my laptop closer to me to work the screen , while I'm typing away getting the show ready I can see him in the corner of my screen just staring. This in turn makes me blush and roll my eyes "your doing it again", with that I pull up Netflix and share it with him getting ready to play.

"I can't say I know what your talking about love" , we both settle down smiling like madmen and blushing as the title screen plays. The theme tunes send me into a complete other dimension I swear and I love it so much. It makes my smile so much bigger , which makes him giggle "someone's a little obsessed with this ain't they"

"Shush it's playing", he smiles at me again a big toothy grin this time and rolls his eyes. But does start paying attention to it. His eyes grow wide at a few point when something unexpected happens. I get overly excited at certain parts asking him if he understands what's going on which he replies with a nod as if to say he's heard me but isn't listening also he's engrossed and I swear it's amazing. We steal a few glances every now and then and blushing like teenage girls when we catch the other doing it. When the first one ends I ask if he wants to watch the next one which he gladly accepts, midway through the next one I see his eyes start to drop slightly as our mine "Darlin you still with me?"

"Mhm", he shakes his head a little and rubs his eyes trying to look more awake as he continues watching, his eyes still slowly dropping every few moments

"Darlin, we can watch this tommrow if you like, your tired ", I pause the episode and wait for him to reply as I yawn myself.

"I was enjoy it though" . He pours at me like a petulant child hoping I'd continue to play it but I can't keep him up and we both need sleep

"We can come back to it tommrow Darlin get your head down and we can get some sleep yeh?"

"Okay then if you say so". He moves his laptop to the other side of his bed so he can get properly comfortable in bed and lays down on his pillow his eyes shutting almost instantly "goodnight love" he blows me a kiss and turns over.

"Good night darlin" , I watch his back rise and fall for a little while hopefully he's asleep because I really need to talk to Ross. Once he's sure I'm asleep. I pick up my phone and send Ross a quick text to check if he's awake "DEFCON 5 ROSS , DEFCON 5". I move my laptop onto the other side of my bed also and sit up a little bit. A text from Ross doesn't take to long to come back "call me then dickhead"

I quickly pull him up on the offer and click the call button and bring the phone to my ear and start biting my nails while I wait for him to answer which doesn't take to long to come through.

"What's up ?" , he sounds a little groggy like I awoke him up.

"Did I wake you ?"

"No I'm just tired but I was on call with John and saw your message and thought I should call you", told you hes a fuckin gem "so what's up Matty?"

"I think I'm down bad Ross , like really down bad" , I continue bitting on my nails which makes the senatnce come out a little mumbled but he still catches onto what I'm saying.

"For George?", the fact that Ross remembers his name is a good start.

"Mhm" is all I can muster up the strength to say right now.

"What do you want me to do about it. I don't know him, Just talk to him Matty, he's seems like a good bloke"

"But how do I tell him"

"With your words Matty , you know use your voice box that thing that I've never known for you to close since I met you , you numpty" , I roll my eyes at this response because it's the most Ross response I have ever heard to a question

"But what do I say I meant , you dickead"

"Just tell him you like him or something I don't know"

"Much help Ross much help"

"Man honestly just go for it, if he makes you happy just let him know , I'm made up for you lad but you need to take the steps for yourself and I'm sure if he's a grand bloke he'll like you too why shouldn't he?"

"I don't know , he seems to like me but I'm scared it's to early"

"It might be , but all you can do is talk it through bro its can't go too wrong right ?"

"I'll try , anyway, I'll let you get back to your lover man ey , don't do anything I wouldn't yeh?" , I can physically feel him rolling his eyes at me.

"Ha-ha , very funny , but alright lad , I'll see you tommrow yeh?, and we can talk about it tommrow"

"Alright see ya"

"See you tommrow lad" , we both hand up and i through my phone into charge after I sent my alarm for school, with this I lay down properly and pull my blanket up to my chin to feel the warmth engulf me and I go back to watching George's back rise and fall . Which helps lul me to sleep. But what I didn't realise was while I was having Thai conversation George wasn't fully asleep yet and heard everything and was just laying there with the biggest grin on his face.

STAFU , You Can’t Show Me This And Expect Me To Be Normal About It

hard launch

Right I am actually not having a fuckin giggle rn I swear I walked past John Waugh like an hour ago and I didn’t fully realise it was him till I was past him and felt to awkward going back wtaf is my life

This is just a simple one shot I thought of the other day while I was working it’s not all that good I can 100% understand that , but I hope it’s enjoyable , it’s just a cute little story of George taking care of an upset Matty and helping him , I’m sorry it’s a little jumpy but I hope you like it.

“Matty I swear you better answer your phone “

That was the last thing I send him about an hour ago, I’m now in the back of an Uber on my way to his place, worry coursing through me as he hasn’t been at rehearsal for almost a week and none of us have heard from him since we got back 3 weeks ago. We know he’s not doing great but we’ve been trying to help but he’s not making it easy. This drive to his feels like the longest drive I swear , I’m tapping away at my legs getting more anxious every time we stop. I keep checking my phone just to be sure he hasn’t texted I know he won’t but I need to check either way.

