Why, Hello Beautiful!!! 💜💜💜😘😘😘 I Do Hope You Are Having A Great Weekend!!!

Blood Moon Rising has been updated, omg! stg this series is so good, they are interconnected. you can't skip a line, coz you might miss an important part that links to the other stories. you know how you read and you get excited that sometimes you actually read a sentence or paragraph but you don't remember reading it? i have read The Half Lycan and Of Bears & Bonds numerous times and have found that i did missed some things!

there are more stories in this series and there's a long way to go, so im looking forward to this.

i have once asked Dia if she had any plan of makin a timeline, and she said yes!!! i can't wait for that!

💜💜💜😘😘😘

Shifters | Fic Index

PREFACE | A Collection of short stories that are created and built surrounding the universe within the Blood Moon Rising series. The collection will include side stories, prequels, and epilogues for the supported series.

Author’s note | Stories will not be published in chronological order.

➬ Blood Moon Rising

⇢ Character | Jimin x reader

⇢ Genre | Vampire!au, Vampire!Jimin, Werewolf!Reader, Smut, Angst

⇢ Summary | As beings from ancient times, the Vampire Clan has undergone numerous changes to thrive in the Modern Age after surviving the Ancient Blood War. As a part of the traveller family in his clan, Jimin has parted ways from the coven until the day his Lords warned him of the lurking danger from inside the clan. And all so suddenly, he was pulled out of his solitary, only to have given the responsibility he had never wished to have, along with the threats that come as a part of the deal.  

Born as youngest yet having lost so much, you have given your family your loyalty, your protection, and had been given their love and support that had become the only thing that keeps you going. But what happens when the only people you have put your trust in only repay you with betrayal?

⇢ Chapters | Prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 |

➬ The Half Lycan

⇢ Character | Taehyung x reader

⇢ Genre | Werewolf!au, Werewolf!Taehyung, Human!Reader, Smut, Angst

⇢ Summary | Once the Blood War ends, trust becomes rare between species. Caught between two different species for having been born from an unusual union of a Werewolf and an ancient creature that had been brought up as weapons during the War, Taehyung has been pushed away from one family only to be frowned upon within a pack that supposed to provide him home. What happens when his mate, who he had been hoping for to be his saviour, turns out to be an entirely different species? Someone who cannot even believe that Werewolves are real.

⇢ READ HERE

❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈

➬ Drabbles & Shorts:

⇢ #1 Fever | Excerpt: When he is in heat

⇢ #2 Rapture | Excerpt: When he needs to reclaim his mate

➬ Of Bears and Bonds

⇢ Character | Seokjin x reader

⇢ Genre | Were-bear/Bear Shifter!Seokjin, Witch! Reader, Smut, Angst

⇢ Summary | Winter always comes with surprises. Sometimes it brings you the joy in the form of solitude, other times it comes with a snowstorm that buries your lodge in a thick snow mountain that has you trapped until Springtime. You had believed that you were prepared for anything come winter. The only thing you were not prepared of was to find a bear being sent to your doorsteps. Asleep.

⇢ READ HERE: 01 | 02 | 03 (end)

➬ The Agile Fox

⇢ Character | Jungkook x Yoongi

⇢ Genre | Shifters!au, Werewolf!au, Werewolf!Jungkook, Fox Shifter!Yoongi, Fluff, Angst

⇢ Summary | It is hard enough for Jungkook to continuously witness his peers finding their mates when he had been waiting for years to have his own. It is even harder when his eyes fall to someone who he may not even be allowed to pay attention to, much less to choose the person as a mate.

⇢ Fic Excerpt 

➬ Alpha’s Inferno

⇢ Character | Namjoon x reader

⇢ Genre | Vampires!au, Werewolf!au, Alpha!Namjoon, Vampire!Reader, Smut, Angst

⇢ Summary | Alphas are stronger with a mate. Losing his Destined was already hard enough, he has to go through another trial when he loses his Chosen, and has been leading his pack of misfits all on his own since. Until betrayals led to distrust, enemies become allies, and hate becomes love.

