raethanbhanneth
Old/Bored/Just wants a nap/I am goblin trash
267 posts
Latest Posts by raethanbhanneth
Cat sitter = booked ✅
Hotels = booked ✅
Anticipation = high ✅
T-minus 8 days until I visit home. First stop? Skyline Chili. And I’ll be bringing my own damn Pepsi, ya greedy bastards!
I may not have grown up playing the earlier Baldur's Gate games, but I, too, find myself getting excited whenever Jaheira shows up.
Is like "It's her! It's she! Hi Jaheira! Hiiii!"
WHAT is wrong with you. It is so attractive
Y’all, I drOPPED MY CUPCAKE.
This is why Jaheira won’t let Astele bring sweet rolls into their shared soak.
Current situation: eating a cupcake while taking a bath because I got a massage yesterday and the masseuse beat the shit out of me.
Also wondering whether Jaheira and Astele would be bath girls or shower girls?
I bet Astele would appreciate the quickness of a shower, while Jaheira would be a long, hot bath lover with bath bombs and bath teas and shit like that.
Jaheira would have one of those deep copper bathtubs so the water would stay hotter for longer.
Astele would have a stand-up shower and only soak when Jaheira invited her to bathe together.
I don’t think either would eat cupcakes.
Current situation: eating a cupcake while taking a bath because I got a massage yesterday and the masseuse beat the shit out of me.
Also wondering whether Jaheira and Astele would be bath girls or shower girls?
I bet Astele would appreciate the quickness of a shower, while Jaheira would be a long, hot bath lover with bath bombs and bath teas and shit like that.
Jaheira would have one of those deep copper bathtubs so the water would stay hotter for longer.
Astele would have a stand-up shower and only soak when Jaheira invited her to bathe together.
I don’t think either would eat cupcakes.
FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.
ah yes, the four main food groups: chinese takeaway, coffee, carbohydrates, and pussy
Some say it's a force of cavalry, others of foot,
others of ships, but I say that the most beautiful thing
upon the black earth is whatever it is you desire.
It's easy enough to make this plain to all:
for she who was far more beautiful than any woman of mortal race,
Helen, abandoned her husband - the best of men -
and went sailing off to Troy; she remembered neither her child
nor her much-loved parents, but Aphrodite(?)
led her astray . . .
[This] has made me think of Anactoria, who isn't here.
Her step, which stirs desire, and the bright sparkle of her face,
are dearer sights to me than the chariots of Lydia,
and armed men fighting on foot.
Sappho, Fragment 16.
This is a translation by Gillian Spraggs published in 1998. http://www.gillianspraggs.com/translations/sappho16.html
Sappho and Erinna in a Garden at Mytilene, Simeon Solomon, 1864. Watercolour.
The European stereotype of American ice cube consumption is sadly accurate as I’ve just realized I have at least 28 ice cubes in my water cup. The Europeans would kick me out if I ever tried to cross the pond, I fear.
Posting this here because it’s one of my faves and because there’s nothing you can do to stop me!
Sewer Journals
What this fic has:
Jaheira being nosy as hell
Smut (because it’s me and apparently I can’t just write a regular fic - it’s not reeeally dirty like usual tho!!)
Ultra-soft Nine-Fingers Keene (deal with it)
What this fic does not have:
Uhm. Idk. Jaheira showing restraint like she ought to since she’s the High Harper and old as hell
Summary:
“Jaheira let out an amused breath. Sewer journals. It would appear the Underduke kept detailed diaries. Coded details of all past, present, and possibly future Guild business? A clear advantage; knowledge she absolutely must learn. She picked an older red one and opened it to a random page. She had long ago learned the code in which Nine-Fingers wrote her Guild communications, but the code in these pages seemed slightly different. Certain symbols and letters replaced ones that Jaheira knew well. But she was a quick study, always had been.”
This is gorgeous. All we need now is smell-o-vision.
The Athenaeum was my go-to as a teen! Highly recommend for Xena fics and femshalsh!
Most people tend to agree that Ao3 is the go-to fanfiction site nowadays, but some of you really need to remember that older fandoms (and fandoms up through the early 2010's even) have a LOT of content on places like FF.net, Livejournal, Wordpress, etc. Some people even still post there and elsewhere exclusively. Like, you're truly missing out in those cases if you think Ao3 is the end all and be all of fandom content. I was still actively using LJ communities to find and share fics until around 2020.
I've even been reading for an old fandom of mine on FF.net this past week. Y'all don't even know. There are literally FAR more fics there than can be found on Ao3 simply because of when this fandom began.
Ao3 is easier to use and superior in almost every way, but too many people think that all "quality" fic or all fic in general is on Ao3 without considering what was available beforehand. Too many people think all fanfiction on fanfiction.net is bad just because it's on fanfiction.net. They don't even think about the older blogging sites.
