Gut Feelings.

Uncontrollable.

There are just certain aspects in your life that you simply can't control. You can't really control who walks into your life, and sometimes you can't control who walks out of your life. Unexpected events that can occur can break your normal routine as well. Some of these events can turn into blessings while some other events are still taking time for recovery. Emotions. Sometimes it's hard to control them as well. You get angry, you get sad, you are elated, you're in love. So many emotions come and go repeatedly throughout our lives. Hopefully someday we'll have it all figured out. Until then, I'll stumble and fall as I find my way. Bruises and nightblindness and all.

Lost.

Sometimes, I can't help but feel lost. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? Heck, I even get literally lost with directions all the time. Life is all about changes. How you respond and adapt to those changes shows you what kind of person you are. Or so I've been told. I think a person is made up of many strengths and weaknesses, and all of them define each and every one of us beautifully. So regardless of what we determine as "success" in life, I think as long as we are happy with who we are, who cares where we are going, or what we'll be doing next. Let's just take things slowly, day by day. Living in the moment.

Life repeats itself.

Wow, it’s been a good few years since I’ve written in here. Does anyone even use this platform anymore?

Regardless, I’m just here to empty my thoughts again.

You’d think at my age, I would have learned better from my mistakes. But here I am, years later, scrolling through previous posts and once again, I’m finding myself in the same situations again.

Growth is hard. It really is. Whether it’s a change in careers, saying goodbye... it’s all hard. But growth makes you stronger. It prepares you for what’s ahead. And hopefully there are much, much brighter days ahead.

Or so they say.

http://iglovequotes.net/

Meh.

Today has been one of those days - the ones you don't absolutely hate, but you definitely don't love either. It feels like one of those days that you could have lived without. For all those that are saying, "Oh, that means you aren't living life to the fullest! Shame on you!" please stop. You can't expect every day to be glorious and amazing. You have to have your share of good and bad days in order to appreciate life. So although today hasn't been great, tomorrow might be. Until then, I shall wait.

Empty Words.

I think everyone is guilty of saying "empty words" at one point in their life. In my case, I apologize a lot for things that aren't even my fault. Like if someone tells me, "I got a ticket before headed over here." My automatic response would be, "Oh, I'm so sorry!". "I know that might be how most people would reply in that situation. However, if you think about it, aren't you apologizing for something unrelated to you? It's so easy to sympathize with someone and apologize for whatever misfortunes have fallen upon them. However, when it really counts, can any of us proudly and bravely apologize when we need to? I know I'm still learning how to...

Patience.

"Patience is a virtue." Easier said than done. There are always moments when you get frustrated from waiting, whether it's waiting in line at the grocery store or waiting for a text from that special someone. Sometimes it feels easier to just give up and start afresh. But wait if you had just waited out a little longer? What if you missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime? What if not waiting was going to be one of the biggest regrets in your life? But what if it's time to move on? Where is the line between stubborn and stupidity? Ah, the never ending questions in my head.

Patience.

Patience was never a virtue I thought I had. I mean sure, I have enough patience to wait for my Amazon package to arrive or the will power to not open a Christmas present early. But waiting for things to change, for things to change in my current life’s state, is difficult.

Waiting for that kind of change is so hard. You work towards the change to the best of your ability, but there is no end date or estimated time of arrival. With Amazon packages, you have tracking notifications. With Christmas presents, you know it occurs on the same day every year. But with life, no one knows. The only think I know is I’m still trying and I’m trying to make progress.

But how far I’m getting, how much closer I am, I wish I knew.

Being strong.

Always putting on a front.

Staying busy.

Keeping my mind occupied.

With anything.

To avoid thoughts of you.

To avoid thoughts of the past.

What’s done is done.

It is what it is.

So why can’t I move on already?