➬ Hunting Season

⇢ Character | Hoseok x reader

⇢ Genre | Werewolf!au, Werewolf!Hoseok, Hunter!reader, Smut, Angst

⇢ Summary | He is a protector. And for his duty, he had nearly given up the thought of searching a mate to protect his land and his people from the threats being thrown at them from every nook and every corner. But then his mate comes along, side by side with the threat that has arrived to take his life. The Moon Goddess must have had a terrible sense of humour.

➬ To Trap A Wolf

⇢ Character | Jungkook x Yoongi

⇢ Genre | Shifters!au, Werewolf!au, Werewolf!Jungkook, Fox Shifter!Yoongi, Fluff, Angst

⇢ Summary | It took him a long time, but Jungkook finally returns from his journey. The only thing he did not expect was to find Yoongi there waiting for him. And the fox is not alone.

➬ Fic Talk/Muse Talk

⇢ Lycan vs Werewolves ⇢ Taehyung’s form ⇢ Writing process I ⇢ Female leads as original characters ⇢ Fic Talk: Story timeline and connections ⇢ Fic talk: Characters and roles ⇢ Ref: Characters and Images

➬ Art

⇢ Rapture moodboard

➬ Patreon Specials

⇢ Fic teasers ⇢ Inspiration board & Characters: Shifters Series ⇢ The Dragon King: Blood Moon Rising side story - excerpt & moodboard

➬ Music Companion

Replay - Rendezvous At Two | Floating - RZLZ | Want U Back - Sorrow | Everything - MRKRYL | Wait - n u a g e s | Used To - Kodamilo | Fever - UNDERHER | Circle - EVRDO | Let Me Know - Svn The Singer | Beautiful Chaos - Ja¥en x District | To The Ends - Aaryan Shah |

➬ Cross-post

⇢ Book #1 - Blood Moon Rising: Inkitt | Wattpad  ⇢ Book #2 - The Half-Lycan: Inkitt | Wattpad ⇢ Book #3 - Of Bears And Bonds: Inkitt | Wattpad

All Rights Reserved © 2020-2021 Yoonia

my baby Seokmin would like to say hi... 💜💜💜😘😘😘

Sooooo... i held off as long as I coukd coz i know its going to hurt. I read the teaser so i have an idea how much it will hurt. To be fair to the reader, we all have these kind of thoughts even if you're not dating a renowned music producer. Its a given in any relationship, and i feel her with her struggles - the feeling of inadequacy, the sort of "power dynamics" (him being famous while her "normal"), the inner monologue of telling yourself that he loves you and that he's faithful.

My chest was so tight the whole time i was reading this, up until the interview with Yoongi. After that i released a very huge breath. This is such a beautiful story, the way Yoongi makes it up to her with words and deeds, trying to prove to her that she's loved and there is no one else.

It takes hard work to keep any relationship to work and this story is such a gem coz it gives you hope that there is happy ending. 💜💜💜😘😘😘

Little Do You Know [M]

➬ Title | Little Do You Know

➬ Pairings | Yoongi x reader

➬ Summary | With love, comes challenge. Especially when you are in love with the one man who is at the top of the world while keeping you on the other end.

➬ Genre | Artist/Music Producer!Yoongi, Established relationship!au, Angst, Fluff, Smut

↳ Ratings | +18 / M for Mature

↳ Warning | possessive Yoongi, a few events of jealousy, multiple smut scenes, implied public foreplay, clothed foreplay, dry humping, semi-public sex, exhibitionism, rough sex, breast play, biting, clit play, hair pulling, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, self-masturbation (female), clothed sex, car sex.

↳ Word count | 22k words (I’m sorry for this T^T)

↳ Cross post | AO3 | Inkitt (coming soon!)

↳ Music companion | Little Do You Know - Alex & Sierra | Youth - Daughter

➬ Author’s Note | Written as a commission for @minyoongail​. | Thank you for giving me a chance to write for Yoongi again. Forgive me for the long wait. I hope you’ll enjoy this story.

