I'm Just Gonna Make A Thread As Weird/funny Things That My Family/friends Says/does

You've got to be shitting me

HAPPY FUCKING HOMESTUCK DAY, DON'T FORGET YOU'RE HERE FOREVER.

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

I don't mean to be rude or anything, but the phrase has been around for a hot minute

who taught his great depression ass this slang 😭😭😭

Coming from someone who's seen her in person with a short sleeved shirt it's true I couldn't form an actual sentence for half an hour

Rowena MacLeod: The Tale of a Fashion Icon 

Math teacher explaining why not to use x for times: because if you're using x as a variable you'll get 4xx. 4xx, that's a really big person

~

Friend, talking about the venting machines at the end of the hall in our high school: I don't wanna go down there, the farther you the bigger they get.

~

*science teacher telling us that flying squirrels glow it the dark*

Friend: cool! I have a new night light!

~

Friend 1: you could never lie to me.

Friend 2, lying: I'm gay.

Friend 1: wait really?!

~

Me: it's fine I only see like one error.

Friend, fixing all the errors: you only see one grammarly sees all

~

*a teacher trying to explain who are sub is bc they forgot her name*

Boy in my class: I still thought it was [female teacher we all hate] when you said beard

~

Family friend, in tune of bohemian rhapsody: I'm just a drunk boy, I need my pillow

I'm just gonna make a thread as weird/funny things that my family/friends says/does

5yr old cousin, scoops up sand to throw at her sister trips over the sandbox wall: what the fucking heck

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Sister, hiccups while taking a drink:

Me and my cousin:did you just hiccup??

Sister: yea

Cousin: that sounded weird

Sister: it felt weird too

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Friend:I'm a pacifist

Me: I'll pass a fist

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Cousin, puts a pool noodle between legs: that makes my peepee go weeee *runs and jumps in the pond*

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*my brother and cousin fighting over whatever we passed*

Cousin: you're not the vision of my eyes!!!

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Dad: you stupid f- op gotta stop swearin' at my phone

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Uncle, drunk off his ass and and stumbling around:

Me: where are you going

Uncle: I'm dancing with gravity

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*aunts wedding where her now husbands family his being all huggy and stuff

Our side of the family greeting each other by punching or waving*

~

I'll add more

"GO AWAY!"

"Go AwAy?"

Reblog with an inside joke you have with your friends.

“Yes, Captain America has LEGS!”

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

Hell yeah