When I arrive at his, I basically run up to his door checking under the plant pit for the spare key and quietly enter just to be sure I don’t accidentally startle him. As I’m heading through the house I see a scattering of mugs everywhere that’s nothing new none of them are empty either again nothing new. The thing that’s putting me off his bow quiet it is in here. It’s never quiet, there’s usually always some type of noise or loudness coming from somewhere in the house. “Hey Matty, where are ya”, he’s not anywhere I’ve check so far , the smart option would be that he’s in his bedroom bits it’s past midday so I assume he’d have at least been awake but I guess not. I head to his room and slightly nudge the door open there’s a small lump in the bed and the sheets are in a heap, as I step closer that’s when I notice that he’s still asleep hair strewn over the pillow such a mess, he’s got clothes on so that’s a start he’s not naked. I spot his suitcase in the corner he hasn’t even unpacked yet , it’s open and there clothes spilling out from it like he’s looked for something in the suitcase but hasn’t made an attempt to put his stuff away. Now I’m stiff next to the bed and I’m shaking him a little “Come on Matty, it’s like 2pm , there’s no way you can still be asleep” still nothing so I shake him a little harder this time. He jumps awake and pulls away

“G…George “, is eyes taking a second to adjust to the light squinting as he rubs his eyes “why are you here?”

“Mate , what’s up with you , you haven’t been to rehearsals and no one’s heard from ya , I came to see if you where okay” , I sat on the side of the bed next to him trying to work out if he’s doing okay , he looks a bit pale and his stubble is starting to grow “like honestly what’s up?”

He racks his hand back through his greasy hair and lays back down “just feel like shit G” , I don’t know if he means physically or mentally but either way I need to help him so I shake him up a little again.

“Come on Matty , let’s get you up”, he shake his head only a little though and pulls the blanket around himself turning away from me. “Come on, you’ll feel better if you shower”, I pull the duvet off of him and wrap my arms around his small frame trying to pick him up , but he’s making it a little hard slightly flailing about and asking me to put him down.”Then get up yourself lazy bones , and hop in the shower , I’ll help you wash your hair if you want”. A shit eating grin appears on his face at the mention of me washing his hair, he loves it when someone else washes his hair. I let him go this time letting him drop the small distance back the bed “Come on needy”. I rise from the bed and offer him my hand which he grabs and I drag him through to the en-suite

He’s stood there in the bathroom looking tiny and frail “Have you eaten since you got back Matty?”, he lets out a small whimper with a shrug “a little not much I guess then aye”, he nods at my response, “come on off with these”, I gesture towards his T-shirt and jogging pants. He slowly starts to take off his clothes I make my way around him and get the shower going checking the temperature to make sure it’s warm enough then remove my shirt as I guide him slowly under the shower listening to him sigh as the heat reaches his body “that’s it mate get yourself cleaned up , I’ll wait just out here until your ready for me to do your hair okay”, he nods slowly. I close up the shower door and sit on the sink taking my phone out texting the boys letting them know that I’m here with Matty and that I’ll get him sorted. After a couple of minutes I here his call for me

“I’m ready G” , with that I step back into the shower with him ignoring that my jeans will get soaked as he passes me the shower gel , I lather it up in my hands waiting until it’s really soapy and start rubbing my hands through his hair, Matty leans against me as I massage his scalp making sure I get it all in, “So what’s been going on then Matty?”

“Just haven’t felt great in my head lately and I didn’t want to bother you guys”, his eyes are currently closed as he’s leaning against my shoulder and humming away when I find a place that he likes “I’m sorry, I know I should have said but I was just too in m head”, I slowly guide him back under the water to rinse off the soap

“Matty, you know you can always tell us when something is wrong, do you want help cleaning the house up or some food first?”, I don’t expect him to answer straight away as he’s under the water and I’m just stood watching him relax fully under the water.

We both exit the shower at the same time and I throw him one of the softest towels from the cupboard under the sink and tell him to get wrapped up and warm “I don’t want to go out just yet so can we maybe clean up first”, he lead him back to the bedroom and sit him back onto the bed and ruffle through the clothes in his suitcase stopping when I come across a T-shirt I know we both love and his skinny black jeans and I give them to him “put these on yeh and we can get to cleaning, I’ll be down stairs doing the dishes when your ready okay”, he nods at me softly as I pat his cheeks , with a smile and make my way back downstairs picking up mugs on the cabinets on my way down.

Down stairs there’s not coffee cups scattered around the place after picking them all up and loading up the sink, I start filling it up with water and look for the dish soup I finally find it on the window sill of course it’s the lemon one , I shake my head at him , I begin cleaning the dishes up and wait for him to come down. after some time he appears at the kitchen door “Alright G”, he still looks small but a little more awake than before

“How you feeling Matty ?, pass me that pan in the hob yeh?”, he doubters over the hob, brings me the pan and sits up on the counter next to me

“Everything is a little fuzzy if I’m honest G , I don’t know when the feeling started and I know you guys have been texting me all week to come to rehearsal but I just couldn’t even get out of bed, it just felt like something was pushing on my chest pushing me down and I was stuck there for days, and the only thing that I was able to get up for was coffee, I don’t even want to face people right now” , he’s flailing his arms , not really gesturing at anything , being as Matty about it as possible as he continues to talk. “I do miss you guys and I wanted to be there I promise but It was just hard to do”

