And That’s The Whole Point.

Mike Flanagan will make a series about a haunted house, childhood trauma, add in some long ass monologues and a couple of lesbians for good measure, cast his wife in a main role, and I will go crazy Every. Single. Time.

The thing I find actually quite disturbing about Netflix is that they know that the only people who really have the time for the binge model are just actual children. Their main market is teenagers which is why shows like Wednesday and Ginny and Georgia do so well and television made for adults and people with full formed brains keeps getting cancelled. It’s pathetic

So many in thoughts in my head but just that Ed had to kill Lucius because he represented who he was becoming, Lucius encourages his soft side, supports him through Stede leaving, is himself a creative and the most open about his sexuality on the ship, so Ed throwing him off board to commit to his Blackbeard persona is really just him shoving down all of what he could have been and had with stede and the fucking tragedy and OHMYGODITHOUGHTTHISWOULDJUSTBEAFUNNYSHOWABOUTPIRATESHELP

Hear me out-

A Muppet’s Midsummer Night’s Dream

Theseus, Hippolyta, Lysander, Hermia, Helena and Demetrius are all esteemed Shakespearean actors who keep to the original script, whilst all the fairies and some of the mechanicals are muppets muppeting about with the occasional soliloquy.

I present to you my vision:

Gonzo as Oberon

Believe me when I tell you Gonzo has RANGE. I think his background as an alien will help him embody the more mystical elements of Oberon and we know from his performance as the narrator in a Muppets Christmas Carol he’s a natural leading man.

Rizzo as Puck

Name a more iconic duo than Gonzo and Rizzo the rat? You can’t- of course you fucking can’t. Their chemistry is off the charts, celestial dare I say, platonic soulmates the like of which us mere mortals cannot comprehend. On top of the incredible back and forth they’ll bring to Oberon and Puck, Rizzo has a sense of mischief and is just the right amount of a whimsy can’t do nothing right boy to bring a really endearing vision of Puck to the stage.

Miss Piggy as Titania

Is it controversial to pair up Miss Piggy with someone who’s not her usual leading man? Sure, but bear with me I have a vision. Oberon and Titania are at odds for most of the play and I can definitely see a world in which Miss Piggy beats his ass in front of all the other fairies. Also the role of a glamorous ethereal queen? Are you kidding? Miss Piggy is going to body this role heart and soul.

Kermit as Bottom

Remember when I told you to bear with me? I would never break up a duo like Kermit and his beloved Miss Piggy, are you mad? Bottom and Titania spend the whole play smooching and mucking about with the fairies, not only do these two have the chemistry but it also gives Miss Piggy a chance to serenade her beloved Kermie. The casting also works on a meta level with Kermit playing an over ambitious actor somewhat hemmed in by an eccentric troupe. The only question is with the iconic transformation scene, do we cast a human actor who turns into Kermit, or do we just have regular ole Kermit with some donkey ears? I need the thoughts of the public desperately.

The Mechanicals:

Fozzie Bear as Snug

Waka, waka

Beaker as Francis Flute

Literally his worst nightmare is playing Thisbe.

Pepe the Prawn as Robin Starveling

Just a weird lil guy pretending to be moonlight

Bunsen as Tom Snout

Tom Snouts a tinker- plus he can do Pyramus and Thisbe’s special effects

Scooter as Peter Quince

Typical theatre manager energy.

The Fairies:

The Chickens as Titania’s Attendants

To be honest I can see the Henson company making a lot of cool original puppets for the fairies but you can’t have the muppets without some dancing chickens.

Janice and Animal should also get special cameos as Peaseblossom and Mustardseed respectively and naturally Waldorf and Statler show up to heckle Pyramus and Thisbe at the end.

Disney- make it happen

I’m sorry I ruined your life and pillaged your village, ok?? That’s just how I flirt

Other marvel directors:

And here’s five seconds of a queer character you will never see again

James Gunn:

Here’s Drax and Mantis getting blitzed in a gay bar at Christmas time 🌈🌈🌈

I was today years old when I found out Mike White of White Lotus fame is Mr Schneebly

In love with the implication at the end of howls moving castle that at some point turnip head is gonna come back and try and be a homewrecker

Don’t get me wrong I love all the emo versions of Batman in modern adaptations where’s he’s all broody and just sits alone in a cave at night because ✨vibes✨ but one day I hope we see the comic accurate bat dad who adopts every stray child he meets and has movie nights with the justice league

Sometimes a family is just you, your emo wizard husband, the child he’s adopted, a dog that may or may not be a spy, a literal fire demon, and the geriatric witch trying to eat said husbands heart