Phone Guy: Blurting Out Absolute Gibberish From His Mouth

Uh,,,,, Hewwo, hewwo? (´･ω･`) Uh, I wanted to record a message for u to help u get settled in on ur first night,, Um, I actually worked in that office b4 u,,,, I’m finishing up my last week now!!! (/w<\) So, I know it can be a bit scurry!!, but I’m here to tell u there’s nothin to worry about!!! Uh, you’ll do good!! d(=^･ω･^=)b So, let’s just focus on getting u thru ur first week. Okee? OwO

Uh,,,, lesse,(^._.^)ﾉ,,,, first there’s an intro greeting from the cumpany that I’m ‘sposed to read. Uhmmmm,,, it’s kind of a legal thing, y'know. Um, “Welcum 2 Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza!!  A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun cum 2 life ;3c . Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage 2 property or person!!!!(=ｘェｘ=) Upon discovering that booboos or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days! d(=^･ω･^=)b or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.V(=^･ω･^=)v” Blah blah blah,(⁎˃ᆺ˂) meow that might sound bad, I no!!!  but!! there’s really nothing 2 worry about. Uh,, the animatronic characters here do get a lil ‘random x3’ at night, but do I blame them? No!!! If I were forced 2 sing those same dummy songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? O////O I’d probably be  grumpy at night 2!! So remember, these characters hold super softy special place in the hearts of children, and we need to show them a lil respect, right? Okee UwU. (=｀ェ´=)/ So!! just be aware!! the characters do tend to wander a lil bit. Uh,,, they’re left in some kinda free roaming mode at nite oAo Uh,,, .Somethin bout their servos getting all sticky if they get turned off for too long >///> Uh, they used 2 be allowed 2 walk around during the day 2!!  But then there was The Nom of ‘87.Σ(;Φ ω Φ) Nya….. I-It’s amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, y'no? Ummm,,,,(^･o･^)ﾉ” now concerning ur safety!!! the only real risk 2 you as a night guard here, if any,,,, is the fact that these characters, uhmmm,,,, if they happen to see you after hours probably won’t recognize you as a person (=^･ｪ･^=) They’ll most likely see u as a metal nyendoskeleton without its fursuit on!! (˵Φ ω Φ˵) Now since that’s naughty here at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, they’ll probably try 2,,,, forcefully stuff u in a Freddy Fazbear fursuit Σ(;Φ ω Φ)  Um,,,,,, now, that wouldn’t be so bad if the suits themselves weren’t filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic cummies, especially around the face!! (=✖ᆽ✖=) So, u could imagine how having ur head forcefully stuffed inside one of those could cause ouchies,,,,,,,,,,,and death.(.=^・ェ・^=) Uh, the only parts of u that would likely see the light of day again would be ur eyeballs and teeth when they boop out the front of the mask!!! lawl. >w> nya, they don’t tell u these things when u sign up.(=✖ᆽ✖=) But hey!!! first day should be a breasy peezy!!!! I’ll poke u tomorrow >;3c Uhmm,,,,,, check those cameras, and remember 2 close the doors only if u rlly super gotta!!! Gotta conserve power. Okeey!! Nini!!!! UwU

scott: welcome to fnaf vr, do you want a fucking bazfear?

me, sobbing profusely: please,,, i just want to see jeremy again,,

scott: bircus caby

Nightmare Mangle Aesthetic for anon

Springtrap 1D?

why the heck would he try to drink soda in the first place

If Balloon boy could speak…

Best present ever.

What?

What if Mike was short for Micycle