THEN…

From the very first night you met Min Yoongi, you were instantly drawn to him.

To describe the moment perfectly, you could easily say that it had happened exactly the way wise people would describe this kind of attraction; that you were drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

It was an instant pull, the kind of attraction that you had never once felt for another person before. Not to the boys you have dated through college, not even for the hot specimen of a male sitting right next to your cubicle at the office you were attending through your internship.

To this day, you could only faintly recall the events which had led you into getting dragged along to the uncharted territory where Min Yoongi existed. It was Friday night, right on the weekly scheduled night out that you would spend with your friends, when the hours were getting late and the dive bar that you had frequently gone to each week felt too cramped and dull with all the men in suits who came in for a seemingly boring company party while acting like they owned the place.

“It would be fun,” you remembered one of them said as she suggested to try hopping into a different club instead of ending the night early.

Keep reading

🥰🥰🥰

how does he manage to look this attractive while cooking 👀

And she's back!!! The queen of slow burn and pining. My God, what a journey!!! 51K, some would say it could have been made shorter but why would we deprive ourselves of all the details - descriptions of scenery, their back story, the stare off every now and then, their angst back & forth. She writes like she wants us to see every moment (that bruise on Jungkook's jaw), feel every feeling (every tensing of Jungkook's jaw), even smell the ocean & that cinnamon pretzel. I feel like i was a fly on the wall the whole time!

And Jungkook's very own journey was so realistic given that he was a teenager when it happen. Teenage years are so hard in the 1st place but to go thru a parents' break-up & watching ur dad breakdown (not to mention being a punching bag), would really take a toll on him. Did the way he treated OC all those years ago right? For sure no, but what do you expect from a teenager with so much burden and probably shame at what he is going through?

The breaking point at the parking lot is reminisce of WAAD scene and i love it! How thin is the line between love & hate (anger?)?

Again, the queen of slow burn & pining nailed it again with this one. Go check out her other works - We Are All Dreamers, Never Falling, Strip, The Stand-In and Blurred Lines. Each one are full of angst enough to grind my teeth but the smut all make up for it and of course the happy endings!!! 💜💜💜😘😘😘

Show Me Something (M)

↳ Title | Show Me Something

↳ Pairings | Jeon Jungkook x reader

↳ Genre | Road Trip!au, Friends to Enemies to Lovers!au, First Love!au, Smut, Voyeurism

↳ Prompt | Take a Road Trip

↳ Summary | He was your first kiss years ago, only to become your first heartbreak the next day. Your life would have been much easier if only you would forget about him and move on, instead of having to see him almost every day because your best friend had fallen in love with his best friend. When your pal had suggested having a road trip for the final days of summer break before going back to campus, you said yes for a reprieve. Too bad she forgot to tell you about the two extra passengers tagging along. One of which is the boy who still has a tight hold of your heart without either of you even knowing it.

↳ Ratings | +18 / M for Mature

↳ Warning | Heavy angst, slow burn, implied domestic abuse (briefly mentioned), mutual pining with a hint of sexual tension, public massage, public sex, lots of make up sex, car sex, undeniably non-hygienic act of penetration sex, breast play, nipple play (male receiver, in which Jungkook has sensitive nipples), extensive foreplay (clothed foreplay, clit play, fingering, cunnilingus/female receiver), cum play, creampie, dirty talk, thigh riding, hand job, piercing play, size kink (?), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation. Jungkook has tattoos. He also has dick and nipple piercings.  

↳ Word count | 51,7k words (I’m sorry T^T)

↳ Cross-post | AO3 | Inkitt

↳ Song Companion | Evrdo - Circle // The Ambientalist - Missing You // THEY. - Count Me In // Teflon Sega - No Turning Back // Tim Schaufert - Our Wreckage (feat. Yosie) // DPR Ian - Nerves

In your memories, he would always be the same ten-year-old boy you first met at the school gate many years ago.

Still standing at the same height as yours, there was no need for you to tilt your head up to look at him then. Even though he would still find his way to ruffle your hair to make it clear that he was going to be way taller than you would be in the future.