“It’s alright Matty , we understand , we really do, I just wanted to check up on you didn’t I”, I finish up washing the dishes and wipe my hands down on my jeans placing my hands on his knees and kiss his head “I missed you too love”, I pull him into a hug finally letting him be close to me and rub my hands up and down his back “you can let it all out now” , This is when he starts to sob onto my shoulder, having held it back since I came in. I know that he needs to let it out. “What’s for dinner then , Maccies?” , He looks up at my face this time with another grin that nearly split his face

“Your driving though right ?” , I nod to him smiling back at him , and pull him from the counter letting him run off to put on his shoes , at this I run back upstairs to grab my shirt I took off in the shower ealier. Once I’ve retrieved it and Matty has his shoes on,We both run outside and hop into his car and race off to maccies. It’s quite a quiet journey, but I just let him rest there with his head on the window looking small as he sits in the passenger seat. When we get to the drive through , I wait there for Matty to ask the employee for his order but he’s not opening his mouth just shaking his head at me “can you just do it G please”

I shake my head and smile at his petulance , after ordering a quarter cheese burger meal for myself I order Matty a Double cheese burger , large strawberry milkshake , apple pie and a Latte. He’s smiling at me now “you always remember my order”

“After so many years of knowing you and what you like why would I forgot , you’ll start with the burger get bored of it after what 3 bites you’ll give it to me and fill up on the pie and milkshake and leave the coffee till last and complain when it’s cold”, I smile at him now once we finish paying for the order and are waiting to receive it , while we’re waiting I hand him a cigarette and my lighter “I know you must be gagging for one by now” , he takes them from me smiling like a child in a candy shop and when I get the order I hand it to him also I then drive into the car park and smile , taking my time to watch him grab his things and hand the back back to me I take hold of the wheel and smile “where to miss??” , mocking the titanic , a film we watched for the 100the time while away on tour before we came back, this made him laugh like mad

“Jesus G, I don’t think Leo would be very happy that your stealing his Rizz , but uh anywhere drive wherever you’d like” , and just like I said he would while slurping on his milkshake he takes approximately three bites of his burger and is handing it to me with those big pleading eyes of his “take it , I don’t want it”, and gleefully opens the pie box, “although these I could eat all day”.

I smile at this because although he may seem mysterious to the rest of the world , I can read this man like a damn book “thanks”, after taking the burger in my hand , I drive off , thinking I’ll take him to the beach , there’s a football in the back of his car, it’s been in there for years so maybe a kick about will do him some good , “footie?”

He takes a few drags of his cigarette and continues to slurp on his milkshake and nods his head vigorously “that sounds great, thank you G”

Chapter 25

Word count : 2917

This chapter contains , a lot of mention of drugs and drug use , anxiety and being high

This chapter is written in a slightly different style I hope you enjoy but please give me feedback if you prefer it the other way or this way. It's not to much different just more clear demographics of who is typing when it comes to texting I suppose but yeh I'd still love some feedback that would be grandly appreciated ❤️

Matty's POV

It really wasn't George's fault that I got so worked up over a single question he was just trying to help, and I genuinely am so grateful for him and everything he does for me but I'm fragile and my state of mind is so frail , has been for the longest time and certain stuff sets me off, George left the call a few hours ago his Mum came home so he had to go talk to her about what happened at school and then I think he got caught up with studying, we're texting but I still feel like I'm going to explode my anxiety has been through the roof since he's been gone, I meant it earlier when I told him he calms me, he's like the literal embodiment of Pablo Picasso's painting of the Dove of Peace that represents peace and unity, maybe a little pretentious of me but it's true , he's like a lighthouse in a storm if you may.

I'm currently sat with my Mum, Dad and Louis , watching Star Wars , my Mum thought it would be good if we all spend sometime together, When she got home from work she could tell I was hopped up and skittish, she did try to speak to me but I said I was fine but she insisted we all spent some time together. Really all I want to do is go get high or drunk at this point I don't really mind which option is pulling me in most. My mum had poured herself a class of red wine before we started the film and it's all that's been on my mind since I sat down, I doubt I'll be allowed anything, my dad usually offers me a beer but right now I don't think they'll let me and Louis is sat on my knee and I don't want to disturb him, I'm biting my nails now trying to concentrate on the film and not the ticking of the clocks in the room that are surely just going to blow my brain up in a minute.

"Matthew", my Mum brought me out of my haze.

"Mhm", my reply was muffled by my mouth still chewing on my nails.

"Hands", I look at her quizzically for a second as I don't quite know what she means, "stop chewing your nails love", my hands drops from my mouth immediately

"Sorry Mum" , I carefully lift Louis of my knee must to his protest and ruffle his hair, "my eads really cloudy right now I can't concentrate, I'm just going to lay down for a little while, I'm sorry".

"You alright son", I just nod at my dad with a halfhearted smile and make my way upstairs the quiet of my own room and head probably won't be much better but I just need to be alone. I make it to my room and just slump down on my bed the duvet felt to soft but also really scratchy but there's nothing I can do about that right now, I feel like I was just laying there staring at the ceiling, falling into a spiralling vortex with nowhere to go but it was really only a couple of minutes. My hands where twitching like mad and I could just feel a tingling sensation through my whole body and I hated it. I knew what I needed right about now so I instantly pull my phone free from my pocket and scroll through my texts till I find his number

Corey (Bigman) , If I could trust anyone to have anything to quell my anxiety Corey would have it so I fire him a quick text

Matty: yo it's Matty , are you about!