I'm just saying. Y'all are missing out by not being open to navigating the fandom archives and spaces that dominated before Ao3 got here.
The Mirror 1899 Painting by John William Godward 1861-1922
My Girl (Chapter 7 - Baldur's Gate 3 fanfiction)
Can I offer you a little bit of Shadowzel (+ baby) cuteness to brighten up your weekend?
Ship: Shadowzel
WC: 3,725
Warnings: None
You can read it under the cut or on AO3. Your comments and interactions always make my day! 🥰
A few months have gone by and she still hasn't chosen a name for her daughter, although the child has already been introduced to their group of friends. Everyone keeps referring to her as 'the baby' or 'the little one.' Karlach, who is ridiculously eager to babysit, jokingly calls her Lil'zel or Tadpole, which really irritates Lae'zel. And that's probably the reason why Astarion has started following suit; all she can hope for is that the nickname won't catch on. It's not the first time someone in Faerûn has compared her or her people to frogs and toads and, while she knows it's usually a humorous comment with no malice, she doesn't see the resemblance. Not to mention all the negative associations to the word 'tadpole'.
Shadowheart's parents, more practical, simply speak of 'their granddaughter.' Arnell has suggested a few elvish names and told them several times the story of how they chose Shadowheart's original one. He had a dream about a character from an old ballad named Jenevelle three days before Emmeline gave birth and considered it to be a divine sign. Unfortunately, Lae'zel has been sleep-deprived for tendays, so no way for the gods to inspire her like that.
Neither is it easy to think of anything when that tiny ball of flesh attached to her chest won't stop crying. She's been like this for hours without losing any intensity or getting tired. If she were a boy, she would name her Tropos, which roughly translates to 'thunder voice'. The sound drills into Lae'zel's ears and echoes inside her head, filling it completely. She's beginning to understand why the rest of the party used to protest so much about her sharpening her weapons at camp. Perhaps if she apologizes to all of them, even if years have gone by, the gods will stop punishing her.
The noise is so loud that it takes about three or four times until Lae'zel hears someone knocking on the door. Bouncing the baby in that carrier that has become an extension of her body, she rises from the couch to answer. It's Emmeline.
“Shadowheart has not arrived yet,” Lae'zel says, interrupting herself to click her tongue and make other sounds that are supposed to calm her daughter down. “The bakery must be busy today.”
“That's fine,” Emmeline replies. “I've cooked too much stew and came to bring you some.”
She points to the bowl in her hand. Lae'zel moves aside to let her in. Grateful though she is that her mother-in-law has been thinking of them, she wonders how they are supposed to eat all that food. Lately everyone who has dropped by their house has given them something edible, from Karlach's slightly blackened cookies to the basket of fruit from his orchard Halsin brought them all the way from Reithwin. They must have decided that they look famished.
No matter how much she shushes or pleads with her, the little girl won't shut up. It almost distracts her from the wave of shame in the pit of her stomach while she watches Emmeline try to find room for the bowl on the overpopulated counters. She has a lot of washing-up to catch up on, but the past three or four days – she's not sure what day it is anymore – have been rather hectic.
Luckily, Emmeline doesn't make any comments. No questions asked, she takes as many dishes as she can to the small water fountain in the patio and cleans them. A few minutes later, everything has been put away and the kitchen looks immaculate.
Meanwhile, the baby hasn't stopped shrieking.
“May I?” Emmeline asks, stretching out her arms to hold her.
Lae'zel is too desperate to hesitate. She lets Emmeline take her daughter and uses the moment to roll her shoulders and stretch her back, sore from carrying the child everywhere all day.
“I have tried everything,” Lae'zel tells her. “She does not need changing or cleaning. I have fed her, winded her, entertained her, sung to her, but she just goes on and on. And it is still too soon for her to develop teeth.”
Nodding sympathetically, Emmeline places the baby on the kitchen table. She studies her before removing one of her socks. A long brown hair, which definitely belongs to Lae'zel, is wrapped around one of those tiny toes. As soon as Emmeline gets rid of it, the infant finally calms down.
“How... how did you know?” Lae'zel blinks astonishedly.
“The same thing happened to Shadowheart once. I even took her to a healer, thinking she was ill. It was a different kind of crying from when she was tired or hungry.”
Lae'zel sighs. She feels so stupid. With all the time she spends with her daughter, she should already know how to recognize her needs. Gods, she even read something about how common hair loss is after giving birth and how often those loose hairs get caught in children's body parts. How could she forget? A hand pats her back tenderly.
“Hey, you're still learning,” Emmeline says softly. “Don't be so hard on yourself.”