In your memories, he is still the same thin figured boy you grew up with. The boy who barely cared about his messy hair, letting some fall over his face while the others were jutting up to various directions on the top of his head from the amount of time he had been ruffling them with his hands out of nerves.

He would still be the same boy you would find standing still with his eyes rounded wide in astonishment whenever he was curious or interested in something. The sweet innocent boy who would be nibbling or licking his lips when he was thinking hard or when he was shy. The same boy who would come to your house, sometimes still wearing the uniform from his martial arts class and still sweaty after practice, only to pull you away from your room or any dark shadow you were wallowing yourself in to get you out and into the light. He would be tugging you along with him as he ran through the front yard, letting you follow him wherever he would go to help you forget about your troubles at home.

In your memories, he was the only person who could bring the light in your dark. The one who would listen to you when you had no one to run to. Whose warm eyes and innocent smile would always be able to make you believe that he could make a difference.

And for you, he did. Even if it was only for a limited time.

He had helped you create the little bubble where only you and him existed together. Where he made you feel safe and protected. Where you felt well taken care of under his warmth.

He was the one who gave you reasons to believe, to open your eyes before you finally became brave enough to open your heart for him. He was your best friend, and a lot more.

Holding his hand made you feel like everything was right in the world and nothing could ever come between you to tear you both apart. For the beginning of your teenage years, he had been a huge part of it. And you had thought that he would become a part of so much more.

Until he wasn’t.

And it took only one kiss to ruin it all.

Keep reading

Ok! So don't judge me alright, its the title that got me. 1st off, Namjoon is my bias so everything this author writes is a must for me. This one, is one of my fave just coz there's a hilarious story behind it while i was reading it.

I was reading this piece with the title fully cemented in my brain, and coz of that Namjoon was already in the bathroom wanking off to thoughts of his bestfriend before i truly realize that they were not actually doing the deed but rather doing something else (not gonna spoil anything for you!). The suggestion to use a towel so as not to stain the bed did not help at all in my confusion. OMG, i feel so stupid and i had to pause right there and laughed at myself for my stupidity (gotta leaen to laugh at ur own stupidity u know so it wont hurt much when someone else do it for u 🤪🤪🤪).

Anyways, my fave part are those that gives you the fluffy feelings then the very next sentence/paragraph gives you pure smut, like a whiplash. The kind of smut that is filthy and dirty like it gives you whiplash (in my humble opinion it should be filthy and/or dirty, if not then ur not doing it right or ur not receiving it right, ahem ahem).

How Namjoon was thinking of his cute bestfriend & the next thinking about her lips wrapped around something else, lol. Or that paragraph about Namjoon being in sandpit and math but then next to a lot HARDER stuff! Whew! Straight A student Namjoon with perfect GPA  then next to going down on her. Namjoon thinking of their sweet future together while jointly filing taxes then wham! OC hollowing her cheeks. 🥵🥵🥵 i think i went to hell just for reading those sweet lines back to back with the smut, i was wrecked honestly!!! 💜💜💜😘😘😘

Pop My Cherry: KNJ smut fluff crack

paring:  best friend!namjoon x best friend! Female reader.

genre: CRACK, SMUT, FLUFF. ━ ・idiot best friends to lovers ━  

word count: 8k  

Summary: You need Namjoon to do this with you: be your first. You just don’t know that he wants so much more. 

Warnings: Male masturbation, breastplay, oral {m-f receiving}, virgin sex, softest, fluffiest vanilla, emotional, m-f penetrative smut. One teeny mention of pegging. NSFW. Explicit. 🔥🔥🔥

Read the prologue here

——————————————–

POP MY CHERRY

Are you sure?” he asks, disbelief written all over his face.

“I’m sure. Want you to be my first,” you say, the certainty in your voice belies the little tinge of nervousness thrumming in your veins. You’ve thought about it for some time now, and you realize that you want no one else but your best friend to do the deed.

