I Cant Believe It

I cant believe it

Homicidal Liu and Jeff The Killer (Woods brothers platonic)

tw: angst, description of past violence, memories.

author's notes: I still hold the opinion that Jeff is a lone killer and he wouldn't become one of the proxies at gunpoint. But I love the Woods brothers too much, so I'm willing to betray my principles for the sake of this story.

Jeff hates that he's here, that he's among the same lunatics that his younger brother is. He hates hearing his voice, he hates feeling his presence, he hates that he survived.

It would have been easier for him to accept that Liu died after his younger brother brutally murdered him, gutted his organs and mutilated his body. It's easier to live with that, because based on that, Jeff can conclude that he's a monster. A bastard who doesn't need family, friends, or an environment, who copes with his ego and endless love of bloodshed. He didn't give a damn about how much it hurt, how his victims squirmed, how they begged him to stop while their faces bled from the pressure and distorted into a grimace of horror at the very sight of Jeff. After all, he didn't even cry when he plunged a blood-soaked knife into his own older brother's flesh for the umpteenth time. He was feeding off of how frantically Liu was trying to defend himself.

But now Jeff has to put up with being human. That it's typical for him to feel sorry, that he's typical to feel uncontrollable, overwhelming pain and despair. His own ego is bursting at the seams at the thought that he is sorry that seeing Liu like this is unbearable. Especially to see how he forgives Jeff, how he tries to get in touch, unobtrusively, carefully, as if Liu was the killer and Jeff was the victim.

Jeff would climb into his own skull, crushing the bone with his own hands, reach into the convolutions with his fingers and pull out the part that responds to regret. He dug into the very core so that he would never feel burdensome fucking guilt again. She makes he sick, she makes he sick. All these years he thought he was a monster, a psychopath. That's true, but is it typical for all of this to feel like you care?

Jeff stumbles into the mansion with a characteristic bang of the door hitting the wall. It was unusual for him to be quiet within these walls. Hedidn't t care who wants to sleep there. He's fucked up, he urgently needs to bury his nose in the pillow without even bothering to undress. It's winter now, and everyone gets sick, and falls into bed, so he wouldn't even think about waking someone up when they're knocked out like babies, but that's if he didn't care.

Clearing his throat, he trudges down the hallway when he notices the flickering firelight from the hall. Gears begin to work in his head despite his fatigue. At such a time, only a few creatures are awake: BEN, but he never stays alone in the mansion, it is typical for him to go to the cyberworld during his vacation; Sally, however, the static is not heard — she has trouble sleeping and sometimes Slenderman stays with her in his arms by the fireplace until the baby falls asleep.

Jeff took a few steps forward, peering into the hall, at first concluding that the fireplace had simply been forgotten to put out, but he notices that the firewood is fresh. At the same moment, he gets an electric shock that makes the hair on his neck stand on end - there's a folded striped scarf on the couch. Jeff hurries to escape, manages to take a few wide hurried steps away from the hall, as a painfully familiar voice is heard behind him, calling his name. Liu looks at his back with a kind of despair. Jeff can feel it.

Why the hell couldn't that bastard sleep-

«Just look at me».

Jeff doesn't even turn around. He stands there rooted to the spot, staring at one point and nervously clutching the handle of a knife in the pocket of his hoodie. He doesn't want to look at the scarred face, doesn't want to remember how his knife so easily split open his older brother's face. In any other setting, Jeff would have considered these scars beautiful just because they're shaped like a smile. The teeth are clenched until they crack somewhere in the skull. Finally Jeff responds with a negative shake of his head. He doesn't hear when Liu gets closer, despite Jeff's enhanced hearing.

«Jeffrey».

«Not today, okay? I'm fucked up, you know where you can find me»

«I'm tired of you avoiding me, too». Jeff makes a hoarse grunt, like it's something he never wanted to hear.

«I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't come here». He raises his voice, glancing over his shoulder at Liu. His heart skips a beat and he immediately turns away. Jeff knew that this conversation would take place, he knew that he would be alone with his brother, and he knew that he would delay this moment to the last drop. Jeff takes a step back, tries to turn away, when Liu walks around him and wraps his arms around his shoulders, almost escapes from the grip and, like a child, rests his chin on his chest just not to look just not to look just not to look-

Liu's arms are wrapped tightly around his body anyway, pressing his face against his lifeless black hair. Jeff's arms fell limply to either side of his body as he stared glassy-eyed through something. He was afraid to hug Liu back. It's scary that this body will incinerate at his touch or crack like a fragile relic. But he was tired, exhausted. He allowed himself to press his forehead slightly against his brother's shoulder, exhaling humbly.

«Aren't you scared?» Jeff asked in a low voice, hoping deep down for a "no" answer, even though he told himself it was absurd.

«I'm scared. It's scary that nothing alive moves in me anymore from someone else's pain, it's scary that we.. strangers».

It was on the tip of his tongue to say, «I'm afraid of what you've become». He's really scared at the thought of his little brother becoming this. Irreparably insane. Liu will never admit to himself that he still feels the same fear that night when he sees Jeff out of the corner of his eye in the corridors of the mansion.