Corey : yeh bro 😎, what you after?

Matty: I don't know just something to calm me the fuck down.

Corey : right no worries man, meet me at the oak in ten yeh don't be late.

Matty: cool.

I sit up a little resting on my elbows to keep me steady taking a second to just breath or at least try to relax my breathing, then scrub my hands down my face and go back downstairs "I'm gunna go for a walk clear my ead, I'll be back in a bit yeh, it's only about 8, I'll get something from the shop if you want", I pull on my old tattered black vans and I wait for a response and shove my wallet into my back pocket , stick my head round the door and notice that Louis has fully zonked out on the couch "do you guys want anything from the shop?"

"No thanks love, please be safe, call me if you need anything and don't be long alright, I know it's summer and it's light out but you still need to careful , come give your mum a hug first first" , I roll my eyes and smile while I make my way over and pull my Mum into a tight hug. "We love you Matthew , be careful alright"

"I love you too Mum" as I pull away I try to sent the most reassuring smile her way. "I'm alright though" , I say goodbye again leaving the room and snag my jacket (Jamie's jacket ), from the coat rack and slip out the door, and start the journey to the Oak Hill, on my way I send a Snapchat to George not really of anything just the scenery and just put a little heart on the screen before sending. The walk is peaceful really besides a few hoodlam kids across the other side of the road making the biggest ruckus for absolutely no reason but I ignore it. After about five minutes I get a reply from George a pretty artsy picture of all his school books on his desk

George: where you off to love❤️?

Again I don't really send a snap because if I'm going to show him around Manchester I want to do it in person not through a screen or pictures , Pictures rarely do anything justice

Matty: just on a walk darlin , tryna clear my head , how's the enforced studying going 😂

George: it's an absolute nightmare honestly I don't know how people do this on purpose , clearing your head are you still upset?

Matty: honestly yeh my heads all over the place still but it's okay I'm trying to calm down darlin , also I can 100% feel your there studying is the worst thing about of school 😂

George: I'll call you once my parents go to bed I'll just need a minute to be sure so I don't get caught, I miss your face already love.

I quickly skim read his message again and slip my phone in my pocket and turn the corner coming face to face with Corey, he's got a joint in between his lips and I can see he's holding another in his hands with a lighter next to him. He looks up at me nodding and hands me the joint

"Have this with me first lad then I can hook you up with gear yeh"

I willingly take the joint and quickly flick the lighter a couple of times before the end lights up sparking an amber glow and I inhale the contents deeply sighing as I release "This is good shit"

"Quite strong so It might calm you down lad" he pats the ground next to him indicating for me to sit with him, I pull him up in the offer and slide myself next to him. Watching as he fiddles with my gear in his pocket and passes it over to me. "You given me good weed recently too lad so I'll give you this for free, but please be careful", I nod along with him as I take the baggie from him and slip it into my pocket. "What's up lad, you haven't come to me in a while, what's troubling ya.?"

"My heads all over the place and I can't shut anything up, I just want everything to be quiet for a bit, be able to breath you know" , I continue to inhale the substance and then go back to texting George as Corey starts trying to help me through something, he's not the smartest button in the box. I take a picture of the joint in my hand the flash causing the smoke to seem grey and float across my screen

Matty: "I fuckin miss you too man Jesus , it's not even been that long and it's scary, and yeh please don't get yourself into anymore trouble, we can call when you can , I don't know if I'll be home straight away but I'll let you know yeh"

With that I slip my phone into my pocket and pull the baggie out again "you wanna share it then Corey, I don't mind" , as I'm saying this I pull out my credit card from my wallet and preparing what I need , the oak is a very secluded area no one will catch us, I don't even know if it's an oak tree to be honest it's just a tree on the outskirts of the park that's been chopped down and just lying there , kids come here all the time to drink and party in summertime. I take a bump from the coke from the corner of my card letting it take through my body, it makes me shiver a little, and I then pass the stuff over to Corey as I feel my blood start to heat up a little. I take a seat leaning against the trunk of the tree and lol my head backwards and stare up to the sky, the starts looking like tiny torchlights leading the way to the heavens and they spin around us slowly , after a while Corey sits next to me

“So man , is it working is your head quieting down yet bro ?”, come to think of it it has a little, there’s still that anxious lump in my throat and my heart is still going a million miles a minute but my brain is a little quieter. A little foggy but quiet.

“It’s a little foggy and everything is still really grey and colourless but yeh it’s quiet”

“What had you so hopped up in the first place lad”, he pulls more papers out his pockets and starts rolling another joint as I close my eyes and let the world go on around me talking as i fall into a peaceful state of bliss

“I don’t wanna talk about right now” , once Corey finished rolling the joint he passes it over to me and I light up again bringing it to my lips inhaling then ask “bro got any drink on ya”

“I’ve got beer in my bag”

“That’ll do , not the best but it’ll do”, he pulls a can of carlins from his bag and passes me a can as well as opening a can for himself. “Bro how do you always just know what I need”, He’s known me a while now and always been able to set me up some good gear when I’ve needed it.