She must be as transparent as the glass bottles she uses to store her milk. Looking on the bright side, the child is finally falling asleep, so she rushes to put her in her crib before she changes her mind. When she returns to the kitchen, the stew is bubbling on the fire.
“Thought you could use a meal,” Emmeline smiles as she tosses it with a wooden spoon.
As if replying in her name, Lae'zel's stomach grumbles. She hasn't eaten at all today, so she couldn't be more thankful when Emmeline hands her the bowl of warmed-up stew and sits with her while she nourishes herself.
“Poor thing, you look very tired,” she observes.
Lae'zel nods. She's indeed exhausted, but she shouldn't be. Yes, she hasn't been getting much sleep lately, but it's Shadowheart who gets up before the sun every morning to make bread and has kind words and touches for all the people she heals every afternoon. Every couple of days, Karlach comes over asking to borrow the baby for a few hours. She's trying to convince Minthara to adopt one of their own and hopes her brand new niece will help. Wyll and Jaheira have also babysat for them a bunch of times. Arnell and Emmeline check on them every single day; they've even adopted their two cats temporarily because they seemed to be jealous of the new addition to the family. Hells, even Aylin showed up recently, each of her twins in one arm, and took her for a walk so that the three little cousins could become acquainted. Lae'zel knows she should use those brief moments of truce to do the chores she's been neglecting, but there's so much to do she ends up getting overwhelmed and passing out halfway through them. She's still embarrassed about that one time she fell asleep in the bathtub when she was supposed to wash herself quickly and then repair the nursery window.
She should be way more efficient. Especially with all the help she's getting.
“I will be fine,” Lae'zel brushes it off. “Thank you for your help.”
“Happy to help, sweet girl.”
Not only is she an amazing grandmother and a loving mother to Shadowheart, but she also takes care of her. Lae'zel feels her eyes sting. How could she ever be half as good as Emmeline is?
“By the way, I'm making a new onesie for the baby,” Emmeline announces brightly. “It was almost done, but I decided to make it bigger so that it will last longer. They grow up so fast!”
True. When the egg hatched, she was no bigger than Lae'zel's two palms together. The green blanket could be wrapped around that minuscule body several times. Now she fills it rather nicely. A thin, dark layer of hair has covered her head. Her ears, which could have been mistaken for a half-elf's in the first few tendays, have grown considerably and developed a few indentations, much like Lae'zel's. And it's not just something physical. Every day, her child seems to be acquiring new skills. Her heart swells at the thought.
She's just finished her food – which feels as effective as a healing potion – when Shadowheart arrives home. As she takes off her jacket and hangs it by the door, Lae'zel can't help but notice how skinny her wife is getting. Her cheeks are sinking, and the dark rings under her eyes are not make-up. Even so, she smiles as she greet them both with hugs.
“I'm sorry we didn't save you any stew, baby,” Emmeline tells her. “We didn't know when you'd be here.”
“It's alright, Mama. We were running late, so I had a sausage roll at the bakery.” Shadowheart lets out a sigh. “Thank the gods I don't have any patients coming in today!”
That's good. Shadowheart has been working really hard lately; she has earned a quiet evening. Or as quiet as it can be. Hopefully, the little one will still nap for one or two hours.
“What are you going to do?” Emmeline wonders. “Anything enjoyable?”
“A bath!” Shadowheart exclaims. “My kingdom for a bath! I have flour everywhere, even in parts of my body I can't see. Then I'm subjected to the little princess's will.”
Lae'zel smiles. The affectionate nicknames Shadowheart gives their daughter are adorable. Emmeline looks between them both and stands up from her chair.
“In that case, I shall not distract you anymore. Those cats don't feed themselves. Have a nice evening, you two!”
No sooner has the door closed with a thud than Shadowheart gives Lae'zel a sweet peck on the lips. She appears to be in a good mood in spite of the long day at work.
“Need anything from me?” she wants to know. “If you don't, I'll go bathe right now before the star of the house awakes.”
Fortunately for them, they do get that well-deserved hour to rest and look after themselves. When the child starts calling, Lae'zel is relieved to know that she simply needs to be fed. Shadowheart comes downstairs while they're in the middle of it, a towel holding her dripping silver hair. There's a pensive expression on her face; Lae'zel believes she detects a hint of melancholy in it. Yet before she can question her about it, someone knocks at the door again.
“I'll get that,” Shadowheart says.
This time, it's Arnell standing on the other side.
“Hello! Mama tells me you're not working this evening, so I'm here to pick up my granddaughter.”
“She is eating,” Lae'zel replies, in case her bare breasts and the hatchling in her arms weren't clear enough signs.
“No hurry, of course!” Arnell holds up his palms. “I can come back in a few, or you can bring her over when she's ready. Just thought you both could use a break, from what Mama has told me.”