Keep reading

It took me forever to finally read this chapter. But oh! The difference in how they feel. I thought i was ready for the heartbreak (its tagged as unrequited love after all!), but to see Seokjin's POV!!! 🥺🥺🥺

cinnamon bliss ● chapter ii

➬ Subtitle | The long road home to you

➬ Pairings | Kim Seokjin x reader

➬ Genre | Single Father!Jin, Cafe Owner!reader, Unrequited Love!au, Angst, Future Smut

➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay in the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or to let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart in pieces.

↳ Ratings | PG-13

↳ Warning | involves grief, emotional battles, slow burn.

↳ Word count | 3,2k words

➥ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Chapter List | Next Chapter ⇢

chapter ii. array

Present…

“Welcome!”

The jingle sound of the bell at the front door and the new waitress’ voice welcoming the patron pulls your attention away from the freshly baked bread you are shelving in the counter. The sight of a group of college girls entering the shop deflates your mood almost instantly, and you turn back to finish your task while trying your best to hide and ignore the disappointment that is slowly creeping up on you.

As you are placing up the final pieces of bread into the glass display case, you suddenly feel like you are being closely watched. Straightening up, you quickly find that you indeed have someone watching you. Standing right beside you with her eyes on you is your friend and co-worker, Naeun, who also has a smug grin on her face with a lot of secret and mischief written all over it.

“Girl, you got it bad,” she mutters softly with a chuckle, not enough for the entire shop to hear what she said, but still enough for you to catch it.

“What are you talking about?”

Keep reading

so i read them again, for the nth time. sue me!!! judge me!!! i don't care!!! My fave OC lines during the smut scenes... 🥵🥵🥵

Guarded - “No one gets to touch me, no one but you."

Guilty - “Start anywhere, start everywhere.  Just start.  Please.”

Greedy - “You have me, all of me.”

I am not explaining anything, those lines are spoiler enough. Go read the series!!! 💜💜💜😘😘😘

guarded AU: masterlist

Keep reading

the body hair agenda is thriving, Ana!!! @xjoonchildx

OH MY GOD.

It took me awhile to reblog this all beacuse i felt so much for this little drabble. It felt like i was punched. First, Hoseok in Guarded is the type of person so in control of his emotions (we saw a lot of this in the main story), even during their confrontation you can feel his control over his emotions. Even during during the smut, if you recall it was Amsaja who pounced him in the elevator! Which is why i was totally floored by how Ana wrote Hoseok in this little (only in word count!), but i guess its warranted - the man almost died! For the 1st time, i saw a side of Hoseok in panic, not even afraid but terrified, almost out of his mind. Its almost grounding to think that hey, he's human after all, Amsaja wondered the same thing in the main story, come to think of it!

Now to our Amsaja, a fierec woman who went so much truama and pain and got out from all of it so strong that Hoseok was her only weakness. A weakness you might think, but really it was Hoseok who made her brave and take chances, made her rethink of everything and put things in perspective. Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating, maybe Hoseok was just a portion of it but still. And it continues into this drabble, made her brave enough to think of things she never thought she needed in her life. I always thought Amsaja is a brave woman and now she is showing us that bravery is not the absence of fear but having fear and yet going through it all because she knows she can.

💜💜💜😘😘😘

close call | jhs x reader

🗝️summary: hoseok comes home in the middle of the night and it doesn't take long for you to realize something is wrong. very, very wrong.

🗝️pairing: reader x mafia!hoseok

🗝️rating: mature, 18+

🗝️genre: smut, mafia AU, guarded AU drabble though it can be read as a standalone story

🗝️warnings: standard smut warnings, feelings because apparently i know no other way

🗝️word count: 1.7K

🗝️notes: i've had in mind to write a series of these drabbles for the guarded AU involving all of the original story characters. all returning home from the same terrifying night on the job, each processing the trauma a bit differently. as always, thank you for reading and please talk to me about it! of course, i couldn't have written or posted this without the help and guidance of @ladyartemesia @btsarmy9593 and @hobi-gif thank you so much ladies. also a big thank you to the very sweet @diorggukie who was so kind to answer my questions!