“I just know you bro”, we just spend some time drinking and smoking, we did a few more bumps of coke. It has been about an hour and a half at this point my brain had stopped racing everything was quiet and I was getting really tired. Corey was zoned out next to me and I was nearly half asleep. “I think imma go now lad, are you coming or are you just gunna sit for a bit”

“Nah man I’m good ay, just leave me one last can will ya”, I didn’t feel like what I said was actually how it came out, everything was slurred and just blending together as I said it but I’m sure he understood. “Thanks again Corey, you always have what I need when I need help”

“It’s cool bro don’t worry”, he got up from his place on the ground probably at a normal speed but too me it looked like everything was in slow motion and he dropped his last can next to me. “Be safe yeh”, after we said our goodbyes he walked off back in the direction of the park.

I don’t know how much longer I sat there just nursing the beer that was left for me , but eventually I started to feel like I was sinking into the ground my heart started beating faster, a lot faster than normal which started to freak me out a little. Causing my breathing to come in fast burst. This makes me open my eyes and everything around me spinning , making my head hurt “not again nah I can’t do this right now” , I pull my phone out and start stabbing at my screen trying to find someone’s number, anyone’s number I don’t care who at this point. The more I search the more I start to panic I hate this. Eventually my eyes fall on Ross’ name and I click his name and bring the phone to my ear and hear it ring a few times and it goes to voicemail “no, no, no , please pick up”, I press his name again hearing the ringer go through again “please Ross pick up” , I’m beyond panic at this moment and I can’t concentrate right. Eventually he does pick up

“Yo Matty what is it?”

“Ross , is that you!”

“Uh yeh , you called me so I’d assume you know”

“Ross I’m scared I need you, can you come get me please”

“What do you mean you scared , where are you!?”

“I can’t breath and my brain feels like it’s going to explode”

“Matty mate , where are you?”

“Um …I …I’m at the. Uh the oak”

“Okay lad, I’ll be five minutes, do you want me to stay on the phone”

“Please…Ross please make it stop”, I could hear him on the other side, pulling on his jacket and his keys rattling as he pulled his door shut.

“What did you do mate?”

“I just needed my brain to shut up for a second, nothing was working, I needed it stop…and and…and it did…but now I can’t …can’t breath”

“Matty ….I swear you need to tell me , what did you take” , he’s outside now I can hear the crunching of leaves under his feet , Ross’ house was just around the corner so he shouldn’t be too long.

“How long will you be?”

“Stop swirving lad what did you take?”

“Um I uh. I …the usual” , I could feel water running down my face now, I don’t know when I stared crying but apparently I had.

“Mate , seriously , what’s wrong?, I’m just round the corner”

“I don’t know what’s wrong Ross, I really don’t know” , as I was finishing that senatnce I could hear him trudging through the forested area behind me but I couldn’t lift my head properly for to long “is …is that you ?”

“Yes , I’m going to hang up now”

I heard the dial tone give out and then Ross was running over to me “let’s get you up okay …on three yeh”, he wrapped an arm around me and he tried to pull me up “1, 2 , 3” , I pushed a little as he pulled me up. “Where going back to mine okay?, you can’t go home like this”, I just subtly nodded because even just slightly moving my head hurt so much, he wrapped and my arm around his shoulders and we began to walk back to his in silence which didn’t feel good but I just couldn’t conjure up a sentance.

We stumbled through his front door, I could hear his mum calling from the bedroom asking what was wrong and he just told her that I was out and I’m a bit pissed so I’m staying here rather than going home that made me chuckle not in a good way “bit pissed as if”

“Bro this ain’t funny come one,” we made our was upstairs he dragged me along with him taking one step at a time. It was hard even just walking never mind conquering stairs “where do you need to go , lay down or vomit”

“Nah nah I just need a lie down” , he pulled me into his bedroom and helped me up to then bed and he sat next to me softly pulling my head into his lap and laying against the headboard

“What are we gunna do with you huh?”

I have a confession as a self proclaimed lover of anything Matty Healy

I think I may fancy George Daniel more ☺️

This is the very latest chapter of my fanfic I've only posted a snippet of the beginning then this but its jus teasers if people want read the whole thing just le me know

This part gives me "Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You" vibes and I love it so darn much

Matty's POV

I slept through the night again, I can't really confirm wether my dreams were good or bad but I slept and I feel great. It's a bit cold since I didn't sleep with much on so I pull my blanket around me George is still there fast asleep bless him , I know he'll have to be awake soon enough but I don't want to wake him up he's so pretty just asleep although there's not much of it his hair is draped across the pillow and he's pretty much holding the duvet too his chin so sweet. Right on que Lou comes bouldering into my room "oh your awake today". I sit up and rub my eyes the room is still a little bit blurry as I've just woken up

"Yeh sweet one I'm awake but we have to be quiet , Matty's friend is sleeping okay" as I tell him we have to be quiet I put my finger to his lips indicating that we have to shush. He then climbs onto my bed and sits on my legs like he's sitting on my knees "how are you this morning kiddo ?" . I ask him as I pull him into a hug.

He settles into my hug and plays with the hair on the nape of my neck "I'm still a little bit sleepy, but I've got school don't I?", he turns to look at my screen and looks at me pointing to the screen "who's that ?"

"That's just Maffu's friend George" , I smile at him still just laying there , then look at Louis I ruffle his hair he looks a little confused but what can you say he's a kid "what's up kid?"