Lae'zel blushes. She must have looked terribly haggard if Emmeline feels that lending them a hand is so urgent. Her gaze meets Shadowheart's, who gives her an eager nod before responding.
“That'd be lovely!”
Although she trusts Shadowheart's parents almost as much as herself or Shadowheart, Lae'zel feels the sting of guilt as she hands the baby, fed and winded, to Arnell. She could use a rest, that's for sure, and some time alone with Shadowheart. Or rather, Shadowheart deserves some attention after how busy she's been since their daughter was born. The way she all but throws herself into Lae'zel's arms the second they're on their own says everything.
“An evening off and my beautiful wife all to myself! What more could I ask for?” Shadowheart sighs happily, resting her head on Lae'zel's lap.
“I am happy to be here with you too, my joy. What would you like to do?”
Secretly, she hopes whatever Shadowheart has in mind is not too mentally or physically demanding. Breastfeeding always leaves her feeling sleepy. Yet she will not show such weakness. She owes it to Shadowheart. Pressing her lips tightly together, she conceals a yawn and looks down at her wife, waiting for her decision.
“I... don't know,” Shadowheart thinks aloud. “Go for a walk, maybe? We still have a couple of hours of sunlight left.”
“It will have to be a short one. We should not stray too far from this area in case your parents or the baby need us.”
“You worry too much! The other day you wouldn't let Wyll take her home because you were afraid Astarion would eat her.”
“Feed on her, not eat her. He is still a vampire, is he not?”
“He wouldn't do that to us, and you know it.”
This time it is Shadowheart's turn to yawn. She squeezes her eyes shut with a barely perceptible wince.
“Are you alright?” Lae'zel asks.
“Yes. Just a headache. A tiny one.”
“My poor joy!”
Leaning forward, Lae'zel places her hands on both of Shadowheart's temples and presses gently with her fingertips. Her thumbs rub circles in the center of Shadowheart's forehead. The half-elf releases a hum.
“Feels nice. But you don't have to do this. It's not so bad, really.”
“Ssssh,” Lae'zel whispers. “You work so hard for us. It is time someone thanked you.”
“You seriously don't have to-”
Her words are interrupted by another yawn. She shifts a little, making herself more comfortable. Lae'zel's hands move to her scalp and massage between strands of silver hair. The cute moan she receives in return makes it absolutely worth it.
“If you go on like this,” Shadowheart says, “I'll fall asleep. And we'll never go on that walk.”
“Then we will go for a stroll another time, my joy. Just relax.”
It seems to be working. At least that's what the smile on Shadowheart's lips tells her. She covers them with her palm to hide yet another yawn. This time, Lae'zel can't help but replicate it.
“You're tired, too,” Shadowheart remarks, cracking one eye open. “I should be the one giving you a massage. Your shoulders must be sore after carrying her all day.”
“I am fine. Do not worry about me.”
“It's not fair, you know?”
Lae'zel can feel her eyelids growing heavy as well. Having Shadowheart there, completely frozen except for the slow rising and falling of her chest, is incredibly relaxing. She makes her think of their cats, how they'd remain motionless like statues while being petted.
It's only hours later, when Arnell's knocks on the door awake them, that they realize they've fallen asleep together on that couch.
My two yr old is looking through a book about prehistoric art and she saw a picture of those cave painting of hands and she held up her own and said "hand!" And I gotta be honest. That hit
Fanfiction on ao3? Big yes. Original works and poetry on ao3? Even bigger yes! Diabolical things in the anonymous collection? Maniacal yes!
Neither enemies to lovers nor slow burn but a secret third thing called Schrödinger's intimacy. We are in love and we are not in love do NOT open that lid I swear to God.
Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.
Someone desperately needs to take photo mode away from me.
Anyway, take a break from your mental illness to enjoy mine. I’ll warn you, these are poorly done and NSFW.
Jaheira x Nine-Fingers (technically my Tav, but we’re all on tumblr to use our imaginations, right??)
The worst thing about depression is feeling utterly lonely even when you’re surrounded by people who love you.
“Someone will remember us
I say
even in another time”
- Fragment 147, Sappho
Fragments by Sappho mock book cover 💘💐🕊️
I’ve been continuing to play with cover concepts, and am very excited to share this one for a prospective collection of Sappho’s poem fragments. 💘
I’d come up with the idea earlier, to reuse my illustration of Flora from Stabiae, but this week I stumbled across this very cool font named Big Caesar that looks just like ancient handwriting. I’ve tweaked it a little bit to fit the composition, but overall kept the original look.
Jaheira: “Nine-Fingers - Astele.”
Nine-Fingers: “Anything I can do to take that wrinkle from your brow, grandmother?”
Me: screaming and scheming and getting out my red string
the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating