Revolutionary Parenting Hack:

Revolutionary parenting hack:

If your child is in the middle of some activity and clearly enjoying it (and wasn't supposed to be doing something else instead), DO NOT interrupt them and have them do chores that will "only take 5 minutes or so!"

You haven't asked them to do anything before they got out the Legos, started reading a chapter of their book or painting the complicated picture, or began playing their video game.

As a result of being repeatedly interrupted, they will learn that their presence in public space of the household=availability to do chores, so they will make themselves scarce so you can't find them and order them around. They will also become suspicious of your efforts to engage with them as they play, as they've learned that these pleasantries are a prelude to "Take out the trash", or "move your boots and vacuum the entryway, there's dirt everywhere ".

"But I need my children to help me around the house!", I hear you cry. I understand. Children should not be treated like royalty and left to their own devices 24/7.

An alternative is to give the kids a clearly delineated chore chart and stick to it, resisting the urge to add anything to it. There are some chores that are easier and quicker with two people, though. A (in my opinion) even better option is to divide the child's day into "on-duty" and "off-duty " time. When they're on-duty, you can interrupt them as before, but you have *consulted with your child beforehand * and they understand that during this time they can relax, but they must be ready to jump in and lend a hand.

That way they won't start trying to level up in their video game or break out the clay and make stuff. When they are off-duty, you leave them alone and their only responsibilities are to clean up whatever mess they make at the end of this time.

Also, if they are tearing around the house or whining about being bored, don't make them do chores so they will "have something to do"; this could make the child conflate extra chores with punishment for whining and make them reluctant to help out when you randomly tell them to at other times because they might think they're being punished but they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY DID. And IMO children should see chores as things everyone has to do no matter what, not punishments.

I may seem unqualified to offer parenting advice as I have no kids, but I was talking with my dad today and he said: "I wish you didn't hide from us in your room so much, but every time your mom walked by she'd give you a chore to do, so I can't blame you for that." A kid who hides in their room to play has an entirely different relationship to the family than the child who sprawls on the livingroom floor and excitedly describes the city they are building out of Legos.

And today, in times of Covid I play a complicated game of hide-and-seek with my mother as I try to do my online coding homework and apply for jobs. I am now attempting to turn my bedroom into my own tiny office because if I work in our home office, she'll find me and go "I can't attach this file to my email," and so on.

Children *have* to obey their parents when they are young. But true respect and honoring collective responsibilities is stronger than forced obedience. If you demonstrate to your children that you respect them and their time, they will reciprocate.

More Posts from Softblanketsheavyblankets and Others

“A masterpiece was created in the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone today” video by Kyle Kotajarvi

:/

Is it just me or does anybody else have so many ideas for fanfics but has no idea where to start? ahhhhhhhhhhhh or you have good ideas but you don’t know how to build up to it AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Reblog To Let Him Know That You Love Him

reblog to let him know that you love him

soon as i track down the ceo of clownery youre all going to be unemployed

so hey who else was taught as a kid that “”””wanting attention”””” in any way was wrong and shameful and has grown up unable ask for help or support even in great distress/suffering

yeah libraries are cool but have you ever found a library with a secret doorway disguised as a bookshelf that leads to a smaller, hidden library filled with ancient books full of mysteries and forgotten knowledge? me neither and i'm sad about it

I don’t get transphobic people. Like everyone is just a brain. A brain!!!!! Your body is controlled by a brain. A person’s body doesn’t define them lmao. If someone with a penis identifies as a girl, then who the fuck are you to tell her she’s not. She knows who she is. If someone with a vagina identifies as a man, I’m calling him what he damn pleases to be called. If a person is non-binary, bigender, gender-fluid,etc., then whatever pronoun they are comfortable with shouldn’t be a problem. Why is it a problem? What is just so wrong about not identifying as a gender SOMEONE ELSE said that you are. Transphobic people just put people into two categories just because of their genitals and that’s wack. Y’all will call robots that talk in movie he or she and they don't have genitals at all but the robot will act like a girl or guy and you’re fine with that, but if some human person who has a penis says she’s a girl, y’all will just fucking go batshit crazy because “it’s not normal” like huh? How are you ok with a movie robot that uses he/him pronouns that doesn’t have genitals, but you’re not ok with a human that identifies as a male but has a vagina ?what ? Huh? How are you fine with one but not the other? That doesn’t even make sense. I’m mad at the moment because of something I heard someone say. I just wish people didn’t care about this kind of stuff. I feel like I phrased some of this wrong so if it is phrased wrong tell me and I’ll change it.

“why bother writing bisexual characters if they just end up in a m/f relationship”

my dude

my guy

my pal

stop talking forever

Something people don’t understand about child abuse

One of the things that I really hate is that people don’t understand that survivors act differently and respond to their traumas in different ways.

I’m a survivor of csa and so is my friend. Her trauma made her extremely hypersexual while I could literally cry if someone even touched me.

My bf is a survivor of csa, I can talk for hours about my trauma if I felt safe enough while he NEVER brings it up.

A friend of mine is a survivor of emotional abuse and so am I. Her trauma made her angry while mine made me soft and defenseless.

My bf remembers every little detail about his trauma, while I repressed most of my childhood and traumas.

There’s no special “criteria” that you should fill in order to be a “valid” survivor, and there’s no specific way you should act if you were abused.

People respond to their traumas differently and it’s okay, your abuse is STILL valid no matter how you respond to it.

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softblanketsheavyblankets - beep boop apologies
beep boop apologies

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