"Why did you just call him if he's sleepin ?", A childs innocence is so lovely to me. Not understanding the world fully.

"We were talking last night and we just feel asleep that's all kiddo, but Maffu has to get dressed for school now, do you want my help getting you ready or can you do it like a big boy ?"

"Can you help ?" , I ruffle his hair and hug him into me a little again and let him go to get his uniform , while he's away I quickly find a T-shirt to put on before he comes back. He comes back a few moments later with his uniform bundled in his arms, he's so grown up I can't deal with it

"Come on then, come ere, did you brush your teeth?" , he looks at me and smiles , which is a tell tale sign that he hasn't yet but will try to say he has, I know that trick to well im the king of that one "Come on Maffu will do it with you" . I take his uniform and place it on my bed, lift him up and take him to my bathroom , I keep a toothbrush in my en-suite for him because he does like to do his with me sometimes, he gets his little stool and drags it over to the sink so he can see in the mirror when he brushes. He's like me he likes to watch himself no matter what he's doing. "What do we need first?", I know what we need obviously but I'm helping him learn.

"We need toothpaste silly", he stretches over the sink and grabs the toothpaste and our brushes and hands me mine, "it's got to be only a little bit though not to much only small" . He's so cute, I put the toothpaste onto his brush and then my own . He then starts brushing and I join in. I watch him brush while I do, I can't believe how grown up he's gotten, he's so little still but sooo grown up and it makes me want to cry. We brush for the amount of time your supposed to then we rinse again obviously.

" want me to brush your hair too". I pick up my brush and the gel but he shakes his head and jumps down from the stool and pushes it back into the corner

"Mummy doesn't brush my hair until after I'm dressed Maffu". That would make sense, he runs back throough to my room as I follow after him, He stands awkwardly waiting for me. I begin to get him dressed trousers first and he stops me before I do up his button. "I can do it" , I let him do it for himself , next is his polo shirt and he does the same again I get it on for him and he does up his own buttons, then he pulls his jumper on. Arghh that's my little brother right there he's so smart. "You can brush my hair now , can you make it like yours?" . We trundle back through to my bathroom and I start brushing his hair making sure there's no tiny knots in it , and then rub in a little bit of gel and slick it back a little bit, It can't be exactly like mine as he's got a full head of hair mine is a mullet but I try

"Is that good for you", he's smiling in the mirror so I can tell he's happy with it , he then spots my glasses on the sink where I left them yesterday and he puts them on. I smile at him, there too big for him so they keep sliding down but he persists. "Take a picture" I quickly grab my phone from the bedroom making sure we haven't woken George up but he's still sound asleep it's nearly 7 so assume he will be soon. I open Snapchat and take a picture of us in the mirror , he's standing with his tongue out and making the little rocker kid sign his hands they are so small my god, I save it and let him see "yes I like it"

"I like it too kid , should we send it too daddy, for when he gets to work"

"And show mummy, can I show mummy?"

"In a moment yeh" , I send it to George captioned "Morning from us G", I then select the picture again in my memories and give it to him so he can go show Mum. This will give me sometime to get myself ready, I hop into the shower after I strip down and give myself a quick clean up washing the events of yesterday off of me and relaxing in the heat, I only take about ten minutes because I'm sure Louis will be back anytime soon, then I wrap a towel around myself after getting out , I hear an alarm going off in my room must be George. I'll let him wake before I go see him so I do my hair brushing it to get all the knots out I have far more knots in mine than Louis did, mine is much curlier than his. I spray myself with some deodorant and some aftershave then look in my cupboard for my contacts but I can't seem to find them "oh well, I'll just ave to wear my glasses", I pad through to my room pulling out some clean boxers and some clean trousers and pull them on then I decide it's finally time to go see George , I jump onto my bed careful not to just to hard incase I brake it again "Good Morning" , he's smiling at his phone I guess he's opening the snap, I start to blush again even though he's not looking at me but the fact he's smiling at our picture it's making me feel things.

"Good morning love, did you get your brother dressed ?" He shows the picture to me still smiling like a twat "who's glasses are they ?"

"There mine, he likes to wear them a lot makes him feel like me , he likes to be like me as you can probably tell from the picture", I get back up to get my shirt and blazer, then to pack my rucksack for today double checking maybe even triple checking that I have everything I need today , going over it in my head , History , French , English and Art not a terrible day today the only thing I can't find is my art folder but I think my mum maybe has it, she likes looking at what I do

"Can I save it" he sounds further away from the camera as I can't hear him as clear he must be getting dressed too , once I've got myself completely ready I sit back down on the bed. Putting my shoes on , it makes me smile when he asks and I blush again

"Yeh if you like". I'll have to resend it as I'm sure it's already gone from the snap as there not on that long , so I do. Then Louis comes back into my room mid way through a game I believe since he's not really paying much attention and he's just stood at the door with my phone, Once he's finished playing what I assume is a level on angry birds he comes bounding over and hands me it back and my glasses, "Thanks kiddo , you can say good morning to Georgie now he's awake"

"Good Morning George" , he's stood there stood at the side of my bed waving at the camera I can see he has his shoes on but there not tied "How about I tie those for you Kid ?" He jumps up onto the bed and he puts one foot on my leg as I quickly start tying it. I can see in my peripheral that George has come back into the screen and is actually wearing his uniform today and he's smiling at me waving at Louis who's just blindly staring at him. "Next one" he replaces his foot with the other and I tie that one too. He then jumps back down off the bed after waving goodbye to George and stands looking at me "Do I look just like you Maffu" , I wipe my glasses clean and place them on for the first time in what four days and smile at him while telling him he does and he leaves again. I was right my glasses do enhance everything and any light that's in my room reaches my retinas tenfold but I try to get used to it. It's just George and I again

"Your good with him", he's just watching me trying to adjust to my glasses and the screen is a little blurry but I can still make everything out, it's already giving me a sore head this won't be good but I have to wear them.