He comes to you in the dead of night.

The bed dips under his weight as he slips quietly beneath the covers, pressing the length of his body to yours. You start to rouse when he wraps himself around you -- firm chest at your back, strong forearm banded over your waist -- and you open your eyes to darkness, disoriented.

“Hoseok?” You call out to him, not quite awake and not quite asleep.

No answer.

“Baby?”

Still no answer.

The fear comes over you slowly, pulsing from your legs to your chest to your arms. Finally then to your brain, sounding the alarm inside your head as the pieces start to fall into place.

He’s warm, far too warm, skin feverish and damp from what must have been a scalding hot shower. He’s breathing hard like he’s just gone for a run, his shuddering breaths ragged and rough behind the soft shell of your ear. And he’s holding you so tight he’s practically crushing his body to yours.

That’s when you realize he’s trembling.

That’s when your own heart starts to rattle inside your chest.

“Hoseok,” you call his name louder now, clearer, trying to suppress the panic in your voice. “Baby, please. Tell me you’re okay.”

He doesn’t.

You wrench yourself out of his stranglehold to turn over and curl into him, searching for his face in the dark. Beneath the lone sliver of moonlight that peeks through the blinds he looks blank, eyes open and unseeing.

“Hoseok -- “ you cup his face in your hands, grip firm as you try to rouse him from his stupor. “-- You’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He stares back at you, quiet for a long time before he answers.

“Bad night, baby,” he whispers at last, “Real bad night.”

The words alone would be enough to make your heart seize, but the brittle, hollow sound of his voice is your undoing. He’s right in front of you, in your arms, but he sounds a million miles away.

“You want to talk about it?”

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to. Your answer is in his vacant expression, the shuttered look in his eyes. You know damned well the terrible things he’s seen -- the terrible things he’s had to do in this line of work. And you know that most nights he’s able to absorb that trauma, to contain and defuse it before he comes home to you.

This is not most nights.

“It’s alright, baby,” you whisper, leaning in to press kisses to his warm temple, his flushed cheeks. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to do anyth--”

The words die on your tongue when Hoseok turns his face to capture your mouth with his.

The adrenaline lying dormant in his bloodstream roars back to life in an instant. In one swift movement he’s on top of you, pinning you down with his lithe frame, mouth and hands everywhere at once. His touch is rough, desperate, teeth scraping against the hollow of your throat. Fingers digging into the soft curve of your ass. He kisses you like he’s trying to consume you, filling the air in his lungs with the breath he steals from yours.

“Hoseok -- “ you pull away from him long enough to gasp for air, digging your fingers into his hair when he buries his face between your breasts. “ -- Baby, you’re okay. It’s over. It’s over.”

He’s not ready to listen.

He’s still too keyed up, too wild from whatever he endured out there tonight. He sucks bruises into the column of your throat as his unsteady hands grasp at the satin barrier between you, shoving the thin nightgown up your thighs. You draw in a sharp breath when he slots one leg between yours, pressing the hot, hard length of his cock to the soft curve of your stomach.

“I need you,” he chokes out, heart hammering wildly inside his chest where it’s pressed against your own. “Please.”

There will be none of his trademark finesse tonight. None of the sexy words he loves to whisper in your ear, none of the practiced touches he loves to tease you with until he’s certain you’re ready for him. And none of that matters in this moment.

His hips jerk when you slide a hand between your bodies to take hold of his rigid cock, guiding the blunt head to your entrance. You slide it against the moisture gathered there, pressing your lips to the shell of his ear.

“Take me, baby,” you whisper, “Take whatever you need.”

The words are barely out of your mouth before Hoseok is surging forward, fusing himself to you in one devastating stroke. He’s so damned hard -- impossibly hard -- and you can’t help but whimper at the sudden, sharp intrusion.

“Shit,” he swears under his breath, head dropping low between his shoulder blades. His arms shake with effort as he forces himself to hold still above you. “I didn’t mean -- “

You swallow his apology with a kiss, tearing a pained groan from him as you squeeze your thighs tight around his slim legs and skate your hands down his back to cup his ass. You tilt your hips up, rolling them against his in invitation.