"I did say we were inseparable didn't I"

"That you did" , he gets up and starts packing his bag none of his things are in folders and he just has papers upon papers piled in his bag which is the most typical 16 year old bag just a black Nike bag , he's wearing a shirt and tie with black trousers like most uniforms but he's still wearing a black hoodie and red vans that's a bold choice but I love it , I can hear movement on his side that isn't coming from his room and he turns to me "I'll have to go now Matty , my mum will want to make sure I'm ready but I'll message you on my way to school yeh ?"

"Yeh that sounds good" I smile at him and wave "See you later darlin"

"Talk later love" he waved and the then the call ended. Leaving me alone for the first time in maybe 8 hours, it's weird I miss him the minute he's gone but I can do it. I pick up my rucksack and a few fags and a joint or two and then exit my room waiting for my mother to bombard me with questions

"Good morning sweetheart" . I walk over to my mother and kiss her on the cheek Louis is sitting eating coco pops and I put my rucksack on the chair beside him and begin making some food. Just toast but it's something and my mother is looking at me weirdly.

"Good morning mum , how are you this morning" , she hands me a mug of coffee which I am internally great full for and sits down across from Lou making sure he isn't getting milk all over his clean uniform. I too sit down once my toast is ready and make my way through it. It's only a slice but I do it. My mother starts telling me about how her night was and her plans for today after she takes Louis to school and asking if I'm going to manage today , to make sure to message her if I need to leave but I tell her I'll be fine that I've got Jamie in a few of my classes today and that's it's not a bad day today. After I've finished my coffee I kiss Louis on the head and say goodbye to both of them and leave for school feeling great for the first time in a while

Meet me at the record store - M.H x f!reader

A/N: based on this request. Scared to death about the man lurking here but i want this blurb out. Hope you like it guys! Healy stay away.

Word count: 0.8 K

She admired his side profile. Matty was wearing his black ray-ban’s, his curls in all display, trying to tell her all the stories that the corners of Manchester roads came to his mind. She was trying hard to follow the stories, but looking at him so excited around his home town took her attention.

Matty took a drag of his cig, stopping in front of a shop located at a lateral road. He turned his body to stare at the shop’s window, admiring the display they had on.

“Oh, I thought this place was gone.” he said, squeezing her hand.

“Love the theme.”

Matty turned to look at her, throwing the cig away, moving his sunglasses to rest on the top of his head, “Do you want to go in?” he offered. “We used to come here all the fuckin’ time.”

“Yeah, let's go.” she took the lead, and drag him through the door.

The shop was small. Tables all around with vinyls, CDs and also cassettes decorated them. There wasn’t a stop on the walls without a poster. The place called you to get lost for hours inside.

A young man greeted them, arranging himself on his chair behind the front desk, “Hello friends, what can I do for you?”

“We’re going to snoop around, mate. Thanks.” Matty spoke, letting him know they’re alright.

“Dope.” the man answered, not bother about them. She watched him going back to rest on the chair, plugging in his headphones and watching the few people walking outside.

Matty went to the back of the shop, even though it was a few feet away from her. She tugged her chin in, searching through all the vinyls. She smirked when a very interesting one showed up.

She turned around, staring at Matty’s back. “Look what I found.” she called him.

The singer returned to her side, rounding her waist with his arm. ABIIOR’s vinyls was presented before them. Matty hid his face on her shoulder, groaning. “Oh, someone is shy now.” she teased him.

“Shut up.”

“I remember the first time I listened to it.” she started recalling, reading the list of songs.

“Do you?”

“Mhm.”

“And?”

She shook her head, “I’m not going to stroke your ego any more, Healy.”

“You already do…dating me.” Matty forced her to look at him, placing his hand on his cheek. He was really close, making her stomach flip.

They hadn’t been dating for a few months, but everything was working amazing between them. She felt like they’ve known each other for ages, even though every time he kissed her it felt like the first time.

She sighed, “Impossible.”

Matty let her go, looking how she tugged the vinyl under her arm. His cheeks feeling warmer. She continued admiring all the old records in front of her, choosing one of her favourites Queen’s albums.

“Look…” Matty broke the silence around them. He lifted high an Oasis CD, making her giggle.

“You already have it!” she whined.

“No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, you do.”

Matty opened the case, “But this is special edition.” he tried to justify himself.

“I can keep it for you…in my house.” she offered.

Matty made eye contact, saying suggestively, “I’d have to visit you every day. Y’know, you can't live without listening to Oasis every day…” he moved closer.

“Right, very convincing.” she shielded herself with the vinyls pressed on her chest.

Matty handed the CD to her, “Here.”

“I was kidding, babe.” she titled her head.

“I want you to have it, baby.” he moved it to accentuate he was serious about it.

“You’re so cute.” his girlfriend took it, going to leave a kiss on his cheek.

After they managed to bring the owner back to reality, he started passing the items under the scanner.

“Total is…” the man let them know. Matty was fast to take his wallet out, although she stopped him, placing her hand on his.

“No.”

“Of course, yes.” he moved his wallet around, offering the man the bills.

“Matty!”

“Y/n, drop it.” he said.

She huffed, because he always insisted on buying stuff for her. Matty pinched her cheek sweetly, after putting his wallet away.

“You two make a cute couple.” the man absently says, staring at them.

“Thanks mate.”

“She’s out of your league, though, dude.” she couldn’t help to laugh out loud.

Matty blushed, “I know that.” he said, feeling exposed.

“Okay, here…” the man gave her the bag with her new records. “Good choices, by the way. This one, ‘the 1975’ is from here, old Manny, y’know?” Matty stared at the man, shocked by his words. His girlfriend trying really hard to not laugh and expose him.

“Yes, I’m a big fan.” she managed to speak.

“Amazing!” his eyes opening with excitement. “Thanks for buying!”

“Bye.”

“Thanks.”

The couple walked away from the shop. She really wanted to laugh about the surreal moment, but stopped herself.

“Nice guy.” she mocked him.

“Don’t.” Matty stopped her, grabbing her hand on his.

She pushed her body to his side, laughing and mumbling, “Let’s go for a coffee, star.” stressing the last word.

casino matty bluetooth vibe i'm having visions

anything for you mads xx

your arms are braced tightly against the sink. you're leaning down, breathing raggedly and mouth tightening to avoid making a sound. your muscles spasm and tighten as you come for nearly the hundredth time. you lost count ages ago. it's practically all just a blur of pleasure now, orgasms occurring in rapid succession.

you turn around to look towards the group and find matty's gaze already on yours, taunting and glinting with delicious cruelty. he return to dealing the cards and conversing with the players, but you see the grin on his face and his tongue sticking out against his bottom lip cheekily.

you focus hard to tune into the conversation at hand, and nearly collapse with relief when you hear the group mentioning that this would be their last game.

you're practically a zombie, moving on auto-pilot as pleasure consumes you completely. you feel the vibrator suddenly increase in speed, and you have to clasp a hand to your mouth to prevent moaning.

your eyes are clenched impossibly tight. you fight to open them and see matty grinning at your suffering with his hand in his pocket, the group chatting and slowly packing up their things.

you turn around and walk back towards the sink, unable to muster the strength to speak with them. the vibrator continues at the faster pace as you pretend to clean dishes to the noises of the group leaving and saying their goodbyes.

you hear matty's boots step along the floor as he approaches you, and you're so overstimulated that when he reaches out to embrace you, tears begin to stream down your face. you breathe in his familiar scent, and collapse into his chest as he holds you up.

you shake in his arms as he coos, his ring-clad hand stroking your hair. you sniffle against his shirt, and your arms reach out to claw against him, desperate to brace yourself against something.

he reaches down to tip your chin up to him, looking down at you with reverence. you think he might tell you did well, give you a kiss before removing the vibrator, and walking you back to your room.

instead, he grins, deadly and bright. "one more time for me, princess," he tells you.

you nearly burst into tears once more. you shake your head vehemently, stammering "no, no, matty, please, i can't-"

"shhh, love. what did i say about the backtalk?" your mind flashes back lying over his lap, gazing at the bruises of his initialed ring against your skin, his soft voice matched with his deliciously hard strikes.

he gazes into your eyes for a moment, waiting for you to utter the word you know will make him stop immediately. but you don't. you'd never stop this in a million years, and he knows that just as well.

"yes, sir" you nod, defeated and near tears once more.

"good girl," matty says, pressing a kiss to your hair. he reaches into his pocket and turns the vibrator up one final time. if you had the ability to think, you'd be surprised it could increase anymore. but your mind is long gone, overwhelmed with pleasure and stimulation. your blood is burning, the feeling of the vibrations driving you nearly mad.

matty's arms hold tight around you as you tremble, your chest rising up and down rapidly. you claw at his back uselessly, and your legs nearly give out below you. you can feel his gaze upon you, watching your blissed out expression with rapt, predatory attention.

that coil deep within you begins to tighten once more, and as he mutters, "that's it, good girl," your orgasm overtakes you. your body is limp, and you lie like a doll in his arms. you feel his hands trace against your skin as he murmurs praise in your ear.

a dopey smile overtakes your face as you lie still, overwhelmed with the pleasure and the feeling of him. you lean into him, and use the ounce of strength you have remaining to press a kiss to where his shirt exposes his chest.

one of his hands caresses softly from your waist to your core. you let out a whimper as he brushes over your overstimulated clit and carefully removes the vibrator. he pauses, and then his hand slowly moves lower, and you gasp as it gets closer to your bottom. it hesitates before just so slightly entering you, only the tip brushing within. your eyes practically roll into the back of your head.

you feel his mouth crest against your ear. his breath is hot as he speaks. "next time i might just have this pretty little hole plugged up as well."

Even his bloody hand writing is so British 😂

matty’s handwriting