“It’s alright, baby,” you promise, speaking the words against his lips. “I can take it.”

It’s like pulling the pin on a grenade. Once you speak those words out loud, he abandons what little control he had left, fucking into you with utter desperation. His fingers dig savagely into the cushion of your hips, pulling you in to meet each one of his unforgiving thrusts.

“Thought I was never going to see you again,” he pants, mouth latching to one stiff nipple through your nightgown. He sets his teeth to it despite the barrier, dragging it into his mouth through the damp satin.

You’re glad he can’t see the tears that spring to your eyes. You squeeze them shut, trying to push his words out of your mind, trying to think only about the steady rhythm of his hips against yours and the feeling of his cock buried deep.

“You’re here, baby,” you soothe, running your hands up his back. You can feel the faint tremor that runs just under the surface of his skin. “Here with me. You’re not going anywhere.”

At that, he fucks you harder. Hard enough that you have to press one hand to the headboard behind you to keep him from forcing you up the length of the bed. Hard enough that you know you’ll feel him everywhere tomorrow, know that you’ll see the evidence of his agony all over your skin.

He groans your name into the crook of your neck when he comes, shuddering as he empties himself inside of you for what feels like an eternity. And then he collapses onto you, shivering despite the warmth emanating from his skin, despite the heat that’s been generated between you.

You hold him close and trace your fingertips up and down his back until the shivering stops.

He’s still sleeping deeply when you slip out of bed.

The apartment is peaceful at this hour, the blue hue of the early light comforting in the quiet of the kitchen. You’re not much of a cook, never have been, but this morning that doesn’t matter.

You are going to make this man some fucking breakfast.

It’s easier to focus on brewing the coffee and buttering the toast than it is to think about the way he looked at you last night. The things he’d confessed to you in the dark. The way he held you like he was afraid you’d vanish.

You crack the last of your eggs into a bowl and walk to the trash can, prepared to drop the empty carton inside.

But when you press down on the foot pedal, the lid comes up and the carton in your hand falls to the floor below.

At the top of the trash pile sits Hoseok’s white dress shirt -- the one you’d bought him in Gangnam a few months ago. The one he was wearing when you’d kissed him goodbye before he left last night.

The blood smears splattered across it are a bit rusty now, oxidized and dull.

It’s so much blood that for a moment your heart stops before your brain steps in to remind you that this can’t be his blood. That you’d had your hands and mouth on every inch of his skin last night. That he’s sleeping safe and sound in your bedroom just a few feet away.

You’ve seen so many sides of Hoseok by now, his happiness and his passion and his melancholy and his fury. But you’ve never seen him terrified. Not until now.

You stare down at that shirt, willing yourself not to imagine the gruesome scenarios that come to mind. Willing yourself not to panic over events that are already said and done. Willing yourself not to collapse with grief.

He’d asked you to marry him.

He’d done it in that low key way of his, of course -- on a drive home from dinner, stopped at a red light. He’d cut the radio and reached across the gear shift to take your hand and he’d asked you to marry him. And you’d said no.

You’d argued that trauma begets trauma. That hearing the stories about your own parents’ volatile marriage had poisoned you against any hope for one of your own. That you still didn’t fully understand the damage done by years at the hands of an alcoholic father in the absence of a dead mother. That being a Kim at one time nearly destroyed you, but now it defines you.

And he’d accepted it.

In that low key way of his, of course -- stone-faced and jaw tight. He’d never made mention of it again, though you could sometimes feel it heavy in the air between you. Though at times you could feel the weight of it pressing down on your chest when you relived the memory of that night in the car.

This morning, you stare down into that trash can -- down at the ghastly red-orange stains that mar what used to be a pristine white canvas -- and your excuses echo through your mind, pathetic and small.

Hoseok would give his life for you. For your brother. For any man in this organization without second thought.

This is the life you chose and this is the man you chose.

And it is time you give him this.

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